I’m a solitary person. I spend a lot of time at home. Primarily because all of my stuff is there. And, because I am a solitary person, and don’t really have any friends right now that I can hook up with at the café, I like to go out and at least appear in public.
I like sitting around at a nice café and sipping some really good, rich, dark roast from a ceramic cup. I could never understand how people could drink coffee from a paper or plastic cup.
I’m pretty old-fashioned when it comes to coffee. I like it simple. I don’t take sugar and I use less than a thimble-full of cream. What I am saying is I like to taste the coffee.
So, I am a solitary person and becoming more so. I don’t have kids, pets, (other than a few, well-honed pet peeves) goldfish, or plants. I don’t even offer to water the neighbors’ plants when they are out-of-town.
I figured out a really great way to get out of said obligation. When I was asked previously by a neighbor if I would water her lush green plants while she went away for a few weeks, I pulled out a dead ficus, did a sheepish shoulder shrug, and told her I really didn’t have a Green thumb.
I always keep a spare dead ficus for just such an emergency.
In fact, I am so averse to being responsible for anything other than myself, that a few years ago I had sleepless nights worrying that I was going to kill my Pet rock.
As far as holidays like Christmas, it has taken me literally decades to extricate myself from having to attend mind-numbing gatherings with family and or friends on holidays.
In fact, I think this is the first Christmas season that I received only one invitation to attend a Christmas dinner. I politely turned it down and I do have to say unequivocally that this is one of the happiest holidays of my life.
I noticed over time that people I know have moved past their need for me to be at their house at holidays. After a few years of turning down invitations they figured out that I wasn’t going to break with my tradition. I think they were disappointed because they saw me as a nice buffer between them and their annoying family members.
Sorry guys…you’re on your own.
Some of the invitations came from people who were feeling pity for a woman who they saw as virtually alone in the world.
I guess people can’t imagine that a woman could be happy without having family and friends surrounding them at holidays or birthdays.
Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against celebrating if it feels right. But for most of my adult life, it just felt like another obligation to nurture everybody around me.
I find it interesting that people are afraid to live alone, and to even be without a significant other. They seem to think that they will inevitably need the other in their time of loneliness, of sickness and old age.
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your perspective, men tend to croak before women. So that leaves the female in a good or bad position, again, dependent on your perspective. Not sure where I was going with that.
But it’s all good. There is room in this world for all preferences. It’s just that mine is unique. And often misunderstood. And by some, secretly envied.
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