It’s Time for Women to Be Free

Art by Maria Chambers
Art by Maria Chambers

Why am I still here?   Glad you asked.

Because I want to help shift  the way women feel about themselves.  And the way they end up acting because of the way they feel about themselves.

Too many women are still feeling that they are not free to be themselves.  So they are playing it safe, some more than others. I won’t go into why that is, since I have covered it extensively in this blog.

My desire is fueled by what I see going on not only here in the United States of America, but in many places across the globe.  The patriarchy is doubling down in its attempt to silence women.  To push women’s basic human rights back in time.

What’s interesting is that it’s not the majority of people who feel this way, but there are enough that do, and those are the ones that are working hard to maintain control, or at least the illusion of control on the world stage.

So it’s time for woman to recognize who she really is.   To see how she has played into the  patriarchy.  And to walk away from that story for good.  It’s time for her to recognize that she does not owe anything to her male counterparts, that she has nothing to feel  shame or guilt about.

That she is not required to carry the burdens of others on her shoulders, in her heart or in her body.

That she is not here to satisfy anyone’s sexual or emotional needs.  That she is not here as a scapegoat for anyone’s anger

It is time she recognizes that she and only she has the right to be in control of her own body.  That no one, no man, no woman, no entity, government, religion, or god gets to decide for her, anything to do with something so personal and so intimate and sacred as her own physical vessel.

Whether it has to do with her weight, how she dresses, how she carries herself, how she expresses herself, or her reproductive choices.

portrait-3339480It is time she knows that hers is the ultimate voice.  When it comes to her life, and her body, that voice must be trusted above all else.

She must understand that she is no longer being asked to sacrifice or compromise her own joy.  Or her own sensuality.  She can wear what she wants, and she can be as loud as she wants.  She can eat what she wants, as much as she wants.  She can feel joy, the orgasmic aspects of this physical reality and of her body, without guilt.

She deserves to be heard, and to be believed.

Her freedom relies upon her love and acceptance of herself first.  The only masculine she truly needs is her divine masculine within.  She can depend upon him and upon her soul to navigate her safely in a world that has not embraced her presence for a very long time.

She can take a deep breath now.  And she can exhale.

She will probably lose a few friends along the way, and most likely be scorned now and then by others, especially other women, who resent her freedom.  Her presence will make some people uncomfortable.  But she is willing to pay that small price for her sovereignty.

It’s time for women to be free.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content within others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

43 thoughts on “It’s Time for Women to Be Free

  1. mom2bzs

    Love this Maria! Perfect!

    Funny, I had a conversation with my 92 year old Jewish father (a very chauvinist culture, aside from how old he is). I told him I was at the gym and he said is it a female gym? Too funny. As if I would not work out in front of men!

    I grew up with 3 brothers; I can give as good as I get.

    You’re so right about women Maria! I notice a lot of women are uncomfortable with my directness. I’ve encountered a lot of passive aggressive women. Also, I notice women acting differently when communicating with men. Its interesting to observe.

    1. Kat

      That’s so interesting to hear that Jewish culture can be chauvinistic. Apart from the orthodox Jews who certainly have internalized patriarchy I would not have expected to hear that from a “regular Jew” . Or do you come from an orthodox family?

      1. mom2bzs

        Oh no Kat, not orthodox at all! My parents were/are culturally Jewish. I’m the only girl with 3 brothers, so its VERY VERY obvious to me that they’re chauvinistism.

    2. Sherry
      I appreciate the challenge growing up in a patriarchal family where a kind of double standard operats. I chose to rebel against my Greek father. It was My Big Fat Greek Wedding times 100. Lol.

      Yes, some women would certainly feel uncomfortable with your directness. Those who are still trying to justify choosing not to be free. Being free as a woman can be a terrifying proposition. For many it means giving up the protection of the patriarchy.

      Of course, they are being protected FROM the same patriarchy.

