Mothers and Daughters

Mom and me, early 1950’s

I felt my mother softly nudging me to write this post.  She passed away decades ago but is always around me.

I wanted to share with you women especially my relationship to my mother. It’s a relationship that most women have with their mothers. A relationship that goes back a long, long way throughout many lifetimes. Like most relationships with mothers and daughters ours was not as close as I would have liked it to be. I did not realize how much my mother was struggling. How oppressed she felt by her circumstances and the patriarchal world she found herself within.  She too was internalizing her own mother’s grief and struggle. On down the ancestral line.

My father was very dominating and controlling of me, and my mother never came to my support.  She was in such fear of being rejected if she did so. Of being unsupported by her husband, my father.

Consequently she felt trapped, and unable to express herself fully.

So our relationship was not very deep. But I could always feel her sadness. And her frustration. It showed up in her as diabetes and heart disease. Years after my mother passed away I had not thought much about her until I saw a photograph of her that my brother posted on Facebook. It was her standing in our kitchen in her late 70s.  Every time I looked at it I broke into tears. I felt a deep grieving I had never felt for her before. At that moment I recognized that I was carrying my mother’s sadness with me all my life. Just as she was carrying her mother’s sadness with her.

I never realized how much that impacted my life and my body. I knew it was time to face the deep grieving for my mother and for myself.

It was a grieving that all women feel on some level because they don’t believe they can be fully themselves in this world. It’s a feeling of betraying their mothers if they do express themselves fully. On a level that is unconscious most women believe that they will be betraying their gender including their own mothers if they are fully themselves. If they surpassed their mother in terms of their personal freedom.

I am not talking about just a social or political type of freedom, I am talking about a personal freedom of the heart. The freedom to not carry the wounds of humanity. Because Everywoman in her DNA believes that she must do that in service to humanity

Our enlightenment requires that we let go of the old role we have been playing as women. For some of us there is a great deal of resistance to letting that go because a part of us feels that we need to carry that pain in order to honor our mothers and their pain.

This is why many of us incarnated as women in this lifetime. We wanted to be the first to create the new sovereign hearts of women. Starting with ourselves. We wanted to set ourselves free and consequently set our mothers and their mothers free on down the ancestral line.

I can tell you that my own mother who is now on the other side of the veil stands very close to me most of the time and is very proud of what I am doing. She has decided not to reincarnate until she sees that I have released the role that she and other women have been playing for such a long time.

She sees me and a few other brave women as having the capability to be the new sovereign and enlightened women.

Art by Maria Chambers

So if you are a daughter whose mother is still alive on this side of the veil, know that what you are doing here is of benefit to your mother. But even if there’s that mother and daughter dynamic going on that may be slightly dysfunctional, or very dysfunctional, just know that on a deep level your mother wants you to become enlightened.

She wants you to let go of your role of sympathy and empathy towards others. It did not serve her very well and it does not serve you right now either.

She does not want you to use her as an excuse to not walk into your freedom in this lifetime.

And if your mother has passed, feel into her. Do you think she really wants you to continue playing safe and playing small if that is what you were doing? No, she wants you to be fully yourself. She wants you to shine your light. She wants you to be free.

Can you grasp the significance of what you are doing here on the planet at this time as a woman? If this resonates with you then you are ready to step into your sovereignty. You are ready to be fully yourself with no reservations. No shame. And no apologies to anyone. And if you have a daughter or daughters, what a magnificent role model you are for them.

How incredible to have a mother as someone who is courageous enough to love herself first. Especially in a world in which that is seen and has been seen as less than virtuous especially for a woman. What a legacy you are passing down.

So it is time, daughters and mothers, to let go of the old and to allow in the new. It is now safe for you to be fully and completely yourself.

Art by Maria Chambers

And one last thing. Hopefully you have been reparenting the little girl within you. Hopefully you have been giving her attention and love. Perhaps the attention and love that you always longed for from your own mother. If there’s any nurturing to be done dear woman, it is the nurturing of your own inner child. That part of you who wants to feel free to play and explore. Perhaps she never felt that freedom as a child in your mother or father’s arms. Perhaps she never felt safe. Now you can provide that safe space for her. And the rewards will be that she will create for you a renewed sparkle and enthusiasm for your life.

