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For those awakening divine humans

Ascension and Flying Solo: Me, Myself And I

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If you are reading this, you most likely know that the more awakened you become, the less you are surrounded by people you can relate to on a soul level.  And, even if you are in a ‘significant’ relationship, you can feel quite alone.  Not necessarily lonely, though, because you have an online community of like-minded souls, that relates to you on the level you appreciate, as you are establishing a relationship with your divinity.  But, on a human, one to one level, with someone you can sit across from, you may be coming up empty.

You may be finding that relationships that were established in the old energy are no longer satisfying.    Even those people you considered friends and acquaintances are becoming tedious and unfulfilling. In the past you accommodated others, trying to connect with them at their level, even to the point where you didn’t even recognize you were doing that.  In past lives fitting in was essential for your safety and survival.

Not something you need to be concerned about anymore.

Rest assured, there are people in your life who want to ride on the coat tails of your radiance, who like being around you, but who are not willing to be their own lighthouse.  So, rather than be in that type of energy feeding,  you more and more prefer to spend time alone, doing things on your own, rather than compromise your joy.

It can be a difficult place to be where you are letting go of other people, or they, you, and you are still not yet integrated with your new partner, your soul.  I remember, when I was younger, when a relationship ended I would jump into another immediately, not understanding that I took my vibration with me.  So I created more drama with a new partner.  So it is now, as we find ourselves alone, perhaps some of us are without a partner, we want to jump into the relationship with our soul without doing the inner work.  And that work is simply to love ourselves just as we are.

We now understand how important it is to be with ourselves in a profound way.  Otherwise we will keep attracting unsatisfying connections to others, and even to our soul.  Because our soul honors our choice to keep it at arm’s length, and as long as we are trying and pushing for results, we keep anything we desire at arm’s length.

I recall, in my past, how many times I tried to ‘change’ my partners.  How I kept trying to make them love me more, or understand me more.  I kept projecting my unfulfilled desires onto them.

In the past, we felt incomplete without a partner, and it was because we already felt incomplete within ourselves.  It’s how most of humanity feels.

But now, with ascension, embodied enlightenment, we become complete, or rather, we embrace our wholeness.  But not by searching for the right person or partner out there.  And in a world that is all about coupling up, and love and marriage, it can feel quite unnatural to fly solo.

Yet as ascending masters it becomes imperative to make the relationship with ourself and our soul the primary one.  It requires a committment to self in which we choose solitude for a time.  Unencumbered by a relationship in which we become distracted.  And unfortunately, most relationships on the Planet are based in duality, in a co-dependency.  They were designed to show us where we were at, as a reflection of ourselves.

At this stage of our ascension we no longer need that mirror.  We no longer connect with a partner from a place of neediness, loneliness, boredom, or insecurity.

Many of us stopped looking outside ourselves for that elusive soul mate and realize that we are destined to reunite with our true love, our own divine nature.  We experienced a falling apart of any relationship that was built on the old paradigm of feeling unfulfilled.

We find ourselves in a new place.  Does it get lonely?  Of course it does.  Will it take time to feel that fulfillment from our soul?  Yes, but the price becomes too high to do anything else.

So if you find yourself alone with no partner, you couldn’t be in a better position to accelerate your ascension.  It is indeed a sacred space.  If you let go of the societal pressure to ‘couple up’ you find that you begin to build a strong foundation of self-love and health.  But it requires coming to a place of peace with where you are at:  not quite there yet with feeling that deep connection with your soul on more of a day-to-day basis, yet not wanting to enmesh yourself in any relationship or partnership of the old energy.  You cannot afford that kind of compromise.  Your soul does not compromise its integrity for any one or any thing.

And, as we give ourselves the gift of embracing our divinity first, becoming that loving partner for ourself, if we choose to have a flesh and blood partner to share our joy with, they will be there.

copyright © 2015, Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, your Facebook page, etc, but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Six years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

59 thoughts on “Ascension and Flying Solo: Me, Myself And I

  1. Yes yes yes!!!

    I have been with my dearest for 25 years but I don’t talk to him about any of this stuff and really it is okay. As he says, “Elizabeth takes care of the woo woo shit in the family! ” He cracks me up and we laugh so much and go dancing a lot. I love our life and I also require lots of alone time.

    And I have felt pretty darn alone for my whole life. So grateful for my online friends. My spiritual life is everything to me and I adore my deep connection to Source.

    I notice myself staying away from 3D folks…. Folks who live primarily in that world….I just get plain worn out by that……

    You said it so well, dear sistar goddess!!!

    Thank you! Much love

    • Elizabeth
      I understand what you mean. While I don’t have a significant other in my life at this time, the closest I can come to relating to what you are saying is, I have been coming to a cafe here in my area for fifteen years almost daily. I love being here and writing and relaxing. The folks here do not understand or embrace the new consciousness, and some even want to feed off my energy from time to time, but there are too many great aspects to this place that I don’t want to give up. It just works for me. We know on a deep level if or when it is time to move on. Sometimes a certain type of relationship can give us the grounding we need.

      And yes, there are days I just can’t stand hearing conversations around me, and the traffic and I want to scream!!!! Whew. 3d gets tiresome. Love to you sistar!💕💕💕

      • Maria and all——Life is interesting for sure. I love the connections here. So so happy to find you all!!!

