???The Ascension Rescheduled???*

This breaking news:

After an exhaustive series of meetings with the powers to be, two prominent spokesmen For The High Colonic have announced that the ascension-embodied enlightenment experiment is being postponed temporarily until a new location is secured.

The Glaucomus Brothers, Percy and ‘Doomsday’

Percy and ‘Doomsday’ Glaucomus  spoke on behalf of Source, stating that the ascension will be temporarily postponed.

“It’s not like we’re pulling the plug on this whole deal, and not just because we’re knee-deep in uncontestable soul contracts, but it has been determined that Planet Earth may not be the most optimal choice for the ascension process, since it has too many distractions such as gravity and the rest of humanity.”

Various other planets are being considered.  The moon was dismissed as a possibility, since it doesn’t have any atmosphere.    Mars has more atmosphere but the food and service are lousy.

That last ‘rib’ was provided by Doomsday himself.  It seems declaring bankruptcy 114 times hasn’t dampened his sense of humor.

‘Doomsday’ is a nickname given the one Glaucomus brother, and originated from a personal history of spending exhorbitant amounts of borrowed money with no intention of repaying any of it, counting on various doomsday – end of world predictions. He ran up a credit card debt of nearly one billion dollars banking on the Y2K doomsday scenario. He confessed he was disappointed and was quoted as saying, “Who knew???  It looked like a sure thing!”

More on this story as it unfolds.

*Ascension humor by Maria

(Author’s note: The enlightenment process is at times grueling as much as it is sacred. Those of us undergoing it know how seriously we take it, how committed we are to it. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take a moment to laugh at it.)

© Copyright 2017 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers, http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

9 thoughts on “???The Ascension Rescheduled???*

  1. Barbara

    Meanwhile, back at the Rubber Rose Ranch… thank you, Tom Robbins…. the horses have decided they will no longer endure saddles and have asked instead for teddy bear blankies. The powers that be, other than the notorious brothers mentioned above, are meeting as I write this to decide whether or not horses are smarter than humans and if so…. horses go first. I say there is no better smell than a horse and I’ll follow one anywhere! Thanks, Maria, sure did need that! Love, B.

  2. elizabethsadhu

    Laughing laughing laughing…….good one. AND the irony is that the photos of the man with turban (Glaucomus brothers) is Guru Nanak, the founder of Sikhism. 🙂

    There sure are no fucking rules or anything to expect…..anything goes and we are TRYING to flow with it all……AND we MUST ALWAYS laugh laugh laugh………

    Here is a friend singing the Song of Bliss, words written by Guru Nanak (the story goes that when he was born, he sang this) …….Singh Kaur, who is singing, passed to another dimension years ago…….here is an early version of this song. I adore these two songs.

    She also sang a kick ass Prayer of St. Francis.

    I love you and your fab humour, dear Sistar Goddess Friend!


    1. Oh, geese, Elizabeth…Interesting!!! I tried using a guru type image that was as non identifiable as possible and I grabbed that one from google. I didn’t realize who it was. I wondered if I was being politically incorrect, though.

      I originally used an image of two businessmen wearing suits and hats from the 30’s. And gave them the names, Gaylord Smoot and Clive Vanderbeek. But then I discovered the actor with that last name is suing for sexual harassment.

      It’s a slippery slope when we want a few laughs without insulting anyone.🤗

      1. elizabethsadhu

        I am filled with joy….I love seeing my beloved Guru Nanak here on your site. Yay yay yay! And I hear you. People are often offended by not much.

        Guru Nanak says he is honoured to be of use. 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

        Cracking up. Love you sweet thing

        And I feel your heart….. You would never intentionally hurt anyone. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  3. Stefan

    Interesting to get an immediate confirmation of my experience at the drive-in of McDonald’s yesterday. The pickle in my Big Mac spoke a mysterious yet clear message: I am green and sour. A clear and obvious statement from Pachamama herself: this Planet is not bringing forth sweetness.
    Nevertheless, thank you for all your work Maria and we’ll meet again on the Moon, Mars or who knows Cheiron?
    Eagerly awaiting further instructions and the boarding call.
    Yours faithfully, Stefan

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s