© Copyright 2017 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

42 thoughts on “Mothers and Daughters

  1. I love you all my dear sisters. You are all strong and beautiful women. Thank you for being who you are.
    Maria since you like the gypsy kings I feel you will enjoy this one!


  2. Kat

    Wow Maria. Brilliant article
    My mother also has diabetes. She also has blood pressure which is under control and interestingly she was told this summer that she can lower her dosage for her blood pressure as it decreased (she had high bp most of her adult life). For me that’s a sign, that she changed her expression: she stopped swallowing her emotions but started expressing them; and that became gradually stronger in the past couple of years. I can also see changes in attitude when it comes to gender roles. Now she even says that, if she had sons, that they would have to help in the household, too. Nothing she would have said or thought years ago.
    She didn’t like my headstrong behaviour in the past; not because of me, but because she knew that my father would overreact and vent it out on her, too (and on me of course).
    She didn’t dare to react to it , because she was scared to lose him maybe, her only source of income, and create even more emotional chaos. This has completely changed. She shouts at him and takes many more freedoms than she used to. I do believe that my behaviour has helped her in this process. Seeing me going about my things, not minding what they said or what society “expects” of me, surely did help her become more sovereign

    1. Kat, I love what you are sharing here. And I agree wholeheartedly, you have been a major influence on her. Because on a soul level, we are not really mothers or daughters but are just friends, kindred souls.

      She has learned a lot from you and by the way you conduct your life.

      And now that I think back, when my dad died, my mom surprised me in her being much more resilient and independent than she had ever been while married. I give our moms a lot of credit. They were/are strong women to have endured so much.

      And it’s wonderful that we now have the opportunity to set them free, our entire lineage free, as we do that for ourselves.

      1. Kat

        ” Because on a soul level, we are not really mothers or daughters but are just friends, kindred souls.”
        Exactly. I adore my mum, but I never saw her as a mother, I’m not sure how to explain this. Maybe it was because she’s never been the mothering/protective type? I don’t know.
        ” They were/are strong women to have endured so much.”

        Very strong! I don’t understand how she could cope to be honest. It does take a lot of strenght to stay with men like our fathers, doesn’t it?

        “And it’s wonderful that we now have the opportunity to set them free, our entire lineage free, as we do that for ourselves.”

        Yeah, it feels like SUCH a relief!

        1. Yes Kat, it sure does take strength on their part. And they just got lost, as most women do, in the energies of the world they found themselves in.

          And yes, it does feel like relief. To finally allow ourselves the freedom that is our birthright. True women’s liberation!💕

  3. mom2bzs

    Love this article Maria! I’ve been realizing all this for a long long time. I learned the concept of re-parenting myself long ago. Its been a journey. I’m the only girl in my family. I took on the role of my mother’s emotional caretaker. I’ve noticed for a while, similar patterns with other women in my life. Its great that I’m aware of it, as I can stop those patterns. I won’t do passive aggressive relationships or mixed messages relationships with women anymore. I’m very blunt about everything at this point. I’ve extremely empathic and psychic, so I can feel what’s behind the fake smile. I don’t do emotional caretaking with my mom anymore. She’s taught me tons about detaching. Very hard lessons, I might add. I’m aware of my mother from a past life who’s extremely nuturing; the opposite of my mother; so this helps me tremendously. I feel the nurturing and love my mother could never give me in her woundedness. For me, its all about allowing the little girl in me to grieve the relationship I could never have with her, which will empower me greatly.

    1. Thank you mom2bzs…..for sharing so honestly. I agree, it’s appropriate for the little one within us to grieve and that moves a great deal of stuck energies.

      I went through the grieving, and also anger. I didn’t realize how much anger there was just below the surface for myself. I think the anger was even more challenging since as a woman I was not encouraged to express anger, as most women are not.

      But again, all appropriate in this process.

      And very good. I like that you are so direct with others. That is a self love trait for sure. The Master, the sovereign woman doesn’t allow feedings, or energy stealing from others. She realizes that everyone has everything they need within.

  4. mom2bzs

    Oh yes Maria, anger was not okay, nor were feelings. After all I constantly heard I was “too” sensitive. I stay away from my family of origin most of the time now. Its not who I am anymore and they’re not in a place to see anything else.

