The Angels Who Wanted Too Much

Image by Maria Chambers

Many on the ascension path feel frustrated because they see the world as very shut down, and they wonder how they can make any difference to that world.  They say, “We are here shining our light, and I don’t see the world improving substantially.  How do we penetrate the mind and heart of a humanity whose mind seems made up?”

Many feel that when we share our light through our various forms of expression, through our art, music, written word, spoken word…..that those asleep are not budged from their stance.

That we are essentially preaching to the choir, to just those who already get it.  Those who are awakening or are awakened to who they are, to their eternal self.

I say that both things are happening.  We are shining a light just by being here, and that light goes out to serve all of humanity.  Not by trying to get them to understand that they are god, also.  But the light is disruptive.  It will make their life more uncomfortable for them, at least initially.

Just as it did for us.  Most won’t  know why things seem to be falling apart, or why things aren’t working for them like they did before. And that’s because most of humankind is at the early stages of their ascension.

Those of us who are in the later stages of our ascension process are no longer holding energies for humanity.  There are others doing that, others taking our place as the energy holders.

But that is even changing, as we can see as we look at humanity now.  There is unprecedented shifts world-wide, in politics, in the cultural climate at large in the world.

Because consciousness is primarily a feminine presence, and that presence does not cater to anyone, but simply is, we are seeing the fears and anxieties explode in many who are not comfortable with their own feminine.

We are beginning to see the women, or the feminine energies on the planet unplug from those who relied on them for nurturing.  Especially the masculine.  The masculine now has to face his own feelings, and that is causing him to grow even angrier.  More fearful.

He is seeing the feminine unplug her support that was based upon imbalance, and now she is taking back her energies, and building her own network of support and strength.  She is becoming more vocal, more visible, and is determined to be seen, for the first time on this planet as a first class citizen.

The masculine feels vulnerable, and threatened.  No, the patriarchy isn’t going to suddenly collapse, but there is a deep change underway.

But those who are awakened, and are owning their mastery are not trying to change the mass consciousness.  That’s not going to work. The rest of human kind needs to go through their own iterations in their own time.

But we are here to also be of service to those who are more closely following us, those who are further along in their awakening process.  Those of us on the forefront of this major transformation would have loved to have someone like ourself to guide the way, especially when we were going through the dark aspects of this process.  And that is what many of us are here for at this time.  We are beacons for those who follow.

And that guidance is manifested by just being who we are, and doesn’t really require heavy lifting at this point.  We are no longer holding energies or processing energies for anyone.

And that in turn frees up our energies so that we can serve in a new way.

As women especially that new way will seem very selfish to others who aren’t ready to set themselves free.  Even those of us who know better are sometimes reluctant to unplug and may still be allowing some feeding off our energies to take place.

But we know that we are going to have to allow others to take ownership of their own energies and their own emotions.

Image by Maria Chambers


We are the angels who wanted too much.  Before we incarnated we wanted to dive deep into a very dense, very asleep environment, and we wanted to bring a new consciousness to that environment.

We wanted to be the living, breathing examples of a human who is also connected to their own soul.  We wanted to know what it would feel like to be both human and divine, while still being in the physical.

What a concept!

Very exciting to the angels.  Couldn’t wait to get here.  And of course once we are here and going through a lifetime of so much forgetting, many of us got lost along the way.  And those of us who did awaken, and are still here, are baffled at why it is so difficult.  Why it seems so slow.

Why at times if feels impossible.

Are we just a bunch of amazing angels who wanted too much?  Maybe.  But I am proud to be among those angels.  I am honored to be part of a magnificent group of souls who wanted to explore their own consciousness, not really knowing how it would turn out.

Image by Maria Chambers

A brave group willing to take extraordinary risks.  Pushing the envelope of human evolution in a way that has never been done before.  Willing to be among the first.  Knowing that they would not be acknowledged by their fellow humans.

By all counts, a group that should have left the planet by now, considering what they have gone through.  And many have left, and continue to leave.  And they are honored just as much as those who stay.

Is it shear determination that keeps us here?  Is it curiosity?  Stubbornness?  Nothing better to do. LOL.  A good cup of coffee?

A sense of coming so far so may as well stick it out and see what happens?

I started this post talking about how we see ourselves in relation to the rest of the world, but I sense that we know from a place of wisdom that the world will continue to do what the world does.  But we do love humanity.  We wouldn’t be here otherwise.

