Love and Freedom

Image by Maria Chambers

Love is that four letter word that has gotten some pretty bad press.  It’s been used and abused, mostly for personal agenda by those who don’t have a clue what love really is.

It’s been used to manipulate, with proclamations such as, If you love me you will….if you cared, you should have, you wouldn’t…….(fill in the blank.)

Love has been conflated with things like taking care of others before self, sacrificing for others, being obligated to and responsible for others emotionally.  Making sure they are comfortable in their unconscious state.

And not just for family and friends, but for humanity in general.

It can get very confusing for those who are in their ascension process to try to reconcile their anger, their impatience, and their sense of detachment with the old call to be all-loving.

This new place we find ourselves in seems to go against our old reflex response of being accommodating, and available for others.  No, this is not a new topic but it’s an important one.

Many people in our sphere were used to that old response in us.  Some try even now to pull us back into it.  And even when we stay true to ourselves, and do not give in, there is that residual guilt, and even shame.


Image by Maria Chambers

A few years ago, I gave into the guilt, and went out to dinner with someone, when I really wanted to pass.  It was Thanksgiving, and I worked really diligently on not being available for holiday celebrations.  I even told this friend that I would rather pass, but I gave in.

Before we sat down to eat, I fell down a short staircase at the restaurant and sprained my ankle.  I knew immediately what was happening.  I hobbled around in pain, but did stay at least for dinner.

Afterward, the friend actually thanked me for going to dinner with him, saying that he appreciated that I knew how much it meant to him, even though I didn’t really want to do it.

Essentially, he was thanking me for sacrificing in the name of love.

That is a dangerous message to send to our mates, our children, and our friends.  And it’s not a new one, it’s been used for eons of time.  Sacrifice in the name of love.  Small sacrifices, and large ones.

But the experience helped me to see where I was still holding onto guilt, and that holding onto it was becoming too dangerous for me.


Image by Maria Chambers

As we move into our enlightenment, it becomes increasingly important to be true to our own self, in small and large ways.  Because if we keep giving into the small ways, they lead to the large ones.

There are those less conscious who will take advantage of our need to accommodate.  And it’s a gateway to feeding on our energies.  It’s not always easy to spot, because it often comes from nice enough folks.

And it’s not just locally, with family, friends, and neighbors.  It’s humanity writ large.  It’s accomodaring all the thoughts and emotions flying around out there.  The pain, and suffering.  It’s a seductive energy for sure. And for the most part we have moved past those, and we have compassion for human kind, while not indulging in sympathy, or even empathy with them.

Compassion is defined as understanding where they are, but not taking on their suffering along with them.  Because as soon as we tap into their wounds, and even our old ones, we are not in our freedom.

Our freedom will not come to us if we insist on continuing to sacrifice and suffer.  Whether it’s as light workers, or as women.  The need to nurture those who are not interested in their own self-nurturance will only serve to delay our own freedom.

We become sensitive to the red flags of emotional dependency and neediness from others.  In the past we may have welcomed that dependency as a sign that we were important and were fulfilling our role as light workers and as women.

But now it’s not such a good feeling when it comes up.  And that’s a good sign.  It’s a sign we are getting closer to understanding what love is about, and what it means to own our freedom.

Love is about self-acceptance and compassion for our self, first and foremost.

It’s not, I will love everyone else first, and whatever is left I will then use to love myself.  It’s loving ourself first, nurturing ourself first, and whatever is left over, then, and only then to share that love as it feels appropriate.

This of course goes against everything we were taught about love.

We are not here to regurgitate old ways of being and feeling.  We chose this arduous path for a reason.  Many of us wanted to experience a true love and a true freedom, a freedom which is our birthright.  But it took the bravest of souls to claim that freedom, and that love.

Our expanded self, our soul, our eternal self…whatever you want to name it…is already free, and is already in love with itself, and in love with us, its human counterpart.


Image by Maria Chambers

As the human we may never completely release the old wounds which led us into needing to over-nurture and take on emotionally what others are not willing to take on themselves.

