Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Don’t Feed The Trolls


Art by Maria Chambers

As we move into our enlightenment, we are learning to trust.  What are we trusting?  Our feelings.  As experts in energy holding (which we no longer are required to do) and energy moving and transmuting, we are adept at recognizing when energies are not in balance.  We can spot the energy feeding trolls.

But if we don’t trust those sensitivities now, we can get hit hard, emotionally and physically.  If something doesn’t feel right to us, whether it’s an emotion generated from our mind, or whether it’s from someone else’s energies, we know it. The difference now is we don’t take it personally.

Earlier on, when we were energy holders, and we took on others’ unresolved issues, we had a hard time distinguishing our feelings from theirs.  We downloaded so much that wasn’t ours to begin with.  We were processing for others and for the planet.  Even if we weren’t consciously aware of it.

And it was totally appropriate.

But those who are in the forefront of this transformation, and if you resonate with this blog, you are….we are no longer required to hold energies.  In fact, we can’t move into our freedom if we continue to do that.  There is a beautiful purpose to letting go on so many levels of our past, our DNA, our old stories.

We are setting free our past, our families, our ancestors, mass consciousness….and ourselves.

And the benefits of setting free all of it is we get to play in any energies we choose and we never feel stuck ever again.  But it’s essential to set free the pain and suffering.  The sympathy and even the empathy.

And to some that sounds like we are trying to get a free ride.  The reality that we are now here in a different capacity translates to some as being lazy light-workers.  Like we are freeloading and living off the hard work of the true pioneers.

And sometimes we may get caught up in the rhetoric being spun by some new age communities, that there is a battle going on between the light and the dark, between good and evil.  There is a faction of lightworkers who have not allowed themselves to put down their swords.  They are enjoying being spiritual warriors.

Art by Maria Chambers

They like feeling they are defending the light.  And that they have no choice because they are being controlled by the powers to be, which in this case, is their own I AM.  They have a mission and anyone else who is not doing the same is just dead weight.

They think they are separate from the matrix of 3D but they are still using 3D concepts, duality, to define who they are.

As long as they believe there is something to fight, or to push for, that is as duality as you can get.  And it’s because they are still projecting their own shadow out onto whatever they believe they need to push at or overcome.

There is a part of them that still enjoys playing the victim.

So as we move into more awareness, we can spot the energy imbalances a mile away, whether they are from others of from our own mind.  Because even though we are transforming our old energy mind, we still have some old patterns that try to maintain control.

The part that thinks there is something to overcome, or to push against.  But it’s just old programming being played out.

Art by Maria Chambers

So sometimes we curse all our sensitivities to energy, rightly so.  It can be tiring, and frustrating.  But they serve us especially going forward.  Those sensitivities assist us to stay in balance.  We don’t get so battered about by energies like we used to.

We know what is ours and what is not.  We know we are in balance because if we got this far in the process, we are in balance.  So when anything comes into our life or our energy field, we know pretty quickly now, whether it’s something we want to wrestle with, or if it’s just an energy feeding troll.

We can trust ourselves.  And if we do, when it comes to our energies, the troll will have nothing to feed from.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Almost a decade later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

70 thoughts on “Don’t Feed The Trolls

  1. Very timely blog for me Maria. Some days I’m aware what’s mine and someone else’s. Other days I get triggered by what other’s say. I figure this is so that it can come up and out of me. Another layer of the onion that I’m healing. When it comes to family of origin, I see my mother trying to engage me in an old dynamic that I’ve left behind. Sometimes that can hook me. I’m also trying to be aware that I can’t stop myself from picking up on throughts; it just depends on whether I entangle with these thoughts that don’t feel so good or not. Some days I’m better at this than others. In other words, this energy at times kicks my ass!

    • Mom2bzs….I can relate…especially when it comes to our family…all the triggers…buttons can be pushed. I don’t think as long as we are still human we can not be triggered once in a while. And I don’t think we can really stop the parade of thoughts that come past us. But like you wisely say, it’s whether you entangle with them, the ones especially that don’t feel good.

      Our mastery is really all about mastering our thoughts and emotions. But not the way people think, not by trying to wrestle with them. It’s more of an allowing. Kind of like the wind. It blows toward us, and through us, but we don’t have to identify with it.