    1. Yes, I did too…too sensitive…a statement that is a by product of a very mental world. And it takes courage and dedication to ourself and this process to walk away from things and people, including our own family, if they do not support who we are. And if we do spend time with them, it’s limited for sure.

      Fortunately, we are discovering another family that we do not have any karma with.

  5. mom2bzs

    Yes; I call it my soul family. I also want to hold a space for my feelings, not suffer over them. I try to do this for others.

  6. Kat

    I hope it’s ok if I ask a kinda off topic question….
    I’ve been having migraines the past couple of days. Without proper headache though, but with “auras”; so with impaired vision (was seeing white spots that kinda distorted my vision). I’m not someone prone to headaches and I had these kind of attacks in the past, but never this frequently; while I was a teenager I had them a couple of times, I reckon it was growing pains. I have had them a few times in the past several years. Never thought it might be ascension related, but now I feel it is. “Pineal gland” came into my mind the other day while having such an attack. And it is accompanied with pressure in the middle of the forehead and later, when the aura comes into play my while body gets cold.
    I haven’t been feeling myself the past couple of days since it started and I see everything differently, like my vision changes slightly all the time, hard to explain really.
    I ready that ginger helps clearing the pineal glad and should reduce the migraines so I’m dringing ginger tea.
    Have you ever experienced anything like this and if so, can you recommend any further remedies? and are the energies a bit extreme at the moment? Cause I must be reacting to something, otherwise this wouldn’t happen…


    1. Kat
      I have in the past experienced strong headaches but not to the degree you seem to be experiencing. And yes, I also have read that the pineal gland is beginning to expand because it has shriveled up to pea size up until the light body process.

      It does sound like an ascension symptom. It seems the more and more we open up to spirit and embrace more consciousness, these points and places in our body can get triggered.

      And it’s tempting to try and figure it out, but the best thing is to just relax into it as much as you can, and trust that this too shall pass.🤗🌹💕

      1. Kat

        Yeah, relaxation is key here, definitely. And I was relaxed during past attack, maybe because I felt the ascension relation strongly. And weirdly enough there are no headaches, just these “auras” and me feeling cold. Strange, but I really feel it’s pineal gland related. Will have another ginger tea. It’s healthy overall and I feel it helps 🙂

        Enjoy the rest of your weekend dear Maria 🙂

    2. Elila

      Wow maria and kat this is so synchronistic–kat i too get terrible migraines (at some point i realized they were triggered by solar flares and geomagnetic storms, and definitely feel ascension related for sure), and there is always intense pressure in the center of my forehead. Usually the majority of the actual pain is on the left side of my head, sometimes the right, but always that pressure at third eye. I have found that essential oil of peppermint helps–i rub a drop into center of forehead and a little behind ears and it really helps. And this is strange and synchronistic too–years ago in the 90’s i frequented a sweet little coffee shop in ann arbor that had the most wonderful ginger tea. Something made me think of it recently and inspired me to recreate it and i have been having it every morning for the last several weeks!!!! (I am not usually a big ginger fan…)
      And for the mother daughter stuff–well as you can imagine SOOO much resonance there i could write all day. Since my mothers recent passing (also diabetic, also high blood pressure, also never the mothering/protective type, also married to angry abusive man…), i actually AM beginning to feel more of that lightness and joy. There are just so many not pleasant things i am no longer bombarded with on a daily basis for starters that its opened up a space to breathe fresher air so to speak?
      So much LOVE to you both
      and thank you for this maria (and Maria’s mum for the nudge 😉)–its helped me such a lot. My feelings about mom have been understandably a bit all over the place lately and this truly helps me to sort it a bit and feel more peace✨😌✨

      1. Elila, I actually was thinking of you as I wrote the post. You and your mom were strong in my consciousness. And I am so happy you are feeling lighter around her and in general. I know as times passes it will get better and better for you. You have been allowing so much more joy into your life, and trusting more and more in your SELF. 💕💕💕

      2. Elila

        It may sound strange Maria, and im not sure how to describe, but i kinda felt that you were “talkin right to me” 😊💕 in a heart way….
        And yes i am feeling more lightness in general, but still some bouts of sadness and anger. I feel like having you and this space and these people here helps me stay anchored in my Self, and more and more i feel mostly happy and calm and looking forward to even MORE joy! So grateful for you 💜💕💜

        1. It doesn’t sound strange at all, Elila. In fact, I even said to myself before publishing the post that I usually don’t post mother topics except around Mother’s Day. But something compelled me to send it out, and it’s so great to hear that it resonated with you.