  2. Barbara

    Maria, I can relate this post to your “Easy Peasy” post. In order to release the bonds of the Goddess, perhaps we may need to look from a different perspective at ‘care taking’. We are after all is said and done in this particular time-frame and physical expression of Source, the givers of life… yes, yes, sperm important, but it is the feminine (in all species) who nurtures and gives form to ALL life, and the masculine who… if he ever gets his role together in this lifetime… protects that life.

    In the nurturing is the ‘care giving’, as I prefer to think of it. And if no one wants our ‘care’ as women because the patriarchy doesn’t understand what ‘care’ really means, then that is no impediment to caring. Simply means we must be sure our care giving has boundaries, i.e. Goddesses who broach no shit!

    Apparently, ‘protection’ right now to the majority of human males is dominance of all, other than themselves, along with blowing up body parts (from the comfort of their own living rooms now if I understand the latest tech), but eventually, care giving will be understood as the means to be free.

    And as I’m always reading interesting phrases… someone said once if you read a book, there will be one line in it that is meant for you… and so here it is… in a fiction book of all things, “… a dauntless will to struggle even when there is no opposition.” Kind of made me wonder if… back to Easy Peasy… if, as Goddesses, we need to struggle quite so hard. We need more to go with our natural power of intuition. Conscience is something males may need to work on.

    And if my comment was too fluffy for many, well, there you go, I’m a care giving fluffy. Rather be that than a blown up body part! Love, B.

    1. Barbara
      Such an interesting comment, and that one sentence from the book you mentioned: .. “a dauntless will to struggle even when there is no opposition.”

      That really sizes it up, doesn’t it?

      Because that’s what the mind tends to do. Tries to find something, anything, to get into conflict with. It’s definitely what we see in the toxic patriarchy. Creating crisis even when times are peaceful, or maybe BECAUSE times are peaceful.

      Picking a fight with an ally, or an adversary. Just for the sake of fighting. It’s crazy.

    2. kat

      When I ‘m with my boyfriend I notice how much more nurturing and calming his energy is than mine. But I was conditioned to act “care-givingly” (lol is that even a word? And I always rebelled against the care giving role) and he was wasn’t. I dont want children and he said he would bear children with a passion if he had a uterus lol (and I believe him). Is his feminine side stronger in him to a certain extent than mine is in me, because mine has been forced and hurt ? Very likely. What I’m trying to say is that care giving is a personality thing; both genders have masculine and feminine energies within themseves and I met so many men who are much more nurturing than their wives/girlfriends. My own father, who was hard to live with due to his own deep seated issues, had much more empathy and the will to nurture than my mother who only did “nurturing” because she thought that is what she is supposed to do as a woman. It never came naturally. It is interesting to see how the global butchering of the feminine energies have caused so much imbalance. Women, who are not very care giving themselves, were forced into marriages and child rearing (where they let their frustrations out on their children) and men, who were “softer”, more sensitive and carried their feminine energy more openly, were punished for that and forced to suppress their emotions so that patriarchy didn’t feel threatened.
      Like Maria said, it really is time to heal the feminine, in all of us.

      1. Kat, you make some really great points here. Absolutely, the nurturing, or we could say, the more sensitive side, is something many men embody, but because of the culture, they are ridiculed for it. The worst insult toward a man is that he is feminine in any way. So men are in their own prison, too.

        And of course, insulting a man because he seems feminine in any way is insulting to women, because it says women are inferior.

        The reason I harp on this issue is because in general women are more sensitive to energies, which is a good thing, of course, because it makes being intuitive a good tool to navigate and enjoy life. But to your point, the empathy which isn’t necessarily a part of nurturing, but becomes part of it, is something that doesn’t come naturally to many women, and why should it? It’s a conditioned response.

        It’s not necessarily natural to women. But the feminine took it on a long time ago in order to assuage the male anger, and because she felt guilt.

        I believe that the concept of empathy and sympathy are different from compassion. With compassion, there is not the taking on of someone else’s pain. There is a deep understanding of their situation, and it’s also a knowing that they are sovereign and that they have the answers within.

