Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Our Ascension: Making It Real

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There’s no rush to get through our ascension, but sometimes we feel stuck and want to make it more real.  In this video I explain ways to do just that.

copyright © 2016, Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, your Facebook page, etc, but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

 

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Six years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

66 thoughts on “Our Ascension: Making It Real

  1. Thank you…I needed. To hear this. Blessings! Love & Light! <3<3<3<3

  2. Totally, completely relate!

  3. Getting totally stuck on a) allow don’t push b) making the leap and c) reverting to old ways. I know I’ll get it (eventually) but it’s so darn frustrating and I am so ready for the cool/fun part already! Ugh.

    • Yes, naomi, it sure can be frustrating! And you speak for so many of us who are so ready for the fun part…it takes a bold individual to decide to feel into what they want to feel, despite their circumstances, and to trust that then life responds to THAT feeling the more it is practiced. 💕💕💕

    • “it’s so darn frustrating and I am so ready for the cool/fun part already! Ugh.”

      Same here. That seems to be a common feeling among the the Ascension pioneer crowd. I kinda have the feeling that we are before a major breakthrough, not only personal but a collective one and I am sure once the personal breakthroughs start (and Maria’s tips in the video could be one way to activate them) it wil result in a collective one.

  4. This was such a beautiful message, thank you Maria!! 💞💚💞

  5. Maria, thank you for your video. Some very interesting thoughts you have there. Maybe we need to practice feeling good a bit more, in order to attract that feeling permanently? Do you think we are so used to being in a challening emotional state (by clearing all our past issues) that we forgot how to feel good anymore on a more permanent basis? Cause that’s what I think right now.
    I will definitely try to do what you suggested in your video once my sadness wears off (yesterday someone close to my heart died). I have tried it already but it doesn’t work at all at the minute, which is I think understandable.
    Much LOVE
    Kat

    • Dear Kat,
      I wanted to share this with you with heartfelt sympathy during this time of sorrow…..
      Change is constant,
      and loss is such a painful change,
      but Spirit is constant as well~
      SURVIVING
      ADJUSTING
      GROWING,
      EMBRACING LIFE AGAIN

      BIG (((((HUGS))))))) 💞

      Annette

    • Kat, it’s good you are allowing yourself the sadness, especially related to a loss like the one you mention. To answer your question, yes you’re right. We are very used to responding to life from the old, conditioned human way….so it’ll take some time to get used to our soul’s perspective on things, which is from a place of joy and care freeness. You probably already notice that you default to joy more than you have in the past, and are less apt to compromjse that position than before. Sometimes its damned hard to see our own progress. Big hugs and love to you!💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

    • Lovely Kat–
      I can hardly believe this–someone close to MY heart died on Friday & i was notified yesterday, and i have the same thought as you about waiting for the sadness to wear off–it feels so heavy at the moment but i can also detect a tiny amount of dissipation even this soon…
      I’m sending you soothing hugs & much love 💙💙💙

      • Thank you Elila ❤
        I am sending you hugs and love, too.
        I still feel a bit sad now, but less than yesterday.
        Ironically enough, I remember writing here the other day (my rant under the article "What? more resistance?) that I am demanding change now. I want things to move and I don't mean heartbreaking change like someone I know and love dying – and what happened? Lol.
        I must say though that it wasn't that surprising either, the man reached a high age, but it still hurts.
        Still, I am ready for the good times now!
        Much LOVE
        Kat

  6. Kat,
    I feel exactly the same. I mean we were all just talking about “no more sledgehammers!” and wham! down comes another one. My craving for something wonderful to happen is SOOO intense & needed—losing a close friend who brightened my days here in a place im not thrilled to be–well thats not what i had in mind at all. He was also an older gentleman, and it wasnt a total surprise rationally, but still a shock to my heart.
    Each day i can feel little bits of the heaviness lifting, and my heart and head are slowly wrapping around the idea that he is gone, but its hard, and the looooonging for some taste of wonderfulness–well it feels like ive been wanderig the desert without water for far far too long. Im ready for the good times too!!! Bring it!!!!

    • ” the looooonging for some taste of wonderfulness–well it feels like ive been wanderig the desert without water for far far too long. Im ready for the good times too!!! Bring it!!!!”

      Spot on again Elila. Maybe it is the passing of this fine gentleman and the accompanying sadness, that makes it harder to imagine that wonderfulness that I also long so much, although it is easier today than yesterday.
      I just now had a beautiful sense of peace and serenity inside of me coming up spontaneously, maybe as a sign, that it is closer than I think. Still, it would be nice if I could create a new passion, something I can follow and am enthusiastic about, because frankly, except good food, there is not much I’ve been enthusiastic about haha. Apathy has been accompanying me for a long time, it might be the so called void but I wonder if the void can last that long?
      I know that the Ascnesion process can’t be measured in months and years and it is individually different, but feeling a bit more excited about things in general would help. And that is hard to practice (and attract) either when I mostly forgot how that feeling even feels like.
      Much LOVE ❤

      • Aaaah once again Kat we are feeling very much the same, and you have put it into words better than im able to right now. I so feel the same way–longing to be excited or enthusiastic about SOMETHING (other than food, which is pretty much all thats left for me too!), and not even remembering what it feels like because it feels so very distant, like it was a different life and a different person. I have such a difficult time trying to “feel into” those feelings, and then it feels like a lot of efforting in vain, & then i wonder gee am i screwed here? LOL. And then im grateful for the apathy because if i cared any more than this it would be truly unbearable. Cant we have a few delights thrown into the mix to keep us waking up each day? I mean cmon Universe, throw a girl a bone once in awhile???
        Sending you love Kat–somehow i know even in this state that we will break through to what we long for! I honestly dont know what i would do without you and our little family here. And i too am seeing that each day the grief is a wee bit easier.