And we are not turning our backs on this world, but we are no longer plugged into it the way we were before.  And that is the best place to be in order to be of true service to that world.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

48 thoughts on “The Angels Who Wanted Too Much

  1. Maria, great post! I would say that I’m here cause I love to be a witness of this worderful changes we’ve been through. I think humanity is one of the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, the capacity to grow and to learn among all the things that was against it.. it’s purely beautiful! And even having the feeling of not knowing what to expect or what’s coming next I love to be physically close to this big family!!!!!! We sure became a big family!!!!! I love it!!!!!! And of course I love to read what you have to write!!!!!!!! I don’t know if you ever heard Grouplove, but I’m listening to Colours rn and it’s a wonderful song about accepting our feelings and emotions, I think it fits well to the ascending fellas out there! ❤ Xoxo

    1. Tainara, your English is perfect…you are able to convey your thoughts and feelings wonderfully!

      I like how you describe your experience here. I will give a listen to the song, and thank you for sharing.💕💕💕

  2. Barbara

    Super post, Maria, thank you! I remember when I started to remember why I was here. That was a heart-mind blower and for sure I thought I was being selfish and foolish, much guilt, fear, condemnation from others… doubt… you name it, I felt it, as I’m sure we all did…. at first. Years went by as I dodged my own bullets over and over, but finally, when I was truly on my own and in my sanctuary, the learning and letting go process ended. Well, let’s see if this experiment can come to some sort of satisfactory conclusion if only for the angels who volunteered. I often hear them applauding, or in my case, hear my galactic friends. Thanks again, love, B.

      1. Barbara

        I see the process as some sort of Galactic Boot Camp. For those who have read ET101, the military metaphors are appropriate. Get this one under our belts without deserting, protesting (too much) or projecting… as Elila said, “Methinks thou dost projecteth too much.” (sorry, Elila if I don’t have that quite right, but I loved the expression)… condemning, judging, firing a shot at any other but ourselves for doing what needs to be done, and hey, then we’re out of here never again to have to dodge bullets, our own or anyone else’s. I have a feeling that this particular Earth Timeline or version of Planet Earth or whatever folks want to call it, whether in particle expression or wave… ; ) is always available for those brave enough to attend it. Do this one, my friends, and we can move on… up… sideways… wherever, but graduating is just round the corner. And darn it, we’ve earned it and we can leave it in love for those who come behind to find, just as you say, Maria, that “… the world will continue to do what the world does”. Champagne all round. Love, B.

        1. Elila

          Barbara you crack me up! I think you quoted it just right– “thou” being the unawakened among us (surrounding us? Firing away? Lol)

          And Maria I was thinking while reading this post that at this point I think I’m here because there MUST be some point to all of this mayhem we have been thru, because I can’t IMAGINE what else would have convinced me to jump in, and truthfully I really REALLY want to see some fruit (and veg!) of the labor!!! (And not just the raspberry floating in the champagne glass Barbara is handing me… I mean if there isn’t some kind of rest and payoff for all this –then why? Like who would volunteer to go thru the labor of childbirth without knowing or at least assuming/strongly believing there was a baby at the end? (A nod to this rebirthing of ourselves that we have undertaken). I can’t imagine signing up for ascension just “for the experience” or cuz it would look good on my metaphysical resumè. And i know im a little more selfish (& probably lazy ha) than doing something solely for the benefit of mankind (this phrase makes me think of charles schultz saying “I love mankind. Its people i hate.” Cracks me up every time lol). So yeah I am also curious, and yep I have stuck around this long so why not see it through, and the biggest one for me is the idea that I could give up and leave the planet only to find out on the other side that if I’d just hung in there ONE MORE DAY I would have been stunningly gifted my dream beach cottage and a nice passive income and my health and eyesight would have returned……
          Also I’m the kind of person who can’t walk out on a movie–even a dreadfully bad one, til I see how it ends. If I do it has to be early, before I get too attached or invested, and alas it’s too late for that now!
          So who wants more popcorn? 😀

          1. I so agree, Elila, that we have earned a vacation, replete with great health from head to toe, and a flow of money and resources. Without those, beyond a certain point, being here would not make a whole lot of sense.

            It’s not about self sacrifice, and perpetual labor pains. Those have no place in the new energy. I know that I vowed this would be my last lifetime here, so I’m sure it’s why I am sticking it out. Because when I leave, I have no intention of coming back for another round.

            It’s now or never.