        Too often sympathy and empathy end up becoming enabling.

        1. kat

          “But to your point, the empathy which isn’t necessarily a part of nurturing, but becomes part of it, is something that doesn’t come naturally to many women, and why should it? It’s a conditioned response.”

          Absolutely and my comment was in fact a direct response to Barbara , because I felt that she connects the care-giving role to women, like it is our nature to do so. I might have misunderstood it though.

        2. Ian

          Hey Maria. I loved your take and analysis of Empathy, sympathy and compassion.

          The life I lived helped me break concepts down, and put them together in a way that worked for me. I’ve spent years trying to orchestrate a template to work from what would make sense about these things. It was hard! It was also really important in order to survive my own demons and difficult circumstances I was born into.

          Ultimately I simply focused on compassion, and what I ultimately did was took “Compassion” and called it a “Dynamic.” I couldn’t reconcile the simple word “Compassion” and see it debouched and then try to run that through myself as so many people said they were doing or defining it. I gaged on it, vomit it back out…keep trying to swallow it and wondered why it was making me so sick to try and “do” compassion like other people…and getting super super sick in the process…burned out, really unhealthy in the dark nights this process caused me.

          So…I had to go on a long journey about it; about compassion. What works for me is calling it a dynamic because being “Nice” didn’t cut it…being “Nice” as compassion gagged me and caused me to over work, over give…always say “Yes” when “No” would have served me and anyone else involved much much better.

          Compassion’s dynamic: There is “nice” (and kind and being a good person for these), but it is the very meanest part of compassion…the mask…the veneer of compassion (Anyone calling themselves “Compassionate” or being called compassionate because of being nice…look past the Nice and if you don’t see these other things…then all you have is being nice (and you could miss some essential character flaws and get trapped in situations that will take you for a ride if you mis-take nice for compassion).

          Courage, empathy, sympathy…objectivity, discernment…integrity (Personal…doing what is said/promised…or not doing something and holding to your own truths and intentions and honoring your own reasons), honesty, vulnerability…personal truth (go back to courage for this one) listening/hearing…patience, being steadfast…giving…any action or inaction in response to what brings peace and subdues suffering: All of these DESPITE the suffering it may cause, for compassion exists in the face of suffering. No suffering? No compassion needed. No suffering? Nice will do…or…do nothing and go on your way with a perfectly clear conscience. No harm…no foul. If you discern a person is able to do for themselves? Good. Let them. Or be “Nice” and help out, and stop when your tired and let them take up their own slack. Giving a hand, but not giving a hand out….teaching people to fish instead of giving them all your fish…THESE ARE PERFECT EXAMPLES OF DEEPER COMPASSION. Ironically…sharing your fish with a person with no hands…this is also compassionate. But if he can fish using his own feet (people can do this you know)…then teach him to fish with his feet…feed him while he learns. This is compassionate. Enabling is NOT compassionate, yet…nice will enable (groan…ick…Help!!)

          I think I even went as far, within myself, to surmise that that, Gee…if we didn’t suffer, then compassion would not be needed. You see, compassion is the counter to anger, outrage…FEAR…all the primary elements that cause the greatest suffering. What works best in response to any suffering…weather it be our own…or in another (Or all as one)?

          Not one thing…but rather…

          …a dynamic…an alchemical marriage of many things that leads to…

          …gold (Compassion).

          But this is just as far as I’ve gotten with the “Idea” of it. In practice…I’m just human…still got this (pointing to my own human body…human mind…human history…human conditioning…human conflicts…competitions…triflings…meanness…frustrations…hurts…on and on, etc).

          Take from it what you will. Leave it all behind. I’m sharing my personal take on it…it’s the personal truth I’m working with, but it need not be TRUTH. It helped me…this study of mine.

