I don’t know about you but I am a little bored with the same old conspiracy theories out there. At this point they seem a little hackneyed. The JFK assassination, The moon landing hoax, the Illuminati, the deep state, the flat earth. So I decided to make up some conspiracy theories of my own. Won’t you join me in reviewing them?
- Women have been pressured to be thin so that men can continue ruling the world. Keep them weak and hungry. Not so far-fetched, eh?
- Starbucks is actually a front for a covert government-funded organization and has been slowly altering their patrons’ brains using coffee infused with mind-altering chemicals. The brain now craves ridiculously expensive coffee infused drinks regularly, and the government gets a tidy sum of revenue deposited in the Federal Reserve.
- The Federal Reserve is actually an Alien conglomerate of off-planet banks. Our tax dollars are actually being sent to other planets to build more Starbucks’s. So next time you see their ad pitch for their Lattes being ‘out of this world’ you’ll know what they really mean.
- The Earth is not round or flat, but rectangular. It turns out this actually has been a conspiracy theory so I altered it. It’s actually still round, but those who brought us the Volvo want us to believe that the world is ‘boxy, but safe.’
- Every time we type the word ‘Trump‘ into our mobile devices, it sends out an electronic signal that paralyzes the reasoning portion of the brain of the Far Right. Wait, this one’s totally redundant.
- The Catholic Church is actually a front for the secret malevolent government. The government is a front for the secret dark forces that are a front for the Evangelical Right.
If that last one is confusing it’s because…
- The dark forces, who are secretly manipulating your cerebral cortex (scrambling your brain) at this very moment are infiltrating your microwave. The next time you zap some Lean Cuisine, step at least twenty feet away.
- Anyone who believes that god is within themselves is doing the devil’s work. Oh, wait, isn’t that already a thing?
Paranoia will destroy ya.
Enjoy my original song, Altered State along with some interesting imagery.
© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers, http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com