Happy Guilt-Free Holidaze

santa-1507126_1280Happy Holidays! And, what I mean by that is I hope that you are doing everything within your power to make the Holidays happy for YOURSELF. Now, that could mean celebrating with friends and family. And it could also mean not celebrating with anyone that you really don’t want to celebrate with. It could also mean not celebrating at all if you don’t really feel like celebrating. There’s no right or wrong.

For myself, I have finally allowed myself, after so many decades of forced celebrating with friends and family, to just do whatever I feel like doing. This did not come easily. I had to literally get sick in the past to give myself permission to get out of doing things that I just did not want to do, including the holidays. I couldn’t see clearly that I had a choice. But, thankfully over time, and through this Awakening process, I now see that there is always a choice. Not that we become popular because of that choice. So be it. But what has happened in my case is over time, less and less invitations come to me because people are finally getting who I am. They may not like it. But that is not my problem.

I also found myself feeling blue often around the holidays.  I am sure a lot of that was picking up on the consciousness of those who, especially around holidays are depressed.  And a lot of that depression comes from feelings of being let down and lonely.  The holidays have a built-in expectation of joy, coming together and celebrating with loved ones.  And for those especially who have not found the love within themselves, it can be a very difficult time.

But I notice I have let go of much of that processing for others.  I remember stepping into department stores and had to leave because the Christmas music was too much for me to bear.  So interestingly, now that I have let myself off the hook at least relative to the holidays, I am enjoying these holidays more than I ever have. I am actually enjoying the Christmas lights, and even the music that gets piped out at stores and at Starbucks!  I find myself singing to some of the most schmaltzy tunes and truly enjoying that experience!  It’s no longer laced with guilt, obligation and sadness.

Now, having said that, if at any point I find myself drawn to wanting to spend time with someone on the holidays I absolutely will. I would not deprive myself of that experience if it brought me joy. But I no longer feel that I have to power through something that just doesn’t feel good. In fact the guilt is dissipating quite nicely.  And I know I speak for many of us who are finally giving ourselves permission to choose for ourselves first.

Meanwhile, if you are still having trouble saying ‘no’ to what you really do not want to do, or ‘yes’ to what feels delightful, check this out…

Tired of the guilt? Looking for a solution? You just found one!

Spoof by Maria Chambers

Tired of depriving yourself of that second helping of pasta, or pie? Are you done with feigning illness to get out of family events? Have you had it ‘up to here’ with feeling guilty for just being alive? Then Guilt-eze™ is for YOU. each uniquely crafted tablet is carefully infused with your Soul’s presence. (If you want to know how we do that, you’re thinking too much!) We use only 100% pure crystalline light-body particles. Results may vary depending on how much you want it. Call 1-800-NO-GUILT to place your order. warning: common side effects: You may experience episodes of unbridled joy accompanied by a lack of concern for social decorum. If necessary, consult your I AM, who will assure you that you are taking just the right dosage. dosage: 1 tablet 3x a day with your favorite food or activity. (Double doses at holidays are recommended.)

copyright (c) 2016 Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others but maintain this article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link:. Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

27 thoughts on “Happy Guilt-Free Holidaze

  1. I am trying to figure out my situation. I felt so clear about exactly what you are talking about and I am now away from home, helping to take care of my hubby’s elderly parents (end of life). It is VERY CHALLENGING to me as an Empath-HSP.

    I managed to create the Thanksgiving that brought me joy. It was perfect. Mellow.

    I feel that perhaps I am on a special mission right now. I know that I transmute energy. I believe I am doing this for the whole family and the ancestors. But I am a bit of a basket case at times. I look a little crazy and weepy and emotional. Oh my! But when I ask my guides if it is mine, they say no. So I cry and focus on transmuting.

    I have one person I can talk to about this. And then you wrote this blog. Thank you! I feel like perhaps you will understand.

    Just trying to understand it all. I have been very clear to God-Goddess-Universe-Spirit that I AM here to serve.

    Love to us all!


