Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Exhausted and Exalted

54 Comments

Image by Maria Chambers

Image by Maria Chambers


Sometimes, as I observe the people I know, their lives seem quite ordered.  Things seem to be going along pretty smoothly.  My friend, Larry is traveling with his hubby, to exotic places, and he’s excited to talk to me about his adventures.

My other friend, Laura, is celebrating her new home and invited me to join her.  She has a thriving business and is happily doing her thing.

My brother just recently visited Greece and explored our father’s home land village, reuniting with old friends and family there.

And, I am happy for my friends, and my family.  I want to see them thrive and enjoy their lives.  They have their families, their businesses, and their rich and interesting lives.

And the temptation is to look at my life right now, and say my life doesn’t remotely look like that.  And then judge it as a bad thing.  Like it needs to look more like theirs.

But the thing is, my life used to look like theirs.  But, really it was never like theirs.  I was kind of going through the motions until I was ready to awaken, or to awaken fully into my multidimensional self.

And in the process, my life started to look less and less like theirs.

Where I am now, where many of us are now, isn’t necessarily a place that is comfortable.  And why would it be?  There is tremendous transformation taking place in our bodies, and our minds

”We are releasing our ancestral DNA for god’s sake.”

We are releasing our ancestral DNA for god’s sake.  Our friends and family aren’t doing that.  We are letting go of our story that goes back to before this Earth was formed.  Who do you know in your own family or circle of friends, if you have any left, that are doing that?

We are moving out of duality.  Letting go of what we thought was reality.  Moving into a 5th dimensional perspective, while also still living in a third dimension.

We are exploring an entirely new energy dynamic.  Trying to understand how it works.  We came here as the explorers and innovators of a new way of being.  We are not here to just settle for another life as the human who goes through the ordinary human iterations from birth to death.

We are in the process of defying death as we have known it.

We are defying death because we have already died to our old selves and are being reborn, but in the same bodies.  And of course those bodies are being transformed, albeit much more slowly than any of us would prefer.

We have faced our deepest fears, and didn’t run from them.  We are allowing the wisdom of our expanded selves to be a part of our everyday human self.

We have been through the darkest of the dark, as the human.

And, we are still here.  We are tired, and we get discouraged, as we wonder if this process is endless, and if we took a wrong turn somewhere.  Are we screwed, and have to live in a harsh, dense reality as a higher dimensional being indefinitely?

We get bored, and we get frustrated.  And we know that nothing in 3D could fill that role that our eternal self can.  Not money, not a relationship, or a career.

We know that there is something we are here for, and it’s not to save the world.  They are where they are.  Most of humanity isn’t going to suddenly become enlightened.  That’s going to take a while yet.

But, we knew that.  We knew we came here to awaken ourselves, and to radiate our soul’s joy.  We knew we wouldn’t be recognized by others who are still deep into duality.

RELEASE THE WOUNDS

Art by Maria Chwmbers

Image by Maria Chambers

When I see how others are experiencing trauma from long past events, like sexual assault, or emotional traumas from being abandoned, I have compassion for them.  I too have experienced such events.

But I have noticed that now I no longer carry the wounds.  I can look at those experiences from a more expanded perspective, and I have detached from the emotions of the events.  Not deny the emotions,  there’s a difference,

But after some time in this process of consciously living, we notice that we are no longer carrying around our old stories.  That’s huge.

We are moving into a profound place, where we no longer identify with the trauma and the wounds.  You become lighter, and you may not recognize that until you see someone crying because they were traumatized in their younger years, as if they are reliving them.

WE ARE JUST WHERE WE NEED TO BE

So, when I wonder why my life doesn’t look more like Joel’s  or Laura’s, or Mindy’s life, I have to remind myself that I am just where I need to be.

There are days I feel like I am too tired to do anything, or too bored to stay here, and days that I feel the joy of this soul of mine and the sensuality of this time and space reality.

But I try not to evaluate the ‘bad’ days as bad,  because they don’t look like someone else’s life.

And as infuriating as it gets watching the news, I remind myself that the world is where it is at, and it doesn’t have to affect me.  I get to choose, as the Master, how I want to feel.

As the Master, we get to enjoy the goings on out there from a purely ‘entertainment purposes’ perspective.