        And dear Maria–bon voyage & happy rebooting! I’ll miss you terribly but am delighted for your adventure. Will be waiting with open arms for your refreshed return!
        💚🌴🐸🌴💚

        • Elila
          Thank you! I’ll miss you and the rest of the irreverent ascension ‘gang’ here too…aww now I’m getting faklempt!! But please, continue to tawlk amongst yourselves….that way your beautiful energies continuing blessing the place!! and enjoy the summer… 💜💙💛💚

  7. @Maria:

    I wish you an absolutely wonderful break. May you be fullfilled with wonderful experiences and adventures. I will miss you dearly until you come back 🙂 ❤

    @Elila: " I have such a difficult time trying to “feel into” those feelings, and then it feels like a lot of efforting in vain"

    Yeah that's it. I can't and don't really want to make any effort anymore. It doesn't work and it also doesn't feel right to me. And yeah apathy is so omnipresent, not in a depressive kind of way though, but neutral. I can't say I'm depressed in any way, most of the time I am actually fairly satisfied, apart from that strong wish for excitement, which has been growing and growing. Don't know if that makes sense to you, it all seems so confusing when I see it written here, but it makes sense to me lol.

    "somehow i know even in this state that we will break through to what we long for"

    I know that, too. I think we are maybe being impatient again (understandably). I am sure we'll all get to that wonderful life we so deserve.

    " I honestly dont know what i would do without you and our little family here"

    Absolutely the same here. You are all my anchor in these turbulent times (cause they are still turbulent in a way despite the apathy and generally nothing really happening :D) and I always can't wait to check your replies after I've written something, because it soothes me and it opens my eyes at the same time. Priceless!
    Much LOVE

    • Kat & Elila big hugs to you both for your losses… Kat i totally thought about how you had just written about not wanting something of that exact awful sort to happen, and then it does. good gracious 😦 so sorry ❤

      and yup u both so perfectly speak right where i'm at….

      "…I have such a difficult time trying to “feel into” those feelings, and then it feels like a lot of efforting in vain…"

      and

      "…I can't and don't really want to make any effort anymore. It doesn't work and it also doesn't feel right to me. And yeah apathy is so omnipresent, not in a depressive kind of way though, but neutral…"

      and Kat you touched on a bit specifically what it feels like for me… i feel like i've been in a mind-numbing channeling emotional state of sorting through layers of recycled yuck for so long and i've just kinda forgotten how to feel anything magical and good :\. i feel completely stagnant in an empty thinking headspace kinda place with not much connection to the inspired feeling heartspace kinda place. and i haaaaaaaate it lol. i'm so over the old thoughts and thinking, and i so crave the feelings of magic so so much ❤ and what's so frustrating about it all is that i feel super strongly that i'm truly done with that role of channeling and sorting and processing and carrying that old energy, but in the very same breath it feels completely inauthentic to try to intention or effort my way out it. :\ i'm sorta just accepting the apathy as it is and trusting that it's temporary, and allowing this old way of being to shed off me as it's meant to :\

      and yup i feel the same way as all y'all… love love love having this place to feel connected and understood.

      we'll misssss you Maria, hope you have a beautiful, peaceful, perfect walkabout ❤ ❤ ❤

  8. Kat–
    You make so much sense to me its astonishing–bcuz you are saying all the same things im thinking too. I cant effort either–it doesnt work and doesnt feel right at all! And the apathy isnt depressive fr me either, just neutral like you said. I cant say any of this better–just a big “me too!”
    And yes this site and you and everyone here is like my mooring ball–where i come back again and again to anchor & strengthen & feel connected & understood & gain insight & clarity–im always checking the comments too!!! For the same reasons you state.
    I saw these 3 little girls in the park recently. The couple they were with told them something and they were all stunned for a moment looking back and forth at each other with mouthes agape, and then giant smiles broke across their faces & they all started jumping up and down and shrieking and hugging one another. I have no idea what they were told, but i stood there in awe thinking I WANT TO FEEL THAT. I dont remember the last time something made me feel that kind of joy, and i WANT it !!! More every day. Something magical and good (like sweet pea says) and for the love of pete–PLEASANT!!!
    And speaking of you, sweet pea, thank you for the comforting hugs–im hugging back 💙. I am right with you on the whole sorting and analyzing gig–lately i have had some REALLY intense resistance to all the excavating & processing. Im finding i dont want to look back any more for clarity. I want to go forward! The past is getting sort of annoying in a way i dont know how to describe yet. And yes, stagnant and uninspired are my (frustrating) feelings too, and really amp up my desire for magic and delight–which is pehaps their purpose in the first place? Idk. But i DO know that the dialogue here unequivocallyp helps me feel better. Period.
    Aaaaaand, same as you say, the intentioning and efforting totally does feel inauthentic and just not right! Or effective for that matter. My attitude is much like yours, just trying to be patient enough for it to slough off on its own, and expose “new skin” so to speak?
    Love to you both Kat & sweet pea, cuz i appreciate you and frankly y’all rock! 💜💕💜💕💜

