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For those awakening divine humans

Awakening Ruins Everything!

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2515BB72-CCFE-475B-AB7C-7DA6D1E62140I’m coming up short on finding things to entertain myself with these days.  Netflix, Amazon Prime, YouTube….all feel less and less satisfying.  I relate less and less to it all, not only as a woman, but also as a human.

I do enjoy the production value of the movies or t.v. shows.  I can appreciate the creative aspects, the cinematography, the music, the talent and chemistry of the actors.  But most of the story lines, not so much anymore.

I seem to like documentaries or films based on real life stories.  But I have run through most of them already.

It’s unsettling because I have relied on some form of entertainment now for a very long time.  But the media can go only as far as the consciousness goes.  It tries at times to push farther, but it can’t reflect where I am, where many of us are at right now.  We can’t expect it to.

WHY STAY?

Once we awaken to the point where the reality called 3D doesn’t beckon us like before, why even stay here?

We can try to come up with some seemingly viable answers, like we stay for our kids (those who have kids), or our friends. (Those who still have some.)  Nature, (meh.  I could always come back here and infuse my soul into a butterfly, a squirrel, or a dolphin for awhile).  For humanity.

O.k. maybe for humanity, to be a standard of a balanced, self-loving human who has embodied their Christ consciousness.  But even that wears thin.

Are we staying for ourselves?  To fulfill our soul’s dream to walk this planet as an awakened human, as a human who no longer needs to depend on others for their joy, and who can enjoy the sensual nature of this reality as a sovereign and self-loving human?  A human who is no longer burdened by karma?  A human who no longer carries around their wounds?

It’s never been done before like this.  This is brand new.  It’s really kind of exciting!

But there are no manuals.  There is no report card to see how we are doing, other than how we feel.  There are no guideposts or a five-year plan.

68C5EC15-1008-4A4F-B6A8-3D154767103C

Grades are nonsense

 

We find ourselves being more and more in the moment.  And are being asked to trust that moment will deliver to us just what we need.

From the outside looking in, it looks a little crazy.  At times we feel like we are treading water, and at times like we are not moving at all.

We feel like we have made amazing inner shifts, but our outer life doesn’t seem to reflect it.  At least not yet.  And maybe not to the extent we feel it should by now.

It can be discouraging as hell.  Whose idea was this, anyway?

Oh, wait.  It was ours.  Can’t even blame it on god, or an Alien race.  We are all from various planets and star systems, even if we have lived over a thousand lifetimes here on Planet Earth.  So we can’t blame the Orions or the Archturians or the Pleideans.

Damn this awakening.  It ruins everything!

I for one had a nice, tidy little life going for me.  I had a nice, reliable relationship, complete with an extended family to go with it.  My time was structured.  I knew where to be every day.

There was lots of activity, some fun times.  And lots of drama.

68BB0FFD-E601-4819-9E86-C250EACA9FD5

The nature preserve behind my apartment

THE APARTMENT

In fact, back then I had a new apartment I could have hung out at more often.  But every morning when I woke up  I opted to go to his place.  It was addictive.  I knew what to expect.  I at least belonged somewhere.  Even if that somewhere was in a pretty bad, karmic relationship.

Back then, that nice, new, quiet apartment felt to me empty and lonely.  Kind of how I was feeling inside.

And of course I jest.  I would never go back to being asleep, even if I could.  I couldn’t go back to forgetting who I am, and to being mired in karmic relationships.  Or the anxiety of wondering how I could possibly survive losing those who I became so dependent upon.

What if I had to go to that empty apartment?

As it turns out, I did.  He died, and I was a shell of a woman for awhile.  I had to go back to the apartment and be with all of the emotions I was trying to dismiss for so very long.

And over time I came to love that apartment.  It was no longer empty.  I filled it up with my art, my music, some friends.  And most of all my spirit.

But over the past couple of years, I have taken down most of the art.  I no longer produce music.  I never have anyone over.  The place looks pretty stripped down.

F4BE32B9-BEA8-4B6D-A37B-D0998333395F.jpegOn an inner level, I’ve been slowly dismantling my old story.  I’ve been letting go of my old passions.  It feels like I am getting ready to move, to relocate, but I have no clue where that would be.