So as uncomfortable as it is for us on the forefront of the Consciousness shift, because, those going first are the most uncomfortable, I know that all is well, and that my Eternal Self has my back.

Image by Maria Chambers

If you resonate with this message, you are absolutely on the forefront of the new consciousness.  An explorer of the new.  You don’t fit in with the rest of humanity, and that’s a good thing,  it means you are here for vastly different reasons than the people you know.

And the less you try to fit in, and the less you compare where you are to where they are, the easier it will be for you.

And if you have moved beyond caring what anyone thinks and you have embraced who you are, kudos because that is a good place to be.  And if you can enjoy duality while knowing it’s not your true reality, that’s a great place to be.

And everything you are feeling is appropriate.  Anger, sadness, doubt, fear.  Nothing wrong here.  All of that is appropriate.  This isn’t about being a poster child for smiles, sweetness, and sugary spiritual platitudes.

This is a serious undertaking, and even though we feel exhausted, it is an undertaking  that is deeply honored and exalted.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. P!ease feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers,

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Eight years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

54 thoughts on “Exhausted and Exalted

  1. Excellent, Maria, I feel exactly like this, and when I read what you wrote, I realize that I am not alone and that there are many soul companions and friends on this path and I encourage myself with the perspective ahead. I am grateful to you for the enriching insights you give us.

  2. Earlier today while doing dishes and making lunch I felt like a groundhog day again, just repeating the same stuff every day ad nauseam. It feels like being a stone – just sitting while the world around you buzzes and stuff happen to everybody else like you described.

    The worst part is the feeling of meaninglessness. Nothing has any meaning except the one you define, and you cannot make-believe any. We really are just playing the Truman show here, and nothing we do matters much (even to us). Our role is just to be here and auto-pilot this process. The change is never-ending yet measured in decades, centuries and in millennia to come. A blink for humanity but ****ton of boredom for auto-pilots. How exhilarating!

    • Beyond bored…..yeah, it does feel like Groundhog Day, for sure, but at least Bill Murray seemed to get into the groove after awhile and just enjoy himself. Lol. It is worrisome that for those on the other side of the veil, the word ‘soon’ can mean for us here another decade or two or three. When you haven’t been physical for awhile, you forget what it’s like, and the day to day challenges of being here.

    • Beyond Bored,

      I’m going down the list of comments [at work waiting for “something” to happen that animates my purpose for being here: My charge has a seizure. No Seizure, poop, pee or tantrum? I get to read soulsoothingsounds.com].

      You said something that struck me…like a reverberating GONG! You said, “Nothing has any meaning except the one you define, and you cannot make-believe any.”

      Odd how things “Strike” me these days; strike in ways not as they did before…less emotional charge…and more meaningful charge. Hmmmm.

      Earlier, two of the girls in the class were playing near where I sit watching. They were playing “Mommy and Mommy.” One of them came up to me, and she was jabbering/prattling away about their stuffed dragon being the baby. Then she said, “Mr. Ian…you have to be the Daddy because you have to watch out for all the kids. You are the daddy.”

      Sigh….sigh sigh sigh. Don’t be mad about my response.

      I said, “No, J****e. I’m the nurse. I’m not the daddy. I do look after all the kids, but I really only watch one child. Can you find another kid to be the daddy because I’m the nurse.”

      “OK….[she looks around]….M***n, you be the daddy.” [M***n…downcast in front of his legos]….”o.k.”

      Seems we do actually get to a point when we can not “Make Pretend.” We can’t MAKE something real that isn’t real….not yet anyway…not quite like SciFi.

      But like you said, also, Beyond Bored….”Nothing has any meaning except the one you define….”

      When we grow up, we are meant to stop making pretend and then switch to making meaning.

      But here we are…HERE in this phase of making meaning; well beyond making pretend. That said, sometimes the habitual mind really does dabble in the pretend…out of which we have learned to get out of pretty quickly because unconscious living is really ridiculous if that’s what meaning we have made of it. It’s pretend! It’s past or future. It’s not what’s real NOW right here within the realm of all I see in front of me; never mind the subjective “Aware of”. Big deal to that. I’m “Aware” of everything my mind knows. That’s enough to be going on with…for now).

      LOL

      …And still…that GONG is still reverberating. It seems to me, still…there is something more. It seems that there is a “Beyond” making meaning just as making meaning is beyond making pretend. What is it?

