Enjoy my song, Inside of Me, while reading the post.
Most people don’t want change. They will bitch about their circumstances, but at the same time hold dearly to the status quo. Why is that?
For one thing, change is hard. There is a comfort in patterns, even if those patterns are not bringing us joy. And the status quo is serving us in some way. We resign ourselves to conditions or situations or ways of behaving in order to avoid something we consider far worse. For example, staying in an abusive relationship is better than being alone. Working in a job that gives us no joy is better than the anxiety of not knowing where the money will come from. Being the emotional care taker for others is better than facing ourself and all our own feelings.
Some behaviors and patterns feel like home or like love according to our personal childhood experiences. We may have been taught that love means behaving well or being there for the needs of others, putting aside our own needs in the process. This is a hard role to give up. Even when it clearly violates our self-respect. Women especially have been taught that giving, giving, giving (over nurturing) is the way to receive love. So they allow their personal boundaries to be crossed so much of the time to the point where they don’t even recognize it’s happening.
Meanwhile, they are repressing feelings of anger and resentment, because on the deeper level they know this is not love, and it certainly is not balanced.
Now we are releasing patterns in a way never done before. Through ascension. We used to have to die and release our bodies and personalities in order to achieve that. Now we are doing it in this lifetime in these bodies. So if we are feeling indisposed physically, mentally and emotionally, and if our lives are turned upside down, we are right on track. You see, because humans are so resistant to change, sometimes there has to be a disruption of the status quo. We need to be knocked off our feet, at least initially.
But what happens in the process is we start to worry that something is wrong with us. The only thing wrong is we are still clinging to those old patterns. Change is intimidating. It requires moving out of our comfort zones. For example, sometimes it requires us to take actions that make us look selfish.
It often requires us to put our own needs in front of other people in our life. Sometimes it requires us to be alone, to depend upon ourselves. Yes, this ascension is extracting the old patterns right out of us, often in a painful way, because we do not like change so much, even though we asked for this change.
So much stuff is churned up, so much guilt, so much anger, so much sadness, and doubt. Oh how we doubt. What’s wrong with me? What should I be doing? Maybe my instincts are wrong and I should go back to the old ways. I’m beginning to stand out too much from the crowd. We also find ourselves saying, I seem to be happier in spite of my own chaos and the drama out there in the world. I seem to like my own company better than most everyone else’s. I don’t seem to enjoy care taking others any more. In fact I am realizing that the care taking was the main connection I had with them and without it there is not much left to relate to with them.
And even with the inner voice that tells me I’m not worthy. I am no longer giving that voice much attention.
We want change, and we are getting it. Like never before. We took on patterns on behalf of others, in order to transmute those patterns. So they weren’t even ours. Even so, we get stuck in them and they need to be extricated out of us. We are changing, we are beginning to respecting ourselves, and others reflect that back to us. We notice we don’t attract so many energy leaches anymore. Which also means we can be a little bored without our old role to rely on, being there for others. Because being there for ourselves can sometimes be lonely. It means being with all our feelings.
It also means being there with our joy. Seeing our magnificence. Taking responsibility for our life and claiming our freedom. Freedom from worry and fear, and from the opinions of others. No, most people don’t want change. They just want to bitch about their life. But you, dear way shower, wanted change. You asked for it a while ago. You were the adventurous souls. You came into this lifetime prepared, having worked on yourself over lifetimes, now ready to allow your christ seed to emerge. No, you didn’t anticipate quite how much of a tsunami this thing called enlightenment would be, but nothing was going to stop you.
You wanted more than anything your enlightenment.