Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Questioning Reality


cropped-ab4bae0e-7cee-4a8f-b915-89a724c3d846.jpegMost people don’t question their reality.  Unless they are in the stage of awakening where it naturally begins to happen, they just shuffle along in their various states of cognitive dissonance.

A couple of decades ago, I was sitting in a public courtyard, and I glanced across the crowd and spotted an attractive man.  He was sitting on a cement ledge surrounding a man-made pond that displayed a fountain.

He looked to be in his mid 50s, greying hair, just enough wrinkles to give his face character.  He was a bit overweight, wore casual clothing, and appeared comfortable in his own skin.  He was with another man.

For whatever reason, a few moments later I decided to look back toward him again and to my astonishment I realized that he was a she.

I was mistaken.  I was looking at a woman.  It was starkly clear.

And, in that moment of realization the individual was not as attractive any more.  It was the same person, same features, but now my perception of them was radically different.

It didn’t take me long to recognize what had happened.  In that moment I questioned my beliefs about what constitutes being attractive, and how we are conditioned to see women.

I wasn’t hard on myself for mistaking her for a man, but I couldn’t let it go at that.  I wanted to dig deeper into that reaction, because it’s not a personal one as much as it is cultural.

cropped-ab4bae0e-7cee-4a8f-b915-89a724c3d846.jpegRecently I began to wonder why men began buffing up, becoming more obsessed with being big, having a muscular body.  This trend became more widespread when women began coming out sometime in the late 60s and demanding equality.

And, conversely, at around the same time, women were reducing their body and trying to squeeze into the Twiggy silhouette.

When men feel threatened by women wanting more equality, the men need to become bigger.  When women become more vocal in the culture, they are encouraged to become physically smaller.

It doesn’t need to be said, but I will offer that beauty comes in all sizes and shapes.  But to force the physical body into a particular shape or size out of some misguided need to appear acceptable, or beautiful, isn’t healthy.

There is nothing wrong with sculpting muscles, or fine tuning the human body.  But what I am talking about is a broader trend that has its origins in imbalance.  And examining these accepted norms of beauty is healthy.

And of course there are a myriad of other examples of things we accept as normal, that upon closer observation are actually downright disturbing.

Isn’t it interesting that people can be so particular about what they eat or wear, but those same people just allow whatever beliefs of the mass consciousness that comes along take hold of their life.  No questions asked.

Whether those beliefs are about finances, health, relationships, social, cultural, political, or the existence of god.

And speaking of god, it’s good that the Catholic Church is being vigorously scrutinized over sexual abuse, but are people actually examining the religion itself.  Are they asking themselves the hard questions, like why are they subscribing to a religion that systematically suppresses sexuality, and insists upon abstinence and only heterosexual relationships.  A religion that denounces the sensuality of the human experience.

But most people can’t connect the dots from centuries of suppression of the natural human desires and of the feminine, and acting out that suppression in the most vile and unconscionable of ways.

In the awakening process, all our beliefs are held up to scrutiny.  Everything we thought is now in question.  Every level of life that we took for granted as real is held up to the light.    We are being nudged, and sometimes unceremoniously shoved into a new space where we can no longer shrug off something as being just the way things are.

In our earlier stages of awakening, many of us realized that we needed to question the status quo in our life, and in our hearts and minds, but we didn’t yet have the tools to shift out of those mindsets.

We tried to shift using our mind.  We thought we were supposed to overcome our old programming.  But nothing we tried worked very well.  And that’s because we were trying to change ourselves, by altering the way we thought about things.

Oddly enough, the result was we became even more trapped in our mind.

When we began allowing the other part of us, our eternal self, to come on board with our human self we started to feel a significant shift within ourselves.  We realized in hindsight that our minds are so conditioned, and so limited, that there was no way that we could access the changes we desired by using that mind alone.

The human mind has been conditioned to respond to life from a place of fear mostly.  It has set up a fortress of defenses to deal with what it considers threats to its survival.

The human mind has been conditioned to respond to life from a place of fear mostly.  It has set up a fortress of defenses to deal with what it considers threats to its survival.

And without the benefit of the soul, the mind can only see what is in front of it, or what happened yesterday.  It can’t see other possibilities.  It doesn’t understand how alchemy works.

And that is why the mind has been struggling mightily with this ascension, embodied enlightenment process.  It’s not that we need to change our minds at this point, but just continue allowing our soul to participate in our lives.

And as we do that, the mind begins to acquiesce more to our soul.  And it actually is relieved.  It really is tired.  It’s got PTSD.  It has been traumatized in a world that felt more like a war zone.

