What’s New in Conspiracy Theories?

Photo Courtesy of The Secret Dark Forces of the Omniverse

I don’t know about you but I am a little bored with the same old conspiracy theories out there. At this point they seem a little hackneyed. The JFK assassination, The moon landing hoax, the Illuminati, the deep state, the flat earth.  So I decided to make up some conspiracy theories of my own.  Won’t you join me in reviewing them?

  • Women have been pressured to be thin so that men can continue ruling the world. Keep them weak and hungry. Not so far-fetched, eh?
  • Starbucks is actually a front for a covert government-funded organization and has been slowly altering their patrons’ brains using coffee infused with mind-altering chemicals. The brain now craves ridiculously expensive coffee infused drinks regularly, and the government gets a tidy sum of revenue deposited in the Federal Reserve.
  • The Federal Reserve is actually an Alien conglomerate of off-planet banks. Our tax dollars are actually being sent to other planets to build more Starbucks’s.  So next time you see their ad pitch for their Lattes being ‘out of this world’ you’ll know what they really mean.
  • The Earth is not round or flat, but rectangular.  It turns out this actually has been a conspiracy theory so I altered it.  It’s actually still round, but those who brought us the Volvo want us to believe that the world is ‘boxy, but safe.’
  • Every time we type the word ‘Trump‘ into our mobile devices, it sends out an electronic signal that paralyzes the reasoning portion of the brain of the Far Right.  Wait, this one’s totally redundant.
  • The Catholic Church is actually a front for the secret malevolent government. The government is a front for the secret dark forces that are a front for the Evangelical Right.

If that last one is confusing it’s because…

  • The dark forces, who are secretly manipulating your cerebral cortex (scrambling your brain) at this very moment are infiltrating your microwave. The next time you zap some Lean Cuisine, step at least twenty feet away.
  • Anyone who believes that god is within themselves is doing the devil’s work.  Oh, wait, isn’t that already a thing?

Paranoia will destroy ya.

Enjoy my original song, Altered State along with some interesting imagery.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers, http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

32 thoughts on “What’s New in Conspiracy Theories?

  1. Your first paragraph made me laugh.

    Needed, as my honey and I are not going to go to our dance weekend (I call it contra dance therapy). So sad. Every time we try to do stuff, we both have a relapse…..I have had this flu thing for a month! I know what is really going on is that the Universe is WANTING/NEEDING me to quit doing…… Letting go of DOING and getting my self worth DOING. So I am doing a lot of BEING right now.

    Conspiracy theory: we have to do lots and lots and accomplish lots and lots to be a worthy person. ♥️♥️😀😀

    Love you tons and tons….. Loving me, loving us all.

    Thank you so much!

    1. I hear you, my dear Elizabeth….A few years ago I was sick with what I thought was a flu for about a month and a half….but looking back I see that it was a much needed rest, physically and emotionally. I was running around trying to help everyone else and was ignoring my own needs. I was so sick I couldn’t even get myself to a coffee shop!!!!! Now THAT was definitely something to be taken seriously. Love you tons and tons, too my dear siSTAR.🤗💕💕💕💕

      I love your conspiracy theory, needing to do lots and lots to be a worthy person…well said.

  2. ditto

    I heard there are some secret covered agents that have infiltrated this world and are trying to upgrade the reality for the current occupants. The agents have an eye glance that reveals themselves to their peers and their secret ops have been ongoing for centuries. They keep respawning so you really cannot get rid of them. Watch out folks!

    1. Haha…I love it, ditto! You know, I think I got wind of that one too….I hear tell they walk around acting like all is well. And they’re not easy to feed off of. It must be some kind of cult.😇😍💕

  3. PeaceNowFlower

    I have heard theories similar to yours about Starbucks and McDonalds using chemicals in their food to hurt the populations who drink/eat there. I have also heard theories about the corporate secret space program too. You apparently have only scratched the surface of this internet world. I heard theories that the flat earth conspiracy was a government infiltration into the conspiracy community so others could laugh at them. I heard McDonald’s is a government ‘culture war’ program that replaces healthy local foods with unhealthy so that the population in the areas with McDonald’s are easier to control. Not as often have I heard the Starbucks connection to such programs, but it is not unheard of to include Starbucks. I have visited some pananoid dark corners of the web. Some might think that some of these ‘jokes’ where hits on real programs.