      And, agreed. Looks good on paper, but some days are easier than others. And I guess that’s where the self love and patience comes in. 🤗💕💕💕

  2. Maria,
    This feels like such a good learning moment for me. All my life I’ve felt the dissonance between what someone is saying and the feeling I get from it. And of course have been poo-pooed and hushed and told I’m wrong blah blah blah. So I second guessed myself for most of my life, and have been sometimes paralyzingly confused. But now it’s all changing. More and more I’m relying on my FEELINGS. People can be so clever with words and hiding their true intentions–i come from a looooong line of passive aggressive masters and therefore attracted even more of it throughout life. And I unknowingly used it myself to manipulate. But now I can see my own evolution towards trusting my feelings over all the carefully crafted phrases. I’ve read repeatedly that using our feeling center is the way forward and this experience we’ve just had was a great example and increased my understanding, resolve, and confidence! Silver linings and all that BS heehee 💙

    • Yeah, me too Elila…I didn’t trust myself throughout my life. It’s only recent years that it’s starting to make sense. Being able to distinguish mine from theirs. And being told we are wrong..reminds me of gaslighting, you know, what narcissists do. And of course, as the female gender it was embedded in the culture, don’t trust the feminine, no matter the evidence.

      Thank goddess it’s all changing now. It’s like a spiritual #metoo moment lol. We are emboldened to acknowledge our strength and our wisdom. We can trust ourselves.

      And yes, sometimes it’s subtle and for me I have found the manipulation is veiled in flattery or gifts or other forms. And I have just begun to trust my feelings, not the words or the actions of others.

      Wow, right, I agree the troll incident was a big gift. Who knew??💕

      • Aaaah yes, a spiritual #me too moment–thats a great analogy! Not to discount that movement in ANY way of course, but yeah we are standing up for and trusting ourselves in a bold new way and saying we aren’t going to let trolls or anyone else undercut our own knowing or steal energy

    • I can totally relate to all that you say Elila. Yes, me too, I’ve been told I’m wrong too, I’m just “imagining” things. Oh yes, I know the passive aggressive masters! As a matter of a fact, I told a friend the other day I can FEEL what’s going on with you, whether you say so or not. Numerous times I’ve heard someone (usually a woman) say something that was like someone sticking a dagger in me and smiling while saying it, like she didn’t mean it! Ugh!

      • Sounds like me and my mum……she says something that feels dagger like and I looked like the crazy one. ha!

        No more.

      • Mom2bzs–YES! The dagger–i was JUST thinking about how it feels like an energetic stabbing! And yeah with a smile or that “just joking! Don’t be so SENSITIVE….”

        • Oh and I get told CONSTANTLY if I call it out that I’m imagining it. Ugh! That’s how afraid people are of owning their own feelings I guess…

          • Oh yeah Elila! I’m familiar with all that bull shit! I’m just joking or you’re imagining it. I don’t put up with that shit anymore. Thank God!!!😁

    • ” So I second guessed myself for most of my life, and have been sometimes paralyzingly confused.”

      I can relate to it a lot. I think it stems from parents who constantly downplay the child’s emotions and opinions. I especially had it with emotions. My parents, especially my mother never took them seriously and repeatedly negated them so I started questioning them,too. Sooo fucking annoying and obviously unhealthy.

      “More and more I’m relying on my FEELINGS.”

      Same here. That’s why I instantly had to respond to the troll under Maria’s last article . I wasn’t disrepectful but I didn’t feel the need to be too friendly either, which is something that especially women feel they need to be. Interestingly the troll had me thinking and questioning myself a bit as well though, which is a sign that there is still some residue of the old issue within me which annoyed me to be honest. Not questioning my ascension process, not at all, but they did manage to confuse me for a little while, because of all the rubbish they were spouting. I figured I need to discard dumb stuff straight away and not give them my time of the day. It definitely was a learning experience that.

      • I hear you Kat and experienced the same! My parents also down played my emotions; again, especially from my mom. Although my dad contribuated. He was an engineer and emotions just weren’t logical. I think it does make us question them.

        Yes, I too find residue like that. I guess its good to be aware of, so we can discard it.

        • “Yes, I too find residue like that. I guess its good to be aware of, so we can discard it.”

          absolutely. Like Stefan I’m grateful for the encounter with the troll. it definitely highlighted this issue of mine and I’m more aware of it now

        • Haha mom2bzs same here my father was an engineer too!

          • That’s too funny Elila! It took therapy years ago to realize feelings were valid, they didn’t need to be analyzed and figured out so I wouldn’t feel them