But the good news is, we don’t have to be completely free of our past patterns.  We can, however, align ourselves more and more with our eternal counterpart.  And that part of us can take care of those wounds for us.

Allowing our soul to do its thing more and more is not dangerous.  It’s not going to hurt us.  It will actually make life easier for us.  Because our soul isn’t willing to compromise its own joy and freedom for anyone or anything.

For the human whose life has been largely built on compromise, it seems like a far-fetched proposition.  This freedom thing sounds unrealistic in a world in which love and compromise are synonymous.

Image by Maria Chambers

But at this point, there seems to be a momentum pulling us more and more into doing less of that which does not bring us joy.  Even if the alternative is just some boredom.  Many of us will take our chances on feeling dispassioned rather than compromise our energies on anyone or anything that doesn’t line up with our soul.

And even those in our life, with whom we have established relationships, are sensing something different with us.  That’s good.  Don’t take it as a bad sign.  We are going to affect those around us.  It doesn’t mean we don’t love them, or care about them, but it does mean that we are discovering and putting into practice our new and improved perspective on love.

How they respond to that is not our problem.  Detaching from outcomes is good.  We are in a safe space now, because we are creating a 5th dimensional reality for ourselves.  Not for others.  They will need to do that for themselves as well, in their own time.

We are being coaxed into a new way of perceiving reality.  For each of us it’s an intensely personal experience, yet there are common denominators that connect us all.  One of which is that we can’t straddle both the old way of self-sacrifice and the new one of self-love indefinitely.

Enjoy I Came Here To Open Up The Door from Cosmic Blend

Cosmic Blend Album Cover

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14 thoughts on “Love and Freedom

  1. elizabethsadhu

    Thanks dearest Sistar for this. It completely confirms for me what I have been doing and wanting to do, which is less and less engagement with some people. Unfortunately, one of the people is my hubby’s ex, who he INSISTS be in our life. She has been in my life for almost 28 years and in his for 35 or so. I have tried and tried and in the last year I realized how fucking exhausted it has made me. He is very loyal and doesn’t see any problem in the whole thing, since she is such a “good friend”. I am not jealous but I find her extremely taxing and obnoxious and narcissistic and the most needy person I know. Exhaustion! Feeling slightly despondent that I can’t seem to remove her from my life and my most beloved hubby does not get it AT ALL! Thanks for listening. I have named to slightly disengage but it just keeps persisting.

    1. I was in a similar situation with a guy, a few years ago, there was a third person, and it felt like there was a split of energies, very tiring, indeed.

      And, yeah, they don’t get it. Or, they do but don’t want to compromise. Not sure which.

  2. elizabethsadhu

    I get that my hubby and his ex are in this long time lifetimes contract. And neither is willing to break it. I keep chanting the chant for miracles. I do my best to only be in my joy. I love my husband and also tell him when she is around too much. I take it to the Cloud Council a lot. And I trust that the Universe will help with it.

    She took us to dinner the other night as a thank you for taking care of her pets and life while she was gone for a month. It was so embarrassing. She was rude and LOUD and obnoxious. My hubby later said, wow that was the worst service, e waitress was so bad. I said are you kidding? XX was so rude to the waitress and obnoxious and VERY LOUDLY proclaiming and making faces and not saying thank you. He TOTALLY did not see it. Oy! Thanks sweetie Sistar for listening and getting it. Love you!

  3. elizabethsadhu

    I saw myself and The Beans popping popping popping. A friend thinks that we should go to counseling. But it would be a rare counselor out there who would get it. 😀♥️

    1. Doris

      a counselor .. why not
      The question is: What does her behaviour tell you / What reaction does it trigger in you (emotionally, physically) / What words do you use for her or for her behaviour?
      Sit with it. Feel with it. Breath with it. Be aware of what comes up. Let go or ask questions. Be with it.