            So, you want to stick around to see how the movie ends?….o.k. Pass the popcorn, and put some real butter on it! 😄

          2. Elila

            Exactly Maria– it just doesn’t make any sense to me to be here at all without the basics, and I am DONE with the “pushing” part of labor. It’s time for things to flow in easily because struggle is SO OVER in my range of capability. And truthfully I can’t see myself coming back here either, unless perhaps I KNEW that it would be easy and fun from start to finish.
            So be right back, I’m off to the concession stand for the supersize popcorn tubs lol

  3. Thanks dear Sistar Goddess! Yet again. 😉😉😉😀😀😀😘😘😘♥️♥️♥️

    Oh yes oh yes.

    And ironically, my honey and I decided to put our phones upside down and leave them downstairs right before dinner at about 6 pm. Unplug. The first night was hard. And it showed me how OFTEN I look at my phone. Oy! We were going to do it as a week long experiment, but I am thinking this is the best way to be. Simplify. And it is easy for me to keep DOING. More being, less doing.

    I have always loved the Four Agreements and after talking a lot to my hubby, he created a personal to me Agreements list. I will list below. He is helping me do less, be more, sleep better, etc etc etc. As the (not good enough) daughter of a narcissist mother, I have struggled my whole life to feel good enough.

    Anyway, much love and thanks!

  4. I had to get to my big computer to share the agreements that my honey created. This tells you a lot about me and also how well my hubby knows me. (27 years ❤ ) We talked some about this. I wrote some agreements for me and did not show him. He then showed me this which included what I wrote. Ha! The man KNOWS me!!!!!

    Four Agreements

    It’s not my problem
    Limit your obligations. You don’t have to fix the world by yourself. Nor do you bear sole responsibility for the success or failure of group efforts. Periodically ask yourself, whether acting alone or with others, “Am I doing too much.” Don’t pander to friends and acquaintances who won’t do their share or don’t respond when you’re doing them a favor.

    Unplug yourself
    Talking face-to-face is very real. Talking on the phone is sorta real. Social media is intangible reality. Its absence of voice inflection, gesture and eye contact sometimes leads to unwarranted expectations, gross misunderstandings and hurt feelings. We can’t avoid using the Web of course; who can? But protect yourself media-wise by not assuming too much, and when in doubt, asking for clarification. Most importantly, stay connected to real reality by consciously limiting your exposure to social media.

    Focus on making life fun
    Balance activity with relaxation and embrace them both. Use your pool of energy and your capacity for tranquility to fully experience the joy of living. Dance, walk, hike, bike, make love, help others and stay connected with your friends. But remember that sleeping, soaking, reading and meditating are essential activities for you as well, not afterthoughts. If your activities aren’t bringing you joy, change them or change how you do them.

    Remember you’re retired
    You’re not working for anyone anymore. You don’t have to account for your hours. You’re always on vacation. If you’re not getting enough sleep or feeling stressed, slow down, focus on what’s important to you and smell the flowers.

    1. I love the list, siSTAR goddess…absolutely on course, and self-love at its core.

      And yes, the smartphones and internet can be an issue….I know I am guilty of keeping my iPhone close at all times…of course the technology has made it possible for all of us here to connect with each other, so in that sense it’s a vital tool. But I agree, it’s also a way to zone out and not connect with others one to one.

      It’s unsettling to hear that the first two things our dear administration (DeVos)is going to budget cut from the school system is art and music. That tells me a whole lot about what the priorities are at least in America. It’s becoming more mentally focused, and less and less the imagination being used. The people should be fucking fighting to keep art and music in the schools just as hard as they are fighting for more gun control. Anyway, love your wonderful list. Thank you for sharing it. 🤗💕💕💕💕

      1. Thanks honey! ♥️♥️♥️♥️

        I remember when they were cutting PE and art when my kids were in grade school. They are now 34 and 37! Not that I am old enough, in fact I tell them they are older than me. 😉😉 Shifting back and forth and back and forth.

        It is hard to look at a lot of 3D shit. Crazy ass reality show, eh? It’s not real. At least that is how I handle all the shit.

        I just had my third night in a row of awesome sleep! Wow! Putting down that phone at night is looking like it will continue. I didn’t realize how often I reach for it! Ha! Until it wasn’t there. And YES such a blessing to connect with all my kindreds!!!

        I am a lucky woman and continue to wallow wallow wallow in gratitude.

        Love you all!!!!

        1. Yes, it’s been an issue for years in schools. In fact, I remember as I was attending graduate school, working toward my MASTER OF FINE ARTS degree, a professor said to my class, to make sure we had something else to fall back on, to not depend on an art career for financial stability.

          Imagine someone taking a doctorate degree in medicine being told that. Imagine if the teacher said, hey don’t expect to get into medicine after you have spent 100 thousand dollars on your education. You may want to brush up on your typing skills.

