This breaking news:
After an exhaustive series of meetings with the powers to be, two prominent spokesmen For The High Colonic have announced that the ascension-embodied enlightenment experiment is being postponed temporarily until a new location is secured.
Percy and ‘Doomsday’ Glaucomus spoke on behalf of Source, stating that the ascension will be temporarily postponed.
“It’s not like we’re pulling the plug on this whole deal, and not just because we’re knee-deep in uncontestable soul contracts, but it has been determined that Planet Earth may not be the most optimal choice for the ascension process, since it has too many distractions such as gravity and the rest of humanity.”
Various other planets are being considered. The moon was dismissed as a possibility, since it doesn’t have any atmosphere. Mars has more atmosphere but the food and service are lousy.
That last ‘rib’ was provided by Doomsday himself. It seems declaring bankruptcy 114 times hasn’t dampened his sense of humor.
‘Doomsday’ is a nickname given the one Glaucomus brother, and originated from a personal history of spending exhorbitant amounts of borrowed money with no intention of repaying any of it, counting on various doomsday – end of world predictions. He ran up a credit card debt of nearly one billion dollars banking on the Y2K doomsday scenario. He confessed he was disappointed and was quoted as saying, “Who knew??? It looked like a sure thing!”
More on this story as it unfolds.
*Ascension humor by Maria
(Author’s note: The enlightenment process is at times grueling as much as it is sacred. Those of us undergoing it know how seriously we take it, how committed we are to it. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take a moment to laugh at it.)
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