Generally I don’t reflect much on my past. Once I move on from a situation or a relationship i prefer to focus on the present and look forward to a future of unfolding possibilities.
But lately at night in my dream state I am having quite a few ‘reunions’ with family members, some alive, some dead, as well as with ex- husbands and lovers.
With some I am arguing about why I needed to move on, because they appear quite angry at me, in particular a cousin, an elderly woman who I used to help out. Then there are the ex-husbands. I find myself strangely comforted by them. That sense of familiarity and safety.
I hear myself professing my love, at which they seem overjoyed. Yep. It’s official. We are back together. In marital bliss. Unfortunately it doesn’t take too long to realize that the grass is always greener. That as I move into that old space again, I begin to miss my current life, as imperfect and challenging as it is! And the aspects of those relationships that compelled me to move on become soberingly apparent!
So now I am faced with the uncomfortable job of explaining that this just isn’t going to work out after all. So much for my trip down memory ‘lame!’
YOUR PAST IS CALLING: DON’T PICK UP!
The other part of this is those from our past want to feel our presence because they sense we are in a very different place now. They are curious.
All of this tends at times to pull on our heart-strings.
So it is to be aware. to have compassion for the part of us that wants to stay connected, and compassion for those who miss us. But make sure the compassion doesn’t turn into sympathy. It’s vital not to diminish our radiance by feeling sorry for them, or for anyone! Because then you download all their issues and emotions into your body, compromising your own well-being and your own connection to your eternal self.
Sympathizing with them may seem innocent enough, but we end up taking on their sadness, their sense of abandonment, their fears. It then becomes a feeding off of our precious energies.
Many of us are now in a delicate place where we need to be giving our full attention to our own joy, our own soul connection. It comes down to, it’s us or them.
It’s imperative that we become clear on what we want. Do we want to walk this Earth as an Embodied Master? As someone who has claimed their own freedom? Or do we want to continue our old story of being the emotional sponge for others who are not willing to claim their own joy?
Many of us made that choice to claim our own joy, our own freedom. I see in my own life how that is being reflected back to me. I no longer attract emotional feeders or any kind of abuse from others. Yes there is still some residual of that pattern, which is being worked out in dream state, and so be it. But I am becoming more clear every day about who I am.
Because don’t we have enough to deal with relative to our own bodies and minds? We can’t afford to compromise who we are becoming in the name of security, comfort or allegiance to anything or anyone. No, we need not ask our human self to do anything that it doesn’t feel ready to do. Our human self can only do what it has been conditioned to do for the most part, and that needs to be honored. But our human self is in the process of allowing the expanded part of who it is, its soul, to be in its body and its life on a regular basis. And that Divine part of us is what does all the re-balancing and the releasing for us.
It’s not an overnight process as we can see, but it moves faster and faster as we allow more and more of our soul to be with us on an intimate and ongoing level. Those of us on the leading edge are not interested in waiting a lifetime any more to experience first hand what it feels like to be our Divine selves in these bodies.
When I began this process of awakening, I thought I would be going right into enhancing my human experience with more health and joy and abundance. I didn’t realize the amount of releasing and transforming that was necessary, at least for me. I also didn’t realize that the essential ingredient in all this is self-acceptance. That still at times challenges me to my core. And most of all, I didn’t realize the amount of love that was just waiting for me from my own Divine-self. With no agenda, no parameters. No need to change who I am right now to receive that love. Another mind-blowing concept.
I also didn’t realize what a relief it would be to let my human self, including my mind, off the hook for being responsible for creating joy and freedom for me. That it’s just about stepping aside more and letting my soul drive. Not dismissing my human self, but honoring my human self and my mind as valuable partners that get to co-create with my soul. I keep ‘thinking’ it must be more complicated than that. And it isn’t.
copyright © 2016, Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, your Facebook page, etc, but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com