      It is tantalizing! What’s more that we, in human limitation such as it is NOW, can’t yet see that is beyond meaning? Is it not infinite?

      Sorta sucks being finite…even as infinity is all around us (likely running right through us; above and below us, and we’re just sorta stuck at making meaning)

      Have a good day you all.

  3. Thank you so much 🙂 I was feeling like this today and really felt it’s endless, for a moment compared myself to family around me and wished I could go back to being ignorant, repeating the same patterns hiding behind the 3D life, but I can’t. Your post really made me not feel alone. Xx

    • You are so welcome, Nas, and yes, if only we could take that red pill…..go back into the matrix and forget everything we learned. I take heart in knowing that I will never have to repeat any of that pain again. Even in my worst moments now, they are not the same as back in my old life, when I felt that existential despair. I felt so disconnected from myself, even though I had loving friends and family around me,

      And, it is so important to come together like this and share our joys and our tribulations, with kindred souls. 💕

  4. Excellent , I think we are ina different shift now. We are all with you. Though I do have to say Greece sounds tempting. Thank you for your insights🦋

    • Diane, I think you are right, something has shifted. It’s palpable, even if our outer life doesn’t reflect it. But these days I measure my ‘progress’ by how I am feeling. There seems to be a reset of my frequency, and when I fall below that bar of joy, it can feel a million times worse than it did in the past. In other words, connected vs. disconnected is more pronounced, if that makes sense.

      For me there seems to be less anxiety or fear around certain survival issues that in the past would have taken a lot more of my attention. There is more of a feeling of ‘meh’ rather than a ‘oh my god, this is terrible.’

      And yes, Greece is amazing. I visited years ago, and it changed me. An incredible experience.

  5. Thanks dearest Sistar Goddess! Yes yes, a gazillion times yes. With you all the way. And you always say it so well. Thanks darling for being you and sharing with the world!

    Love you tons and tons!!!!

    E

  6. Reblogged this on Infinite Shift and commented:
    Editor’s note: a wonderful article about what it is like for those of us on the forefront of the wave.

  7. Brilliant post….again!!! And so timely.

    ‘I have detached from the emotions of the events.  Not deny the emotions,  there’s a difference,’……Yes, yes, a huge difference, which is at the core of liberation.

    ‘You become lighter, and you may not recognize that until you see someone crying because they were traumatized in their younger years, as if they are reliving them.’…… This happened to me, literally 2 nights ago! I really do forget how people hold on to things. I have observed that in those who have tried to let go of the old traumas and have managed to detach from some of the related emotions, there still seems to be the injustice (combined with lack of retribution) that they can’t let go of, which is rooted in anger. It is a long process indeed. But we know that it is doable. We are the living proof.

    ‘it is an undertaking that is deeply honored and exalted.’ Thank you for reminding us of this….the boredom and all can really feel like we are not doing/being anything worthy of honour. But we ARE!! Of course! xxx

    • Yes, Gail, it is interesting to observe how most people are still processing their wounds, regardless of how long ago it happened. And really, traditional therapy won’t resolve any of that, because it’s not something the human mind is equipped to resolve. And most therapists are still in 3D, and have a limited range of tools. They are still operating from the mental sphere. From the belief that the client and everyone else is just a human with a mind and a body.

      Until people acknowledge their multidimensional nature, there can be no real resolution.

      And that’s what has been happening with us. We have allowed a process in which our eternal self, our soul, whatever we want to name it, is doing all the resolving for us. Of course that does feel at rimes like we are purging emotionally, but it’s not from a place of trying to figure anything out from the mind. It just evolves naturally.

  8. Resonating big time!! And SO IT IS My Fellow Forerunner 💞

  9. I’m going to quit trying so hard. Working so hard. Ha! That is a big one for me, overachiever than I AM. Thanks everyone! Love