          It’s what I look through when I’m evaluating someone or something like a human process (any human contrivance really) such as religion, politics…a job (with “Compassion” in the mission and values)…if it makes me gag, I leave it for poison. When someone says, “He/She is so compassionate,” and I see nice…but see no courage or integrity, hiding…back tracking…”Say but does not….”…I say nothing, but I know something more then this person telling me about this “Nice” other someone.

          I go on my way and hope not to get too roped into anything with regard to them. I like to reduce the chance of needing to be compassionate by setting my boundaries and staying “Step back Satan…get thee behind me!”

          Love to all with good will.

          1. Annette

            Ian…..Thank you for these words!! I will revisit, and read again!
            Love and Peaceful Vibes~~~~~~~~>

      2. mom2bzs

        Very interesting Kat. My mother wasn’t nuturing either. How hard it must have been to have children and not enjoy them and feel put upon by society to be a certain way.

        1. kat

          I think my mum always have loved us and she certainly enjoys us now that we are older and we can help her and socialise with her lol. But she was never a mothering type of woman. She says that she’s always wanted children though, so go figure 😀 It was never a problem for me that she wasn’t super nurturing ot mothering (there were other things that were far heavier), I did read articles about women who were forced to give up their careers in the 1950’s and 1960’s to become a mother and housewife and those women carried so much resentment and let their frustrations out on their kids. That’s why I never want children. It’s so easy to f**k up their lives (and my own, because they do require a lot of attention and energy)

          1. Ian


            When I was a kid wishing to grow up faster so I could “Make a difference,” I had this fantasy about being a good father and giving what I didn’t really get. Funny though when I thought about being married to a woman, my little brain short circuited and the whole fantasy would stop.

            Then I came out gay (was gay the whole time, but in child hood I didn’t know what it was). As I grew up, I went into denial and prayed a lot to God to take it away. When I came out…YEE HA…FREE PASS! I DON’T EVEN HAVE TO PRETEND TO WANT TO TRY F**KING UP SOME KIDS LIFE! YEAH!!!!! By the way…this WAS a conscious concrete consideration to not want children along with tremendous elation that I WOULD NOT HAVE TO MESS SOME KID(S) UP BEING EXACTLY LIKE MY OWN PARENTS! I KNEW their pattern was in me. I wanted NONE OF IT!

            I think it’s ok to express the divine Feminine and Divine Masculine in such a way that doesn’t necessarily consider procreation. Both/either can still nurture the other and endeavor together to “Create” other things for themselves and their communities to enjoy, value and benefit from. True?

            Woman get the short end of this stick. And it’s sad (don’t mean to offer a superficial platitude like “Sad” because it’s more than sad) that there is such a heavy burden place on women by both themselves and men to bare children even when they know themselves to NOT WANT CHILDREN. And so they cave in…get involved in situations (Marriage for instance) when the rules and minds change about “I want children (from the man)”…and for duty, children are born.

            Some women take up the duty quite well…they adapt and accept…give up dreams, hopes and inspirations to take on new ones (for their family). Is it wrong? NO! We all have the ability to compromise.

            But if a woman says, “No…I don’t want that.” Is that ok? YES…better than ok because she says it for a reason. It’s best to honor the honest reason or else…(I was a consequence of such a debouched compromise…only it was my father that didn’t want children, and it was my mother that “Thought” she wanted children “To do it right like she didn’t have.”)

            My point? HONOR THE NO! Now I see why Maria is so adamant about honoring the Divine Feminine.

            We men need to do the same for the divine masculine, for we are tied to you all, and in this…the very same human dynamics and considerations effect us, too…and in the same way…with the same consequences.

            For Women, I would not like to see regression/repeal of options for pro-choice (which exist for a reason…and most women should be made aware of this reason so they understand and stop judging those women who choose not to have children…and men need to get over their power control of this issue BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO EMPATHY…and can not, for they are not WOMEN. This history behind this is brutal).

            That said…I do honor and understand Pro-life. There is equal measure of benefit and consequence to both, and so…being more conscious and aware in as much is as possible will likely bring or maintain a good compromise going forward. This is my hope.

            Thanks Maria.