          And as you know, the emotions are all appropriate and to be honored. After I went through the deep grieving I noticed that those heavy emotions around my mom never returned, except now and then some sadness.

          But you have a lot to look forward to. And I am so grateful for you too. Love and big hugs.🤗🌹💕💕💕💕

      3. Kat

        Elilaaaaaa 🙂 Yaay so happy to hear from you!
        how are you keeping? Happy in your new home?
        And yeah peppermint oil is supposed to help, I read about that and I will try to get my hands on some. Thank you for your tip 🙂
        My auras (I had those migraines without headaches) were accompanied with mental confusion. I had trouble concentrating for a couple of days, it was really bad. I don’t remember having it like this before. It has improved but I’m still not completely grounded. And the ginger thing was intuitive. I feel it does help with inner cleansing somehow.
        These days, especially today I feel like joy really wants to come out, but I can also feel reluctance as well. It’s very interesting to experience; never felt the inner brake, that keeps me from feeling joy fully so clearly. But I reckon that’s a good thing, too. When it is acknowledged it can be let go. I only knew about it vaguely before, but now I’m very aware of it. Maybe you can relate?

        Much LOVE

      4. Elila

        Hi Kat! I think im doing pretty ok, and i really love my new place. So many upgrades from my former home! And only one crappy neighbor LOL. But yes of course i do relate to what you are saying about reluctance–i mean i feel sooo fortunate to be in this lovely space, and really want to enjoy it to the max for the time that i have it (and also so i can take advantage of this higher platform from which to create my next and hopefully more permanent home) which i am mostly doing but i do feel the tug of reluctance here and there! Like a deserving thing, or worry that it wont last kind of overlay perhaps? But i am determined to relax thru it and have the most amazing holiday season of my life so far. And another related benefit is a deepening relationship with my sister, which would be a dream come true. So i am allowing all of it!!!
        Also i agree with you that something is up with the energies recently–i have been experiencing something entirely new this last week which is dizzy spells accompanied by nausea, especially upon wakening. (I dont recall ever having this experience, other than a similar feeling id have many years ago when i drank heavily…but i havent had alcohol in ten years!) My intuition says its because a huge amount of stuck energies are now being stirred up and released now that im more relaxed and feeling supported and safer in general. Also i think it has something to do with transitioning between the sleep world and the awake being kind of a bumpy ride and disorienting for some reason right now?
        I hope you are doing well too–ive been wanting to ask about the person you needed to meet up with after your trip that had some discomfort around it? I hope it was far easier than anticipated?
        Loads of LOVE back to you dear

        And Maria–oh yes LOTS of reaonance and comfort of course. And im totally huge-hugging you back! 💜🌺💜

        Oh and one more thing–a shout out to sweet pea–just wanna check to make sure you are ok too? We havent heard from you for a bit and i think of you often! Love to you too 💙💜💙

  7. senlinsays

    Boy, you picked a tough subject here, Maria: Mothers & Daughters. My mom is in her eighties, and our family has been blessed to spend a lot of time with her since my Dad passed away. And by ‘blessed,’ I mean I love her so very much and wish to honor her as the interesting and passionate person she is, whilst simultaneously, if she expresses one more bit of toxic harmful worldview in front of my own daughter, I wish to kill her with my own hands. 😜😄

    1. Hahaha…good one, Senlinsays and haven’t we all felt that toward a loved one???? Absolutely! That relationship triggers the most stuff.

      Luckily, my mom is dead. And I mean that in the greatest respect for the dead. We’re all going there eventually, right?

      And I am not kidding, it’s so much easier when they are on the other side of the veil. Then the relationship is between two souls, not that mother/daughter stuff.

      But meanwhile, maybe it’s keeping the visits to a minimum…ha, did you get that…mini MUM. 😜

  8. Kat


    “Also i agree with you that something is up with the energies recently–i have been experiencing something entirely new this last week which is dizzy spells accompanied by nausea, especially upon wakening. (I dont recall ever having this experience)”

    Yeah same here. I never felt mental confusion like this ever before. Last week was something else.