        With a couple of close 3D folks, I am still struggling a bit with how to let it flow over me and around me…..I still get annoyed. But I figure it is good litmus testing.
        And these are folks who will not go away for reasons I will not get into here. I have managed to manage my blood family…….basically no contact with my dad and minimal with my mum.

        I became a Sikh back in1975 (wore a turban to high school.) I had an arranged marriage and got married when I was 18. I hate to call him my first husband because it sounds like I am going to have a slew….. 🙂 Some people say “practice husband” or “wasband”. Anyway, I had two great children with him. (Best friend son, 35 and best friend daughter, 32—not that I am old enough…….. I was at the birth, though, so I know I am old enough….heehee) Then through him I met Jim. They were climbing partners. Practice hubby and I had been separated and I asked Jim out as a practice date. heehee That is our anniversary, March 15. 25 years. Jim, my hubby, is like my first real boyfriend and it just keeps getting better and better. I feel super blessed.

        I had started realizing that I had to get out of that loveless marriage and had a lovely epiphany that God/Source/Universe/Home Office was the most important thing to me. We had been Sikhs and PH (practice hubby) had just cut his hair and become a passionate Atheist. He told me I had to give up God if I wanted to stay married. I called him a born again Atheist. heehee

        You said above, “Sometimes a certain type of relationship can give us the grounding we need.” This is so fricking true! Jim keeps me laughing and sane and at times insane 🙂 and helps me be grounded. I have been such an insecure person my whole life, having him really like me and love me has made a huge difference to me. My ex never really liked me. I have worked hard over the last 40+ years…..first Kundalini yoga class back in 1972……healing healing healing……now feeling pretty darn fine. It has been fucking hard……was not totally sure I would make it.

        Anyway, all good shit…………….

        Not sure why I felt compelled to tell all that but I have to go with it.

        Much love and joy to all here. So happy to be connected.

        Thanks Maria Sistar, for YOU being you and bringing cadre/kindred spirits together.

        muah muah muah

      • Elizabeth
        I love that you shared all that. Because I know so many can relate to it. I certainly can!!! And at the same time, this enlightenment business is totally unique to each of us. And it’s also refreshing to have that perspective. Thank you for this awesome sharing!💚💙💗💞

      • YAY for connections and joy and love and love and love and light!!!!!!!!

        love you all!!!!!

  2. oh gosh Maria, so so drawn to your blog because of your understanding of this solo path ❤

    i've never "partnered up" because this whole awakening path hit me all kinds of loud and clear right after high school, so the idea of forming relationships in the way most of society does never felt right to my spirit. i'm quite a bit younger than most everyone on this whole ascension-y path, i tend to not mention it cause age is pretty irrelevant to me at this point i guess, but even before i knew anything about "ascension" the way relationships are in this world just never felt right to me…. even as a little girl i felt that way… especially the relationships most people consider "normal", none of it felt right to me.

    i feel like most people live their lives having relationships out of all kinds of incompleteness or unconsciousness, and then "who they are" ends up being a reaction to their relationships. i've just always felt that strong desire in me to seek wholeness and then let my relationships unfold as a reflection of who i truly am. relationships just don't make sense to me unless they reflect and honor the truth of my soul :\

    thank you always so so much for this perspective, even on this path, it's been hard for me to find others who understand this so perfectly ❤

    • Sweet pea
      You are right, our chronological age is irrelevant, and its our soul’s wisdom and experience that makes the difference! And it sounds like you are indeed an advanced soul and have a great deal of wisdom to offer. I think many of us went through the ‘motions’ of what was expected of us in life, not only because we forgot who we were, but there was a purpose to the forgetting. So we could deeply immerse ourselves in those roles. So we could develop the compassion for other humans, for what they are going through, so that we can teach them, by example, not just words, how to get out of those roles.
      Thanks for your imput, fellow teacher!💚💚💚

      • yes i feel that so much! i’ve been so drawn here because of what you share about this stuff… and i feel like you having “gone through the ‘motions’” like you say has given you this way to perfectly articulate what i was sorta born feeling inside of me and not knowing any kinda way to sort or understand because what i feel is so in contrast to what i see in most of the world around me. a bit like those of you who went through it and have come through the other side seeking that wholeness have helped clear a path for souls like me who would come into this world aching for the wholeness right away.

        thank you for sharing always, it’s the kind of things i’ve been searching for women in my world to express since i can remember ❤

      • I like to tell folks I am 58 and a half but really I am 18! And I love being a crone…….The numbers just don’t mean shit, do they?

        much love!

