Our journey to our enlightenment is as varied as is each of us…..each a unique ‘snowflake’ traveling a road that has twists and turns, detours and pitfalls, beautiful, expansive vistas as well as dreary, confining environments. But each experience was just a step closer to our enlightenment.
In the throes of relationship drama for example, from my human perspective, I saw it at the time, from just one angle. But seeing it from the eyes of my soul, it all makes sense. Each connection and experience was synchronistic, and has led me back home. For example, my first marriage was ending after ten years, and I knew it was time to move on. Ideally I should have waited awhile before becoming involved with another man, but in the scheme of things it was not possible. I was being led a step closer to my awakening.
So husband number two was a computer whiz, and he set up a PC for me. I think it was a Dell. Later on, Gateway. Before that, I had no concept of what a computer was capable of other than the handful of data entry jobs in which I worked. I had no real interest in computers.
I never owned my own computer or knew much about this phenomenon called the internet. Yet it wasn’t long after we moved in together that I was all hooked up and had the entire world at my finger-tips.
Because my husband was seventeen years younger than me…that’s right ladies…you heard it here…he was computer savvy and was able to troubleshoot any computer issue imaginable….and back then (the early 90’s) we were stuck with clunky technology, including the turtle-speed of dial-up. Because my husband was devoted to online gaming…dungeons and dragons and similar genre, he would spend hours playing with his buddies, both in person and on-line. While there was a part of me that felt lonely in the relationship, it also gave me the opportunity to focus on my own inner spiritual journey without too much distraction. But at the time I didn’t recognize that truth.
And I had no conscious idea that I would need a computer to enter that world even more deeply and make critical connections. Initially it seemed like surfing online was just a distraction from the stress of a new relationship and a new living situation. But as I navigated the internet I came across some websites that seemed to begin answering some of my burning questions. And as it usually happens when we are open to more knowledge, the appropriate websites find us. While I did glean some valuable information from books in the ‘new age’ section of Barnes and Nobles, this was a brave new world at my fingertips….I felt like I was connecting to my true spiritual family. I no longer felt so alone.
Within those energies were the mentors and guides I now recognize as old friends and fellow teachers.
And the relationship I was developing with his mother, who I was closer in age to than I was with her son, was also synchronistic. She led me to some unexpected opportunities in which I would be able to work less and spend more time developing my spirituality. And this came in handy even more so after husband number two and I divorced.
Ending my relationship with Husband Number Two was quite painful, and I tried my best to keep him in my life. But alas, a younger man…the age gap getting larger and larger as time rolled on…and his wanting to start a family of his own….no surprise there. But again, another blessing.
A phone call out of the blue came from a long-lost first cousin, inviting me to come down to Florida. Getting off the airplane in December and being greeted by a balmy 80 degrees, palm trees and ocean air…who could resist? It was a long winter of my soul and I was so ready to begin a new chapter in my life!
Here in Florida I met up with old (lifetimes old) relationships that supported me as an awakening human, and others that were dissolved because they were no longer part of the new energy in which I was entering.
One relationship in particular was karmic and difficult. Yet, it helped me to initiate my passion for music. I started out playing back up guitar for my Greek cousin’s harmonica playing, and that evolved into writing and performing my own songs. Again, about a ten-year run, and it ended with me resolving never to allow an emotionally abusive relationship into my life again. And shortly after I disconnected energetically from him, he transitioned. I was left feeling empty and scared, because I didn’t realize how much of myself I had invested in that relationship. But I knew that this was going to be the beginning of something profound. I now see that relationship as a blessing because it pushed me to finally end an old pattern that as a woman I had been in for a very long time. Again, all part of the awakening process.
I was slowly unravelling the old care-taking role. I became more aware than ever that these relationships were sacred and appropriate but that ultimately the most important relationship was the one with myself. My songs in particular expressed that truth, and I wanted to share myself as a musician with more than just the local bars and coffee houses.
I dreamed of recording my songs in a real music studio with back-up musicians of my own.
And interestingly, that dream evolved into something even more amazing that I could never have imagined. But there’s a little more to the story before that part is revealed.
GOING BEYOND THE LOCAL COMMUNITY
I did record a couple of nice albums on my own, using a simple recording device, and I did record some songs using a recording studio and someone to master them. But I put aside the bigger dream of having other musicians to record with for the time being. Meanwhile I was feeling the calling to share what I had learned along the spiritual path, and I felt a growing desire to share my experiences and wisdom with more people than just those I would meet in my local community. I tried to set up classes and workshops at my local library and other community centers but they never seemed to pan out. I became intrigued with the online presence, and soon was drawn to the WordPress blogging world. It was relatively easy to create a blog, and for the basic version, it was free!
When I moved here from New Jersey, I had no computer of my own any more. Consequently, a short six years ago I was attempting to create this very blog from the local library’s computers. There was a limited window of time to use them, so the original blog was quite rudimentary, and I could not upload images to the site. My dear friend called the library and asked them to install thumb drives into some of the computers, and that was an amazing next step for me. I could then introduce images into my writing.
The same friend eventually asked if he could gift me with a laptop, or an iPad, because he knew I enjoyed spending time at cafes, writing in my journals. I eventually said yes, and off we went to the Apple Store…but we left with a state of the art iMac, keyboard, microphone, and all the other equipment for me to create and produce music. Thanks to his gift, now I had my own home music studio replete with all the software to add any instruments and sounds I wanted to my own voice. Not only that but now I could create music videos and continue my writing and developing my blog, soulsoothinsounds. I could incorporate my art, my music and my videos into my blog. I now was in complete control of the entire production and world-wide distribution of my creative forms. And in the comfort of my own home!
It’s almost as if the dream becomes fulfilled by our soul along with the loving support from others, but often all of the participants are not even aware of what’s really happening as it’s unfolding. It’s often not until afterward that we can look back and marvel at how it all came together.
And along the way I was not always that clear about what I wanted to create, other than to express my soul in as many ways as seemed joyful. Often the road would take a different turn than expected, which would create doubt and fear in me. Yet to my surprise things ended up even better and more expansive than I could have imagined. So it seems the less I tried to figure things out and just do what brought me joy, there was always a wonderful surprise awaiting me. One of my favorite surprises is the blessing right here at soulsoothinsounds, of an amazing, supportive community of courageous and outrageous divine humans to share this journey with.
copyright (c) 2016 Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others but maintain this article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link:. Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com