    “I hope you are doing well too–ive been wanting to ask about the person you needed to meet up with after your trip that had some discomfort around it? I hope it was far easier than anticipated?”

    It was Ok actually. I was rather chilled out beforehand and during the talk. I can actually say that it was almost nice. But I do have to have a job by january the latest, or my Jobcentre person will force me to start washing dishes somewhere (that’s not the one that I had the meeting with at the end of August). That’s what she threatened at least; I dunno if she has the power, I doubt it, but still, the pressure is here. The background is that I’m doing a storytelling course now which she only approved of because I brought a letter of intent by a production company (for film) that says they’ll give me a job after the course. They can’t though, they just did it to do me a favour and enable me to do this class, as I really wanted to do it.
    Hopefully something comes up. I’m sick of the Jobcentre anyway as well. Keep your fingers crossed

    1. Elila

      Ok now i get it–i didnt realize it was job related. When oh when will this financial nightmare for the excruciatingly weary and beaten down (from all the monumentally hard work that we are NOT getting paid for and leaving us no energy or options or interest at all for the paid stuff) pioneers resolve itself??????? We KNOW on some level that it MUST at some point–nothing else makes any sense at ALL–but holy fricken rent money–WHENNNNNNNNN???
      And can we last long enough for it to happen? Just the money stuff alone is gonna give me bleeding ulcers.
      (Would love to know your thoughts on it Maria-hint hint—this topic seems to be coming up frequently lately for many of us? 😉).
      I know its a relax and trust thing but wow it is really REALLY hard with so much breathing down our necks. It can often feel like surviving on scraps instead of feasting at the banquet of life. Im simply not interested in barely squeaking by anymore–i want to THRIVE, in EVERY way. My fingers are absolutely crossed for you my dear Kat, for you and for all of us in the same boat!! Im glad anyhow that you get to take a course that is interesting to you –i hope its super juicy 😊

      1. Elila,
        Yes, agreed, the subject of money and spiritual workers / starseeds/ ascension pioneers etc…has always been a sore one….and it’s tempting to give a quick fix answer that would temporarily satisfy the mind.

        And I think we do know the answer, but applying it is another thing.

        There are real life examples of folks trusting that what they need will be there when they need it, and folks who gave up jobs that were not matching who they are, and they found that money was there, and came in in ways they didn’t expect.

        Yet until we each experience some of that ourselves, it’s just a nice concept. And to be honest, I even wonder sometimes if it truly is about not having enough resources, because I know people who have plenty of those resources and are still in fear of it not being there, of perhaps drying up, unless they continue to work at colorless jobs.

        It seems this awakening triggers our deepest fears, two of which are safety and survival. And what intrigues me is that people with very little and people with a tremendous amount of wealth can feel the same fear,

        And some who have what seems like very little resources can feel quite prosperous and relaxed and trusting that they will be provided for.

        So I like to explore some things. In what ways do we already trust. Is it that we will get that parking space close to the cafe, or we will find a table there, even though we know it’s their most crowded time of day?

        Or any of a number of scenarios.

        In other words, when it comes to some things that are not so emotionally charged, we seem to attract satisfying outcomes.

        But when it comes to money, most of us have a belief that there is just enough. Not grand abundance perhaps, not squalor, but just enough. And if that is our predominant belief, that is what seems to pan out in our life. And actually that’s really the predominant belief in the collective consciousness.

        The challenge I believe in the new energy is that it seems to require of us a desire to be here, and to want to be here in these bodies. We can’t seem to live the old, mental life anymore, in which we are just going through the motions, just getting by, not truly being in the moment and savoring life.

        It worked in the old energy, but now it’s kind of a reckoning, kind of kicking us in the butt. Seems unfair. As you say, after all our hard work to get to where we are now, we should be generously rewarded. And I agree. We should.

        But unfortunately we are still living in an attraction based universe (hey, I don’t make the rules) and it does reflect back our predominant vibration relative to whatever subject we are dealing with.

        So what I am saying is as we integrate our soul, we naturally feel more alive, more connected to our body and to life, more carefree, more secure, and our life begins to reflect that back with better health, more resources, more passion etc.

        And I know how challenging that can be if we are experiencing being in the void, in which there is little passion.

        For myself, I am at times quite dispassioned, and at other times feel so deeply connected and alive, nothing in my material experience changed for me to feel that, yes there it is.