      • Maria

        This perspective helped me a great deal. I am one of the ones who went through the motions (like her life depended on it) for so so long, and then once ascension kicked in and i started getting a better feel for my Self & what was happening, i felt like i was “behind” somehow, that id wasted so much time & energy so fruitlessly and sometimes even stupidly (i was meaner to me back then), and i often felt envious of the younger gals i saw in the process who seemed so much more aware & smart at a much earlier age. But your take on it makes me see it was just the way it needed to be–there were no mistakes or waste. These days my observations and feeling about relationships are just what y’all are describing here. I believe wholeness is the only way to go forward into loving realationships, self love is essential before any sharing can be fulfilling. Like Kat said, anything else makes me cringe & a bit nauseous. Kat & sweet pea, its true age is irrelevant. I have been fascinated reading your experiences, feelings & viewpoints, and find you both fantastically articulate & tuned in. Sweet pea, a couple of things you said here REALLY struck me as super insightful– how people are having relationships based in all kinds of incompleteness & unconsciousness, and how “who they are” ends up being a reaction to their relationships. That is so spot on and so well stated. I also agree that the relationships i see around me and have experienced in the past are people struggling against one another instead of giving each other love. Very keen observation. Its notable to me that in the majority of the relationships i have experienced, romantic or otherwise, i have almost never felt that someone was attempting to GIVE (or share) something (*especially* when it came to sex)–what i felt most acutely was the other trying to GET something.
        I am so grateful for all the sharing here, ALL the insight. I consider each of you treasured role models –especially after a lifetime of feeling completely OTHER and alone. And age doesnt really factor into that appreciation!
        So much love to all my Sisters here,
        💕💚💕💚💕

      • Elila, I hoist my coffee cup and my ginger chocolate candies (that I am currently dipping in some yoghurt) in celebration of you and all of us here.
        Here’s to the New Energy Enlightened Women! 💛💙💜💚💕💕

      • Here here to some fucking awesome sistar goddess women! Multidimensional, amazing new earth femmes. Crones at any age.

      • My cinnamon vanilla banana smoothie is raised!! Cheers to all of us fabulous beautiful powerful aware whole pioneers!!!
        💕🌺💕💚💕🌺💕

      • Cheers 🍸 and…..YUMMY!!

    • Hi sweet pea,

      literally every single word could have been written by me

      ” but even before i knew anything about “ascension” the way relationships are in this world just never felt right to me…. even as a little girl i felt that way… especially the relationships most people consider “normal”, none of it felt right to me.
      i feel like most people live their lives having relationships out of all kinds of incompleteness or unconsciousness, and then “who they are” ends up being a reaction to their relationships.i’ve just always felt that strong desire in me to seek wholeness and then let my relationships unfold as a reflection of who i truly am. relationships just don’t make sense to me unless they reflect and honor the truth of my soul:\”

      This is exactly how I have been feeling all my life.
      I have been on this path since the age of 21 (which was 14 years ago) so of course during Ascension I had other things to focus on rather than a relationship, which wouldn’t have been possible anyway, because I didn’t feel ready for something that I would consider a true relationship – sth. not based on neediness and expectations, but on freedom, love and wholeness in oneself. Before that, during adolescence, I never felt ready for a relationship, because I didn’t feel complete. Other people wanted a relationship because they didn’t feel complete. I think that is the major difference between us and them.
      I do have a long distance relationship now, that i enjoy, as it is so without any complications. we have fun together and it does bring some lightheartedness and playfulness into my life. There is no way though that I would want to see him every day or several times a week or even live with him. I still need my sacred space.
      Have a blessed day sweet pea
      Much Love
      Kat

      • good gracious Kat, this gave me chill bumps because you perfectly understand how i feel about relationships and no one everrrr does lol. and it’s so hard for me to try to speak it in words because most people just can’t grasp what i mean so mostly just lost the energy to try to express it ❤ ❤ ❤

        this makes me happy…

        "I do have a long distance relationship now, that i enjoy, as it is so without any complications. we have fun together and it does bring some lightheartedness and playfulness into my life. "

        things like the romance, and the laughter, and the joy… that's what love is about for me! ❤ ❤ ❤ … not someone meeting my daily needs or bearing the struggle with me.

        and this is so me!!!

        "…There is no way though that I would want to see him every day or several times a week or even live with him…"

        our society has these universally accepted steps of how all relationships are meant to confirm, and the "end goal" is always to inter-depend every bit of 2 people's identities into one package that is forced to try to function as two halves of a single unit. i feel like i watch most people spend their entire relationships struggling against each other rather than giving love to each other. :\

        and i actually wholeheartedly crave monogamy and i do believe in the idea that there is one soul i meant to share that kind of love with, but i'll always want my sacred space… i'll always want my individual journey, and for him – whoever he is – to have his sacred space and his individual journey, and for me love is sharing those journeys with each other… i've never felt the need to try to force our journeys to be one in the same.

      • Dear sweet pea,

        This

        “our society has these universally accepted steps of how all relationships are meant to confirm, and the “end goal” is always to inter-depend every bit of 2 people’s identities into one package that is forced to try to function as two halves of a single unit.”

        has always bothered me as well, because I just wouldn’t be able (nor would I want to) function with someone in some kind of interdependent relationship where we meet both our needs because the other one expects it. That always sounded like so much stress to me. Why would I do that if I am happy on my own? I’ve always thought that being happy as a single is the most important prerequisite for a true, fullfilling relationship, because otherwise a relationship will be based on neediness. And just imagining being in that type of “union” makes me cringe and slighty sick to my stomach.