      • Kat me too and I agree with you. I like your phrase about constant negation–thats it spot on. And fucking annoying to say the least lol. I was very impressed and proud (not the right word but im sure you get me) how you spoke to that person, and yes again me too that I’m sick of the conditioning that says we have to be ALWAYS NICE. It’s my knee jerk response to be “nice” or friendly even when someone is being gross or disrespectful….the other day I ran into an acquaintance I see periodically when walking, an older married man. I hadn’t seen him for many months and long story short he was suddenly going all Harvey on me commenting on how good I looked and wanting me to go out with him or go away with him….I gave him clear NO WAY, but he kept up and then said stuff like I was breaking an old man’s heart, and I just said “I know”, and started walking away while he was still rambling on. But the thing was it wasn’t until after I’d gotten away that i realized his behavior was gross & disrespectful. While it was happening I still laughed lightheartedly at his nonsense and smiled and was polite. Did I need to be? If he ever starts that mess again I think I will respond differently😒.
        The troll also threw me off and had me questioning myself momentarily but I think we all may have done that and we recovered relatively quickly and went with our feelings. It’s like Maria said we kinda got blindsided (which is also how I felt with that man I mentioned above) because we don’t see that kinda thing here usually, or very often anymore. So yeah I think it triggered some old response gunk to be released and hey mission accomplished right? I think we can all feel good about how it played out and move forward more confidently!

        • Elila, this whole disrespect toward women is a topic unto itself. In fact I have a post not yet published that focuses on some of that and I’m trying to shorten it because I think it’s too long, but I feel there is so much there to say.

          The whole thing about how to respond to the disrespect can be challenging. Our generation especially, although you are younger than me, but it’s close enough….was a time when women weren’t trusted, and not so much believed, so we tended to shrug it off.

          The burden of men’s unwelcome advances, or worse, fell on our shoulders. “How were you dressed? What did you do to evoke it? Oh, don’t take it so seriously, you should feel flattered, boys will be boys..” nauseam.

          And up until pretty recently I internalized a lot of that crap. But the metoo Movement inspired me to see how I have not trusted myself. And it’s not even the actionable, illegal stuff, but the every day, subtle, yet insidious sexism…death by 1000 cuts, that have been so entrenched in our culture we ended up with the epitome of misogyny in the White House.

          I’m not saying women have been victims, but as a gender we took on an effaceous role on the planet for a very, very long time. But now it’s done. We are now saying, ‘enough’ as a collective.

          But you are so right, it’s old stuff that gets triggered in us. No longer who we are now. I feel myself getting triggered sometimes when I meet someone from my past, and he has those ingrained attitudes about women. It didn’t feel right back then, and it feels even more uncomfortable now.

          • First of all Maria I don’t think there could be such a thing as a too long post from you….that would be called a treat! And yep it really is a whole ‘nother subject but there are so many overlaps, like the “Enough!” feeling/stance that we also feel towards trolls-the feeling hesitant to speak against them, second guessing ourselves, the confusion, standing up for ourselves & calling it out, etc. The feelings I had in both situations–the man and the troll, were similar. And especially with the man I was so taken aback by it like what on earth in me attracted THAT at this point??
            And yes it’s so insidious, all dressed up as interest and flattery. Showing interest and flattery are fine but once you get the red light in a clear NO– then STOP already! But of course it’s read as “try harder” or “be more aggressive/convincing”. I had internalized it too because my father was a misogynistic creepy violent guy just like the one in the white house, and so it was my “normal” for many years (and nope no one to this day believes me about how he treated me). And lady I am not THAT much younger than you lol, so yep I recognize what you are talking about! And also yep same here whenever I see my high school/ college boyfriend/fiancé I cringe because I can see now just how much like my father he is! (Back in the day I thought he was SO different from him, and of course they hated each other lol).
            I think your post will definitely give us a LOT to discuss here!!!

          • Yes, right, Elila, there are overlaps, with the conditioning especially as women to be nice and not make waves, whether it’s about sexual misconduct or just someone’s rude behavior. (The trolls)

            And yes, exactly, the woman’s ‘no’ as a green light to try harder, and now the ‘yes means yes’ Movement, which supports the enthusiastic yes is illuminating how so many men are conditioned to ignore body language and the polite turn down from women.

            I don’t know how many times I was told I was being seductive and provocative simply because I was smiling and engaged in conversation with a man. I can see why so many women are shut down. They want to protect themselves.

            I’ve always been very open and it’s gotten me in trouble many times. But these days I am much more discerning and cautious, because otherwise it tends to invite unwanted energies, I guess it’s the male energy in me setting boundaries.

            Yet, as you have shared, even when we are not being particularly open, the unwelcome advances continue, and are stepped up because we are seen as a conquest. As a challenge. Yuck!

            Oh and yes, the old boyfriend who was just like dear old dad….an eye opener indeed! We’ve come a long way, baby!