    1. Dear Elizabeth…you carry such a bright light, and others are very blessed by that. I know all too well that End of Life can be a trying time for everyone involved. Even if those transitioning have strong beliefs in an afterlife, it is still frightening to a degree. And I know nursing homes, no matter how state of the art, can be infinitely depressing to be around. My mom was in one before she transitioned…But at that time I wasn’t aware that what I was feeling was not really mine so much. So knowing as you do that so much of those emotions are not about you is significant! And if this transmuting brings you joy, then it is wonderful indeed. And when it stops being joyful, and if you find you are processing others’ energies and it begins to affect your health and well being, then it helps no one at that point. But I know you know all of that.

      Love you dear sistar goddess. 💕

      1. Thank you dear Sistar goddess! It gives me great comfort knowing you understand.

        Sending of tons love and I greatly appreciate your you-ness!!!!


    2. I totally understand Elizabeth transmuting energy. I’ve done it my whole life. The thing that sucks is that sometimes it gets stuck in me. I can imagine feeling like a basket case. I’ve done this with my family of origin forever and its ROUGH! I too have felt like I transmute and release energy when I cry, that’s the way I move it through when it feels stuck sometimes.

      Its wonderful that you can talk to Maria about this. That’s a big blessing. I find most people don’t get it.

      Love and a big hug to you.

  2. Maria, this post made me laugh out loud! I too have had my fair share of getting sick to get out of what I just didn’t want to do anymore, including family events. I hate forced family gatherings. I even moved across the country so I could more easily say no. Recently, I’ve decided I’m done with using illness as an excuse and have started just saying no and doing what I want to do. For Thanksgiving, I declined multiple family invitations and instead went out to dinner with my husband. We had so much fun eating a ton of food, dancing and meeting new people. It was my best Thanksgiving ever. I’ll be declining a family Christmas event this year to stay home by myself. If I feel that guilt creeping up, I’ll just take some of your “Guilt-eze” and all will be well! Thanks for the great post.

    1. Lindsay, I absolutely LOVE what I am hearing!!! Bravo!!!

      And, you know, as you do this self-care, self-love thing, it creates a role model, and new potentials for others who are also wanting their freedom. And it creates the solution for so much stuck energies on the planet. And even the ones who are tiffed at us….. they will thank us later. Because we are setting them free….maybe not in this lifetime, they may have much more suffering they want to do first. But, in their hearts they don’t want to be an excuse for us to not claim our joy. Thank you for sharing! 💜💛💙

      1. Yes Maria you’re right. The hardest thing for me is to say no to immediate family members but I have to remind myself of exactly what you said, that we are creating a potential for others when they are ready.

        It feels like I am leaving them behind in their suffering but I can’t deny anymore that I feel so much joy when I’m not around them. I recently made the decision to choose happiness for myself and metaphorically leave them to their suffering. Man did that guilt come up and it still sometimes does! Family and health have been the biggest challenges for me in this lifetime but it’s time to choose a new experience and leave the suffering behind. Ultimately, I know that this is the best thing I can do for myself, and also, my family, even if they don’t understand right now and have to feel the temporary pain of me separating from them.

        It’s so nice to read other’s stories of doing the same thing so we can support each other in our choices. It’s invaluable.

        1. Yes Lindsay, well said, “time to choose a new experince and leave the suffering behind.” For women in particular the ‘comfort zone’ has been pain and suffering. After all, it was considered a virtue for a very very long time for a woman to take on the pain and suffering of others especially family but not excluding them. We have been carrying the Wounded Heart of humanity for a long time. To claim our freedom takes courage. Because it means owning our sensuality. I never realized how I had suppressed that part of myself in order to protect myself.. I ended up feeling disconnected from life and from myself . how many times as women have we expressed ourselves sensually and were misunderstood and disrespected? ..but it seems spirit is all about being sensual… our sensual love for life and for being in these bodies is imperative in order to move into our freedom and to reclaim our health. So we are beginning to trust that we can now feel safe to be here. And to be in the body and express our joy for life. Everyone benefits! And the beauty is we’re not doing it alone.