        I did have a soulmate encounter in my life (it happened in 2006 ) but there was absoutely nothing lighthearted or romantic about it. In short (because I could write a book about it) it really pushed me to the brink emotionally and mentally. It was an unapologetic soul love; that’s the best despription of it. I loved his soul, was connected to it, but our personalities didn’t fit and our personal issues prevented us from entering a relationship in the earthly sense (albeit we were the closest 2 people could ever be on a soul level), but that soul connection made me confront deep rooted issues on a constant basis, and believe me, there were several times I thought I won’t survive this. Adding to that, I emotionally helped him sort his crap out (not intentionally, but that was kinda agreed on on a soul level, it’s hard to explain), so that weighed me down even more, and of course the fact we couldn’t be together was devastating. It took me many years even to stop feeling him; to feel his pain (cause that was mostly what he felt) and knowing his thoughts. Thank God this is over, so when I hear Soul Mate, or Twin Flame in this case, I don’t necessarily think of an easy going and fun relationship haha 😀

        The guy I am seeing now is cute and funny, lately he showed signs of neediness, but I can still handle it,, lol. Emotionally there is absolutey no similarity to my twin flame, I wouldn’t even say that I am in love with him (I doubt I can fall in love again after that TF love, maybe I don’t want to anymore, because it was so bloody intense), but I do feel comfortable with him, we have fun, he is attractive and I like him very much.
        Oh and I never ever planned that relationship (because I was never type to look for one) and it just evolved naturally.
        Sorry for writing that much, but maybe you’ll find it helpful
        Much Love ❤

      • hey Kat,

        oh not too much at all, i actually totally relate. ❤ ❤ ❤

        what you say about that type of union making you cringe… saaaame here. ❤ i kinda laugh at how much time i spent in my head trying to figure how to fit myself into that kind of union… like i've literally spent hours of my life agonizing about "how i'll deal with it when i have to be in that kind of relationship"… it took me a long minute to realize… you don't ever have to be in that relationship silly! haha, so funny.

        and for the guy you're dating now, ok haha, i understand 🙂 i still think i like the idea of it as someone who blesses your life and not burdens it if that makes sense?

        and the twin flame stuff, oh heavens, do i get it. my only actual "dating" experience of any kind has been the twin flame mess about. i know what ya mean you could write a book… i would share too, but i would never even be able to describe in relationship terms that make anyyyy kinda sense. just oh my heavens…. hell and back. the beauty i felt in that connection… that intense, passionate, indescribable, to the core of every bit of your being, feeling every beautiful thing you could ever image kinda soul love… that's everything to me that love is. but the mirroring and the pain and the gut wrenching, soul shattering, darkness… no ma'am, never ever again can i experience that kind of darkness. i barely made it out breathing too.

        i can't say i understand how to figure it, but i guess i have this trust in me that that kind of indescribably beautiful love exists somewhere without the dark side of it? you know maybe that until we're whole within ourselves, and until we've shed our shadows, we can't experience that intense beauty without that shadows… like we first have to resonate that powerful of a purely beautiful love within ourselves and for ourselves before we can experience it outside of ourselves with another. i know for sure i'm there yet with how i feel for myself. i think i tip toe around trying to grasp what i could feel for another until then anyways… and because i don't want to carry my old perceptions of relationships forward with me, and i definitely never ever want to seek out that same turmoil again.

        you know i think quite few people have intense karmic mess about relationships that they tend to lump into the "soulmate" idea, but i think that intense soul level, no sanity spared, twin flame stuff is a whole different kind of intense… big hug to you for surviving it ❤

      • sorry! i meant…

        “i know for sure i’m NOT there yet”, haha not even close ❤

  3. Well said, sweet pea. And yes, it sure is warming to have this small, yet awesome community of awakening humans, to enjoy the support and share the love. 👍

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  5. Hi Sweet pea

    “and for the guy you’re dating now, ok haha, i understand:) i still think i like the idea of it as someone who blesses your life and not burdens it if that makes sense?”

    Yeah it makes absolute sense. It is a lovely connection and I like spending time with him, laughing, talking cuddling and sometimes arguing hehe.

    ” my only actual “dating” experience of any kind has been the twin flame mess about”

    hahaha same here , well except the guy now, but before that, only that TF mess, and yes it wasnt really proper dating, that wasn’t possible. You know I think the TF thing made me resilient as hell, I feel I cant get hurt anymore by a relationship with a guy, not even by a friend. It really did make my skin thicker regarding relationships.

    “the beauty i felt in that connection… that intense, passionate, indescribable, to the core of every bit of your being, feeling every beautiful thing you could ever image kinda soul love”

    Yes it was divine in the true sense of the word. That was pure lov. I agree with that, too. It was absolute hell as well though. I didn’t know that that kind of pain was even possible.

    “i can’t say i understand how to figure it, but i guess i have this trust in me that that kind of indescribably beautiful love exists somewhere without the dark side of it? you know maybe that until we’re whole within ourselves, and until we’ve shed our shadows, we can’t experience that intense beauty without that shadows… like we first have to resonate that powerful of a purely beautiful love within ourselves and for ourselves before we can experience it outside of ourselves with another. ”

    That’s what I kept thinking while I was still entangled in that TF thing. I knew straight from the start, that we weren’t ready for each other then. I always hoped, that we would be together once we sort out our separate issues. I couldn’t even bear the thought that we maybe won’t be together, after clearing ourselves. So I know what you mean. I haven’t been thinking about that for a while now, probably because my heart ain’t ready for anything “real” yet and because I have been so content and happy on my own.

