Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Personal Space

19 Comments

Photo by Maria Chambers

So this morning at Starbucks I took my short walk between coffee refills and when I got back to my table, a woman had set up herself, and was working on her laptop, at the seat across from mine.  It’s a small two seat table, not the long ones Starbucks provides for many people.

The woman said, “I hope you don’t mind.  There were no tables available.  I won’t bother you.  I’ll just do my work.  You’re always here.  I didn’t think you’d mind.”

I responded, “It’s weird.  This is not comfortable for me. ” At which point she just gave me a look that read, it’s not her problem.  So, I could have asked her to leave, but instead I said., “it’s weird.  I need my space.  I’ll move.”

At which point I was prepared to go sit outside, but the perfect table was available toward the back.

So, here I sit, flabbergasted at how someone could assume it’s o.k. to intrude upon someone’s personal space.  Not even asking.  It might be different if it’s a friend or someone I knew, but even then, I would expect them to ask if they could join me.

What is interesting is as I was walking, I was feeling really connected, really blissed out.  So enjoying the sensual aspects of my walk.  So the intrusion felt even more harsh a contrast to the space I was just in.  It felt like two diametrically opposed vibrations crashing into each other.

It makes me realize how our consciousness is vastly different from much of the consciousness surrounding us.  While this person wasn’t clobbering me over the head and stealing my wallet, it felt like a type of personal violation of my personal space.

Perhaps she has no respect even for her own personal space.  Maybe she is a mother, and a wife, who’s space is intruded upon all the time, and she just tolerates it.  How many people allow that every day?  They allow their personal space to be invaded by others, by their own thoughts of lack.  No boundaries.

We are getting to know ourselves finally, after how many years and decades of allowing life to intrude upon our personal space.

Perhaps the woman today was a reminder to me that it’s important to be aware of how much I am still allowing my sacred space to be intruded upon, not just physically, but emotionally.

Especially as a woman, I had played the role of someone who others felt they could take from.  They were able to extract nurturance and support, so they didn’t need to give it to themselves.  And  even as I released people from my life who were not willing to give that support to themselves, I found that I also had to face my own inner aspects who were doing the same thing.

They were draining me energetically with their demands.  Their neediness.  Their insecurities.  So I would need to disentangle myself also from them.  And I have been doing that simply by loving myself.  By allowing my soul to be more and more in my body and in my life.

So those aspects of me can come in and feel that love, and not be so resistant.  There is  no analyzing them.  No trying to figure them out.  Who has the time?  It’s not necessary.

So I’m taking the sign across my forehead off.  The one that reads, “c’mon over, sit at my table, make yourself comfortable.  Mi casa su casa….I’m easy.”

And the same sign comes off that my aspects may have been reading.  Now it’s, “No intrusions permitted.”

There comes a point in our Mastery where we are not always so tolerant.  Where we are very clear about what we will permit into our consciousness.    We begin to love ourselves so much that we choose how we want to feel.  And we also get to choose who we allow to sit at our sacred table.

© Copyright 2017 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Six years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

19 thoughts on “Personal Space

  1. WOW. Just wow. Unbelievable! I know just what you mean about those opposite vibe crashes! And i dont know if this is true for you, but i always come up with the perfect response ….about 30min AFTER the fact! And then wish id said THAT…. LOL

  2. For sure! Perhaps something along the lines of “Really i do mind–would you please move? Thank you.” 😏

  3. And NO apologizing for heavens sake!!!!!

    • Yeah, Elila….that’s what I would do different if there is a next time, THEY would have to leave. But to be honest, there was a time when I would have been too scared to say anything except, “sure, relax, it’s not a problem.” And would have sat there being super uncomfortable.

      Amazing what I would allow at one time.

  4. Reblogged this on elizabethsadhu and commented:
    YAY! Taking care of ourselves.

  5. Good on you, sweet Sistar Goddess! Taking care of you! And I am with you that I don’t know if I would have said anything, but now I would for sure. Although moving is an easy option. And you got your “perfect table”. 🙂 ❤ ❤

    "There comes a point in our Mastery where we are not always so tolerant.  Where we are very clear about what we will permit into our consciousness.    We begin to love ourselves so much that we choose how we want to feel.  And we also get to choose who we allow to sit at our sacred table."

    I love that! Our sacred table. That just says it perfectly! Oh yes…….as an Empath……I especially want to make sure I have EXACTLY who I want at my sacred table.

    love this! Thanks

  6. good gracious Maria, so so awkward! 🙄 i am all kinds of hellbent about the personal space thing, so it’s beyond crazy to me when people have no sense of boundaries like that. like you, people invading my space and crossing boundaries has been a pattern my whole life, but i like the way you put the issue back to being about her too. 💜 that’s something i’ve just barely started realizing when people do this stuff to me… realizing that it’s not just me allowing, it’s also them invading, and that’s their issue, not mine. it helps me not overthink “what i did to allow it”. i still take notice of my energy in the situation and realize where i do need better boundaries, but i’m gettin’ a bit better about not taking responsibility for their intrusive energy. in a lot of situations lately i’ve come out of it feeling like it wasn’t really so much about what i could’ve done to prevent the interaction, but more that the choice to not overthink it after the fact is actually where my opportunity to grow has been.