        And my survival fears are not as deeply triggered as they used to be, and yet if someone looked at my assets and my financial statements, they would probably wonder why I am not more nervous.

        And I wonder too. Should I be really concerned? Should I start clipping coupons and shopping at Walmart? Shouldn’t I be making coffee at home instead of doing my daily and sometimes twice daily Starbucks run?

        Should I start looking for a job?

        Why am I not more worried? Am I burying my head in the sand? Am I in denial? Yet I seem to be more and more interested in just living in the now.

        How irresponsible is THAT???

        And of course all those questions are coming from a mind that has for eons of time been in the driver’s seat, and doesn’t yet trust that there is another way of being, that there is another part of the human, the soul, that is capable of bringing it what it needs effortlessly.

        But sometimes it’s ok to quell the mind, and take a job temporarily or whatever, until more trust can be built. It’s not about traumatizing the mind either. It’s about working with the mind.

        And really, I feel each of us here who has gone through so much really deserves and needs to not only have their basic needs met, through ease and grace, But needs to thrive…but it takes recognizing themselves as the master that they are, and that they are entitled to a lifestyle worthy of a master, whatever that may mean for them.

        1. mom2bzs

          Very interesting Maria. At this point in my life, I have a part time job. Its really all I can handle right now. I used to feel “guilty” about this; like I wasn’t pulling my weight. I’m also aware that most people don’t understand where I’m at. Nobody lives inside me; so why would I expect them to? Its akin to me not being able to watch any kind of violence on a screen and a friend telling me its not real. I can’t expect someone to understand how “real” it is to me. I feel like I’m doing my healing work in this part time job, although I’m not getting paid for it. How crazy is that?! Wanting to get paid for what I do naturally?! I’m aware of healing people by just being in a room, or talking to them. The thing that’s challenging for me is Knowing intrinsically that I’m healing the collective. Sometimes it feels like too much! Like that saying “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”. Well, who the hell did “God” think I was?! That’s how it feels sometimes. Other times I soar with an energy I couldn’t possibly explain to anyone. Its so exhausting sometimes! I notice sometimes also that I take on other people’s angst and it gets stuck in me. I intend to transmute it, but it doesn’t always move through fast enough for me.

          1. Moms2bzs…you bring up such an important point…about not getting paid for something that comes so naturally…I’m not sure if you were being ironic, or if you feel that one should really not charge for those natural gifts?

            My guess is you are being ironic, because you know the priceless value of your healing work…and that people would be more than willing to pay for it, because it is probably the most important thing in their life, that without that healing and balancing, nothing else matters.

            And I have to wonder, if at times we attract the feeders, who want to extract energy from us, and tell us we are the best thing since sliced bread to come into their life, but at the end of the day they really don’t want change. They just want to take our energy, and then go back to their old patterns. And I’m not saying everyone, but some of those people expect our service to be cheap or free.

            Sometimes the more serious ones are willing to invest in themselves. And they are the ones who wouldn’t balk at paying and paying well for our services.

            And when you think about it, would those ones who want it for free…would they say to the clerk at the supermarket, hey, this food should be free, shouldn’t it? Or to the doctor who looks at their chart longer than they look at the patient, hey, Doc, shouldn’t this service be free, or maybe sliding scale?

            No, most people don’t even question those types of goods and services.

            But the notion that the esoteric isn’t as valued does exist, but our job if we so choose it, is to feel into our worth. To feel into who we are and why we are here. And if we are feeling tired and drained from giving to others, from taking on their stuff, we know that it’s not serving anyone.

            And I agree, it’s not always easy to just let those energies go. And it’s because we have been doing that type of service, of holding energies for humanity, for so long.

            And now we see that it no longer serves us or any one else. So as practitioners it can be challenging to not take on that stuff, and to keep our energies clear. It’s why we need so much alone time, and why we need to be so discerning about who we choose to allow in our life and in our energies in an intimate way.

            But I think as we begin to release the old role, especially as women, and begin to recognize our value, as the masters we are, we will naturally attract those who also value us and who are more ready to initiate change in their own life.