  3. Ian

    Sympathy, empathy…compassion. Without these in any human (man, woman, trans…gay…queer…asexual, bi-sexual…nurse, banker, military, etc) would be call a sociopath (without conscience…no scruples with regard to “caring.”). No gender has exclusive rights to Sympathy, empathy…and/or compassion. These are core human traits. They are essential for mutual survival (and benefit) in our species. Without these…we’d be like badgers or bears. but even these have male and female roles and duties…(Instincts?)

    I agree with Maria and you all, and I have “Sympathy” for the Female counterpart in the human story. I think “Empathy” is a little bit of a trial for me though because I can not claim to be female, so I have never lived out all that is to be female. Even if I acted upon an innate longing to be female and went under the knife (shiver) and had my body surgically altered and shaped to resemble a female, I would not be “Female,” for I could never ever bare children, nurse a baby…menses or synchronize a period in a collective of women. What empathy could I really have?

    But sympathy? Yes…I could identify a “Common sense” of what it is to suffer in a “Gender,”, and I could sit with that suffer…bare it, offer love and support (in what ever way I was taught to and that feels loving weather or not a woman valued it, honored it…trusted it….or even hated me for it…or loved me in return…and returned it to me in her own measure). This last…is “Compassion”: To sit with suffering…to bare suffering.

    See? All human stuff, for all humans can and do do this for one another.

    The other day, we found out that my daughter in law (she’s a young 30) is expecting a second child. My son in law (a very very young 30) was talking about her mood swings in a condescending way (Little shit…but I love him because when he’s not a jerk, he’s actually quite sweet…talk about a conflict of his conditioning vs. his core nature…I FEEL GREAT EMPATHY FOR HIM).

    ANYWAY…My daughter in-law sorta put her head down…all contrite, and she said, “Yea…I have these hormonal imbalances….and…” ‘

    “Stop right there,” I said! “NO…there is no hormonal IMBALANCE.” Her head swung up near to whiplash. My son-inlaw’s face went sheepish and “Caught.” What the f**k do they teach these kids???

    “Your body…his body…my body…we all have hormones. When your pregnant…even just being a normal woman with mood swings because of hormones…THAT IS NOT AN IMBALANCE. That’s just being human and having hormonal surges at certain times. IT’S NORMAL. Did you know men have hormonal surges about every 6 weeks, too?” Her eyes got all saucer like, and my son in-law looked shocked…and confused…a little dumbfounded (good…he’s not so without human affect).

    I Look over at my son in law and dared him to say something stupid. He kept his mouth shut and lips tight. No more of this ignorant reinforcement of “Imbalance.”

    I went on to explain how important it was to keep her stress low during her pregnancy because stress effects hormones and can actually program her fetus to maturate and be prepared for stress in the world it will be born into (statistics say excessive stress during pregnancy produces more aggressive children as a survival mechanism…which is likely why I can be incredibly aggressive….so I have empathy for the potential child and would not want “Her” to experience what I’ve gone through…though It’s not really my duty to think that way. It’s not my child, right?)

    I went on to tell her there was NOTHING wrong with her AT ALL. NADA…ZIP! I Looked over at my son-in-law again…daring him! AND I LOOKED HER IN THE EYE…and dared her to argue this point. SHE LOOKED…stunned, LIKE…no man had ever told her she was normal for being a woman…for having hormones. I GOT PISSED!! But I held it in…carried on in a calm voice…felt my EMPATHY for this (having been told I was not normal for a very very very long time). It almost makes me cry to think about it, but I guess I’d rather just be mad about it…and in this, find the words to reinforce a better self view for her AND me, for this is the compassionate act…to bare the suffering of this, and do something to make it better (though I could have just sat with it…done nothing…listened, and then gone back to reading Marias blog because that is what I’d been doing BEFORE they came out and interrupted me in my reverie…ROFL…LOL! FUNNY? You bet!

    Here’s a snap shot of what I think of all this.

