from my journal:
Boy, my hair is really getting silver! Mom’s hair turned all silver later on in life. I’m kind of enjoying it! It’s actually beautiful. We love wearing silver jewelry or silver accessories, so why not sport silver hair, ladies? We think nothing of coloring our hair various shades of yellow, brown, red, black, even blue! So why not just enjoy your natural color of grey or silver or white?
Don’t let anyone or anything tell you that you are not attractive enough, or young enough. We all are beginning to recognize that our culture is youth oriented, no, youth obsessed! Do you ever start off feeling pretty good about yourself, and then proceed to watch t.v. and not too long after, you are feeling not thin enough, not young enough, your hair isn’t shiny enough?
You need a makeover! How could you even consider going out in public with that un-shiney, slightly frizzy hair? (I remember when frizz was in.) A friend of mine, a beautiful woman, was upset because she was getting a few grey hairs…and spotted a wrinkle or two. As I tried to reassure her that it wasn’t anything to worry about, I realized that even the most beautiful women are insecure, because they are just as suseptible as the rest of us to the hypnotic overlay that they are valued primarily for their bodies, and they need to conform to predetermined, unrealistic standards of beauty…
When I was younger, I found myself struggling with the search for the elixer for youth…the right cream, supplements, exercises, makeup…until I grew tired and wanted to abort the whole mission. It forced me to go deeper, to recognize my inner beauty, Eventually I began to focus on my inner light, and as I found that to be beautiful, I slowly let go of the harsh outer standards and embraced my own.
I began to realize that my opinion was the most important one anyway, and that sensuality, and sexuality was an inner quality that radiated outward. They were expressions of self-confidence and embracing life and all it’s sensual joys. And those could never be diminished by age, size or shape.
How many of us can honestly look in the mirror and say, ‘hi beautiful’? It begins with accepting ourselves, loving ourselves just as we are – because we are perfect expressons of god/goddess/all that is. What’s the highest compliment a woman can receive? “wow, you don’t look your age!” Right? Music to our ears! But, we are in effect saying that aging is bad. Unacceptable. So we are denying a part of ourselves. Aging is even considered a ‘disease.’
I believe we do have control over our body’s health and appearance, and we deserve to feel beautiful and healthy. But according to whose standards? We can create more youthful bodies with our consciouseness and we are working on age reversal, but meanwhile we need to embrace our selves, love ourselves, unconditionally.
Recognize your magnificance. Dare to see your beauty, in a world that has a limited perception of what beauty is. As you do, you will be an example for others to do the same for themselves. Aren’t we overdue for some new role models? Why is there jus one type of perfect body. For women it’s young and slender, with shiney hair, perfect teeth, chiseled features, and flawless skin. Why on earth does hair have to be shiney anyway? I am amazed that so many black women straighten their hair. I would give anything to have that thick wavy hair!
Why do some of the most beautiful women feel insecure? Because they are not acknowledging their true essence -their spirit, their soul. When a woman buys into the idea that she is her body, that her primary value lies in her physical vessel, she could never feel secure or free. Unless she can somehow keep her body from aging or dying, she will forever fear the inevitable. Then, who will she be?
In a society that measures success by arbitrary, unrealistic standards, it’s not easy to live by your own edicts, but life is so much richer when we examine our beliefs and challange ourselves to go beyond them. Especially when we are being constantly fed values that go against our inner guidance.
Just check in with yourself from time to time, and ask yourself: does that outside standard feel right to me? Does it make me feel good about myself? Or does it make me feel like who I am right now is not good enough? Is it encouraging me to change something about myself – my appearance, my behavior, in order to be accepted, or worthy? And is there a product or service attached to it?
Once we recognize that our opinion is really the only one that matters, we can let go of outside judgements and live a life of joy and self -love. It’s liberating, and many others want that, too. They need role models – you – to take on the challange of self-love. Don’t wait, begin to fall in love with yourself today!
Enjoy my song, ‘Everybody Ought To Be Their Own Best Friend.’