    • oh gosh yes Elila, that pure and innocent inspired joy those little girls had. ❤ ❤ ❤ im so craving to just feel beautiful pure things… pure inspiration, pure faith, pure passion, pure love, pure self-love, pure trust, pure excitement, pure peace, pure freedom ❤ ❤ ❤

      i guess i feel i can't seem to get to a place where i feel those things because everywhere new that i try to go to is blocked by all kinds of problem solving to get there, and everything new that i try to feel my way to feels tainted by all kinds of disappointment and doubt. any problem solving attempts don't seem to get me anywhere because like most people on this path, the problems and challenges i've faced really have no human level solutions. and trying to feel my way somewhere new just doesn't feel authentic because simply put, not much of anything i've ever known in this world really feels that good :\ other than chocolate and cupcakes haha, this human experience really has been mostly a mix of gut wrenching suffering, or even it if not suffering, still not ever feeling "right" or good.

      so when you say this…

      " I dont remember the last time something made me feel that kind of joy"

      the first thing i think is that i don't remember it because the things i crave to feel are things i've just never known in this world.

      it's a bit hard for me to speak it in words, but i feel like every part of me that my mind is conscious of is too filled with the heavy of my journey in this world for any real change to happen there, so i guess i'm craving a shift in my soul in some place i'm not in control of or even aware of, a place in my soul that isn't tainted by my experience in this world, the part of my soul that knows who i truly am beyond this person my human experiences have confused me into thinking i have to be. i guess that's why the surrender is kinda all i have left. ❤

    • Elila and sweet pea,

      I totally know what you mean. It would be so wonderful to be anchored in positive feelings for a change: excitement, magic, yearning (I don’t even remember what that feels like, I just know I used to love it), adventure. I don’t feel like there is much I can do about it though.

      ” i guess that’s why the surrender is kinda all i have left”

      I had the feeling from the beginning of this process that surrender is basically all I can do. There was not really much else, and as I am a natural born doer, someone who doesn’t need a kick in their butt to go and get things done, that was really really hard for me, not only because I had to lay back and let the universe or my soul or whoever take over the course of my life, it was the unexplainable knowledge that even my soul doesnt know where he/she is going, but that the only thing I can do is let him/her take over. Yes, there was an inner knowing that all will be well, but not much more than that. Interests, passions, likes and wants vanished and didn’t really get replaced with something new yet and that can get boring.

      Sometimes I think, well after all there is something you can give me dear universe, at least a new little passion, maybe the will to creatively express this astonishing journey and help other people along the way. But nothing.
      I used to write (scripts for films and childrens’ books) and had many ideas. I openend a file the other day and reread what I’ve written (a story for a what should become a childrens’ book), I really liked it and thought it might be nice to continue and finish the book but had absolutey no will to do it.
      And again, I’m not depressed, I am not even lazy, the passion is just gone, vanished and yes I do think this is somehow senseless. It is great that I have processed so much crap – my own and most probably a lot of other people’s shit – but shouldn’t I reach a state where this whole trip becomes enjoyable? I am not even pitying myself (sometimes the written word sounds different than intended), I am just really wondering and trying to find some sense in it.

      I also do understand that the phase called “void” is very necessary and all but lately I am getting the feeling that being several years in that state is just too much. I’m getting tired of it.

      And like you two, processing and refeeling old negatieve feelings is getting just plain stupid now. It really is enough. But apart from surrendering to the status quo I really see no other solution.

      Have you got any ideas?

      • oh gosh Kat the phrase you used… “lack of will”… yes! perfectly captures how i feel about evvvvverything 😦 and haaaaate it so much 😦 i do have a full time job, and i have stuff that i have to do every day for my health, and honestly that all takes up most of my day, so it does take “effort”, but i wouldn’t say i have “the will” to do those things. i do them out of necessity, just goin’ through the motions for survival, and really i’m just treading water with it all. when it comes to anything that could truly change things for me… no kinda will in me at all. and honestly if i try to just override my lack of will and put effort to those things(which i have done many times over because i’m so tired and frustrated with this awful stuck place i’m in), the effort doesn’t go anywhere. so my lack of will is backed up with no bit of good coming from the effort. :\

        the worst feeling that’s come from this all is the feeling i’ve had so much lately with the lack of will to even hope or dream. gosh Kat just these words you wrote gave me chill bumps…

        “excitement, magic, yearning (I don’t even remember what that feels like, I just know I used to love it)”

        i used to loooove that feeling of “yearning”. even if what i was yearning for was unknown and intangible, at least i had a hope for it and a belief in it and an actual “feeling” for it. ❤

        i wish i had ideas lol. i'm pretty much just in such the same place you are so surrender is all i got too :/

      • oops sorry, “no will to do it” is the phrase i meant lol 🙂

        but yes that’s the word… “will”… it just feels gone for everything anymore :\

  9. “i used to loooove that feeling of “yearning”. even if what i was yearning for was unknown and intangible, at least i had a hope for it and a belief in it and an actual “feeling” for it.❤”

    I actually had goosebumps reading that! That is exactly it. That was the best type of yearning: for something that is out of this world, a special place or really something that I couldnt name because I didnt know what exactly; something intangible is the best way to put it.
    I used to look into the sky at night and get that feeling and absolutely indulge in it.
    When I try to recreate it now it just doesn’t work; I can’t even create a shadow of its former self haha.
    I do understand that we all evolve and that it is a part of my spiritual journey to not have the same emotions I used to when I was younger. But I still believe that this gruelling process should be rewarded with something pleasant.
    Maybe we are just not at the end of it, even if it feels like we are…?