    We are all living out this Female/Male duality here. We all struggle with it. Without Blogs like this, we all have less opportunity to explore what this all is and how we can all contribute to making it better.

    I am so impressed with the responses I read here today. I read them all, and here are a really in-touch…in-tune…empathetic and compassionate group of women I could call friend if I knew you (and if I wasn’t pulled out of my much beloved introversion overly much…I love my freedom, too).

    Thanks for this Blog and this topic. What came out here is actually really beautiful. MARIA…You are the very best sort of Woman, and so are the rest of you.


    1. mom2bzs

      Can I just tell you Ian what a wonderful man you are?! I know those hormonal surges and they’re BRUTAL when you’re pregnant! Where were you when I was going through it?!

      I believe this time is about balancing the female and male energies. I know I’ve been male in other lifetimes.

      1. Ian

        Hey Mom2bzs! LOL

        Oddly…funny…Ironic (On so many levels), when I was going through my nursing program way long time ago, I topped my class (and nationally place in the 99th percentile) in Maternity. I LOVED MATERNITY in nursing school!! Additionally and just as oddly, I placed lowest in my class during growth and development…had absolutely no interest in dealing with children as I was still muddling through my own issues of that same ilk in a majorly unconscious way…thus…no interest in holding an external pattern about it as I had my own journey regarding “Growth” and “Development” as a human being…Unconscious though it was. I still count it as experience and education (Ha ha ha…giggle).

        In San Francisco during that time, there was a very high Asian population and quite a cultural inhibition for male nurses in maternity. I was told this directly by a maternity departmental head during an interview I had for a maternity nurse position. Grrrr….

        So…I went into hospice which is at the extreme opposite of Maternity (Death…and by proxy…the birth into a transition from life), and this in a profession where only 8% are men.

        Truth be told, Hospice was my “Calling” though can be considered the Same thing as maternity (In principle), only different…six of one, half dozen of the other. Ye HA!!!


        I KNOW I’ve been female in previous lives, and I have lots and lots of carry over. I get it in as much as soul memory, direct life observation…interaction, etc has allowed me to consider in a male life time (which isn’t quite done yet).

        In a big picture kind of way, every soul is grappling with human issues; gender being an obvious issue these days. We’ve come a long way. I mean…here we all are discussing it quite openly and freely.

        I’m incredibly grateful to Maria and all you all for creating and participating in this really special forum on a very fundamental issue that expands out and effects so broadly! It effects me even though I am not female. I, in turn, effect…because I represent (even though it’s a very small way) one half of what is intrinsically connected. The human dynamic of what is female and what is male (both being quite human)

        It could be exclusive (yes…indeed…it could be, and hasn’t there been enough exclusion on the world stage? I think so), but I have not yet ben censured…and I am grateful; very much grateful to be allowed to participate.

        Thank you, Maria…and thank you strong…aware…smart…thoughtful women!

  4. Barbara

    Super comments, thank you! And yes, Kat, agreed, it is the ‘roles’ that we are assigned/conditioned into that need to be re-assessed, and I guess what I was saying is that in order to gain balance, maybe we shouldn’t fight those ‘roles’ that we are inwardly inclined to CHOOSE to experience, whether in a male or female body. I am not naturally a care-giver, nor did I ever want children, and thus perhaps I need to learn, just as Ian says, the different expressions of sympathy, empathy and compassion. I just don’t want, as Maria says, the mind games that invite struggle, especially when at the base of it all is our urgent need to love ourselves and one another. My balance beam is a wee bit unsteady until I get to the rare and much needed part of it where I accept and love myself as I do my best to express the bringing of a world in duality into balance. Methinks I need another PJ party! Love, B.

    1. kat

      ” maybe we shouldn’t fight those ‘roles’ that we are inwardly inclined to CHOOSE to experience, whether in a male or female body”

      Do you connect these roles to gender or do you connect them to our inner desires that are independent of our current gender?. Like, when you are female but don’t feel like a care-giver, it would be detrimental to force yourself into the role of the care-giver, just because you are female.