It’s been in battle mode, and it’s taken too many bullets and dodged even more.

1BC55149-87B3-42D5-823F-2F61A2DDF133So it’s slowly settling into the new relationship it finds itself in.  And, no I’m not talking just about our mind, but our human personality.  That personality was mostly defined by the mind,  not so much by our soul.

And, that’s another issue. The personality feels a bit sad because it believes it will be abandoned, never to be recognizable again as itself.  But that’s not what’s happening.  It’s being integrated into its true self.  Nothing is lost.

In fact, much is gained.  The wisdom of lifetimes lived on the Planet Earth.

And, no matter who you are, or what star system you originated from, you have been a resident on Planet Earth for at least a few lifetimes.  And no matter what you have been told, this is the Planet of choice in the universe.

This is where the most adventurous souls come.  This is where souls come to advance their growth and wisdom.  Perhaps other planets have technologically advanced civilizations, but we are known as the Planet with HEART.

We have surpassed every other civilization in the galaxy and the universe in terms of diving deep into duality, into experience and into love.

Enjoy Here’s To Love from Cosmic Blend

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Almost a decade later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

17 thoughts on “Questioning Reality

  1. Beautifully explained. I often say that in our humanness we are limited by what our mind can imagine, so letting the Universe/ Soul do it is so much better. Full on whole BEING….. Infinite possibilities. I like to say Profound Allowing. Great song!!!!

  2. Your opening was see intriguing and thought provoking. ♥️♥️♥️

  3. How lovely, Maria, that you should write this article and in particular, this paragraph:

    “The personality feels a bit sad because it believes it will be abandoned, never to be recognizable again as itself. But that’s not what’s happening. It’s being integrated into its true self. Nothing is lost.”

    Just yesterday I was (again) comparing ego and personality, and came to the conclusion that there is a huge difference between the two. Ego still very immature and demanding, while personality is self-knowing and content to be experiencing the ascension process with all of its challenges. Acknowledgement from others becomes a non-necessity, grace and wisdom take over and extend into whatever one’s reality is on any given day. Peaceful it can be knowing “Nothing is lost.” I take comfort in believing that one day “The Truth will hit the Fan,” perhaps not in my lifetime, but it’s much, much closer to this Planet and her kingdoms than it ever was. Love, B.

    • Hi Barbara,

      I truly think it is infinitely fascinating to discovery how people come to their conclusions based on the life they live. I operate from the premise that every single life perspective is valid and real because that’s what has gotten them to where they are. Here is my Motto: “The’ Life’ lived is the testimony for the validity of the perspective before me which is, indeed, embodied in a living person survived and thriving. The life is obvious! They are breathing and alive right in front of me. What better proof of their perspective.”

      I put this in quotes because this is the essential Truth I came to after suffering at the hands of people always trying to re-program my perspective and perceptions when, in fact and as a hospice nurse, I MAY NOT do that to someone before me in my area of expertise. To try to re-program another with intention to change them by hook or crook is incredibly devastating to the other…it is damaging…it is monkeying around in side someone without knowing what the heck they are doing, and it will cause a great deal of suffering and short circuiting. This is True. I will count my own life as testimony.

      That said, isn’t I fascinating to learn the perspective of another; learn what has gotten them through life and what is before them and in them to see? In me before another, I find it ABSOLUTELY FACINATING! For me, It generates a lot of empathizing cascades of thought…it sparks a lot of ideas about my own self in relation to others. We are, indeed, all one, you see?

      This brings me to “Ego” and “Personality.” To me, they are parts of each other essentially, but there is a divergence that can be subtle. (This is just food for thought…because what you said was really fascinating…and I’m exploring it because now I’m questioning my own idea about it).

      Maybe it’s that the personality has access to Ego, for it is personality the demonstrates the behavior ego generates for self preservation. Is this a separation of two human elements and symbiosis of both together?

      I once thought that ego was bad and wrong; had to be burned up, buhhhhht…I never had mental faculty enough discharge the perceived schism between who I was (how I acted, what I did…why I did it, how I did it) and my ego (how I preserved myself…ALL of myself…every aspect of myself from human life to spirit…soul here on Earth…to mind and ego…all are the same and worthy of protecting)…

      And then…when I worked in the prison and was involved with a LOT of self preserving people (people I worked with as colleagues; never mind the inmates…they were guarded and behind bars), there were parts of the schism that really became quite pronounced…or…perhaps it wasn’t a schism at all! Perhaps what I was seeing was something I turned into a schism so I could break it down and understand the essential parts.