  4. PeaceNowFlower

    I have heard similar theories about the Catholic Church only with more ‘reptilians’ added. The choice to live a paranoid life is a hard one. It is a learning lesson for those souls and making fun of them for their reality is pushing them aside instead of realizing these worlds are very real to them. A lot of America chooses to laugh at them instead of listening to them. They are used to being laughed at and it will not change their reality one bit. Yet, if you can understand how very real these things are to the people who believe them. As real as you believe the sun will rise in the morning… I don’t know what this would do, but empathy is the answer not turning their life into clowns. The reason many people voted for Trump was their belief in these realities. It is how the world works to them. It is not reasoning that was shut off in their brains, but an overrunning of fear made them vote as they did.

    1. I understand that the basis of any conspiracy theory is fear. As someone who has spent a long time in fear myself, I am intimate with how it can create distortions in the thinking process. In fact, it’s the mind that latches onto fear, not our soul, or our Eternal Self.

      If you want to take it even further, as long as we are of 3D, we are all believing in some type of conspiracy. For example, the Conspiracy that we are victims of something or someone outside ourselves. We can also call it mass hypnosis.

      I poke fun at aspects of humanity because I too have been there, and sometimes I still get caught up in them. In certain ideas floating around. They are a great distraction. I feel that bringing in a humorous perspective is a good way to shake up the energies. And, frankly, I doubt if anyone who is into any conspiracy theory that deeply would really be deterred by my article, if they even found their way to it. In fact, it would probably just solidify their belief.

      1. PeaceNowFlower

        Sorry, I was just reacting to a tendency I had seen by both sides to think themselves the ‘woke’ ones and the others in delusion. We each choose our own reality. I have been paranoid myself in the past, or at least close to it. I made the conscious choice that I didn’t want to live in that world. Even if I were deluding myself in a corrupt world, I would rather live deluded than give up my faith in the system. So I follow conspiracy theories and do not hide my IP address from the internet. The ‘government’ likely has a file on me trying to figure out which side I am on. I watch both sides and see that both are right. Haven’t you heard the universe is made of many realities? You decide which you live in. That doesn’t make any of it not true, just not true in your reality and unable to touch you because of it.

        1. I agree with you wholeheartedly that there are many truths, and each is to be honored. But those people I feel I am connecting to with my perspective are for the most part well past the distractions. But we also know how even those of us who are more awake, more conscious, can get caught up in all kinds of distractions. Just recently I found myself absorbed in a couple of documentaries that were based in that type of information. I noticed that after a while I was getting angry, and even a little concerned.

          Those were red flags for me that I was allowing myself to get distracted. Mostly out of boredom, and a little from frustration. So I had to remind myself that I was treading in an energy that wasn’t really serving me.

          The difference between those who want to walk this Planet in Mastery and those who are still deep into playing out their galactic story is…..the Master recognizes when they are playing in drama. They recognize that they have no one to blame for their reality, and that’s an awesome responsibility.

          You are right, it’s not easy choosing the reality where conspiracy theories are very real. But I would say the hardest choice by far is the reality in which we begin to take ownership of our god self.

  5. Barbara

    Well, apparently life is a box of chocolates and thus I’ve been avoiding the soft centers ever since. And as Lily Tomlin used to say, “That’s the truth… pffffpft.” Love, B.

      1. Barbara

        Agreed, methinks it’s time I try some of those soft-centered chocolates. Thanks, Maria, I confess I did not ‘get’ this post when I first read it, but ‘slept on it’ and now I get it. Perhaps it’s time to choose a timeline in the Wave. Love, B.

        1. Yep, Barbara, while it’s not always so easy to get there, we can choose what we want to feel regardless of what is happening to us or around us. I think we are all pretty tired of feeling fear and anxiety and sadness. And the ‘Wave’ is just a frequency that’s more in line with who we really are. Which is a being that is naturally joyful.

  6. Public Display Name

    Yes Chambers! 🦄
    I believe the whole universe is conspiring to make my life the greatest adventure ever. And today an anonymous stranger will drop an enveloppe with loads of money in my mailbox. The enveloppe has the letters GOD written on it, which I believe is short for Goodness On Demand.
    Amen and Hallelujah. And if you’ll be my bodyguard then I can be your looong looost paaaal.
    If I can call you daddy then Daddy you can me Aaaaal. Call me Al. Nanana nanana. Nanana. Nananananana. Boing. Boing.

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