    “twin flame stuff is a whole different kind of intense… big hug to you for surviving it❤”

    Same to you 😀

    It’s so uncanny how all our experiences are so alike, isn’ it

  6. “…It’s so uncanny how all our experiences are so alike, isn’ it…”

    gosh i know. to spend your whole life experiencing things no one would ever understand, finding others who so perfectly understand is pretty special.

  7. Elila i feel the same way. so grateful for the things shared here ❤

    i think we're probably all quite a bit different in terms of our human personalities and circumstances, but gosh i feel such kindred spiritual energy with what y'all share it surpasses any differences there might could be. pretty much everything i read here could've come from my own head, or i at least totally get the place it comes from.

    ya know as being someone "chronologically after" most people on this path, from how it's been for me, i wouldn't say was any smoother if it helps haha… i've always felt like i sorta came into this world already in a phase of this process that most people describe they didn't go into until they were grown. even though i didn't come to know what "ascension" was until right after high school, i can't really remember a time when i wasn't deeply experiencing it. i had the heavy childhood like so many others, but i feel like i experienced that heaviness on a crazy deep spiritual level…. i remember having all kinds of stress about things like infinity and religion and how women are treated, at like 6 years old lol. i can't honestly say i ever really remember a time that i've felt truly happy or at peace because the human experience has always felt pretty unbearable to my spirit. so that "forgetting" Maria describes… i think i would say i never had that experience of just being innocently human :\ i've always felt like this place is way too harsh, and i just want to "go back home".

    Elila, what you mention about how you felt in relationships with the other person usually trying to "get" something from you… especially when it came to sex…that's honestly one of the most significant things that's kept me out of relationships. i've always felt so so differently about intimacy than what i see in this world, like i never could view sex as anything but an incredibly spiritual experience… everytime. i've never really been able to speak it in words, but what most people consider as "normal" has just never felt right to my soul. i explained it to someone once that i feel like most people, even in committed relationships, have "casual" sex… like it's a habit or routine, or this totally regular thing they do together like going out to dinner or renting a movie… i could never experience like it… and going back to what you say…. the idea of someone "expecting" that from me, from my spirit and my body, no way, no ma'am, i couldn't ever be that way. and my limited experience with intimacy was in such an extremely chaotic intense connection that i've never been through that "normal relationship" type of experience with it. it's a weird place because i can't see myself in a intimate connection ever again until i find that "higher" intimacy that i can't even explain.

    sorry for rambling so much lately! y'all have inspired a lot of things to come out haha 🙂

    • Ooooooooh my goodness sweet pea you just wrote whats in my head again!!! I feel EXACTLY the same way about how sex is “done” now. It seems so demeaning to participants and frankly, OUTDATED is the best word i can use at this point to describe how it feels and appears to me. I just have no desire to backtrack into that energy. It seems archaic and sort of crass, if that makes sense?
      Also, i was just thinking before i read your comment that i hoped the younger gals had it at least a wee bit easier than some of us of an earlier generation–but it sounds like maybe not? I wish that were different!
      I too have never felt i got to be just innocently human–its always always felt super heavy here & i cant recall a time where i didnt feel a kind of “homesickness”, like what you describe. I think part of whats happening here is that “home” is sort of coming to us! We get to “go home” and stay here at the same time, and experience this planet in an entirely new way.
      And ME TOO–i can never see myself in an intimate relationship again unless its the “higher intimacy that i cant even explain”. Thats precisely it.
      And you are not rambling–if its coming out its for a good reason!
      💚

  8. hey Elila,

    i wish we’d been given it a bit easier too haha 🙂 i’ve pretty much been in full blown ascension hell for 6 or 7 years(i’m 25 now). i know it can’t in any way compare to those who’ve been through this mess about for 10, 15, 20 plus years and so on, but that 6 or 7 years has sure felt like 20 years. i definitely haven’t spent my 20’s so far at sorority parties or dancing up in the clubs 🙂 i’ve been too busy physically falling apart with ascension sickness and processing collective darkness with y’all lol. that’s why i tend to not mention age because i think we all get each other’s journeys in a way to where age just isn’t relevant. i also think it seems the women i connect with on this path all usually have far younger spirits then their chronological age anyways. 🙂

    and yes! perfectly worded!

    ” It seems so demeaning to participants and frankly, OUTDATED is the best word i can use at this point to describe how it feels and appears to me. I just have no desire to backtrack into that energy. It seems archaic and sort of crass, if that makes sense?”

    that’s EXACTLY how i feel! for so long i thought it was something wrong with me i needed to fix. more and more i know it’s how my soul feels and i just can’t feel any other way.

    big hug to you, i swear we feel so many things so so alike ❤

    • Sweet pea u r the first person ever to understand what i mean about 3D sex! Ive really only tried to describe it once or twice before and it fell flat lol.
      Hugging you back sweet sister
      😊💕

    • You two aren’t the only ones with your thoughts about sex. Same here, and that is also the reason why I haven’t slept with the guy I m seeing yet, because it just doesn’ feel right, and yeah we’ve been seeing each other for 1,5 years now. I’m not even interested in him penetrating me (sorry for being blunt here lol)

    • lol Kat, that pretty much sums up how awkward and empty the whole idea of it feels to me :\

      and Elila same here, i’ve never ever found anyone who understood!

      i just don’t have any want to ever have anything else to do with the concept of sex as i’ve observed it or known it to be. that sounds so weird lol, but i guess i just feel like there has to be some brand new version of it that my imagination just can’t quite grasp yet.