      Clear it on your inner level.
      Share if you will.
      Love, Doris

      1. But yet again it is US having to deal with it and reconcile OUR RESPONSE to someone else’s dreadful behaviour. No matter what response it provokes (in Anyone) it is THEM doing the Doing and I am sick of hearing that WE have to amend OUR behaviour or attitude or perception, be they exes, men, bosses, in-laws, etc. I truly feel for you, Elizabeth, not being in the position to cast this woman out of your life because she is attached to hubby, not directly to you. It’s like a deal, both of them or neither……sucks!

        So true Maria, that to walk into our freedom we will need to walk away from almost everything we were taught about love……actually from what we were taught about Everything!!!! Big big deal to do this, not for the faint-hearted fluffy-love people……(yet)

        I’ve been exhausted and still am. taking it easy. Love you all xxx

        1. Barbara

          I spent most of today wondering why people seem to need to hurt other people or failing that, then themselves. I read an article by a quite well-known “teacher” who explained that whether she was hurt by another or was saved by another, it was all the same kind of bliss. (Shades of Grey, I thought.) That’s not unconditional love, that’s self-other flagellation! I’ve heard the expression Prison Planet, but seems to me it’s a Pain Planet, where whoever feels the most pain or the most bliss is some kind of winner. So, yes, we need to walk away from everything… everything we were taught about love and just as Gail says, walk away from Everything. It is different kind of hurt, this walking away, than most humans understand, but for us individually and for a new way to be Soul in form, it is a necessity. And darn, me too, I’m exhausted. And though this may go over as insensitive or politically incorrect or aggressive, Elizabeth, I’m not quite sure why you can’t walk away from the situation in which you find yourself. Are we safe? Yes, I think so, but only because we walk away. Love, B.

  4. Hi Barbara, totally agree that what this teacher is describing is NOT unconditional Love. That is just proving to yourself that you can tolerate anything. The bliss is only the self-congratulatory ego boost. Not clever.

    Strikes me too, that if this teacher is seeing it as ‘being hurt’ and ‘being saved’ then she is not very evolved.

    I have to admit that my problem with the takers/abusers/energy thieves is not that they hurt us, but that they steal life from us (and that can be done without hurting people….even by making them happy!!) So to be in bliss about someone stealing your life-force seems utterly stupid to me.

    It’s the ‘I’m able to do it, so I am better/more advanced/cleverer’ attitude of these teachers that feeds insecurity and gets them more course participants. I was teaching with a meditation/yoga group for a while and, believe me, the calm, gentle, loving front these people put on is not evident when the punters can’t see them……Now, who’s stealing others’ life-forces? And telling them they should feel blissful about it?

    It’s a skill, this walking away. And sometimes the walked-away from one tries REAL hard to get back in. And it IS a different kind of hurt….well expressed, Barbara……it is Deep and gut-wrenching and hard to bear, hard to understand and hard to inflict upon ourselves, too. And SO hard because we still don’t actually know what we are walking away FOR (except from visions/dreams)

    I do have times of ‘Yes, everything has to go….yippee…let in the New, etc’ and feel deeply connected to outside of all this matrix-norm. But it’s hard to stay like that for sooooo loonnnng….I mean years and decades!!!!

    My take on being safe is that when we are Connected we are totally and automatically Safe. When we are not Connected we are not safe unless we protect ourselves (primarily by recognising dodgy energy signatures and walking away…..not talking about protection rituals here!!!)

    Thanks Barbara, love you all, Gail xxx

    1. Barbara

      “And SO hard because we still don’t actually know what we are walking away FOR…”

      Or even FROM or TO.

      It occurred to me that Source must have felt somewhat the same… okay, here I am, on my own, would like some company, so I’ll create some! Yikes! What have I done!?!? And it seems to me that in order to understand Source and the idea of creation, we must experience the Nothing of walking away from Everything, or at the very least saying NO to those situations that hurt us.

      My heart goes out to those who are caught in the struggle to survive. I’m retired now and have somehow managed to reach my senior years okay and able to look after myself… self-sufficiency for as long as I can do it is my goal now…but, oh dear the ascension symptoms do take their toll… what I have that keeps me sane, at least in my understanding of sanity, is a sense of humor that kind of ‘gets’ the whole scenario…

      Thanks, Gail, for saying so well what I try to say… Love, B.

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