  10. “And of course those bodies are being transformed, albeit much more slowly than any of us would prefer.” >>>> This. I feel my body so lifted up lately, like the weight I was carrying in it was removed and its been great, thank you universe. I too sometimes wonder why the hell I’m where I am now, since its far away from where I wanted to be by now in literal location but this feeling of right place and right time keeps me going and i’m more in peace with that… Yesterday I was reading about how the first baloon flight happened only 283 years ago and planes.. well 115+- so yeah for first time I took a resumed look at humanity evolution and thought about how after jesus things gone way on a weird and lazy route.. hahahahaha cause what.. we took a thousand years to invent something that would take us to another places……. i don’t know if the insight is clear but its here and there hahaha I mean what the hell have airplanes in common with ascension? I guess everything since there’s part of humanity counciousness that still believe the earth is flat………………….. so…………. thats the point at colletive counsciousness hahahaha We at forefront just need to relax and……. accept that things just got started even though we wish with our whole hearts that everything could change in a blink of an eye. I guess its just our souls remembering that the real US don’t give a damn about time……. we are sure having fun……….. even when we think we’re not

    I missed being here with you all
    lots of love
    Tainara.
    (I’m back at blogging so I build a new place)

    • Yes, Tainara. So true…we just need to relax into our ascension, and let this process unfold. We can do it that way, or we can kick and scream going through it…but it’s still going to take as long as it takes. And, knowing that, why not just enjoy the ride. It’s why I always make sure I get out for my coffee, and have a reserve of good chocolate at home. Hahaha.

      And yes, so true, our eternal SELF doesn’t give a damn about time.

      Yes, and it’s so true, evolution is slow as far as 3D is concerned. Maybe technology is advancing swiftly, but human consciousness, not so much.

      The Planet, humanity Is at its formative stages of its ascension, and so be it. We didn’t come here to save the planet, but to awaken ourselves, and to just radiate our own light. And those who are coming in behind us benefit from our own balance.

      We are not novices. We came in with a deep wisdom, with lifetimes of experience, and we are, on a deep level, teachers, each in our own way.

      I’m glad you are here. Thanks for your wisdom. Love to you my friend. 💕

      • Oh dear Maria.. your words! ♥ Exactly! That’s how I’m becoming more and more tolerant lately.. like “oh ok that’s fine” even with myself.. and it has been hm pretty funny and enjoyable! I just get a bit sad if I see someone saying that can’t wait till go away from here.. I mean I get this world is crazy but it’s still so beautiful and we’re family! but I do understand why people feel this way as I already felt that way along the road.. lately I’m just… EVERYTHING IS SO BEAUTIFUL LOOK AT THIS…… even the worst things carry beauty within we just have to look at it and allow it to show! of course my past self wouldn’t feel this way but that’s exactly about how beautiful this whole experience is… THANK YOU for YOUR wisdom.. lots of love always. And I wanted to know that I just got the guts to stand up and share my experiences about ascension in a blog inspired also by you and your blog.. here in brazil there’s sure a big community of light workers but they’re more into channelling than…. talking.. and I do miss having like-minded ascension fellas to talk with in a more Human level as we do here.. I mean duh we’re all human so let’s talk about what we’re experiencing! so I decided stopping waiting someone to show up with this kind of chats and talkings and……. started it myself!!!!! hahaha so there’s a bit of you on it AND THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lots of love always………… and thank you for inspiring us being YOU.

        • Tainara…I’m so happy you are loving yourself, having compassion for yourself, and allowing yourself to feel the joy of this time and space reality, and to express that joy, and not wait for others in your community to get it.

          That’s the Master in action!

          And I’m so glad you come here also to share your light and joy and your human-ness with us. And, feel free to put the link to your blog in the comments here.

          Much love to you my wise friend. 💕

          • Maria.. one of the infinite best things about you and this palce is the atmosphere of love that we breath on together… everyone is free to just be ……… without any fear of judgement.. cause this was took out of equation… I FEEL THAT THIS IS WHAT ASCENSION MEANS and looks like and that this is what it feels like to have HEAVEN ON EARTH……… 5d? yes yes yes yes this space of loving and accepting one another is the aim of all proccess we volunteered to…. so yes I let the illusions fall while hanging on this love and compassion…

            lots of love.. and thank you…

  11. Hi Maria,

    do you or anyone else here feel that something happened 2 or 3 days ago. I know we are releasing on a constant basis but I feel I let go a HUGE chunk of old crap and I kinda felt like it was global. It might have something to do with the beginning of autumn and the chaning seasons but sth. major really did happen. Not that I’m seeing any outward results yet but that’s not so important at the moment. Just wondering of anyone else can relate
    Much love
    Kat

    • Hi Kat, as I feel into your question, I have to say, yes. I did feel some kind of shift. Hard to put it into words, for me it was more subtle, but definitely something new that I haven’t felt before. And like you say, not something that we can see externally at this point.