      • Oh my gosh Kat i know exactly what you mean!!! I have not a shred of interest either. And its been that way for many years.
        Sweet pea–that whole last paragraph there i could have written myself …..
        Word. For. WORD!!! I have actually said those EXACT words out loud!
        This is so amazing that you both feel the same way–im blown away, and kind of relieved im not the only one? Wow!

      • I perfectly understand sweet pea, I like cuddling (not too much though, need my space as well) but just lying next to him is satisfying, because his energy calms me down so much and is so warm and cuddly (awww lol). That’s all I want.

        Elila:
        The whole idea of intercourse feels so invasise to me. I mean it literally is an invasion lol, but I can’t see anything positive in it to be honest. I just don’t want anyone physically coming into my body. That’s all lol

      • hey Kat,

        that makes perfect sense. affection, hand holding, cuddling… that stuff’s beautiful to me. ❤ not sure if this will make sense, but i think that stuff is just pure, honest, shared energy? no one is doing anything to you, or using your body to get something for themself… they're just feeling your energy and enjoying how it feels. like two whole beings radiating energy to each other with no agenda other than to be near each other.

        i think sex seems just like how you say… invasive. instead of someone feeling your energy, they're disrupting it? and as much as people speak of sex as being a form of connection, 3D sex doesn't seem that way to me at all, it's more people using someone else to fulfill a selfish "need". and it's always felt so weird to me that once you "love" someone, they have a right to have an expectation of your body in that way. like a service you agree to provide, and in really unnatural amounts! like you're not just allowed to feel what you feel and be intimate when if or when it feels right… it's an expected commodity. and the way most people in long term relationships do it so casually, regularly, habitually… it's just so so weird to me! ew! haha

        i really just can't figure how to speak it, but i feel like somewhere in the universe there is this whole new version of "sex" that's an incredibly spiritual experience that truly is a connection. maybe more like that pure, shared energy you feel with cuddling and hand holding, but in the form of a more intense interaction like intercourse is… but without the negative stuff like the invasion, or the"need" and selfishness, or the pedestrian physical habit of it all. again, i feel like i can't grasp how it could be yet, but i just know i have no want for anything less :\

  9. Wow Kat & sweet pea–
    I feel exactly the same about everything you just said. Ive always felt like the cuddling and handholding were the good stuff, but quickly realized that you cant do much of it without being expected to provide sex. And yes it feels super invasive! I had a lovely relationship with a boy when i was in high school and college. When we began having sex it ruined everything. Suddenly intercourse was the ONLY thing on his radar LOL. Sweet pea i love how you point out that the cuddling etc is the SHARED energy–i hadnt thought of that and its true. I feel like intimacy is first and foremost intented to be a sharing (not a TAKING) of ENERGY. Whatever it is in the future that we cant see yet, im sure it looks much more like your description sweet pea. Theres a scene in an old movie called Cocoon, the “love” scene, where Tawny Welches character “shares herself” with Steve Guttenbergs character. That “love scene” has always resonated with me somehow, certainly moreso than any of the other ridiculousness i see passed off as “romance” or “love” or “intimacy” in mass media.
    Sweet pea i think your description of what it might look like in the future feels right on. And dang i love how you pointed out that 3D sex seems to be a disruption (almost a “feeding” dare i say?) of energy as opposed to a sharing. Another great observation i completely agree with.
    💚💕💚

    • Elila, how you describe what happened in your relationship is pretty much the way it goes it seems huh lol… the whole experience of 3d sex and the relationships that surround it just all feels like such lower vibrational energy that’s tied into so much selfishness, and yes “feeding” like you say… and just so so many other things that don’t feel right. i think what we ache for is intimacy that takes us into our highest vibration, and relationships in general that allow us and inspire us to be our highest selves. we can’t always explain it cause we’ve never seen it here, but i would like to hope that part of why we’re here is to help believe all that stuff into being. :\

      i haven’t seen that movie, but it makes me curious to watch it haha 🙂

      such a comfort to talk to y’all about this ❤ kinda just a lil' nudge to keep trusting the things i feel and not to let the world around me convince me what i hope for isn't real.

      • I must say I don’t know whether I generally don’t want intercourse, or whether it’s just with him that I only want cuddling, kissing and o penetration.I generally think sex is massively overrated and I never understood why people (and society) obsess so much over it. It’s not that wonderful in most cases (I presume); I’d take food over sex any day haha

      • Sweet pea i feel the same about this discussion being a comfort. Its strengthened my resolve & comfidence, so that i too can ignore the anti-optimism of the world a bit better, and stand with you “believing it into being”.
        😊💕😊💕😊

  10. *no penetration

  11. Oh Kat!
    Lady if i had a dollar for every time i thought jeesh id rather have a great meal than sex–i could buy us all a week in the Bahamas LOL LOL.
    And i have always thought it was overrated. And i think im old enough and have had enough of it that id say your presumption was pretty accurate 😄😄😄