    • yes Kat, chill bumps again! ❤ you know perfectly the feeling i mean…

      "…I used to look into the sky at night and get that feeling and absolutely indulge in it…"

      me too! looking at the stars and feeling it, in moonlight on full moons, and also early in the mornings at dawn before the sun and the rest of the world are up. ❤ ❤ ❤ oh my gosh i missss it. and even though yearning implies a sense of being separate from something, it actually made me feel so so connected. to what not sure… somewhere, someone, something, maybe a magical place or god or heaven or my higher self… it was intangible, but at the same time felt like the most real and true thing i've ever felt. i just know it made this world seem bearable cause it gave me a sense that my life right now is temporary and such beautiful things are to come.

      and same here…

      "…When I try to recreate it now it just doesn’t work; I can’t even create a shadow of its former self …"

      same here. :\ maybe if i'd never known that feeling this world wouldn't be so hard, but it all just feels so void and flat without it. and yeah i guess i hoped that the more i 'evolved' that feeling would grow stronger not disappear?

      and i sure hope so too…

      "Maybe we are just not at the end of it, even if it feels like we are"

  10. Holy moly sweet pea & kat–im like completely overwhelmed in a “me too” moment cuz you guys are doing such a bang up job of describing exactly how i feel too! I want to copy and paste every other paragraph for petessake, starting with this one,

    “…everywhere new that i try to go to is blocked by all kinds of problem solving to get there, and everything new that i try to feel my way to feels tainted by all kinds of disappointment and doubt.”

    That is SO it!!! Just so perfectly expressed. And i also feel like its so not easy to connect with the feelings im longing for now becuz frankly life just hasnt felt that great and the few moments it did are so distant and hazy i cant seem to connect with them, and the fact that they are part of the past makes me not want to focus there anyhow! Im basically longing for something entirely new that ive never experienced, so how does one “feel into” that? I do however think that the desire for it alone is taking me somewhere (at a freakin snails pace), & not just me but all of us & the collective too. All these intense desires for magic and pleasantness add up to something powerful if you ask me! And yep it seems surrender is the only avenue to the sweet shop. 🍫🍰🍪
    To be “anchored into positive feelings for a change”…..ugh just the IDEA of being in a space like that is so deliciously enticing–and seems so out of reach!!!!
    And i too have become completely will-less it seems, but not in a depressed or lazy way–it just IS, and i miss even basic enthusiasm towards something. And it seems pretty ridiculous–i mean it seems to me the process itself would be helped and not hindered by a bit more positivity & energy stemming from some comfort & enjoyment?? Like some bread crumbs to follow at least??? Oy. It seems quite often like the void will never end. I feel y’all. I too believe with all thats left of my heart that this gruelling process should have some sort of pleasant reward(s)!!! To start with i want a life that feels engaging and magical!!!! (As opposed to tedious & draining LOL)
    💙✨💕✨💙

    • yup yup and yup and to everything you wrote Elila, and me tooooo to this so much…

      “…the process itself would be helped and not hindered by a bit more positivity & energy stemming from some comfort & enjoyment..”

      Kat i both shared something here recently with a bit the same of feeling that we understand that there was a phase of this journey where it made sense for us to be stripped down and disconnected to get us to go inward and connect to our spirits, but now we feel like we’ve been stripped down enough to where enough is becoming more than a bit too much :\ i genuinely feel like so many of us have connected to our spirits enough that we can be trusted to grow forward through loving support instead of lack and pain. instead of this version of me that’s sick and tired and weary and apathetically hiding away from the world, wouldn’t a version of me that’s healthy and vibrant and creative and inspired have more purpose and grow me into a more beautiful being? the empty void no longer feels purposeful, it just feels empty. :\

      the 3 of us all do feel such similar things. like we all have a bit of the same stardust in us ❤ ❤ ❤

  11. Elila, what can I say but yes yes yes yes me, too as well 😀

    ““…everywhere new that i try to go to is blocked by all kinds of problem solving to get there, and everything new that i try to feel my way to feels tainted by all kinds of disappointment and doubt.””

    That paragraph from sweet pea’s comment also struck a chord with me. And because of this and this
    “becuz frankly life just hasnt felt that great and the few moments it did are so distant and hazy i cant seem to connect with them, and the fact that they are part of the past makes me not want to focus there anyhow”

    is the reason I could never relate to when someone said “we can choose how we feel”.
    First of all, that sounds to me like I just need to flip the swith and voila I am feeling the way I want to. But isn’t that how drug addicts live? They inject the drug to make themselves feel good. Maybe I am misunderstanding that statement, but still those words never rang true to me.
    And like you said Elila, the great feelings of the past are of the past. I also feel like I said in my previous comment, that I understand that certain feelings (like the yearning) are gone, but it takes a damn long time for the universe or me or whoever to let some fresh, new, beautiful feelings grow,

    @sweet pea:
    “oh my gosh i missss it. and even though yearning implies a sense of being separate from something, it actually made me feel so so connected to what not sure… somewhere, someone, something, maybe a magical place or god or heaven or my higher self… it was intangible, but at the same time felt like the most real and true thing i’ve ever felt.”

    This a thousand times. I also thought how yearning actually is a sign of being disconnected and how not feeling it anymore should be a good sign, but it always felt so good, so real, so magical. Like my home is not in this Earth but on some distant planet, in some distant world.

    @Elila

    ” Im basically longing for something entirely new that ive never experienced, so how does one “feel into” that? I do however think that the desire for it alone is taking me somewhere (at a freakin snails pace), & not just me but all of us & the collective too. All these intense desires for magic and pleasantness add up to something powerful if you ask me! And yep it seems surrender is the only avenue to the sweet shop.”