            Ok, good, then I’ll fine tune the post. Glad to hear you welcome the topic. It goes to the heart of the Divine Feminine and how it is impacting the planet in a much needed way. And how we are playing a vital role as the new breed of enlightened women. 🤗💕💕💕

          • Well said, Maria, and I look forward to your article. I’m sorry if what I’m about to say sounds “Jester”, but it was a serious light bulb moment for me. A few years ago a man I know, who was what I’ll term, a condescending pain-in-the-ass flirt, came up to me and said, as I was having a smoke outside, “You know, Barb, I don’t kiss girls who smoke,” and without thinking I replied, “That’s why I smoke.” May not seem like much, but to me it was a wow moment because I didn’t simper and apologize for being me, and I’m still rather pleased with myself for that auto-response these years later. Love, B.

          • Oh, Barbara…I’m still laughing at your comment…what could be a more perfect response to someone with a bloated sense of self? I hope you puffed some smoke in his face when you said it….

            Kudos. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and say some of the things that I was too reticent to say. Thanks for that. 🤗💕💕💕

          • Oh Barbara I’m laughing so hard 😂😂😂….that is such a great story. And Maria omg if I had a dollar for every time I have come up with a great return zinger AFTER the fact, well hell I could fly us all to Bali for a month and buy the hotel…..LOL

        • ” I was very impressed and proud (not the right word but im sure you get me) how you spoke to that person”

          Thank you and yeah I think it was approppriate. I don’t like to go completely wild at someone but still maintain a relatively sensible tone without the need to be too friendly. The troll surely didn’t deserve my friendliness like the rest of you here haha.

          “While it was happening I still laughed lightheartedly at his nonsense and smiled and was polite. Did I need to be? ”

          I know. It is soo deeply ingrained within us, isn’t it? But it also depends how it is said. If it was said in a funny, lighthearted, jokingly manner and your instant response is to laugh at it and with him then it is ok to laugh, but most times us women react that way as well when the guy is being disrespectful, because we are scared of angering them and him turning violent on us. (especially with men we don’t know). The other week I was walking down the street with a friend and a guy on a bike drove next to us and kept saying how he wants to fuck me and how sexy my body was blah blah (bleeergh). He then stopped in front of us and my friend threatened to call the Police and took her phone out. I was quiet all the time, trying to ignore him and not invest any energy in him. That’s my instinctual response but I don’t know if that’s good. Pricks like him need to be confronted with their shitty behaviour on the other hand, on the other hand I just can’t be bothered to react when a guy does sth. like this. I don’t wanna grace it with a reaction if you know what I mean? And I’m not a shy person usually.

          What I also find mind boggling is that old men have no issues whatsoever going after much younger women. Like when I was about 28/29 a man, about 85, came to me and chatted me up, saying that he is looking for a woman and whether I want to come with him. What the actually fuck? I just frowned at him and kept walking (It was on my way home from work when I was getting off the tram so there is no way he could have thought that I was a hooker, not that I ever dress like that anyway). And that wasn’t the first time much older men showed interest in me. You speaking about your acquaintance just reminded me of this.

          “. It’s like Maria said we kinda got blindsided (which is also how I felt with that man I mentioned above) because we don’t see that kinda thing here usually, or very often anymore.”

          Exactly. It’s the same when someone in real life is so rude that it stuns me the first couple of seconds because I didn’t respect such rudeness and I don’t come across it very often. It’s out of the norm behaviour/energy that tends to shake us up for a little while but yeh the troll encounter definitely had its good sides, too. Bringing awareness to old junk.. 🙂

          • *on the one hand

            *I didn’t expect such rudeness

          • Ah YES Kat, it is so so SO deeply ingrained and conditioned into me. Even with a clear jerk I’m concerned about “hurting their feelings” or being rude. And I HAVE tried setting that aside and just snapping back. Or not responding at all and just ignoring. Omg the stories I have of being harassed by guys and not being able to get rid of them no matter how I respond–polite, rude, humorous, ignoring, angry….none of it seemed to work ….or feel good for me. One guy who repeatedly harassed me at the beach stood over me and talked at me for a full 15 minutes trying to provoke me into responding and I just pretended to be asleep with my shades on. You would think after a minute or two he would fucking move on but nooooo…..
            And the old men!!! YES!!! That has happened for me too more times than I can count and it always shocks me. One guy at least 30yrs my senior, who I thought was just being friendly at a bookstore, floored me when he put the moves on me and said he wanted to take me to bed and that we didn’t even have to do anything if I would just lay in bed with him….wtf????? REALLY???? And I always wonder….does this behavior ever actually WORK for them?? Like what woman would say yes to that??????