          Aahhh, I need chocolate. 🤪

          1. No shit! That is crazy!

            My hubby has a degree in art and it has served him well. He said that things would often be thrown at him at different work places because of his degree. Hahaha!

            You, beautiful artist goddess, clearly are soothing our savage souls (😉😉😀😀♥️♥️😘😘⚡⚡🎶🎶) with your amazing multi faceted art!

            THANK YOU!!!!!

            Love love love

    2. Elila

      Elizabeth this is fucking amazing. I’ve never met a man who could think like this (every man I’ve ever known seems to think I need to always be doing more, more, MORE!)–does your beloved woke bae have a brother LOL??? This is beautiful and I’m sooooo glad you are loved like that. And I think we could all benefit from these agreements!

      1. Thanks Elila! He is amazing…. And of course, frustrating at times. Hahaha. Like we all are!

        You are cracking me up!

        He is a Ton of fun, also. Although very masculine, I think at times he forgets he is not a woman. He relates to women very well. Hard to explain.

        He does have a VERY interesting brother, who is 73 or so and probably on the spectrum. A classic hoarder, as well. 😀😀😀♥️♥️♥️ Sweet man.

        I feel very blessed as does he. 27+ years together. Yay!

        Wallowing in gratitude,

        Love US ALL!!!


        1. Elila

          Ahhhh well the hoarder bit is a deal breaker for me as a die hard minimalist LOL. But it’s so great to know men like your hubby exist, and that happy relationships are possible. I do not personally know a single person in a relationship I’d envy, so it’s really lovely the way you talk about yours when most people just seem to complain endlessly! Bless you both and love back to you, Elizabeth 💜💕💜

          1. Yep….the hoarder thing I cannot handle. 🙂 thanks for the kind words, Elila! My hubby and I spend at least 50% of our time laughing…….and another large portion dancing……and hiking and bicycling……..

            love love love to you and to us all!!!!

          2. Yep, Elila….if I come back I would infuse myself into one of those nanotechnology bodies, once of course they work all the bugs out. That way I wouldn’t have all the ancestral stuff to deal with, and parts could easily be replaced when needed. And they can be turned off when we are ready to depart the Earth. We could come in, have some fun, and after a while, simply leave. it sounds crazy but this option will probably be available at some point. Since our soul can infuse itself in almost any form, why not?

  5. Elila

    Ohmigosh yes the laughter is a non-negotiable requirement for me going forward, like if I were to ever embark on a partnership (I almost typed “again” there, but it occurs to me I’ve only experienced “coupling”, not really true partnership…), and it would have to be someone laughing WITH me, not at my expense as in the past!

    And HELL yes, Maria, the whole “coming and going” aspect of earth visits would have to be a helluva lot easier and no ancestral bullshit inheritance baggage for petessake!!! And the physical maintenance factor would have to be GREATLY simplified. I saw a kid wearing a Snoopy shirt yesterday that said “Please don’t make me do stuff.” and it cracked me up and made complete sense for me at the same time, so I’d probably have to come back in that shirt LOL LOL.

    I fucking love you guys right back!!!! ❤❤❤

    1. Barbara

      Don’t plan on doing any kind of movie sequel to this version of Planet Earth myself, but, if for some insane reason it becomes necessary (and if it does, then there goes free will/choice, which I have some serious questions about in the first place) it would definitely be in keeping with the Peanuts theme… count me in as Woodstock… right name, right music, and a very, very smart little bird. Had Snoopy figured out all the way. Hold the butter on my popcorn, please, Elila, but double salt! Love, B.

      1. Elila

        Oh Barbara I cracked up at your comment about free will–i often wonder about it/seriously question it myself! I’m starting to get a little peeved at all those saying we create our own reality–i don’t think this is what my lovely lively creative self would create for us, sooooo, yeah. Hmmm.

        Also, I was thinking as I read this post that in regards to our effect on others or humanity at large–ive noticed that it seems my own effect is something I may never know, but it’s happened several times that someone years later will tell me about something I said or did that somehow influenced them in some positive way that surprises me. It’s happened enough times that I try to just be as true to myself as I can and just be me and leave the rest up to spirit. We truly are having an effect in a real way, just by being here and being examples, we just aren’t aware of it necessarily, and so much of it we may never know about. But I think we can trust that we ARE influencers in a positive way.
        That said, that is just one more reason I need my “free will” and higher self to help me successfully create a really lovely peaceful life for myself not just because yes we fricken deserve a break today, but because if we want humanity to follow us into awakening, then it’s gotta look good from the outside too! I want people to see me and my life and want for themselves what I have, and I’m not talking merely about materially. I want others to see and have a solid example that self love is THE way to a happy, healthy, abundant, carefree, fulfilling life. I want to show that going within and putting yourself first isnt a recipe for disaster or to be feared! I want to be such a great representation that theres no sales pitch needed–those who notice the light and joy will come to me and want to know the secret. Ascension should sell itself so to speak lol. Right now I don’t feel like I’m really inspiring anyone to wake up–those around me just see someone with crazy sensitivities and no money or partner, lol, so not very enticing!