    That is word for word my sentiment. Snail’s pace for real haha. But yeah I feel there is nothing else but surrender. Maybe the fact that many people feel the way we do will accelerate that process and materialise it quicker? I certainly hope so.

    • such big chill bumps Kat…

      “…This a thousand times. I also thought how yearning actually is a sign of being disconnected and how not feeling it anymore should be a good sign, but it always felt so good, so real, so magical. Like my home is not in this Earth but on some distant planet, in some distant world. …”

      it’s a bit amazing to me that you know so perfectly what i mean ❤ ❤ ❤ since that feeling has left me, at times i feel like i imagined or made it up in my head. if someone else across the world knows that very same feeling, there has to be somethin' real to it i hope. ❤

  12. “…i genuinely feel like so many of us have connected to our spirits enough that we can be trusted to grow forward through loving support instead of lack and pain. instead of this version of me that’s sick and tired and weary and apathetically hiding away from the world, wouldn’t a version of me that’s healthy and vibrant and creative and inspired have more purpose and grow me into a more beautiful being? the empty void no longer feels purposeful, it just feels empty.”
    Sweet pea again this is exactly it. I would also add that it feels STUPID! Lol. I mean if we are the way-showers, then wouldnt we be FAR more enticing and successful as our best and most vibrant healthy abundant selves living happy and satisfying lives–wouldnt more people think hey i want that for myself, whats her secret? Wouldnt it be a far better example to set?? Who the hell would want the life im living now?????? Not one person is envying my experience or anything about me at this point. Im a TERRIBLE example of “enlightened living”!!!!! Lol lol
    And kat, yep me too i hope we reach “critical mass” soon and break through this tenacious void! Good lord–PLEASE?! And i also agree that the idea that we can choose how we feel is ambiguous at best. There are times i feel like perhaps i can and other times i feel like un-uh no way. It often feels like im in some sort of emotional boot camp where im forced to try and find feelgood under worse and worse conditions! Like some sort of sadistic scavenger hunt with lots of built in sabotage LOL 😜

    • lol Elila, you say it all so funny so i’m laughing… but then it’s all a bit too accurate so i wanna cry too haha 🙂

      so so funny…

      “…I would also add that it feels STUPID!…”

      haha yup!

      and it’s so comforting for me what you and Kat have both shared about it struggling with the concept of “choosing how we feel”. sorta been everywhere i’ve stumbled the past few years as the latest “key to setting yourself free”. so i’ve given it a go… but honestly it just mostly feels like i’m trying to manipulate myself? like my thinking mind is just pretending that i feel different than i actually do feel. ends up being one more thing that takes work, but doesn’t work :\, so i guess it tends to fall to the wayside for me as just another thing i’ve tried in many things i’ve tried to “effort” my way out of this. and when it’s spoken of as feelings being the point of creation, i’m not so sure that makes sense for me? not quite sure how to describe this, but i think for me, feelings feel more like a connection to and a reflection of creation, but i still feel like the actual point of creation is something more than that, something i’m still seeking and just haven’t grasped yet?

      so comforting to have y’all here to understand this mess about i feel so alone in most times 💜 💜 💜

      • ” but honestly it just mostly feels like i’m trying to manipulate myself? like my thinking mind is just pretending that i feel different than i actually do feel. ends up being one more thing that takes work, but doesn’t work”

        Yep that’s it! I also feel like I am tricking myself into it. I think because it also has something to do with making an effort and I strongly feel that this doesn’t belong in the new energy. I feel things should be coming on their own, life should be “in the flow” without making any effort and having to work on things. That feels very old and long gone.

      • yes Kat i feel this too…

        “…I feel things should be coming on their own, life should be “in the flow”…”

        for me feelings feel like how i connect to and experience “what is” , but not how i control or manifest “what is”. maybe it makes sense as a way to create for certain people at certain parts of this journey? but it feels like old energy to me too. just doesn’t feel right to effort feelings, but more to just allow them, listen to them, honor them.

  13. I used to create things that I really wanted, not based on feelings though, but based on intent. If that was strong enough – and this is something that just builts up spontaneously, not sth. I worked on- then the things I wanted really did come. Feeling is something accompanying events in my life not something I can use to create.
    I believe that the spontaneous nature of intent is the most important part. It means that it’s nothing that we’ll have to make an effort for, it just comes up. It is just there all of a sudden and we get what we need at that particular moment. It’s nothing we can switch on and off as we please to create the things we think we need. It comes from the depth of the soul which is a massive difference to the very popular mental based creation techniques (I wouldn’t even call it a technique as there is nothing to be figured out and learned there, at least not on a mental basis).
    So we get what we really need, not what we think we need.

    • yup me too…

      “…Feeling is something accompanying events in my life not something I can use to create…”

      and what you describe of creation makes perfect sense…. i like much more the idea of “creation” being something that is true in the soul naturally flowing to the surface and us choosing to express it or let it be expressed, rather than the idea of manipulating things from our human self to create something that isn’t already true somewhere in our soul’s core. for me all those mental based creation techniques just feel like sort of stirring the same stale energy around to try to feed our egos and surface level desires without substance or truth. never works for me cause it feels so empty and pointless. feels much more right for me that this state we’re seeking of being “awakened” means that the only thing you’re really “doing” is just “being” a physical expression of your soul’s energy.