            And Maria–me too on now being so much more discerning and cautious, because even having a benign conversation about rare birds at the bookstore with a little old man can get you relentlessly harassed and left feeling soiled somehow. At this point I’m not even a little open with men. I’m frankly just monumentally EXHAUSTED from all the crap over a lifetime, beginning with dear old dad. I haven’t been in a relationship with a man in 17 years because I simply have NO ENERGY LEFT FOR IT. And it’s not lonely–its actually such an enormous relief I have no words. Some men may think it’s a case of one bad apple ruining it for the rest of them, but from my perspective most of the apples are conditioned in such a way as to be sour (and clearly there are enough men [& women!] who are OK enough with misogyny to put the king of it in the white house). Even the “nice guys” I’ve encountered still have so much baggage and conditioned behaviors that they are still energetically taxing. I’m not man-bashing at all….I’m simply stating honestly how it feels to be this woman at this time with the specific experiences I have had. I don’t hate men at all, I’ve met many and seen beautiful hearts and fallen in love with what I believed was a person only to find it was simply their POTENTIAL, and that they couldn’t sustain the persona originally presented. At this point in my life I love ME too much to endure any more of it. I am …..just…..sooooo…….worn out and weary from the whole of it. The few really positive and good experiences I’ve had feel like being thrown crumbs at a banquet. I don’t feel bitter or disappointed. Just tired. A good summary for my experience is that in all the romantic relationships I’ve had over a lifetime, not once did I feel that a man was trying or wanting to GIVE or SHARE something–i always felt them trying to GET something from me. (This also happens in relationship with other females in a friendship because women have been taught and conditioned to compete with one another for men, jobs, attention, etc). The bottom line of all of this is that PEOPLE, men and women, are not feeling their own wholeness, and are trying to find it in myriad other ways outside of themselves, including flat out stealing.
            Here’s the thing. What’s happening now with women is about more than just sexiual harassment. It’s about energy stealing and us not tolerating it any more. And it’s not just about from men, it’s in any form. Friends, men, lovers, siblings, trolls, bosses, whatever. The metoo movement is something that has profoundly overarching effects in just about every aspect of our existence. Men AND women have been unwittingly conditioned to tolerate/perpetuate it and now that is breaking down and while it’s messy now, I believe all genders will benefit from it in the long run! The bottom line is we each need to find our own wholeness from WITHIN. A world full of people who feel their own wholeness wouldn’t need to take anything from another or cross boundaries.
            Oh wow this was long–sorry it just flowed out of me……

          • (Maria I can sure see why you would be having a difficult time shortening that post LOL LOL. There really is just so MUCH to say and we have been quiet for FAR too long…..)

  3. Thank you, Maria. If it helps, my biggest lessons began in the early ’90’s when I read the statement, “What you see in another is in yourself.” Yikes, because there was a lot I saw in others, felt from others that, in this world of duality, I for sure did not like! Fast forward… and I’m 68 now… did the dark night of the soul for what seemed like forever, let go of as much as I could as the years progressed, and arrived at… just as you say…. balance, but, yes, I can still be triggered, and I was in the last post and did my best to use humor to overcome my discomfort with the anger displayed by the trolls. (Perhaps I’m a ‘court jester’ in another life in this 3D hologram… I like to think that!) And just as Elila says, know that we’re with you whatever you decide to do with the angry, holier-than-thou comments. Much love to you and to everyone here. B. PS… your artwork in this article has me enthralled…. and I don’t know why and I do love a mystery!

    • Lol barbara–another jester here!!! Humor is my biggest coping mechanism (especially since heavy drinking got released a decade ago …😁)
      And yes, the holier than thou shading is another tip off or clue like I was talking about in another comment–Good call!

      • Oh, Elila, you made me smile big-time, thank you! Yeah, haven’t had a hangover in years, only to discover that hangovers and ascension symptoms have much in common! Love, B.

        • Omg Barbara you made me laugh so hard here–i have made that very SAME comparison!!! Not drinking anymore but still getting crap that feels like the worst hangovers!!! Love back to you💜

          • (As a matter of fact I’m feeling pretty darn “hung over” today after some kind of energy blast that really threw me off my groove yesterday–now it’s qeasiness, headache, diarrhea, achiness….good times!!!)

    • Barbara, wow, 68? Me, too, in a couple of months. Oh, yeah, the mirror thing. Others as a reflection of something within us. Hard getting around that one. :). And it’s interesting that as we clear our past and move out of duality the mirror thing isn’t working for us like before.

      We no longer need the relationships to see where we are at. But right, we can still get triggered. But from my experience it’s been if I am stepping back into an old, karmic relationship.

      And thank you my friend for your love and support. I’ll be leaving the troll comments that are already published there for now, as Kat suggested to show others that we mean business, no trolling allowed here.