  12. I feel like you ladies might enjoy this interview with this very interesting woman. I sure did

    • hey Kat,

      she’s interesting for sure. i can relate to the loss of ownership over my body through abuse. i was much younger than her and i went the opposite way and became all kinds of shy about boys and totally chaste because of it, but i understand that shame and that approval she was seeking. even though i didn’t act it out in the same way, i know i still have always felt like i’m supposed to seek that approval from men.

      honestly though, i think every woman understands it? even if women aren’t sexually abused, i think it’s hard for any woman to feel she has ownership over her body or that she isn’t supposed to earn that “approval”. our society is so focused on women’s bodies and judging them and talking about them and exploiting them and comparing them and measuring our value through them… it’s kinda impossible to just to be in female form and feel safe or worthy because our bodies are so objectified and totally seen as separate from our spirits. and not really any way to get away from it. if we’re not considered “beautiful”, we’re unworthy and not valued, if we are considered “beautiful”, then we’re objectified or resented. i so crave a world where women can all just embody their own unique beautiful, but without having beauty mean we have to be part of all that negative energy.

      Elila, you know you and i have shared before about craving our own soul’s beauty in physical form… i’ve struggled so so much with my health through this ascension stuff, and i think there is a part of me that blocks my own health because healthy = beautiful for me, and beautiful means having to play into that lower sexuality or that competition between women. :\ i think for my body to heal my soul is seeking a way to manifest that beauty without going backwards into and of that old energy i want to leave behind forever.

      i do struggle with what she shares though in that she says it was a man that saved her and that it was his unconditional love she was missing… so she is still dependent on how a man feels about her to feel loved and accepted. she still hasn’t found self-love and acceptance from within :\ with what she’s been through i’m sure she’s in a much better place than she ever thought she could be so that’s beautiful. for myself i truly want to get to a place where that self-love isn’t dependent on anyone else’s acceptance or rejection either way. i’m not there yet, but i know i wont be “me” until i find that.

      • “i do struggle with what she shares though in that she says it was a man that saved her and that it was his unconditional love she was missing… so she is still dependent on how a man feels about her to feel loved and accepted. she still hasn’t found self-love and acceptance from within:\ with what she’s been through i’m sure she’s in a much better place than she ever thought she could be so that’s beautiful. for myself i truly want to get to a place where that self-love isn’t dependent on anyone else’s acceptance or rejection either way. ”

        My thoughts exactly.
        I can say, that I never really needed too much approval from the outside. It did hurt when there was abuse (physical or emotional), but even as a kid, I knew that my path is to be whole in myself and I never went down the approval seeking path. I was bullied as well, but unlike other kids I didn’t feel I was worthless. I always kept my feeling of self worth; which saved me going through that Twin Flame mess and the Ascension process. I do totally get what you are saying though: it is everywhere, the female body is constantly being looked at, critisised, idolised, condemned and what not by society. And not only the body; how the woman behaves is also under constant scrutiny and judgement: if she is sexually active, she is a whore, if she isn’t, she is prude; if she is strong, she is a butch, if she is soft she is a wallflower. And don’t start me on the term “feminazi” , I could freak out when idiots use that (usually to describe a woman who knows what she wants and doesn’t make excuses). I know men suffer from judgments as well, but I think women have it much harder.

        “women especially because being a wife and mother takes importance over who they are just as a woman.:\ that loss of identity to play a role is why i’ve always known that path just wasn’t for me.”

        Absolutely. These roles don’t fit me and feel very restrictive. Thankfully we both know we don’t wanna play these roles. I know someone who played along and is now a wife and mother, stuck in an unhappy marriage at 33. She more or less got pushed into it by her parents. I am really thankful I am not like that.
        Just

    • oh gosh, and one more thing too Kat! i’m totally writing a book haha, but this was actually the first thing that hit me from video before i started rambling about all that other mess lol… but how she speaks of most women blindly playing those roles as wives and mothers, and that she saw her marriage as giving her an identity that protected her from the person she was ashamed of being in her past… i’ve kinda feel like that’s exactly what most people do with marriage… they use it as a path to blindly play a role and most people lose their individual spirit along the way… women especially because being a wife and mother takes importance over who they are just as a woman. :\ that loss of identity to play a role is why i’ve always known that path just wasn’t for me.

    • goodness Kat, this is such a breath of fresh air to read…

      “…I can say, that I never really needed too much approval from the outside. It did hurt when there was abuse (physical or emotional), but even as a kid, I knew that my path is to be whole in myself and I never went down the approval seeking path. I was bullied as well, but unlike other kids I didn’t feel I was worthless. I always kept my feeling of self worth…”

      i’ve always carried that burden of unworthiness, and i just realized reading back all that ramble i wrote that i just assume all women carry same burden! kinda an a-ha moment for me reading your words to realize that not all women carry that same unworthiness! ❤ since i've stumbled here, your energy has always come through as a strong energy, a confidence. i think i just assumed it was an energy you earned through your journey, and i'm sure it's been strengthened along the way, but the idea that you've also had that sense of self-worth as something innate in you actually gives me chill bumps ❤ haha i know that sounds silly, but i am so so passionately seeking that internal approval, so it lights me up a bit to hear. a lack of need for external approval, a genuine self-worth, it's one of the most magical qualities someone can have to me. not only do i ache to feel that within myself self, but i ache to be surrounded by others who have that within themselves. thank you for sharing that, a lil' bit of a spark of hope for me ❤

      • ” your energy has always come through as a strong energy, a confidence. i think i just assumed it was an energy you earned through your journey”

        You are right. The Ascension process definitely did strengthen me a lot, but the feeling that I am worthy in my own right, no matter how imperfect I am to other people was always there.