    • Sweet pea, kudos on your allowing more self love. when I think back on my life, I spent a lot of time trying to avoid people, wanting to spend a lot of time alone. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but now I get that I was feeling others’ emotions, and trying to always soothe them and make them more comfortable, at the expense of my own needs. Not just because I believed that’s what the female is supposed to do, but because of being a light worker. Whew, really exhausting. I am so happy that I (we) are finally moving out of that role!

      And kudos for recognizing that it does no good to be hard on yourself and as you say, overthink it. That’s a self love in action.

      And now we get that not only are we NOT responsible for other people, but that they too are creating their own reality in the situation. They are writing their own script. And that being conscious beings that embrace their own soul doesn’t mean we are supposed to love everyone and everything that comes into our experience. That’s the biggest lie going.

      I know for myself, what I once tolerated as ok, I now can’t even imagine allowing into my experience. And I know that is going to increase with self love.

  7. yes Maria so much!

    “…they too are creating their own reality in the situation. They are writing their own script..”

    that’s perfectly it. when i’ve been invaded by boundary crossers, i’ve always focused so much on “what i allowed” as being responsible for the entire situation. i’m learning that being responsible for what i allow, is a totally separate thing from what others do. even if i need better boundaries, it’s still not my job to control or manage their behavior.

    and this so sooo much…

    “…And that being conscious beings that embrace their own soul doesn’t mean we are supposed to love everyone and everything that comes into our experience…”

    i went through a phase where i felt like “being spiritual” meant i needed to learn how to embrace everyone and everything. no ma’am, not anymore, this is perfectly right…

    “…what I once tolerated as ok, I now can’t even imagine allowing into my experience. And I know that is going to increase with self love…”

    the more i learn the love myself, i can’t bear one bit to be around anything that that doesn’t allow me to. 💙

    • Right, sweet pea. I think we were all inundated with the belief that spiritual equates to self sacrifice, all loving, all accepting. Martyrdom qualified someone for Sainthood. Spirituality in the ‘new age’ meant all people should hold hands and sing kumbaya around the campfire. ”Tis better to give than to receive”. Bla bla bla…

      The MEN who wrote the Bible totally twisted what Jesus was teaching. In fact, Jesus (Yeshua) was known to kick over a table or two at the marketplace. He certainly did not suffer fools. He had zero patience for dawdlers.

      Thank goddess we are moving out of the ‘new age’ era and into the era of Mastery. Of living as A fully conscious being who does not tolerate bullshit.

  8. Really appreciated this post. The notion of boundaries has been coming up SO strongly for me for over a month now – and as you say, it’s not until I’ve become more conscious of boundary violations that I realize how much my boundaries, physical and emotional, have been transcended in the past. Like it was the norm. And then, I have to acknowledge that and grieve that because it’s SAD, you know? In the natural quest for balance, it seems there is a lot of pendulum swinging – so right now I feel like my boundaries are heightened, perhaps too far in the other direction, as a response to being aware of how porous they used to be. I hope that once the energy moves/clears/integrates, it will be a bit more balanced. Thanks for reading 🙂 xo from Boston.

    • Interesting that this issue is coming up for you. It’s certainly timely. You are right, there is a grieving process involved. Interestingly for me it was a grieving of the part of me that still thinks I needed to be that old way. It felt like…..she’s leaving. She’ll be gone. It’s who I was. But at the same time there’s a part of me that’s growing and she’s still part of my past, but now she’s more child like, more playful and feels the magic of life. And what you say makes sense about the pendulum swing. Initially it’s like we needed to walk away from a lot of things, situations, people in order to figure out who we were in all of this. Or better said, to REMEMBER who we are.

      And yes, it really does become more balanced. Thanks for sharing.💕

  9. Personal space has always been a touchy subject for me. I can’t stand invasions. I just wished people would realize that not everyone is as comfortable as they are when it comes to their vicinity.
    Check out my blog on personal space: https://tstress.wordpress.com/2017/11/15/personal-space-in-a-public-place/

    • It’s definitely an issue, Ana, and I am recognizing more and more how important it is for me to value my space, and set boundaries. And not just physically, but energetically. Becoming more discerning about who I will allow into my energy.

      Especially as women we have come to accept others feeding off our energies. We see this behavior as pervasive yet normal in our culture. For example, where a man is persistent in pursuing a woman, and it’s seen as romantic, not as stalking. And women have been conditioned to ‘Give in.’

      But we are awakening from that trope, slowly but surely.

      Thanks for the link, really good article!

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