      What I saw were many different personalities, and most were engaged in a very self preserving ego states. OH…I hated this…’EGO!” BAD…WRONG…AWEFUL. When I started generalizing these people as all this terrible awful, I pretty quickly went into self preserving mode myself…MY EGO was really charged up!! And my personality really suffered a lot.

      But then…me being me…me identifying myself as a compassionate person brought up in hospice (as my adult venue for living life), I saw the compassionate part of my personality digressing into….this other ego state that I was familiar with…but somehow…what’d I’d fostered it to be was NOT surviving! “I” was fading fast!!!

      And then…a light came on about it. “Ego is human, and it can evolve. What it looks like as it evolves with the rest of the human being that you are is the “Inclusive Ego.” The Ego can expand to include others…not just the self.”

      As I reason it, the Ego is just as elastic as any other aspect of self. It can expand beyond the self to include more.

      An example of this could be Mother Teresa. Her ego was an expanded ego and included all the poor, sick and dying of a nation and the world. She had the ego of an Avatar of which there are very few. Buddha, Christ…Martin Luther King…Gondi. All had egos; but evolved to include more than themselves. More then themselves was what they considered to be “Self.”

      We can be one one on the physical world in human life. We can’t really go without protection (Ego)…but ego can grow beyond the self preserving. It can grow to include others. It can include just your family…Mothers are good at that; and fathers. It can be at church. It can be in your community, city…county…country…


      Thanks for hear me. I always have gotten so much out of what’s brought up here.

      You are all so blessed in all that you are. You are all deeply loved and abiding.

      • Hi Ian,

        If you research Mother Theresa you may find that this lady hoarded millions of dollars that were donated to her to help children just in case as a result of spending that money for the children, there may be no children to help and her mission would end as a result.

        With respect to the gender issue, I think that androgynous is correct in the really big picture, but, in my opinion, has nothing to do with sexual partners in 3D, but everything to do with the merge/marriage of Soul with Human while in human form. If we can accomplish that, then I’d say we’re beyond ego, and perhaps even beyond personality. Takes a ton of believing! And of course, I’ve got a 50-50 chance that I’m wrong.

        Love, B.

        • Barbara,

          I dunno about the 50/50. I think it’s perfectly acceptable to be 100% correct. Own it, Girl…that is a BEAUTIFUL thought!

          I wouldn’t doubt the thing about Mother Teresa. Human’s have skeletons. I wonder what Christ’s failings were (It’s quite taboo to talk about you know). LOL

          That damn shadow is always there…following us humans because we have a light shining on us, too. One of the teachers today tripped; fell into a child, and she exclaimed with laughter, “Oh…you stepped on my shadow.” I haven’t heard that since I was a little kid. But funny all the same…stepping on someone’s shadow…causes them to trip. It’s a dumb thing to see a metaphor in…but fun to think about the application of it.

          Does our shadow undo all our good? It can in the eyes of another, and I guess that’s why people always hide their shadow selves (if they can). Yet consequence always lands somewhere; either out of site but not out of time. It always shows up eventually.

          We really are very powerful in so many ways! And now I sorta see why we do so much inner work; and perhaps now I see a little more why some consider it very sacred work; very private…because we work with those scary old skeleton….and we trip up when someone steps on our shadows.

          Oddly…in 3D…without a skeleton, the body has no form. We can bear no weight without it. It supports us, but we can’t really see it…unless we cut ourselves open, or are severely traumatized…which is usually quite maiming…usually; and its disfiguring. People traumatized like that are called ugly, yet many are still quite beautiful because their works also did good as they went about the business of living life in the light that casts shadows.

          In all our light…we also do cast shadows (In 3D…I suppose). For those in 5D…(or somewhere in-between)…I wonder…if the bringers of light do cast the shadows…for they are the light. There is no shadow without light.

          Is that then a position of more responsibility? Or less? Or None? “I am the light. Deal with that Shadow I’m creating by shining it on you.”

          I’m squirming with the idea of it. Mostly though, I feel myself to be the recipient of a great deal of light and standing before the shadows of myself which are cast by it. It doesn’t really feel like a good place to be in…yet, often…It is my own light casting those very shadows.

          Is this the point of ascension? Or am I to be in remediation for ever (and ever and ever)…

          Conundrums! I wonder if we are truly relieved of these in 5D; or is it just expanded awareness to deal with further vision…of greater and greater depths of just the same thing we deal with in 3D…which is fine by me. Life…and creation are never ending…ever expanding, and so…the conundrum is quite expected. What would the point be to living with out it? Why do souls incarnate if it knows the answer already?