        ” thank you for sharing that, a lil’ bit of a spark of hope for me❤”

        And thank you for saying this. It brought a smile to my face 🙂

        I am absolutely certain, you will find your innate sense of worthiness. No doubt about that.

        Much much LOVE to you sweet pea ❤

      • the idea of it is heaven to me…

        “… innate sense of worthiness…”

        much love to you too Kat ❤ ❤ ❤

  13. Wow ladies this is uncanny–i had already watched this vid days ago before i popped back here today! And i had the very same thoughts and reactions as you two. I winced when she said the man saved her. Obviously its been good for her, but i want to save myself.
    Sweet pea i have had the very same struggle with my health and weight through all this, and i have also wondered if somehow subconsciously its a block to health and beauty/attractiveness to keep me sort of “off the market” or quell unwanted attention. Although a few years back in Florida i was at my peak of health & attractiveness & had no problem staying out of that whole arena so idk. Im just not interested regardless of my weight or appearance. I joked to a friend recently that when i was skinny and pretty the guys who hit on me were mostly old & creepy. Now that im not skinny or attractive by society’s standards, the guys who hit on me are mostly…..
    Old and creepy. So. Not much has changed LOL 😜
    Oh and sweet pea–kat is right. I didnt grow up with an innate sense of worthiness either, and while i envy you Kat for having that always, it just wasnt there for me. Until now. Its growing by leaps and bounds in me and it IS divine. Sweet pea i promise it is coming for you too!
    Love to you both 💙💙💙

    PS. Just to throw this out there, it really bugs me when women are labeled “sexy”. I do not consider this a compliment at all. The LAST thing i want to be called or considered is “sexy”. Just yuck.
    Now “sensual” or “sensuous”– i can get down with those!

  14. (Oh and all my life being “sensitive” was a label slapped on me as a very bad thing to be. Now i OWN that descriptor most proudly & treasure that trait in myself!
    😊💕)

  15. Elila & Kat ❤

    i'm just so so happy i wandered here. yes i'm not there, but i think i do feel that sense that i'll find it. the universe is giving me these breadcrumbs along the way guiding me there ❤ after reading what Kat wrote the other night i've just felt this new sorta comfort and trust about it all the past few days? i just really never realized how much i've been so consumed by and surrounded by that unworthiness that i couldn't see through to the other side that it really isn't how i have to be. it was truly like a light shining through when i started to think about it ❤ ❤ ❤ i guess i can describe it as that i feel a bit curious about what's possible all a sudden?

    and Elila, oh goodness i feel ya on the sensitive stuff. one of my favrit' quotes ever…

    “Being tender and open is beautiful. Don’t let someone steal your tenderness. Don’t allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart. Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to truly be affected by things.”

    ❤ ❤ ❤ big hugs to both of y'all

  16. Sweet pea–yep i have been getting breadcrumbs & glimpses along the way too. Now im to the point where its more like a decent meal, and looking forward to all out feasting haha.
    And what a lovely quote–thank you so much for sharing it.
    Hugs back 💙💙💙

  17. PS -i think “sensitive” kinda goes hand in hand with “sensuous” or “sensual”. I mean, can a person BE truly sensual or sensuous WITHOUT being sensitive??

    • Elila i totally agree. when you’re sensitive you just really feel things deeply within you, so whether it’s passion and sensuality, or integrity and purity, i think you can just carry those beautiful, more rich and intense energies. ❤ and ps i feel ya on the "sexy" thing :\ ew lol.

    • “can a person BE truly sensual or sensuous WITHOUT being sensitive??”

      My bf is extremely sensuous, I actually never met someone who is as sensuous as him. But I wouldn’t exactly call him sensitive in every aspect of his being? Sometimes he really is a little slow and insensivite when it comes to other people’s feelings. His sensitivity probably focuses on more “earthly” matters, like good food, touch, nice colours and beautiful things in general, and not so much on emotions.

  18. Thank you for this, Maria. I’m right on the very tip… teetering back and forth between craving a partner and being 100% happy alone. Physical affection (not sex) is what I think I miss most. In the last year i’ve lost 2 uncles, both my 14 year old dogs, ended a 5 year relationship and I lost my mother in November. Its been a tremendous time of pain, growth, joy, magic, synchronicity and development. So glad I found your blog. Thanks for all you do ❤

    • Beth, my goodness…you have been through it!! A lot to deal with in one short year…but something tells me you have been preparing yourself on a soul level a very, very long time, for the changes you are going through. I lost my mom decades ago, and I had buried my emotions for almost that long, until recently when I looked at an old photo of her, and all the emotions came forth. I finally gave myself permission to feel everything that was so deeply buried. It’s good you are allowing yourself to feel all of those emotions. That in itself is healing. But you know that. And, you also know that our mothers are still very much here. And they are now able to connect with us in even a more clear way, without their human personalities getting in the way. They are cheering us on for being courageous enough to create a new template of an enlightened woman. 💜💙💛💚

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