      And feeling substantially lighter emotionally, so maybe that constitutes a letting go of old crap, as you say.

      I would also be interested in others’ imput.

      • “And feeling substantially lighter emotionally”

        That’s it. And I felt that it had to be released in order for us to get to the next level energetically. Sounds very vague but that is the feel about it. It must have had something to do with the autumn equinox, too

        • Yeah, Kat, even though I live in Florida, and some say it’s summer here all year round, not so. I can feel the changes in season, autumn specifically, although it’s subtle.

          Good way to put it, going to the next level energetically.

          It’s easy to dismiss our progress because of the gravity we find ourselves surrounded by. It tends to pull at the most advanced of souls, and then they begin to doubt their own progress, although I don’t like using that word, progress. Maybe a better way to say it is our awareness. The unfolding of our awareness.

          • It feels like peeling an onion. We are being stripped off of stuff that doesn’t belong anymore. I can actually feel that I m still holding on to some old thoughts and convictions, either out of fear or out of habit. I’m not trying to force them off as I feel it’s the wrong way to go about it. But just being aware of them helps letting them go over time

        • “It feels like peeling an onion. We are being stripped off of stuff that doesn’t belong anymore. I can actually feel that I m still holding on to some old thoughts and convictions, either out of fear or out of habit. I’m not trying to force them off as I feel it’s the wrong way to go about it. But just being aware of them helps letting them go over time”

          exaaaactly where i’m at this very moment Kat 💖💖💖

          recently had been spending some time in an environment the put me face to face with what felt like my last go round with “the old me”. i think actually did really grow out of so much through the friction and confrontational energy i was in there, but also felt myself at times zig-zagging between falling back into old energy and trying to hard to force growth out of it, mostly because i was tangling in other people’s energies. this weekend i removed myself from the environment completely and the second i made the decision to step away, i felt such peace because i realized i can know be in the very place you describe of not forcing it… now i can be more calmly aware of the fears and habits i am still holding and repeating, and also start letting those energies peacefully fall away as i am authentically ready to let them go.

          • omg the typos 😂😂😂… lemme try again lolllll

            “It feels like peeling an onion. We are being stripped off of stuff that doesn’t belong anymore. I can actually feel that I m still holding on to some old thoughts and convictions, either out of fear or out of habit. I’m not trying to force them off as I feel it’s the wrong way to go about it. But just being aware of them helps letting them go over time”

            exaaaactly where i’m at this very moment Kat 💖💖💖

            recently i had been spending some time in an environment that put me face to face with what felt like my last go round with “the old me”. i think i actually did really grow out of so much old energy through the friction and confrontational energy i was in there, but also felt myself at times zig-zagging between falling back into old energy and trying to hard to force growth out of it, mostly because i was tangling in other people’s energies. this weekend i removed myself from the environment completely and the second i made the decision to step away, i felt such peace because i realized i can now be in the very place you describe of not forcing it… now i can be more calmly aware of the fears and habits i am still holding and repeating, and also start letting those energies peacefully fall away as i am authentically ready to let them go.

          • Hi sweet pea,

            so good to hear from you !

            now i can be more calmly aware of the fears and habits i am still holding and repeating, and also start letting those energies peacefully fall away as i am authentically ready to let them go.”

            Yes that’s it. Just being aware of them and acknwledging them and even being ok with them seems to do the trick. I ‘m in no place to force anything anymore anyway

      • Okay here’s my input…AN ASTOUNDING YES!! For what seems like weeks my body has felt beyond beat up/extremely heavy ladened, honestly yesterday I was like wtf, am I ever going to feel better!!? Well….today it has lifted, and I do mean LIFTED!!! What a RELIEF!!
        Love, Light, and big huge hugs to everyone here in our sacred community, and THANK YOU MY MARIA!! 💞💫✌🏼️

    • Kat I did feel that something happenned this week worldwild but I’m still not tunned to the fact itself. I’ve heard a lot about astral cleannings this weeks and I also feel something different about myself and the way I relate to my body experience like maria described as ” feeling substantially lighter emotionally” and I would add mentally too.