            I don’t know if that applies to your experiences, but it felt like a good topic to discuss. Thank you for sharing here, your own wisdom, 🤗🌹💕💕💕

      2. Kat

        Dear Elila,

        thank you for your crossed fingers. And yeah the course is really cool, I’d love to and I will keep doing that professionally and hopefully opportunities will arise. But until I can reap financial rewards of working as a screenplay writer, I want to have a part time job that helps me sustain myself. At this point in time this part-time job doesn’t even have to be “perfect”, because what I really want to do (writing) is being done “on the side” if you get me and that is enough to satisfy me professionally.
        There is no other option for me; I do not want to be unemployed and dependent on the job centre anymore ; I just do not. I do believe with every fibre of my being that all will be well, but I still will be looking for jobs ; it can’t be that hard to find a part time job that allows me to sustain myself.

        @Maria: yeah issues with safety/money is a collective thing isn’t it. Interestingly I was thinking about winning the Eurojackpot today (about 40million Euros currently) and if it would make me happier. No, it wouldn’t make me happier, but it would make me calmer. I am already happy as it is. I do treat myself from time to time with good food and just the other day I got myself a brand new not really cheap mattress, but my back is worth it. So it’s not that I think I’m not worth the money. The whole money thing has become less important for me; what still is important is my wish to sustain myself without the help of the job centre (it’s where you sign on when you’re unemployed and the government gives you money to survive basically; dunno what it’s called in the States). That is what I want. So at the moment a regular type of income is either generated with a huge lottery win (which I still hope for :D) or a job. I’m not even too fussy about the type of job anymore. I think I can find joy in numerous different activities, and I really think it should be doable. I still have 2 months to go, but I would like to have a part time job by mid december, so I don’t have to go back to the job centre anymore.
        So I have this feeling of worthiness; I don’t connect my self worth on having (the right) job, so basically I tick all the boxes for attracting a part time job, that allows me to live comfortably, don’t I?

        1. Thank you Kat, for your wise perspective….I agree about the part time work, so it gives you time and energy to pursue other interests.

          incidentally, have you heard from sweet pea yet? I know you gave her a holler. I’ve also been thinking about her. 🤗🌹💕

  9. mom2bzs

    I’ve been through a lot of friendships where I was used in the way you describe.

    I can feel the deep pain of the energies while being alone.

    1. Yes, and for myself, it’s been one of the hardest things this lifetime, to let go of others and to not take on their unresolved issues, and download them into my mind, and my body.

      I had to literally get very sick to finally give myself permission to disconnect from that role. And it’s a process, which takes some time.

  10. Kat

    Hi Maria,

    I haven’t heard from her no. I think it was elila who gave her a shoutout but I too was thinking of her. Hope she is alright.
    Sweet pea, get in touch hun. We wanna know that you’re doing ok.

  11. Elila

    Aaah yes maria–even in my own life i am accumulating more and more examples of things just showing up for me when i need them–even my current home! And i have had zero income (or unemployment benefits–kat we in the states call the “job centre” the “unemployment office” lol) since ’09, so on paper it makes no sense but somehow im still here and eating! I can absolutely feel myself moving in the direction that you describe:
    “And some who have what seems like very little resources can feel quite prosperous and relaxed and trusting that they will be provided for.” I definitely feel more fortunate than just about anyone around me and really like my life.
    I genuinely feel it more and more, and more proof keeps showing up to perpetuate it. But yep doubt and fear are deep seated and also show up, but less and less. It occurs to me reading your response that the feelings and attitudes we have around money—–
    ARE ALSO NOT OURS? Like all the sadness we’ve carried for our mothers and all the pain of humanity etc etc–our concepts around money are just one more thing thats been conditioned into us & our DNA in a not so beneficial way. For example, “planning ahead” is seen as absolutely crucial for those in my orbit. Failing to do so is seen as pretty much criminal. If you know you only have your current digs for 6 months, you had BETTER well be struggling night and day to have something all set up when moving day comes, & willing to do ANYTHING to make that happen. But im seeing how that way of approaching things doesnt work for me. So i can look lazy and entitled and blasè & ooooo yeah IRRESPONSIBLE!, or any other number of unfathomable things to those around me, becuz i have found that putting all my energy into well being, feeling good, savoring my moments and focusing on all the great things i have to appreciate (leaning towards all the juicy stuff) does more to bring me miraculous and amazing solutions than all the struggling and planning and fretting i used to obediently & habitually do! But it requires going against the tide around me & the conditioning within–& not giving a shit that others are annoyed & aghast! Tall order. But getting easier as the results speak for themselves lol.
    “For myself, I am at times quite dispassioned, and at other times feel so deeply connected and alive, nothing in my material experience changed for me to feel that, yes there it is.”
    —-yes yes yes me too. Well said! And my survival fears are also not as deeply triggered anymore either. But still lurking. I suppose it will just take time and allowing & perseverance for them to eventually fade away as i acclimate to the new way of receiving what i want & need! (Oooh thats an aha moment for me…) So a little more patience with sweet self. 😉