  3. James

    Brilliant post Maria! lol. Through this process I’ve spent 2 christmas’s in the past few years on my own, and they’ve probably been some of the darkest days I’ve had in this process…and yet looking back I didn’t necessarily feel lonely, it was more of the idea society has of Christmas being about spending time with loved ones and togetherness. So there my ego was, feeling all sorry for itself and I would feel so dark and lonely due to this idea, thinking of my family being together and so on lol…this year I took a different approach, what ever happens happens, whether I’m on my own or not doesn’t matter but I said I wouldn’t place any expectations on it…and it’s weird, things are riding so much more smoothly, it looks like I won’t be on my own but I also haven’t resided myself to the fact that if I am I have to be down about that. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING PERFECTLY. Again, great post ❤

    1. Thank you James. You say it perfectly:

      “…this year I took a different approach, what ever happens happens, whether I’m on my own or not doesn’t matter but I said I wouldn’t place any expectations on it…and it’s weird, things are riding so much more smoothly, it looks like I won’t be on my own but I also haven’t resided myself to the fact that if I am I have to be down about that. EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING PERFECTLY”

      It’s the Mastery of allowing….the self-acceptance….not being hard on yourself….and just choosing how you want to feel! Beautiful. 💜

    1. I love your blog Linsay! I can so relate. Feeling everyone’s energy can be so overwhelming! I have the same feelings myself at times. I saw good for you for taking care of yourself!

    2. I’m giving you a virtual high five right now Linsay….I love your article!!! And I am sitting here in my apartment ALONE and loving it!!! I too had to say no to some invitations, and I could feel the disappointment too in them. But I took refuge in just enjoying my time, eating what I wanted to, watching Netflix, and hanging out with my favorite person…ME!!! and I didn’t want to disappoint HER the most!!!

      This year was not so guilt-filled, in fact very little, and it surprised me. I mean, I’m from a Greek-Italian family….but what I want to share is that it gets easier…you begin to realize that those heavy, sad or guilty feelings are just not powerful anymore!!!

      So carry on, fellow pioneer….Love and hugs

      1. Thanks so much Maria. I’m from an Italian family too. They are guilt experts!

        I know exactly what you mean about hanging out with your favorite person. I am honestly having a great time with myself, it’s just that pesky guilt creeping in.

        I’m glad to hear it gets easier. I’ve been saying no to family events for a while but I always used illness as an excuse and the fact that I lived far away. Now I’m not doing that so it’s a bit harder.

        Thanks for the love and support!

        1. Lindsay, funny you say that you used illness and living far from family as excuses….same here…it is definitely much harder when you are closer geographically. And, much of my family has already croaked (I like being a little irreverent about death – it’s taken too seriously)…so that makes it easier too. But it’s not just family as we know, it’s friends we have made along the way…that pull on our heartstrings. I have turned down invitations over and over from friends, a close one especially…and some stop sending me invitations, but some still ask, and I’m not sure if it’s partly because they enjoy my company, and partly because they ‘feel sorry’ for me because I am alone….they don’t get that alone isn’t lonely necessarily. And let’s face it, Christmas is one of the biggest guilt-packed holidays going, other than mother’s day.

  4. That’s so funny about your family croaking! I don’t take death too seriously either.
    What’s also surprising to me is that this isn’t even my birth family. I was really shocked at how guilty I did feel saying no to them. I thought it would be a lot easier since we aren’t blood related…nope. You’re right, it does pull on the heart strings.
    We actually talked about it a little as a family last night since my husband was considering not going as well. My father-in-law actually cried during this discussion because he loves and enjoys his family so much and couldn’t understand why we don’t. It pushed some huge buttons for me but writing my post and talking to you all is helping so much. Definitely a lot of healing and realeasing going on for me today.

    1. No I guess it’s just in our DNA, the care-taking role, which includes care-taking everyone, regardless of any blood line connection…thank goddess it’s on it’s way out!…Oh and the father-in law’s tears, certainly no disrespect to him personally, but I notice in european cultures the men can be very emotional…my own father used the waterworks with me all the time when I was not complying with his needs. Guilt – the gift that keeps on giving. It’s a great manipulation tactic for sure! Yes it sounds like you are releasing a lot this holiday for sure. And after all that’s said and done, it’s so important to have patience with our human self isn’t it? To be o.k. with it not being able to move past this issue…to just allow our Divine self to come in closer and do all the necessary transforming for us.

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