      • Your whole last comment was perfectly expressed; I really can’t add anything to it, apart from a big fat, DAMN RIGHT! haha
        And getting to that state, where we create from our soul’s core is the solution and how to get there? By surrendering to what is.
        So it all comes down to surrender and release control which is based on trust that all is well and in perfect divine order.
        Easier said than done; especially considering how much I used to rant about the status quo the past couple of days hahaha 😀

      • yup…

        “…And getting to that state, where we create from our soul’s core is the solution and how to get there? By surrendering to what is….”

        but biiiiig ol’ yup to this to haha

        “…Easier said than done.” 💙

  14. Kat and sweet pea–gaaaah! You guys have said it all perfectly and there is nothing for me to add but more “yup”s and “me too!”s LOL. Kat i second your “DAMN RIGHT!” & yep again–easier said than done!! For REALS!!! Its like we keep circling around the idea of efforting and always wind up back at surrender & trust 💙💜💙

    • I know, it’s a bit like running around in circles lol. But I feel that talking about it and realising we are not the only ones feeling a certain way does help clear things up and ease some of the frustration. I definitely feel better now after this conversation with you two ❤

      • i feel the same way 💜 it’s so so nice to have others here who understand this crazy journey. the sharing here helps me sort out and even let go of some of the mess in my head. i tend to leave conversations here feeling a little more trust and a little less lost 💜

  15. Yep i agree with both of you–i feel much better after talking and comparing notes with you guys!
    I was thinking last night how maybe i kinda DO have some influence or say in choosing my feelings–bcuz i do notice that i am much more saying no to things or people that dont feel good, and yes to things i prefer that feel much better? So i guess my intent is to feel good & happy, and my actions are backing that up more. But its not like theres a “choice” switch i can flip to go from feeling crap to feeling good again–i can only sort of reach out in that direction and wait for the poopy vibe to wear off it seems. But my intent, like you were saying kat, is to feel great as much as possible, and i do think intent is makin it happen (manifesting?)–so slowly its almost imperceptible–but it does feel like my general mood, despite all the frustrations and pains if this process, is more stable,calm and positive than its ever been before overall. Being here with my “peeps” sure helps!!!!
    💛🐥💛🐥💛

    • Elila, thats the growing self love you are talking about.
      We have more respect for ourselves and our emotional state and are not willing to do anything anymore that is not helpful or enjoyable and don’t let people close to us that are hurting us is some way. That can be subsumed under “choosing how we feel” if you will but it has nothing to do with putting on an inner switch and suddenly feel good just because we want to avoid painful feelings. I believe pain can be necessary and unnecessaty. It’s necessary when we are grieving, letting go of something, clearing up our past issues and reliving them for one last time, because they are an indicator that we are healing. I think they are unnecessary when we make ourselves worry about stuff and then start feeling anxious, think about injustices that were done to us in the past and feel resentful and angry or imagine scenarios in our head where we get hurt and then get the accompanying negative feeling. So when suddenly pain comes up (without us “provoking” it by thinking negative stuff) then it might very well be a good thing and help us heal. That’s also why I m reluctant to switch off the negative (which I can’t anyway), because sometimes I really feel it helps me in the long run.
      When I was telling you about the times when I could materialise what I wanted just by having strong intent I actually meant materialising it almost in an instant.
      I can remember one example that illustrates it quite well.
      When I used to work for that big company I was sitting in an office next to the office of a colleague of mine that this particular day had some external customers and didn’t have time to get any food, cause they were all really busy. So I offered him to get them something to eat downstairs in the bakery. (we were on the 6th floor). He then took me up on my offer during the day and gave me some money (I think 10 Euros) to get the sandwhiches. While I was in the lift I suddenly felt I should be rewarded for this. I didn’t exactly regret offering him help but still I strongly felt that I should get some monetary reward for it. Maybe it had something to do with me being constantly subchallenged in that job (like in all others I had during my life, at least intellectually) and feeling frustrated for having to do such “servant errand”. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with helping your colleagues along the way and I offered it myself, but the whole situation at that job made me feel like that and it all led to me feeling wanting reward for this while on my way to the bakery.
      So when I was there I told the lady behind the counter what I wanted, paid for and got some money back.
      When I was back on my way up to the office I noticed the lady gave me too much money in return, so that I could keep the 10 Euros my colleague gave me. I am sure my strong feeling caused that situation and made the woman gave me too much money.
      I didn’t bring it back (I usually always do when a cashier returns too much) but that time I felt I deserve it. Not a really morally clean story, but I think it’s a good example of what I meant when talking about intent.
      The same happens when I had an appointment with someone I couldn’t then be bothered seeing. It was always the other one canceling the appointment, I never had to do anything to cancel it and many other situations where just my inner state about a certain event influenced the outcome.

    • Kat & Elila ❤

      i would say i'm a place that's a bit right in between where you both describe.

      … like what Kat describes for allowing the pain, i'm at a place where i'm just done with the pain for any reason. i spoke it to Maria here before as that i feel like pain is just no longer a teacher for me. i spent the past 3-4 years so buried in my fears manifesting all around me, like dark night of the soul kinda pain… and after all the time i've spent feeling it and trying to learn from it and seeking for clarity through it, truly no kinda sense can be made of any of the things that have happened in my life the past 4 years, so i guess i'm just not willing to see what pain and fear have to say anymore. none of it's healed, but i realize now there just aren't any answers for any of it in this human experience or dimension or reality :\ when my fears would manifest before, i used to completely drown in the darkest depths of them looking for the purpose and meaning of them. now when they come up, i sorta just feel myself refuse to take it in. like i allow it to be what it is "out there", and i do still go through phases of fear and sadness and anger in reaction to it, but i don't let it inside of me as something that's meant for me. it's been excruciating baby steps to get to this feeling about it because my head wants to keep looking back for "closure" or "the lesson" of it all, but i know in my heart there's just no answers there.