      Oh glad you enjoyed the art…I never have a conscious intent when I create them, so they are open to interpretation I guess. 💕

    • HAHA court jester has been nickname since I was little. My little sister calls me that and I call her Lord 😀 😀

  4. Thanks Maria for summarizing it so beautifully and thanks to the trolls for highlighting the theme of the month: trusting my feelings.
    It has been an unexpected and berserk rollercoaster these last few weeks, not a fun one but one where the safety bar gets loose, people start barfing and the kid next to you starts crying. A hell of a ride.
    At the end though it seems I’ve come out as a new Marvel superhero: Immunos. Seeing fake behavior from a mile away and with the ability to make trolls disappear by using only my eyebrows.
    Hurray for that.
    Downside is that I’ve seem to have entered the zillionth Dark Night of the Soul of this lifetime.
    Warning: Approaching eternal state of torpor.

    • Phoenix, I love your roller coaster analogy. And I’m imagining the eyebrow thing, haha..

      • Eyebrow power! LOVE that LOL.
        ……able to leap towering egos and cower firebreathing dragons with the mere raise of an eyebrow…..😉😉😉

    • “Thanks Maria for summarizing it so beautifully and thanks to the trolls for highlighting the theme of the month: trusting my feelings.”

      And thank you Stefan for pointing that out. You made me realise that this has been my theme for the past month, too. I have been doing it unconsciously anway but now I’m aware and yeah the current energies are really crazy. Loads of shit coming out, init?

      • Oh my, yes indeed Kat.
        What a month… I’ve had several ‘panic attacks’ which actually turned out to be the opposite, clearing fears.
        Yesterday was bweurk again, very low. Life sucks… This morning (it’s 5 hours later than New York here) I knew why because I cleared my biggest wound: abandonment. A huge one for me with my natal Pluto and Cheiron right on the IC and MC (thé theme of my life). Abandonment is basically trust. Trust that I am welcome here, loved and guided by the Universe. Trusting others. Trusting myself and my feelings.
        It seems I have finally arrived where I wanted to be.
        What a great feeling.
        Thanks again to the trolls for pointing me the right way and also for bringing all the nice goodhearted people on this blogsite closer together.
        Have a nice Sunday everybody.

        • “What a month… I’ve had several ‘panic attacks’ which actually turned out to be the opposite, clearing fears.”

          Sooo true! It’s always clearing fears with these types of attacks isn’t it? I had them daily (or nightly) for over a decade and I felt that it was necessary because old stuck fears are being released that way. It didn’t make them anymore pleasant though lol.

          “(it’s 5 hours later than New York here)”

          You are from Holland aren’t you? I’m in Berlin, so we are in the same time zone if you are in the Netherlands right now, or maybe you are in the UK because they are 5 hrs ahead?

          ” I knew why because I cleared my biggest wound: abandonment. A huge one for me with my natal Pluto and Cheiron right on the IC and MC ”

          I definitely have had these issues, too. They manifested in compulsory thoughts that I’m gonna lose someone I love, especially my mum who already has had 2 strokes and a heart attack. I think it stems from past life experiences with me. Gladly I’ve released this issue for the most part, I can hardly feel it anymore, cause as you know it is a biggie. I’ve been into astrology a bit, too and my Pluto tightly squares my moon and the ascendant plus it is in the 4th house natally (it trines my mercury which gives me a very inquisitive, intuituve and probing mind. I was born to discover the deep depths of my soul and die a thousands deaths in order to be born again. HAHa that sounds so exaggerated but that’s how it felt. Pluto is about transformation after all.

          “Abandonment is basically trust”

          Absolutely. At the end of the day it always seems to boil down to trust, doesn’t it?

          “Have a nice Sunday everybody.”

          You, too Stefan. It’s sunny here in Berlin today so I’m gonna go for a nice little walk 🙂

          • Same here, Pluto in 4…
            I was wrong, it is 6 hours difference. Also, viele Grüsse aus Belgien und noch ein schönen Sonntag liebe Kat. 😉😘

        • Wow Phoenix, that’s a BIG one; abandonment! Thank you for reminding me of what I need to remember; that I’m welcome, loved and guided by the Universe.

          How awesome that you cleared fears!

  5. 🎢🤨 whoo whatta post.. me and kitty flow hanging on to each others clothing! 💕😁

  6. oh wait.. comment for why are you still here.. lol i guess for a good reading day with a talking cat.. 🙀☝️🥑🧀🍇🍒🥥🍕🍤🍪🍲

  7. Thankyou. Ive been so absorbed .. switching back and forth trying to keep up not miss anything that was going on live while waaay back in 2013.. ha ha .. having so much fun! cheers everyone., whoever you are and whatever part you play.. 🥂 BLESSED to BE!!

  8. love it! “We are setting free our past, our families, our ancestors, mass consciousness….and ourselves.” And my husband’s ex-girlfriend……heehee

    I can so relate ELILA!!!!, to what you say about KNOWING when someone says something and you KNOW it is not so. “All my life I’ve felt the dissonance between what someone is saying and the feeling I get from it.” I AM with you 100%!!!!