          Sigh! Why’d we come here really?

          That’s rhetorical. I just popped my head out of a rabbit hole. Now it’s just time to go into a shallow burrow and rest my weary mind. LOL

          More rabbit holes to dig through tomorrow.

          PS…I feel more deeply than I think, but I can’t put those on paper (Oh LORD, I do try to)…but the truth is more than a question…or words on a page.

          The truth is lived. 7 billion truths in operation right now…

          Going into my burrow now. I just blew my own mind (7 billion truths…who can fathom that?)

    • The truth will hit the fan…..brilliant 🙂

  4. Maria…Talk about a lot to unpack! (Snickering good and open heartedly).

    Your initial story reminded me of a similar story.

    When I was 18, I came out of the closet at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center near where I grew up. I made friends quickly (Finally I wasn’t the only weirdo I knew of).

    I made acquaintance with a BEAUTIFUL woman. Her name was Tawny (drop dead gorgeous). I never ever considered myself naive (lets talk about reality another time, please…I’m tired of beating myself up), so I welcomed her attention, her lively and gorgeous personality; she was swank…playful, generously kind, was a beautiful artist with pencil. Did I mention gorgeous?

    Anyway…she was the type of person that every one lit up around because she was so lit up. One night around a circle, she was talking about going to the DMV to have her gender changed from male to female. (Naive moment coming…please…do not laugh “At” me…but with me is ok). I thought, “Do lesbians have to do that? Why would ANYONE want to do that just because they are lesbian?

    By and by, she started throwing a lot of attention at me…and it scared the crap out of me! literally put me into a sweat…like..Why is this lesbian hitting on me?

    So, me being me, I told her I was gay, and that I like only men. And she said she was a man, too!

    I still carry that memory…it was a tremendously visceral memory, for I felt a lot of shame…I was so embarrassed…and felt truly ashamed because I turned her down and it really hurt her…because I told her, “I only like men.”

    We were all 18…quite young. I’m sure, in those days, all us “Queer” people had some life we’d gone through and were carrying around a LOT of confusion and “PTSD” type perceptions; weren’t always in our clear thinking. Like…why would a trans. M to F woman hit on a gay guy? How confusing could that be? Or…maybe she was just hopeful…and wanting “Love…love love love…” and she saw me as loving. And she also saw her love rejected (and I wonder if that was really the core of the shame I felt…my immature love couldn’t see past her “gender.”

    Later, I saw her again…and she was talking about saving up for her surgery to become a woman…and of course, I was excited for her. She showed me a picture she’d sketched of herself as the woman she saw her self as. It actually wasn’t far from reality.

    Asside from all the political aspect of gender and the choice to identify how ever one wants to identify, it can be confusing. And deep revery for the human condition in our digging deep to understand what we may come to understand (Knowing is quite different then understanding) is the sign of a really hard working soul…or a hard working mind doing it’s part to follow a personal directive to seek and understand…or know what is different and sometimes quite frightening or shocking to the conventionally conditioned human with limited mind (which we all have to some extent).

    You are right about bringing more of what is at our disposal – all our five senses plus the heart in alignment with the heart…and spirit…and soul…and all the deeper senses that have mostly been unconscious….buhhhhht…a little less so for some these days (You all know who you are, so don’t be coy).

    Your topic, story and line of reasoning does spark a really good consideration that if followed, will take one quite deep. It did for me, so thanks for that.

    Be well…all of you! You are so blessed!


    • What an interesting story, Ian. I’m glad you shared it. I agree, it can be so confusing as we go through life and encounter experiences that have us questioning ourself, especially as that relates to our own gender, our sexuality, and how we feel toward our own usually is reflected in how we feel toward others, if that makes sense.

      Your insights are spot on, I would say, in terms of the person you encountered feeling drawn to you because you are loving.

      Decades ago I felt very attracted to a woman sexually, and it was a little confusing to me, but I never followed up on it but just decided to enjoy the feeling. Another time I did become physically intimate with another woman, but it turned out to be disappointing.

      I think back then I was just searching for something.

      I used to think there were only two genders. I am a late bloomer in terms of learning certain things in life. I love that there are many expression of spirit. And many ways to express our soul. Why be limited to just two genders? Gender fluid is also an option.

      There are times I would love to wear a suit and tie, and some fancy Italian leather man shoes. And there are times I love to wear feminine clothes.