        Anyhooooo….,so thats–
        One double salt for you, one real butter for Maria, one vegan butter with salt for me…..anyone else for more popcorn? This could be a long flick lol……

        PS this may be off topic but what the HELL with more of our artistic tribe leaving the planet this week???? Actually it doesn’t seem that off topic as we are discussing what it’s gonna take for US to stay here, but Kate and Anthony certainly weren’t wondering how to manifest rent money…..I feel sad that they’ve gone but happy for them at the same time if that makes sense?

        1. Elila

          (Just to clarify, I am not talking about wanting to make awakening/ascension look EASY, but I do want to show that it’s so so SO worth it…..and to lessen fear around the new or unknown a bit…..)

        2. kat

          Ahh Elila,
          I LOVE reading your comments, because you always manage to put into words what I am thinking. And yeah completely agree with absolutely everything you said. It needs to look attractive from the outside, too. And whilst people still can be unhappy despite having money (look at Kate and Anthony for example), us on the last stages of Ascension are deserving of the most comfortable life possible, and yes also in a materialistic sense.

          I, too, always read how we create our own reality with our thoughts and desires, because these become actions and thus shape our lives, and at the same time I read how we should let go of the wish to have money, feel that we are already rich respectively, in order to receive money. What now? I feel all this info is just so focussed on the mind plus it is contradictory in my book. I don’t want to think and mentally “manipulate” myself in order to receive something I believe I deserve.
          And Elile you do have an effect on me, too. You make me laugh, you make me feel validated by expressing what I feel and think and it makes me happy reading your comments. Your energy is contagious, so yeah for that alone you deserve everything you wish for xx ❤

          1. Elila

            Oh Kat, you sweet, dear, beautiful being–i have been thinking of you and these last few days have been thisclose to just emailing you a “hello” just to connect. As usual I totally agree with what you have said- especially that we deserve a comfortable life (good grief it would really take so little for me to live simply and comfortably that I don’t understand why it’s not been a snap to “manifest” [kinda hating that word]), and also the bit about all the fucking mental manipulation that doesn’t make sense to me either, or seem to bear results? It makes me feel like I am doing something very very wrong to still be without any sort of income at this point. If nature truly abhors a vacuum, that ALONE should have drawn resources to me by now! I mean I’m in a place where self love and self care comes pretty easily, and it feels like I’m following my soul and more or less “doing the right stuff”, but at the same time feel like I have no control or influence at all over how things are going–like finances for example. (I do have all I need for now but it’s not without being a financial ” burden” to some degree for my family–and I really am super uncomfortable with that.). It’s baffling and confusing. And yes me too it feels like it should just come naturally without all the mental (or physical for that matter) TRYING. And how does one ” feel into” something they have never experienced before? I feel like I’ve been going in circles for over a decade with all the law of attraction stuff. And I’m at a very “fuck-all” place at this point! Like what the hell??? There’s something I’m not “getting” and I don’t have the energy to figure it out. And yeah it seems counterproductive to me for “awakening” to not be a little more attractive to those who haven’t embarked yet–i mean at some point it MUST happen that those of us on the front line start receiving and enjoying in a way that makes the process look “worth it” to the next group? It would utterly defy evolution for things to continue to be stuck this way wouldn’t it?
            And omg Kat you too have such an effect on me –what you say about reading my comments works the same for me in reverse reading YOUR comments, and that amazing and rare feeling that there is another soul who understands and feels similarly is so priceless, validating and treasured. I often say to myself “damn–i want to be like Kat when I grow up!” — your strength and self-knowing, the way you value yourself and take-no-crap-ness, and insightfulness, are endlessly inspiring to me and makes ME happy to see. YOUR energy is contagious too, and I’m thrilled to “catch” it. It has changed my behavior and made me bolder and more assured. I truly believe that you (& all of us here) deserve to have all you wish for too!
            Anyhow…….I’m feeling the energies kind of sharp and restless today and am having an epic IDGAS (I Don’t Give A Shit) day–just hanging out here and on YouTube in my PJs and gonna have a nice pasta bake ☺. How about you? xxx❤❤❤

  6. Barbara

    There is one we hold dear whose birthday is near,
    The Chambers of her heart we know of.
    She shares with us all the Divine Goddess call
    For each in our own way to know love.