    And agree with Barbara….the art is super fabulous! Always……but this one is awesome.

    Loving this tribe! I love me and I love you all!

    Thanks dearest Sistar Goddess, Maria! muah love you

  9. Danke Stefan 🙂 Dir auch. Bist du deutsch?

    • Nein aber Ich liebe die Sprache. Oder ist es der Sprache?
      We don’t have ‘der die das’ in my language, flemish.
      I was born in 74 and still live in Flanders, Antwerp.
      I was in Berlin once during the Christmas period some years ago. Did not like it a lot but perhaps it was simply my mood that affected my view of the city. And perhaps also because Berlin automatically reminds me of Christiane F., wir kinder from Bahnhof Zoo. Not the happiest book I’ve ever read… 😌
      And what about you? Born and raised in Berlin?

      • Die Sprache 🙂

        Oh I love “Wir Kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo”. I think I read the book about 5 times. It is so well written, but also dark, you are right.
        No I’ve been living here for the past 6 years (born in ’81 in Southwestern Germany to Croatian parents). Lived in many different cities in Germany and England and ended up here in Berlin 6 years ago. I absolutely love it 🙂 And yeah sometimes our mood can definitely affect our view of the city we are visiting.

        • Die Sprache. Vielen Dank.

          I’m glad you love Berlin. Couldn’t live in a city anymore, lived in Antwerp for 10 years and was dying there without knowing it. Nature, trees and quiet is my cup of tea. And some asphalt for skateboarding. 😉

          I was in Croatia once as well, visited Zagreb and a small town called Velica Gorica or something. With a guy who talked for 3 days, from the moment he picked me up at the airport until he dropped me off. Those days I thought it was impolite to say he should shut up. I’ve grown older and wiser fortunately.

          Noch ein schönen Abend Kat. 😘

          • ” With a guy who talked for 3 days, from the moment he picked me up at the airport until he dropped me off. ”

            i had to laugh when I read this, but I can imagine it being really really annoying. Sorry you had such an experience in Croatia. But the country is really beautiful. You should visit the coastline, especially Dalmatia, where my family is from. It’s stunning

          • Please do laugh, I laugh with it as well now.
            I liked the people a lot, they were very friendly. And food was cheap.
            Dalmatia… Is that Split and Dubrovnik? In fact it is one of the few places I’ve always wanted to visit but never did. Someday perhaps! Will bring earphones just in case people there talk a lot as well.
            Have you visited Belgium?

  10. Super conversation going on, thank you! About fear of abandonment… yes, seems to be a large and intimidating part of the process… if it helps, having released everyone and everything I could and arriving at the stage of, “Oh, no, what have I done?”, I had some bodywork done, and yes, fear of abandonment was still lurking in my solar plexus and heart chakras. Darn! But the wonderful lady who did a session of Body Talk pulled that fear right out of me! Truly, the feeling was quite violent, not in a destructive way, but a huge whoosh that literally lifted me up and almost off the table, followed by lots of tissues for my tears. I highly recommend it, Body Talk, that is, or if that’s not available where you are, and isn’t it lovely that we’re all over the Planet in this Community, then Reiki might do it, too, if you specifically ask the practitioner. Love, B.

    • Body work is a great idea with the right practitioner, even a good massage. I am long overdue. It really does help move stuck energies. And it sends a message to the body that is positive and loving. Thanks Barb, a good reminder for me.

      • I want to add, if bodywork doesn’t resonate, there are other ways to nurture the body, long salt baths, dry brushing the skin, or anything really that helps us feel connected to our physical vessels.

  11. I highly resonate with your blog as it really speaks to me on many levels. Everybody is perceiving their own version of reality, and there’s always something they need to fix up, change or battle. They are still running on the programing that everything has to be a certain way or it’s doomed to be challenged, still not knowing that this’s just a game they chose to play on a soul level. And yes, I do resonate with that sometimes that old stagnant programming tries to make itself valid again by all means necessary, but it simply fails to do so because our experience is almost an intellectual truth now.

    • Abdullah, I’m happy you resonate with the blog. And, agreed, most people are not aware that they are choosing their version of reality, and it’s their soul choice. And, yep, that old energy crops it’s head…the mind trying to hold on to the control. I think that’s the most challenging aspect of this transformation. The mind not wanting to let go. And the good news as you say is our experience is now much more integrated. Thanks for your perspective.