      • Hi eumultidimensional

        I also did hear about astral clearings and helping stuck souls cross over to the other side. Alison Allan did it on a big scale (I follow her on facebook and watch her youtube occassionally).
        I don’t know whether that has sth. to do with us letting go of stuff, it really felt to me that it’s time to let go of these things. They are old and outdated and don’t belong anymore

        • Kat interesting you bring up the astral clearings…that’s along the lines of what i’ve been working on letting go of. not souls crossing over, but clearing energies in the living… and not sure if this will make annnnny sense at all, but here goes… basically i feel like i realized that in my journey i have been repeating a pattern of taking on collective energy coming through other people i am connecting with on astral levels… so not in direct contact with people and not even their direct issues 😩 i wish i could describe it better than that, but what i’ve been feeling the past few days is that i’m taking these collective energies they are holding or needing to clear on so personally that i’m attempting to clear them and i’m also trying to figure out how to get them to make sense between me and the other person… but they don’t because it’s not 2nd hand, but 3rd hand issues… and again it’s all happening on an astral level, not in actual human interaction. it’s exhausting because it leaves me with no rhyme or reason to what’s happening or to makes sense of the energy i start to think that person is projecting towards me becuase the energy has nothing to do with either of us or our connection, and i feel like i realized i’ve been doing this for years in multiple relationships 😩😩😩 to give a specific example of what i mean… this has happened a few times with people who are no longer physically in my life, but i still experience energy with them for a time.

          again not sure if that makes annnny sense, but i have been feeling like this has been shaping who i am and how i respond to things for yearssss. in most cases the energies are abusive or dysfunctional in nature, and im responding by shaping who i am to cater to them… i feel like it’s been completely holding me back and i’ve been needing to make an actual shift in how i exist because this is a behavior i’m repeating again and again… and it’s literally holding me back from discovering who i truly am 🤷‍♀️

          • wow that’s major sweet pea. I can kinda understand what you mean. This especially struck a chord:

            ” this has happened a few times with people who are no longer physically in my life, but i still experience energy with them for a time.”

            I felt my twin flame many years after we cut contact in real life. But I’m sure it was HIS issues that went through me, triggered me and thus helped him and me clear some ancient shit. So not exactly what you have been experiencing.
            Do you know where this comes from and why you have been experiencing this?

          • hey Kat,

            honestly it feels like something i just started realizing was happening the past few days. i think it has actually been like what you say with your twin flame, like how you say it was his “ancestral stuff” you helped clear… like i think that’s maybe exactly what i mean… so that i feel like i tune into not just their direct issues, but i take on their layers and layers of junk from their various lifetimes or collective lineages even, so what i’m taking on is something i can’t make sense of in proportion or relation to what i experienced in this lifetime with them… does that make sense? so the energy i feel from them feels like they are either “mad at me” for something, or are projecting onto me something that does not at all make sense to what actually happened between us when i physically knew them.

            really in all these situations, it was people who treated me poorly when i physically knew them, and then once i leave the connection physically, i experience all these energetic things. some of them are actually on the good spectrum…like beautiful and even magical moments of guidance. then there are these whole other spectrum of experiences where i get these absolutely horrible energies from them… and completely nonsensical to what actually happened between us. like say if they cheated on me, post connection i get energy of them acting like I cheated on THEM 😩 does that make sense? it’s just bizarre because i feel like i sort of scream into the sky trying to grasp sense of it, but there isn’t any 😔

            anyways, i realized that i am actually soooo in tune to energy that i’ve been literally shaping who i am as a person based on these non-tangible l, non-physical energetic experiences, because i’m catering to, reacting to, choosing my own behaviors and even beliefs of who i am as a person, in response to them 😢 just having an overwhelming realization of much i’ve been letting energy that is not “me” become part of me and dictate who i believe i am.

        • Well I never heard about her, I follow only a couple foreign lightworkers, 😂 I think there’s a connection if we look from the perspective that we’re all one so in a way we’re tied together, like if there’s certain amount of people that hold the same energetic pattern about a certain subject it’s more difficult to a singular one let go.. not impossible as we’re all doing this for a while since it’s our job at the forefront but if a group of stuck souls has gone to light all things they had in common in vibration has gone too so what we hold inside is much easier to let go then, as we’re open to release everything!!! That’s how I see it anyway. 😍❤ Lots of love, Tainara.