    And Kat–
    Im definitley with you on the worthiness feeling–i have no problem treating myself to my chosen luxuries or feeling like im worth splurges! And i am so excited about this class for you, it sounds pretty awesome & i get a good feeling from what you have shared about it. I hope you enjoy the bejeezes out of it.

    Also maria and kat–i havent heard anything from sweet pea either and i second what you said kat–please just drop us a line here sweet pea cuz we all are thinkin about ya and hoping you’re ok, love! 💜

    1. Elila
      I just LOVE that you have been sharing with us your experiences with trusting, and how your life is beautifully reflecting that back to you!!! We need real, live role models. People like you who can inspire others to follow their heart, and to live in the now.

      And to demonstrate that it’s not about being completely fearless. In fact, it’s to still have the mind doing its worrying, and doubting, but it’s just not in the forefront anymore.

      And yes, it DOES feel like we are being irresponsible, and careless, and lazy to others. And yes, we reach a point where we just can’t do it the old way anymore. It just doesn’t make sense.

      As you say, putting all your energy into your feelings of well being….that’s the secret that the rest of the world hasn’t figured out yet. 🤗🌹💕💕💕

    2. Kat


      “—-yes yes yes me too. Well said! And my survival fears are also not as deeply triggered anymore either”

      Me, too actually. The fear is not as strong as it used to be and my mental preoccupation with it kinda feels old and outdated, like a shadow of my former thoughts about survival. Hope you know what I mean.

      ” And i am so excited about this class for you, it sounds pretty awesome & i get a good feeling from what you have shared about it. I hope you enjoy the bejeezes out of it.”

      Absolutely! We are currently in the story development phase, so we’ve formed groups of 6 people each plus a professional dramatic advisor. We meet up every friday, having read all the stories of all people in the group the day before and discuss each and every story. Then we get a task for next time (usually it’s further development of the plot or characters) and the following friday we meet again, until the day we present out story in front of a panel of film/TV professional (consisting of producers amongst others). That day professional relationships might develop with people who listen to our stories. It’s really really fun so far.
      I think you can tell by the way I write about it.

      Back to the survival/security issue: I do ask around and apply for part time work but at the same time I have a weird feeling that that’s not necessary and I actually can’t be bothered to look for work anymore. Weird, isn’t it

      1. Elila

        Not weird at all!! At least not to me cuz i feel the same way about the whole “gee perhaps im gonna have to get a job” thing just not feeling right or current at all anymore. I feel like its more time to let spirit show up and show out than to chase employment if that makes sense. Its tume to see just how great and abundant life can be. And that class sounds awesome & engaging–you are correct i CAN tell by how you have been writing about it–so glad you’re enjoying it so much!

  12. Elila

    Oh maria thank you soo much for these kind and affirming words. It really helps when this is like the only place i CAN share any of this stuff!! Yes we dont need to care what others think anymore, but gotta say in a sea of eye-rollers its refreshing to get an atta-girl sometimes–not gonna lie its nice! And for sure it doesnt mean fearless. I just put the fear on a back burner and put more attention to something that feels good. Its still there, but not front and center–i refuse to give my energy to that. And a solid dose of apathy helps too (as in aw f**k it i dont care!) LOL
    So much love and appreciation to you dear friend 🌴💕🌺💕🌴

    1. Kat

      “. I feel like its more time to let spirit show up and show out than to chase employment if that makes sense”

      It does make sense to let Spirit do the work; absolutely. But I feel that I want to have a job, part-time only though. I actually do enjoy having some sense of structure again after many years of floating through life. 😀
      Maybe my problem is that I don’t know what. Maybe that’s for Spirit to decide, or inspire me at least? Getting paid for petting cats would be marvellous though, hahaha. I’d love that 😀

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