    1. Elila

      Hi barbara–im here! Taking in all the wise words here but feeling pummeled by the (eclipse?) energies and like Maria says, hit with the horse tranquilizer, so unable to manage any words of my own. Took me a minute to get your new word but then chuckled when I did–good grief I’m SLOW lately……
      Love to you all ❤❤❤🌖🌘😫😝

      1. Barbara

        Hi Elila, so good to know you’re here and yes, pummeled is the word in the energies of the last… what now seems like forever. Just a note to say that interestingly, the numerology of Eclipse date, July 27, 2018 is 7-2-7-2-0-1-8 = 9… actually, 9’s extrapolated into infinity… completions/endings.

        Ditto, on the inability to express myself in words, and I’m sorry if I’m confusing folks here. I’m confusing myself!

        Yes, to Kat, the latter as you expressed it above. Ian has got the same handle on this issue as I do, and finally, I have always gotten the words empathic and emphatic mixed up and therefore my new word should be ‘symempcom’.

        And now I’m going to find that horse who needs to have its tranquilizing gun taken away pronto.

        Thank you, Maria, for your patience… Love, B.

        1. Elila

          Barbara it DOES seem to have been going on forever this round for me too. Thank you so much for mentioning the numerology–“completions/endings” was EXACTLY what I needed to hears cuz sister I am about OVER this shit!!

      2. mom2bzs

        Oh yes Elila! I’m being pummeled by the full moon eclipse energies too! I’m always effected by the full moon; this one is on steriods!

        I’ve been very emotional for the past few days. I’m letting it come up, loving myself, writing, and releasing it.

        1. Elila

          Sherry—right??? I’m always affected by the full moon too and this one is completely over the top, on steroids as you perfectly said. I’ve been feeling just so many shades of crap since just before the solar eclipse a few weeks ago. I’m so hoping what Barbara pointed out about completion turns out to be the case. In the meantime I’m literally counting the hours until we are on the other side of this event…..uncle!

          1. So funny Elila that you said uncle. I say that all the time when the energies are kicking my ass.

            I’m using Sherry now. The other name seemed impersonal.

  5. mom2bzs

    I’m responding to Ian’s articulate post to Kat.. There was no reply button, so here I am.

    As I’ve said, I have 3 brothers. My mom had a baby in between me and my oldest brother who died at 6 months. My dad told me the other day the doctor told her she should have another baby (which was me). I truly believe (and when I was younger my dad told me he believed this) that she couldn’t give me much cause she was still grieving. I don’t honestly believe she would have been able to fully honor who I am anyway, even if she hadn’t lost a child, but it is what it is. There’s also the issue of me being the only girl and all that entails. My point being, she was told she SHOULD have another child.

    I have 2 boys and wow have they taught me about myself! I was lucky enough to go through therapy and a lot of self actualization about my family patterns before I had children. Thank God! I’m sure I still had some things going on, but it really solidified the kind of mother I chose to be. When I give myself credit (I’m very hard on myself) I think I am/was a dam good mother. Aside from all the light I shed on my children. They have taught me way more than I ever taught them! And I’m so grateful I’ve been in a place to be aware of it!


    1. Ian

      Hey Mom2bzs,

      Thanks for sharing that! And it worked out with you. You actually did preparation for motherhood?? Dang! That’s doing it right! Look at the results! You seem completely satisfied with all you created. I can only imagine the hard work you put into it; the sacrifices…and garnered joy in nurturing children.

      I have an older sister that I adore; a Half sister…same father, different mother. Of my four siblings, I am the middle of 5. I was raised fairly alone by my father since most of my siblings are half siblings and were raised by their mothers. This in mind, of all these siblings, my older sister is someone I have great affinity with; and great love.

      Anyway, My sister is one of those sorta of people that always wanted to be a mother. And she said something to me once when I was a young man. I’ll never forget it. She said, “I want my own family, and they will have everything I didn’t.”