    Honor to you, Maria, on your 68th. Have no idea of the exact day in June of your birthday, and I by no means wish to make you uncomfortable by drawing attention to it, but, hey, I like to think that on your birthday, it’s a darned good time to give the Feminine an extra soul soothing Sound-out boost!

    Love, B.

    1. My dear Barbara, how sweet you are, to honor me with such a beautiful poem. I am very touched. I traditionally go into hiding on my Birthday but it is nice to receive your warm words. Thank you my friend. 💕💕💕💕💕

    2. Elila

      Your poem is magnificent and lovely! I’d like to second the sentiment and wish our beloved Maria the happiest birthday. All this discussion of having an effect–well dearest soulsister Maria, it’s no understatement to say that you have changed my life, and that the effect you are having for me has given me a solid tree to to lean on and hold to in this wild hurricane of awakening. Without you…..oh gosh I don’t want to think or write of how (much more) battered I’d be without you and this space you have created for us like-minded storm tossed souls! I don’t have enough words to express my eternally grateful heart for your existence and love filled sharing wisdom. You are loved and valued and held dear. Thank you my friend –sending out a wish for you to have the most peaceful contented cozy birthday. Oh and a big hug! I love you 🌴🍫🎂🎈😊🎈🎂🍫🌴

  7. kat


    “and these last few days have been thisclose to just emailing you a “hello” just to connect”

    I’ve just come back from Indonesia a couple of days ago and before that I was in Croatia so I didn’t have time to write here but I was following your comments when I could catch some time. and so lovely that you tought of connecting with me 🙂
    “And how does one ” feel into” something they have never experienced before? ”

    YES YES YES !!!! exactly my issue. I tried to feel rich but I jyst didn’t know how. Then I remembered sth I heard a light worker say about this. He said that we should acknowledge that there already is abundance in our life (I forgot how though lol) and we would attract more. but like you I just can’t be arsed anymore. it just feels like work and effort and that’s exactly what I don’t want so yeah I dropped my half arsed manifestation attempts altogether (I also dislike the word ‘manifestation’).

    “There’s something I’m not “getting” and I don’t have the energy to figure it out”

    that is EXACTLY how I feel, too. it feels so good to know I’m not alone.
    “And omg Kat you too have such an effect on me…”

    Ahh that is so nice to hear. Thank you :). And yeah it feels amazing to have found a soul that just understands. it is here rare, too so I very much treasure and appreciate it <3.
    I definitely agree that the energies are all over the place today. it doesn't help that I'm hormonal either 😛
    I went to my favourite Indian restaurant and enjoyed the all you can eat buffet (and J take that literally haha ). it was amazing as always. other than that I was writing my script. I was commissioned to write one for a cinema movie 🙂

    1. Elila

      Ahhhh somehow I knew you were in Croatia! And wow Indonesia how lovely too–but seems like half the people I like on YouTube are also there or have just left, so I feel like I’ve spent time there too with all the footage I’ve seen. It’s sure had me longing for coconuts lol.
      Me too I heard about the acknowledging the abundance we already have, and at the time it made sense and I began a habit of being thankful for and expressing gratitude for all I already have–which I still do rather automatically at this point. And no one can say we haven’t been patient (if anyone tries they will see a decidedly UN-spiritual side of me ha). Truthfully it’s not technically that I lack for anything–i am fed and
      clothed and sheltered and even have this nifty tablet with Internet which feels luxurious after having gone without for many months; my beef is that I wish to be INDEPENDENTLY self sustaining without having to rely or put any strain on family in any way, and I don’t think this is an unreasonable desire by any stretch. It’s said that we shouldn’t quibble with HOW the universe chooses to deliver, but I dispute this somewhat. This is MY ascension and on top of all the tumult and indignity inherent in the process I shouldnt also have to endure the injustice of feeling dependent in any way on my family. Ascension is ultimately about freedom and that must include financially along with emotionally. At least that’s the only thing that makes sense to me.
      And yep the energies feel intense today–im REALLY feeling shite! I feel ya on the hormonal–altho being at the tail end (gawd I HOPE it’s the tail end, knock wood) of menopause I feel like I’m pretty much always hormonal 😝😝. You and I together would be dangerous at any all you can eat buffet cuz lady I take that literally too–as I did last night at a family event with the unlimited salad and bread sticks at the restaurant lol.
      So excited to hear about your script–is that a direct result of your pitch for the class you were participating in?
      Big love right back to you dear Kat ❤

