Yes Means Yes – Setting Boundaries with The Mind

Art by Maria Chambers

We live in a world in which personal space, whether it’s emotional or physical, including cyberspace, is not respected as much as it should be.

Boundaries are crossed all the time.  We recognize when our boundaries have been disrespected physically, verbally and emotionally.  Especially women now, and all those who embody the feminine energies.  They are more sensitive now to when their personal boundaries have been crossed, even in subtle yet insidious ways, by others.

And now they are demanding the respect they deserve.

The enthusiastic yes, the Yes Means Yes is not just about dating and sex, but about any area one wishes to participate in with others.  If it doesn’t feel good, or joyful then one has the right to say no.  And they have the right to be respected for their choice.

Of course it doesn’t always work out that simply.  In our culture the person saying no, or the one giving many other body and social cues that they are not interested, isn’t always respected.  In fact, they are considered a challenge, for the other to try even harder, to coerce the other.

And of course there is the emotional feeding, in which someone, even a close friend or mate, or family members, not to mention strangers on the street, will try to steal energies.  Not maliciously, but they are hungry, and it’s because they have not yet learned to fill up from within themselves.

This type of feeding goes unrecognized often because it’s not necessarily abusive behavior  But they are trying to ciphon energy from another regardless.  We have all done it.

It’s a kind of chain reaction.  When someone’s energies are compromised by being fed from, whether it’s from another person, a group, a situation or from participating in things that are joyless, they in turn need to find someone or something to feed off of.

They, in turn will try to extract energies, whether it’s in the form of dumping their frustrations on a friend, a stranger, or they may turn to substances.

It becomes a vicious cycle.

Art by Maria Chambers

As we become more and more self-loving, more sovereign, more connected to our eternal self, we are less tolerant of feeders in any shape or form.

Just because we are more self-contained, it doesn’t mean we are not susceptible to others’ feedings.  We are still human.  But we do become more discerning with whom and what we participate.

And of course, over time, we don’t attract the feeding energies so much.


So, maybe we have cleared out most of those energies from our life.  That’s a good step.  But then we have the mind to contend with.  That dear mind knows all the tricks in the book, doesn’t it?  It knows how to coerce and manipulate.  It will try again and again to get our attention, usually with gloom and doom scenarios.

We feel absolutely no interest in doing something, and are really o.k. with avoiding it like the plague, but dear mind will come in closer, like someone trying to seduce us, and whisper in our ear, “You really should.  If you don’t, you’ll pay the price.”

Other people do it.  They do things they dislike all the time.  What makes you so special?”

If we give in to dear mind, we have just allowed ourselves to be fed off of.  Our energies have just been compromised.  Yes, there are many things we as humans have to deal with on a daily basis that do not thrill us to the bone.

There is a high level of daily maintenance that goes into these bodies and these lives.

Which is a compelling reason to not give into the mind trying to coerce us into doing things, or feeling things that just don’t feel good to us.

We want to feel enthusiastic about being here on the Planet.  We want to feel playful, carefree, and enjoy all the sensual pleasures of life, of being in a physical body.

That can’t happen if we are allowing our mind to dictate how we should feel and what we should be doing.

We can’t stop our mind from operating, and it’s imperative to feel all of our emotions when they come up.  This isn’t about sweeping them under the rug.  But it’s also not about wrestling with them,  it’s not about making them our truth.

“Because who we are is carefree, enthusiastic and passionate about being here.  That part of us wants to be with us more intimately now.”


Art by Maria Chambers

Because who we are is carefree, enthusiastic and passionate about being here.  That part of us wants to be with us more intimately now.

That’s the part that is our eternal self, our soul self.  That eternal self loves us and our mind just as we are.  And as we open up more and more to that part of us, our mind eventually calms down.  It becomes more background.  It relaxes more.

And we assist ourselves by choosing more often what feels good to us.  Whether it’s a thought, or an action.  And we listen for the enthusiastic YES.

Enjoy my song, Make A Little Noise from my album, Simply Divine

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,


13 thoughts on “Yes Means Yes – Setting Boundaries with The Mind

  1. Nadiene

    Nice article. This advice is something I have been putting into practice alot of late because it serves me better. Leaving behind the mind chatter and conttrol and replacing it with a more direct connection to my soul which gives me the cues everytime around ‘what is healthy’ and ‘what is not’. Its such a beautiful process to sync with, life is so much sweeter and way less chaotic

  2. Public Display Name

    Hear, hear Maria.
    What helped me tremendously is to listen to my mind, acknowledge it and then let my soul speak in the same way I speak to my 11y-old. “Are you scared? That’s fine. Listen, it’s just noise… ”
    Works miracles for me, my mind and I are good friends now. 😎
    Have a nice day. 😘

    1. Oh, beautiful! I love it…. I have the little girl in me that I talk to regularly. The more I acknowledge her, the less scared she is. And the more playful she becomes. ..I didn’t see it as being my mind, but I like what you are saying. Absolutely. The mind wants to relax. It’s tired of all that responsibility for things it has no clue about.

      1. Public Display Name

        Well I’m not sure if it is my mind but it works anyway. Went cycling yesterday to the supermarket, it was below zero and the ride is 45′. I ride in jeans and I never wear underpants, can’t stand it, just like I can’t stand a watch or bracelet. Anywho… somewhere in the middle of the trip my mind said: your balls are freezing – expect permanent damage upon arrival. I went along for a second. Fear kicked im. Then I said no, it’s not that cold. Besides there’s a reason why they are hanging outside of my body. They can take it! And we continued our journey. All was well upon arrival. 😎
        Perhaps not the most spiritual story, but very truthful indeed. 😍👋🏻

        1. Well, um….as we said in the seventies….”let it all hang out”

          I’ve been practicing being the Master too of late, when I was feeling gripped with muscle pain…spasms I get periodically and they can often last for a couple of hours.

          I felt them coming on, and I said, no, not on my watch. Took a couple of deep breaths, and they disappeared.

          I wish I were as successful with feeling the cold. Living in Florida helps, but even so, I begin to feel the deep freeze sitting in air conditioned starbucks for hours. I can’t seem to get my body temperature up comfortably using the method we are speaking about.

          So I am like a Girl Scout who is always prepared….layers of clothing, wool socks, a hat and heated inner soles that I keep in the car…haven’t had to use them yet.

          Having lived in Duluth, Minnesota for a while, sixty below zero wasn’t uncommon…again, in the 1970s. Just going outside was havardous to our Health.

          Was it Mark Twain that said, “The coldest winter I ever spent was the summer I spent in Duluth.”

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