      I was the exact opposite. I had absolute no faith in my abilities to give to a child, but I sure did wanna get what I didn’t get…In SPADES.

      Selfish? Nah. Honest? Yes.

      I think I adore my older sister so much because we share a same longing to get to our goal, and we’ve both pretty much done this. She is happy happy happy with many grandchildren…loving her children like a really super loving mom. She was very singular in her determination. She has a mother’s spirit.

      I was also singular in my endeavor to get what I didn’t get…but I didn’t want to “experiment” with children. I’d taken plenty of knocks, and so…I was prepared to accept more in order to meet my own ends: To get for myself what I didn’t have: Compassion: Love…empathy, sympathy…care, courage and integrity. Much of this I chose to work on in my career working with people but not children. My father told me when I was 18, “Never ever work with children if you’re going to be gay. Just don’t do it. It’s not you I’m worried about. People will say things…or give kids Ideas. Because you are gay, they will never take your side.”

      Dad was mean, AND…he had a pretty strong self preserving ego. At the time, I took his word for it. He investigated for the state department of fair employment and housing. I think he saw a lot of how people could be to one another in many different kinds of vocations. So have I actually. I never felt victim to his words in this instance, nor do I regret heeding his advice.

      Anyway…like I said before, I saw being gay as my free pass! Yeah!!!! And NOW look at me! “Married to a man that has three adult children (two are living with us, and one of them has a 1 year old with a second on the way. And I’m like…HOW THE F**K DID THIS HAPPEN??!! This wasn’t in the plan!

      But…plans change. “Grandpa” isn’t the same as Dad…THANK GOD! My responsibilities are dilute…and manageable, and that’s how I like it.

      But thank God I love my older sister so much. She’s a good model for me in my new role. I wanna be like her…only a guy…who can NOW Give what I didn’t have, because along my journey…I met my goal. I learned to get what I never had, and I give it to myself every day. I am SO blessed! It’s still hard. I’m still challenged, but I have some things to give now.


      Thanks Mom2bzs.

      Love in spirit.

      1. Yes Ian, I did tons of work on myself and tore down the foundation of my family of origin. It was very painful. Although as a child, I always had stomach aches, so I was obviously internalizing all the shit I felt. I was told once by a therapist I took on the pain of the family. Now I know it in a much deeper way than I understood, being as empathic as I am. I can still see instances where I wish I would have done differently as a mom; but I’m human.

        That’s so cool you have an older sister that you’re close to!

        Honestly is always the best. Its a hell of a responsibility being a parent. I don’t think anyone should do it who doesn’t want to.

        I’m so glad you got what you never had.

        1. Ian


          I’m laughing…”Tons of work on my self [tore down the foundation]…” This is the work that light workers and anyone on this ascension path don’t get credit for. I get it. Been there, and done that….STILL doing it (LOL).

          Maria said something once to a previous response I had to one of the articles article she recently wrote…”We do more work before our first cup of coffee then most people do in a day.”

          You just gave a perfect example of the work we do…IN ADDITION to the “Jobs” we do weather it is parenting, banking…trading and selling, drilling oil…farming. We, also, do this other work as well, and it’s hard work.

          We have two jobs. We are a bunch of work-o’holics! So…don’t forget to take your vacation time and fun time…play time…love time…rest, Sabbath….what ever it is that lets you disconnect sometimes to get your strength back. There’s always more work to do if you look deep enough…

          …And there’s always time to rest, too. Someone’s always working and “On the job,” so it’s all going to get done because there’s so many people doing their inner work as well as the outer work. Sharing it actually helps accelerate others along faster. I know I really appreciate when someone takes time and shares their process because it either gives me knew ideas to try, or it validates the work I’ve already done so I don’t have to perseverate and keep repeating just to make sure I did it right.

          We’ll get there. We Will!

  6. kat

    Ian, great comment (to me above) and I absolutely agree with everything you’ve written and yeah it’s a no from me to kids and damn right I’m honoring it 😉

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