  12. “And of course those bodies are being transformed, albeit much more slowly than any of us would prefer.”

    Maria this is me so much right now. in fact this really has been what feels like the biggest struggle on my whole journey. i loop through this pattern of punishing myself for being so affected by it, but recently have come to what feels like a final settling within myself that i truly will not feel free until my physical being reflects my soul. and there is no way around it for me. there is no after-school-special “you’re beautiful how you are” or “you can be fulfilled despite illness” philosophy that sits right in me or brings me any peace. i’ve tried over and over to “trick myself” into acceptance that my body just may never heal, but it literally feels like the death of my soul to take that idea on.

    the only time i ever feel any peace about it is when i just let myself hold the idea that it will happen, my body will heal and transform, and that patience is the only state i need to be in about my body – not talking myself out of my hopes for healing and change like i’ve tried, but just being patient with the process. the one thing i find a faith in is that my physical being has going through DRASTIC changes – like unrecognizable things – they’ve just all been for the worse. but the thing that gives me faith from that is that my being IS changing, it is a transformable thing, it is a physical energy that can become different physical energy… so if it can change for the worse, it can change for the better – it can change is all i need to know.

    • Sweet pea,

      what you say here is perfect. I wholeheartedly agree with it. I don’t think any of us, after everything we have gone through, on a physical, mental and emotional level, and have come to a place of such awareness and consciousness….I don’t think any of us would want to stay here if we are not physically recalibrated.

      And I too firmly believe that is not asking too much.

      And, it seem to be requiring more patience. But, agreed, patience not with accepting that we will stay with a diseased body, but patience with an understanding that this process will deliver our heart’s desires.

      Embodied enlightenment is not about compromising our joy, and that joy must include the joy of having a healthy body.

      The other day a man came into starbucks in a wheelchair. He was with a friend, another man. The man in the wheelchair had no arms or legs. I felt uncomfortable for a moment, not being able to imagine life in that condition.

      But then I realized, I already went through lifetimes of pain and struggle and hardship and learning through disease and learning through being rich and poor and being a man and a woman, and being powerful and being powerless.

      I am, we are, in a profoundly different place now, and, yes we understand that we can reach levels of joy regardless of our circumstances. But we won’t be able to go forward if we have to struggle physically indefinitely.

      A wise Ascended master, Adamus, once said, “The physical body can stop the Master dead in their tracks.”

      In other words, if you are in pain physically, you are not going to be so interested in enlightenment, because the physical body will take up too much of your time and attention.

      Nice hearing from you, sweet pea, spelling mistakes and all.

  13. “make sense of in proportion or relation to what i experienced in this lifetime with them… does that make sense”

    sweet pea it makes SO MUCH sense . Exactly what happened with my TF and me years ago

    “so the energy i feel from them feels like they are either “mad at me” for something, or are projecting onto me something that does not at all make sense to what actually happened between us when i physically knew them.”

    my TF remembered on a subconscious level that I cheated on him in our last life together and was mistrustful as soon as he saw me for the 1st time in this life and I felt guilt because of cheating in our past life. It’s great you have become aware of this strange mechanism and I’m sure you’ll detangle yourself from it more sooner than later

    • “It’s great you have become aware of this strange mechanism and I’m sure you’ll detangle yourself from it more sooner than later”

      yes Kat EXACTLY what i feel like is “dawning” on me. and really i’m feeling like the first baby step is simply to stop trying to make linear sense of it, and definitely to stop choosing my own behaviors and energy in response to it. that feels like the most important thing. i feel like once i start doing that, like when i can shift to where i simply observe it without engaging or reacting, then i’m going to feel myself move into different energies that will guide me from there… like i’ll be able to shift into a place of making positive changes and growing out of old energies vs repeatedly tangling in them.

      ugh thanks for helping me work this out a little lolll. i felt like i couldn’t get a grasp on what in the good gracious has been happening, but what you say makes perfect sense ❤️❤️❤️

      • Happy to help my friend and I’m sure you’ll free yourself from this soon. you just had to realise it, which you did 🙂
        big hug
        kat

  14. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts. I needed the reminder, as the path can be scary at times. I have great love and appreciation for anyone having the courage to share the experience. I am not there yet, and your message is so encouraging. Love and Light to you . xo

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