  12. Elila and Maria, just wanted to say that reading your convo about women feeling the need to be friendly was a fucking treat. I soo enjoyed it and can’t wait for your article on it

  13. I can relate here.. the nice and polite response. i remember well holding space for people as they searched to feel the kind of love they have not been able to reach in themselves, or the relationships. ive understood all that and in an effort to remain available for that search, began to experience serious depletions of my energy.. its been a hard lesson to learn to set boundries when my essential nature wants to love and accept people.. being nice free and joyous seems to be an invitation especially around men, to misunderstand what that energy is there for.. it becomes a magnet for darkness to want to use you because you feel safe, and draw you into any number of undealtwith issues,,, and forget about speaking your own mind and heart in these relationships.. it becomes all about them because its the only common ground possible! ive thought about this a great deal .. spent too much time blaming myself for being so selfish and believing for a time that i had a responsibility to lay myself aside for the good of others regardless of how it effected me.. i eventually disconnected completly from a whole small town retreating deep within the safety of my home and soul.. if the issue is learning to set boundries with others, that itself takes more focus than ive been willing and or able to give.. so i devise ways to set my own boundries with myself.. when i feel the need to hide and protect, i honour that, just like a cat does.. they are very cautious in unfamiliar territory.. being myself is not possible, sadly, around most people iam currently exsposed to without a loss of some kind and im tired of losing, even the smallest thing.. ive joked with myself to invent a motorized paper bag for use when travelling outside my door born from the anxiety felt when needing to shop for food and wanting to avaoid social niceties and interaction in general… with the click of a switch the open face bag can be closed with one way mirrors for the eyes.. a clear message for privacy! and mirror mirror at the same time..sunglasses dont work because people will still try to engage you or have access to whatever your doing.. I dont like being an open . book and an invisibility cloak would work just fine, instant gone! so am i resisting something, refusing to engage? I think not. i dont feel responsible for others anymore! i never feel the need to hide with nature or my kitty, so what does that say? in nature iam free period. i can do say be anything.. its allways perfectlly reflected resonated and feels divine. too much to ask of other people? nope.. im not asking. be who you want to be and ill do the same. if we meet there in harmony, lets be friends. you can allways find me with nature.. i just dont see how anyone benefits with fake nice and polites, or purposefully shining the light for others to see.. maybe they will benefit more by my paper bag by my solitude because someone is finally being honest.. my light has a switch to turn on and off that i felt necessarry to install.. for those not ready, they will never know who i really am, and im ok with that, finally.. I have to trust that one fine day i will find others to feel safe with…

    • Prring, that was utterly beautiful, thank you, and me, too, I’m trusting that one fine day I will find others to feel safe with….” I feel safe here at this blog and I am grateful for that, but at this point in my life here in the small town in which I live, I am my own best friend, and only this morning I needed to remind myself to stop trying to ‘fix’ things for others. Love, B.

  14. Im glad Barbara and Thank you. not exactly sure of the issue you mention, but fixing things for others sometimes seems so natural.. arent people supposed to help each other and work together like whales in a pod.. or elephants in a herd? each lending there strengths to compensate for anothers weakness or immaturity.. In a sane world i wouldnt think fixing something to be a bad thing.. i just dont know anymore, much.. Its important for me to breath easy and look to the night sky for comfort, it is allways there.. silent, vast, and seemingly a million miles away, but somehow it holds the space I need when nothing else makes sense.. love, P

  15. ” Will bring earphones just in case people there talk a lot as well.”

    Hahaha do that. But Dalmatians are much more chilled out, especially in the summer time. There is something called “Fjaka” which could be translated with “a psychophysical state of mind when there is an aspiration for nothing and to do nothing.” and it’s exclusive to Dalmatians. You’ll see when you get there.

    And yes Split and Dubrovnik is Dalmatia. Both are so beautiful, especially Dubrovnik. Check out Primosten, that’s where my family is from and where I’ll be going soon again. It’s sooo beautiful ❤

    I haven't been to Belgium yet, no, but I'm interested in visiting Brügge (or Bruges). It looks really lovely. What would you recommend visiting in Belgium?

  16. What do I recommend? Well our national statue is a boy that pees. No joke. So don’t expect too much from Belgium.

    Brugge is very small. I once went there for a weekend and got out for a walk on Friday evening. On Saturday morning they told me I had seen nearly everything there is to see in Brugge the evening before. Haha, still laughing with that. Luckily I brought a book to read. Couldn’t go home because I had booked 2 nights… hehe.

    I can show you Antwerp. My favourite city because it’s more a big town. And the only city I know.
    Primosten: let me see… Sea, sun and fjaka. I think we have a deal.
    PS: my e-mail is

    • Oh Manneken Pis, I know him 😀 And yeah, will definitely get in touch in you once I come to Antwerp. Will store your email now and write you one as well so you have my email address 🙂

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