      1. kat

        ” that I wish to be INDEPENDENTLY self sustaining without having to rely or put any strain on family in any way, and I don’t think this is an unreasonable desire by any stretch”

        I absolutely understand you! That is how I felt when I was still dependent on social benefits. I hated feeling so depedent on them and having to justify why I’m relying on their money. I don’t get any social benefits now, but the money i’m getting from the script isn’t industry standard but much less because the production company is a new one and I’m not yet an established script writer. It is of course better than nothing and I’m so grateful to even get the chance to do this, but yeah still struggling financially, in fact I have less now than I had when I was on benefits ahah. But at least I’m free from the f*ing jobcentre.

        ” It’s said that we shouldn’t quibble with HOW the universe chooses to deliver, but I dispute this somewhat.”

        I never understood this either. It is our life. Why shouldn’t we have a say in it?

        “You and I together would be dangerous at any all you can eat buffet cuz lady I take that literally too–”

        Hahaha oh I’d love to go to an all you can eat buffet with you. The restaurant would go bankrupt after that
        “So excited to hear about your script–is that a direct result of your pitch for the class you were participating in?”

        No it is not from the pitch. Someone put an ad in the facebook group of the school I went to last year to do the scipt writing course. It said that they were looking for a script writer and I answered. The idea for the film was already set and I had to write a plot. They liked my version the best by far (there were other scrupt writers who were interested in the job of course) and so we made a contract 🙂 yippiieee. It is a sign that I’m on the right path but like I said above the money ain’t industry standard yet as they are quite new and fresh and have to everything out of their own pockets (they have other jobs, too) plus I’m a newcomer so it’s ok for me to not get paid the full rate. It will be different in the future I am sure

        1. Elila

          Kat that sounds so exciting! I predict the film will be a great success and you will be catapulted into a higher pay rate rather quickly. In the meantime so happy you are free from the jobcentre–here in the States we call it the unemployment office and it is dreadful. What they put you through is almost worse than a job lol.
          I was thinking the same thing about the restaurant when I said that–that we would put them out of business hahaha
          And yeah if I am creating my own reality then why shouldn’t I be able to have a say? Why should my choice to ascend cost anyone ELSE money??? And then me feeling guilt over that…..if spirit is capable of anything, if anything is possible, then certainly spirit can come up with a way for me to be set on my own!!!

          1. kat

            “here in the States we call it the unemployment office and it is dreadful. What they put you through is almost worse than a job lol.”

            It’s the same here, too. They make you feel like you don’t want to work and it’s your own fault that you are still unemployed. They make you feel like a beggar and it is so infuriating. I hate being dependent on them. Glad it’s over and I’ll do anything to keep it that way.

            “.if spirit is capable of anything, if anything is possible, then certainly spirit can come up with a way for me to be set on my own!!!”

            I know right? And why does it take such a long time? What’s the whole deal behind all this`?

          2. Elila

            Yeah what the hell? It’s not like we haven’t already been saintly patient. If anything is possible and we are supposed to dream big, then why can’t some of that dreaming be hustled along a bit? Cuz I’ve basically been dreaming about the same stuff for over a decade……and if one more person says it’s my own resistance I swear I’ll scream…..
            And yep I understand feeling like a beggar. From the moment I was born there were certain platitudes my parents endlessly repeated like a broken record– one of them was “beggars can’t be chooser!” (often accompanied by ” you’ll take what you get and LIKE it!” & this gem, “make sure you find a man with something in his pockets besides his hands!”)
            Not only do I wince at and loathe these words, I feel like they were just so damaging to me and my spirit and my capabilities. And more bullshit than the tooth fairy.

  8. kat

    ” Cuz I’ve basically been dreaming about the same stuff for over a decade……and if one more person says it’s my own resistance I swear I’ll scream…..”