      As a woman it’s so much easier to do the men’s clothing thing, but men wearing feminine clothing or lipstick or painting their nails, not so much, at least around these here parts of Florida.

      There was a young man I knew, a barista at Starbucks, who was transitioning from being a woman. One day I accidentally said yes, ma’am to him when he asked me if I wanted room for cream in my coffee.

      Initially I felt embarrassed but then I realized that it really isn’t an insult to anyone to say yes, ma’am unless they are afraid of their own feminine.

      Needless to say he wasn’t insulted.

      • Oh, I forgot to mention, my first hubby was bi…and he wore skirts around the house, except they weren’t really skirts, per se. they were sarongs he purchased while in India. The men there wore them all the time.

        As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing sarong with that. Hahaha. Oi, it’s late.

  5. LOL!!!

    I got a sarong! I have to lift it when I go down the stairs so I don’t trip. Now I know! LOL

    MAYBE WE DONT HAVE TO BE CONFUSED AT ALL! Think…Human, and it explains everything.

    Sleep well

  6. Nothing Sarong! I’m gonna tell that one to the teachers. One of them read “Sparkle Boy” at circle time. I literally cringed AND I’M A GAY! Little boys that wear sparkle dresses and sparkle nail polish? But like I said in a previous statement a few days ago when I was commenting on your art (which I am now looking at differently)…there’s things about my sexuality I look at peripherally…I think now it might be because of my male conditioning,

    ROLF! One of the kids asked me what I was going to come as on Halloween. I said, “A nurse.” But now maybe I’ll come as “Sparkle Boy.” The lead Teacher (the Cancerean) would probably get it…she’s like….super progressive. I might get some looks from the parents (and that could be bad…but good). I wonder how brave I could be…

    Thanks for the laugh, Maria (I’m cracking up…”Nothing Sarong….ROFL”).

  7. Barbara also said something that goes quite nicely in this. She said,
    “I think that androgynous is correct in the really big picture, but, in my opinion, has nothing to do with sexual partners in 3D, but everything to do with the merge/marriage of Soul with Human while in human form.”

    If anyone conceives a thing that is not NOW, then it remains within the ever present potential. The thing is…what she says IS true…it is present. I think though people now, generally speaking of the majority, don’t have the language to express it…and we name it and speak of it differently then what it is…so it’s not identified. Maybe?

    I dunno…what she says seems so simple NOT to be true. I think what she says is absolutely 100% correct…but like I was talking about with regard to your divine feminine themed art; a lot of it I look at peripherally because I don’t see myself directly in it EVEN THOUGH there is still a part of me that reacts to it…but I don’t understand what that reaction is because (probably) of conditioning…gay as I am…progressive as I am…liberally thinking as I am, I still have a lot of blind spots…

    …BUT something inside me sees something. I just don’t have the language to say what it is…I can only say what it is not.

  8. LOL…OMG…(the cascade of thought never ends for me)…and “What it is NOT” is such a small thing…really and if you (and I) really think about it. The is a line from “Moon Struck” (I’m a gay…I know my Cher) when Loretta’s mother is talking to the older guy (the womanizer) that’s hitting on her because his latest young woman student rejects him for his profound misogynist attitudes (Throws water in his face in the restaurant…which happens to him A LOT). When he’s done explaining how this always happens to him…and he is telling her that he sees something in her (an older woman full of wisdom) that he’d never considered before of older women…she says…”What you don’t know about women IS A LOT.”

    In this scene…it ends with her ALSO rejecting him…but she is tempted…drawn to his…vulnerability [?} maybe? But she says to him…”I know who I am.” And that was enough for her.

    She goes back to her family…and she forgives her husband for being the same way as this other man was…and they renew a declaration of love to each other…renew their vows in front of every one.

    There is so much “Ignor-ance.” And I always look at this word. Sometimes…it’s not knowing…but we actually DO know…but we ignore what we know and we say, “I don’t know.” I call that “Ignor-ance” which to me is a state of ignoring what we know…won’t look at it directly.

    Is it shame? Is it fear (Terror…)? Why do we ignore something that we actually know?

    All that we know…but ignore…THERE IS A LOT OF THAT…far more, I suspect, then we put out into the world that we say we DO know about. We keep it out of sight…out of the light. If it’s not in the light…then I think it’s safe (at least for me) to call it…shadow.

    Here’s a new consideration to what is shadow (or part of it).

    Dang…I love this site!

    What you guys talk about always makes me thing about things in ways I would not on my own.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s