      wow, good gracious… sorry for the ramble but i've actually never sorted all that way of seeing before this moment of writing it out! i could almost feel a new sense of security in me about it as i put it all into words 💙💜💙

      so i guess maybe this is one place i do sorta make a "choice", but i think it's perfectly what Kat describes, the "choice" is coming from inside of me now. so not like i consciously choose to push the fears away, but more like that self-love from inside my soul rises to the surface and i feel myself just no longer being willing to take in those energies.

      but then for what Elila speaks of, i'm not to place yet where i can intend for good things. i can't even reach out in the direction of good :\ i wish so much i could, but the universe just has me in a holding pattern where i don't feel much of anything at all, and wanting and wishing leaves me hurting. i haaate it so so much, i've always been a wisher and a hoper and a dreamer, so i desperately miss that reach for goodness, but any intentional movement i make towards anything anywhere in any direction to feel good, or even just a tip toe to a little bit better… it just isn't right. i can feel the call to sit still in my bones every time i try. 😦 so apathy and surrender it is.

      • Hi Sweet Pea,

        ” like what Kat describes for allowing the pain, i’m at a place where i’m just done with the pain for any reason. i spoke it to Maria here before as that i feel like pain is just no longer a teacher for me”

        I do understand that and I don’t see pain as a teacher for me either. What I meant is that whenever some emotion that was stuck in my system comes up and wants to be released it usually feels uncomfortable. It doesn’t last for too long though, just for the moment this emotion needs to be released (and never coming back). That is the pain I think is still necessary, because it helps me in the long run.
        I also had a dark night of the soul, lasting from 2002 until maybe two years ago (I don’t see myself in it anymore) and the state I m in now is absolute bliss compared to what it was then. So I m nowhere near as processing as much as I used to and I know for a fact I’m done with most of it. It’s just the occasional twitch and it’s not really that bad, especially compared what it used to be. I had times when I felt like I won’t survive this, because it was so bloody horrible. That is thank God just a distant memory now and I think I will never be in that situation again.

        “i do still go through phases of fear and sadness and anger in reaction to it, but i don’t let it inside of me as something that’s meant for me”

        That sounds good! Just let it come up and pass. I don’t think we are meant to give it too much meaning. I rather see it as a catalyst for healing (when old stuck emotions come up and want to be released), than something that wants to teach me anything, because I don’t look for meaning in it really, as I don’t wanna give it that much importance. I just let it wash through me and let it pass.

        ” it just isn’t right. i can feel the call to sit still in my bones every time i try. 😦 so apathy and surrender it is.”

        Yeah I know that feeling, it’s as if the universe has you in its grip and won’t let you move back nor forth. And surrender is – as annoying and frustrating as it sounds at the minute – the only solution to that situation.
        Much LOVE sweet pea, you are not alone 🙂

      • hey Kat,

        “…What I meant is that whenever some emotion that was stuck in my system comes up and wants to be released it usually feels uncomfortable…”

        yes those moments. if it’s something in connection to the dark soul pain i’ve just barely started to tip toe out of, i’ve had to sorta wrap these feelings up in a protective shield as they come up to where they’re just not allowed to fully process through me. not sure how to speak it, but you probably understand because i am maybe where you were 2 years ago… i guess my heart is just so beat up from the past few years that i’m sorta just too fragile to really feel them :\ i feel a bit angry and resentful at pain at this point? but i maybe could describe it as just being still too close to that dark place to where it just doesn’t feel safe to fully feel it. the fear that i could get pulled back under truly terrifies me. and even after all the darkness, 4 years later, the experiences that caused me that pain haven’t really resolved or healed at all, and the fears are still playing out in some ways :\ so that makes me struggle with understanding for any purpose in all that pain 😦

        right now i feel a bit like the place i’m in could be captured as “just trying to sustain a safe place of relief from the pain”. that’s maybe what makes this apathy phase so hard. i think i yearn to feel something so beautiful and magical and good to finally truly feel safe away from that dark place.

    • oh gosh Kat, yes so much of it is perfectly where i’m at. it made me cry 😦 i went back and started at the start of chapter 3 through the end of what you shared.

      it all makes sense to me, but how she speaks of staying with things too long and engaging too much to where they start to feel recycled… that part captures how these things feel for me anymore. i’ve gone to the depths of my soul with it all, and when i’ve survived what i think i couldn’t barely make it through, so much of what i thought i cleared and processed and overcame, just manifests again and again and again… just how she speaks of the many voids. except the place i feel different than how she describes is where she speaks of handling things better each next time around because she understands more… i feel the opposite :\ like every time this stuff resurfaces i feel more and more lost because nothing resolves or gives me clarity or understanding. it just hurts all over again. i think it’s not so much an unwillingness to feel the pain anymore, more that i truly just no longer feel myself growing from any of it, and so i’m sorta praying for the universe to start teaching me with love instead of pain.

      when she says “they panic at the meaningless and emptiness they are experiencing” that’s so so me. the meaningless and emptiness of all that pain has my faith in the process pretty shaken most days anymore. and out of everything i’ve been stripped of on this journey, my faith is the one things that hurts to lose the most 😦 if everything around me is dark, i’m wanting at least to feel connected to something good and pure and have something to trust through the dark things, like Elila spoke it, “breadcrumbs” to have faith in.

      thank you for sharing that, even if i’m struggling with parts of it, it is comforting to read. ❤

      • when I read it I strongly felt that I had to link it here for you to see. I thought it might give you some comfort. I am also not agreeing with every single thing she says but I reckon that is down to the fact that at the end of the day this process is still a very individual thing and we can’t relate to everything other people go through, there still are some differences that we need to figure out ourselves and that we need to find our own individual solution for.