    Same here! If that “you create your reality with your thoughts” mantra was true, I would be a millionaire swimming in crystal clear water and chilling on a white sandy beach somewhere on the Cook Islands. And I absolutely share your feelings about the resistance thing. No, there is no resistance whatsofuckingever.
    “” you’ll take what you get and LIKE it!” ”

    How crap. Mine said sth similar about jobs. That I should take anything. Other parents were making sure their kids have cool well paid office jobs (I’m talking about jobs while I was still going to school) and my mum constantly said I should take any job, no matter how shitty it was and how bad the pay was. Hence why I had factory jobs that were horrible or why I worked serving behind the cold meats counter where they treated me badly (one of the older women even hit me) And it kinda stuck with me for a long time, that I should tak a. Not anymore though. I m sure she didn’t know better, but it’s still a shit thing to say

    “Not only do I wince at and loathe these words, I feel like they were just so damaging to me and my spirit and my capabilities. ”

    THIS! sooo much! It undermined my talent and my capabilites so fucking much! I met people in higher positions that were so incapable for the job but were still because they believe they deserve it, I was always so dreadfully overqualified for all the jobs I had, even though most of them were side jobs.

    1. Elila

      Ha!! We are dreaming the same thing!! I’d be right there on that beach with you sister! And with my own teeny little beach shack/cottage not far away, AND looking/feeling decent in my swimsuit! Dammit!

      And yep parents said exact to me about jobs (& men for that matter). So I was usually overqualified and was basically abused at every job I ever had (which is a lonnnnnnnnng list) except one. Or maybe two. Once people realize you are wanting to please (i was taught that “pleasing” in life was the number one most important thing and that basically your life depended on it so i was desperate to show how good i was at whatever–please parents or else, please men or else, please friends or not have any, please bosses, on & on) and show what your capable of, and you are good at it, they don’t pat you on the back or give you a raise–no in my experience they feel threatened, dump more and more work on you (cuz they know it will get done and get done right), and do everything they can to “keep you in your place”/hold you back. So me and the work world have never jived. I just don’t have it in me to play the kind of hardball required nor do I have thick enough skin to endure that kind of taking advantage and abuse ever again. God knows I tried to pretend I did for decades! I tried to emulate the tough ” successful” ones who no one shat on and I just never “got it right” or really grokked it. It’s just not in me to be that way no matter how much “practice”. And I also don’t have it in me to not take it all personally, so I’m REALLY not cut out for that world!
      I think the messages I heard growing up and what I was taught just put me at a real disadvantage. Plus just a really sensitive human 😊, and I like that about me now and don’t want to be one of the hard asses any more lol.

      1. kat

        “they don’t pat you on the back or give you a raise–no in my experience they feel threatened, dump more and more work on you (cuz they know it will get done and get done right)”

        That’s exctly the same experience I had and my sisters as well, which is no coincidence I guess. We all received the same fucking shitty messages. We all were trying very hard to do the job right, being very conscientious and it was met with an extra work load like you said. My sisters stuck with the job world, I m obviously not cut out for it. Every job I had, I was the odd one out. I had colleagues I got on well with, but my personality, my energy never fit in anywhere. I think this is also why none of my job applications for regular jobs haven’t worked out in past couple of years. my soul is preventing me from getting back into a regular job, because it just isn’t for me. I would have stopped applying then much earlier if I knew what I wanted to do for real and got the opportunity to do the script writing course and get this job afterwards, but no, it was somehow necessary so spend years in this wheel of being dependent on the job centre and compulsively applying for jobs I didn’t want deep down inside, but was forced to apply for, so the job centre wouldn’t sanction me (= cutting my money). Yeah nice thing to put a fucking ascension battered pioneer through. When I get to the other side I’ll damn well ask what that was about. Not pleased about this at all.
        I feel like I’m still going through the aftermath of this big energy influx. I feel pressure in my jaw (more than usual) and pressure in the forehead that has always been on the left side has wandered more towards the middle of the forehead, which feels good in a strange way. And there’s definitely anger coming out as well plus I felt reaaalllyy edgy yesterday. Today not as much though. I think it is already subsiding. How about you?

        1. Elila

          Same same same for me on the job world. Everything you said. And also I used to think that perhaps I was too thin skinned and wimpy for it all and tried so hard for many years to toughen up–but now I see it takes a lot MORE strength to walk away from what doesn’t suit my sensitive (NOT weak) nature and live in the unknown, unchartered territory of trusting spirit that I’ll be OK. This definitely isnt for the faint of heart! But yeah nothin’ like being pulled through the wringers financially–maybe we won’t have to wait til were on the other side to know what the heck this shiz was all about? Lol. Cuz I feel like it can’t be much longer before it all balances out and we experience the abundance (and health) that I believe is our birthright.
          And yep me too I can feel that influx waning and the edginess petering out. Yes too on noticing certain pains or pressures that used to always be on the left seemingly migrating to the right side, which I guess seems good because it’s movement at all and I can tell myself it’s progress haha

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