As the ascension process continues, we discover that our family, friends, and community, for the most part, do not understand what we are going through. Fortunately, we have a growing global family who does. They are a few clicks away on the internet.
Meanwhile, we still have our own corner of the world to deal with and to live in. In my own life, I am taking advantage of the new energies and allowing more of my heart’s desires into my life, and less things that are motivated by wanting to please others. Not always easy considering we were taught that we must put aside our own needs for the needs of family, friends, and community.
The good news is, everyone is adjusting. With any change, even a good one, there is resistance, but as we learn to exercise our self-care muscles, those around us begin to learn our ‘new patterns’. I will rarely make plans ahead of time any more with anyone in my life, considering the bouts of fatigue I have been experiencing. It’s just too much pressure for me to make plans then have to cancel and disappoint people. I tell them, just call me the day of and if I can I’ll go there or whatever activity they invite me to. I’m also turning down invitations to things that just do not sound like fun. I have less and less tolerance for ‘small talk’ with people, so I make sure I don’t get myself in a situation in which I am doing just that. A few minutes here and there at the cafe is fine, but more than that, I grow weary!
I am still invited to the occasional ‘function’ of friends and family, but I will rarely go. It’s just too hard.
The Morning Ritual
In the mornings, I won’t turn on my cell phone until I’ve gotten my coffee, sat down (I enjoy going to the local Panera Cafe), written in my journal for a while, and stared out the window dreamily for a bit. And, actually it rarely rings anymore. (For me that’s a good thing.) A woman I know told me she would never turn her cell phone off unless she was in church, because she wanted to be accessible for family. I thought that was strange. And, as I look at her and her family, it’s a picture of stress and disease. Why be so ‘available’ if it doesn’t bring you any joy?
It’s so easy to play the victim and tell ourselves that we need to sacrifice for family or friends. It’s what we were taught growing up. We thought love meant being approved of, doing the ‘right thing.’ That’s the story of so much of humanity, isn’t it? So many are in jobs they can hardly tolerate for a paycheck. Perhaps in relationships that no longer bring them joy. But there is a growing unrest and the soul can’t be ‘tamed’ anymore. The cost is too high for the sense of ‘security.’
Dare To Be Selfish
Why would I use the word, selfish instead of self-caring or self-loving? Because it gets your attention! Because for so many in the forefront of the ascension movement, guilt comes in. When you are feeling guilt for not ‘being there’ for others. It feels ‘un-spiritual’ to be self-loving. And, as I said, others will adjust or just move on to playing the guilt game with someone else. It also gives them permission to become more ‘selfish’ and do what brings them joy.
We have learned that we don’t need to change anyone else’s mind about anything in order for us to feel good. We have learned that we can just allow everyone else to be themselves. We also are allowing all of the emotions to come through us but not identify with them. The sadness, anger, depression: Most of them are not even ours. We get to choose how we want to feel, even if it takes some effort to get back to feeling good on our part.
As we become selfish we become more of who we really are. It means we are allowing in more of our soul. We begin to stand taller and radiate a quiet confidence. Others sense it. Things seem to flow more smoothly. People seem more co-operative.
I’m sure I still annoy and confuse people in my life. And they may never understand what I am going through. That I crave more time alone, that I enjoy my own company more than anyone else. That I have very little tolerance for manipulation or emotional dependency. Sometimes I still do some things from a place of obligation. I’m slowly letting that go, especially when my inner child protests.
We came here at this auspicious time to break patterns, and to create a new reality. Not to follow the old rules like lemmings. Oh, yes, there are moments when I wax nostalgic for a time when my life seemed nicely ordered: nice little job at an office, a partner, a nice steady paycheck, a little self-contained community. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but for me, it spelled prison for my soul. And as we claim our masterhood in the new energy, we may want to go back to visit that life, but it will be from quite a different perspective.
If being selfish is too overwhelming for you, just start small. Turn off your cell phone for a couple of hours during the day. Decline an invitation from a friend or family member if it really doesn’t feel like fun without talking yourself into going. It takes trust to do this. Especially if you are one who identified themselves as a care-taker. Or a lightworker, or ….a woman!
Maybe you’re already being delightfully selfish on a regular basis. Then your loving actions toward others are coming from a place of balance, not from lack. All those reading this are courageous souls and are prepared to be and deserve to be grandly selfish!