      • so so true. the beautiful part is that we all have a unique journey, but also the hard part cause we all have to learn to find our own way :\, with no perfect road map to follow… but part of the purpose of it all i guess cause it teaches us to listen to and trust what we feel inside. bu yeah no matter the different shades and nuances we experience, things like what you shared about the kinds of experiences we are facing are still such a comfort. imagine surviving these voids we’re in with no one else in the world who even knows what a void is :\ thank you again for sharing ❤

  16. ” imagine surviving these voids we’re in with no one else in the world who even knows what a void is”

    haha I have been thinking about this as well and an I am sooo glad the internet exists and people like us can connect and inform one another 😀

    • goodness meee tooo. honestly couldn’t be more grateful for this blog especially and y’all here especially. i stumbled in all kinds of places with ascension information before i stumbled my way here, and each place offered guiding lights for this path that i am so grateful for, but i also never quite felt truly at home anywhere because there were either sorta group oriented belief systems that resembled some of the reasons why i left religion behind, or the information expressed about personal relationships didn’t resonate with me. i just couldn’t ever quite find others who understood this path where the internal journey to self-love is has such an overwhelming precedence over everything else. even though we all have different shades of our beliefs and experiences and desires here, there’s just something so perfectly comforting for me about the incredibly independent and individual path that Maria and others drawn here share things about. the beautiful feminine energy here is magical to me, but also finding others who understand the kinds of things i feel about love, dating, intimate relationships especially has been such a comfort. so so grateful 💜

  17. I was wondering how you all are doing these days? Hope all is well and y’all alive and kicking.
    much LOVE
    Kat

    • Hi Kat!
      Yep, still kickin’! Have been wondering about y’all too–i miss everyone! I bet for Maria this time is flying by, but it seems to be inching for me whilst awaiting reunion! LOL. So much weird old energy getting churned up these last few weeks–i hope everyone is faring well!
      Some more LOVE
      Elila

      • Heey Elila ! so nice to hear from you! yeah I miss everyone here as well. Was wondering what you all are up to. I had some serious periods of boredom and not knowing what to do lately, but feel better today. Can’t wait for Maria’s return and new posts. I m slightly addicted haha

      • LOL Kat , im a bit addicted myself! Interacting here is one of the few things left that feels good! Ive noticed lately it seems some big chunks of really old energy seem to be dislodging and moving out–really knocking me for a loop as they leave. Theres been some confrontational vibes popping up that i am just soooo not used to encountering anymore! But this week has been fairly calm–knock wood LOL

  18. “Theres been some confrontational vibes popping up2

    Same here! Some really old stuff, that I thought I got over with came up lately. It is annoying but I m learning to not let it annoy me as much anymore. I guess that is the lesson behind it.
    Glad your week has been calmer. The great times are ahead, I am sure 🙂

    • Yes! Super old feeling stuff that i thought was done. It was interesting though how my reactions were quite different from anything in the past. Like i just knew there was no way i was going to fight against anything, or struggle at all, or live in the fear anymore. It was more like total surrender, like “fine-if this is gonna go down i dont have the energy to do anything about it and its just gonna have to work itself out”. But one incident was so intense and felt like such a threat i cried for a whole day–which RARELY happens anymore! So i know it was cleaning out some big chunk lol! Bring on those great times–im ready NOW!!! 💕😊💕

      • ” It was interesting though how my reactions were quite different from anything in the past. ”

        Yeah same here. I did feel my old impulsive reaction coming up but it felt kinda distant, like it doesn’t belong to me anymore. Hard to explain.
        And yeah I ve been ready for the good times for ages 😀
        Feel better now though.
        How do you feel now after that old chunk has gone?

      • hi Kat & Elila 💜💙

        yay, i missed y’all 🙂 and yup, been some reruns of old yucky stuff for me toooo. pretty done and tired of this whole 3rd/4th dimensional reality…it’s all just dumb, pointless, and frustratin’ anymore lol.

        so so ready for some wings to fly.

        hugs to u both 💕

  19. Hey sweet pea,

    nice to see you back 🙂 Can’t wait to hear what Maria has to say when she’s back from her trip so we can all join in and have insightful conversations again.
    Much LOVE
    Kat

  20. Hi sweet pea! Missed you too! And yep–it all feels pretty stupid! Like really outdated and clichè. Im ready for wings too–but i dont know of id even have the energy to fly at this point lol.
    And Kat! I know what you mean about the reactions feeling distant–like i had the knee jerk panic, but then something was like no, we are not doing this, this is OLD stuff. And frankly im not sure if the chunk is actually gone, but definitely dislodged. Another trigger came up this week and i had the same fear/adrenaline punch, but then again the awareness that this stuff is OLD, that im just not gonna engage with it or try to “deal” with it, and it faded away a little bit quicker this time. I mean jeepers y’all –havent we been through ENOUGH??? I have this “chips fall where they may” attitude, cuz i just dont have the energy to care anymore or to even try to “fix” things. So to answer your question, kat, about how it feels? Im not sure! But there IS a kind of relief in just sort of saying eff it and letting the plates drop –not tryin to keep them spinning in the air anymore!
    I too cant wait for marias return & hearing what shes been up to & realizing–continuing our conversation. Love to you both!
    💜💕💜

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