The apartment is comfortable enough, but it feels like the comfort I get now is more from me.  And thoughout my years there my radiance has transformed the place, especially my part of the building and surroundings outside.

Over the years I had some pretty rowdy neighbors.  Loud parties, loud arguments between mates, lots of stomping around.  For quite a long time I could hear the conversations of a neighbor on the other side of my bedroom wall.  I knew way too many intimate details of his breakup listening to those long angry phone conversations that went into the wee hours.

Apparently, according to him, she just didn’t understand him.  Right.

But I’m sure that was all a reflection of where I was at, as I was dealing with all the turbulent emotions, including my own anger.

I notice my neighbors are far more quiet these days.  In fact living there feels like it did when I first moved in. The apartment complex was brand new when I first signed the lease, so I was one of the first tenants to move into a multi-tenant building that was virtually empty.  I had the whole building to myself.  It was quiet.  Peaceful.

Yet now, almost twenty years later every apartment in the building is occupied.  And it is quiet and peaceful again.

So it feels like yes, I am still there.  I do love being there.  Yet I have no desire to redecorate the place.  It’s an odd feeling.  Because it’s not depression, like I don’t care about my surroundings anymore.  But it’s like I am in transition.  Yet I have no place to go in my sights.

It’s a strange feeling.  Not a bad one, though.  It’s just different.  Meanwhile, I just signed up for Hulu.  Maybe I’ll give Desperate Housewives another go.

Enjoy It’s A Good Life from Simply Divine

 

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Almost a decade later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

44 thoughts on “Awakening Ruins Everything!

  1. You’re singing my song, sister.

  2. Hear you, Maria, thanks… smiling here… for the memories! And you’re right, we couldn’t go back if we tried. I did recently look at a new place for me and my little cat, but the vibes were not good and I knew I’d have to work my butt off, not only to clean the place, but to get the resonance up. This statement was not ego speaking, that was my truth. And like you say, the 3D ‘entertainment’ is just so blah. Lately I’ve been watching humorous clips on youtube from very old shows… Carol Burnett being one of my favorites. Oh my, the skits were so politically incorrect, they wouldn’t make it through the front door of the studio today. I’ve been reading your posts, Maria, just been too whacked and woofed to comment, not to mention, I really have no idea these days what to say about anything! Love, B.

    • Yes, indeed, Barbara…not ego at all, just the fact that we do affect our environs. And kudos for trusting yourself on that front. To not choose something like a move unless it feels right.

      And it is funny to watch earlier tv and see it from our new perspective. One example is Boston Legal. I loved that tv series when it first aired. But now it’s hard to watch, considering the blatant sexism.

      Awakening sure has ruined a dang lot of my favorite shows and movies for me.

      And, yeah, there are days I too will read stuff online but have no inspiration to respond or comment. I think we all get that, and it’s a relief there is no real pressure in this community to do so.

      In fact I have never felt pressure to write any of my posts. I write them from a place of joy. And that’s why I publish two or three at a time, and sometimes just one, and sometimes a couple of weeks go by without any.

      And I know what you mean about what is there to even say….So some of the posts are just about long tables, or parking spaces 💜

      • So funny! I just recently tried to rewatch Boston Legal. Same exact experience!!!!!

        I have been obsessively watching anything about tiny houses. ☺️☺️☺️

        And I started rewatching Medium. I love that!

        • Yep, Boston Legal. I was sooo excited to see it on Amazon Prime…….and soooo disappointed half way through the first episode. Wow, if that isn’t an indication of our growth, nothing is.

          I used to watch Medium, and it was fascinating. My issue was it felt a bit dark after awhile. Yet I have been drawn to documentaries about murder cases. Also Docs about Psychic investigators who assist the police.

          • Watching that first episode of Boston Legal I looked at the women lawyers and thought WTF!!!! So you really wear that to work? Haha

            I know what you mean about Medium, but I love how the family is. There are def some dark episodes.

            Have you watched The Closer? Kyra Sedgewick is awesome! But I’ll have to try again and see what I think. Ha!

            Love

          • Yes, the female lawyers are more an afterthought, rather than taken seriously. And sadly as with most tv shows and movies, are hyper-sexualized. It’s so surreal that not too many years ago it seemed normal to me. THIS is what girls and women should aspire to? Thank goddess things are changing.

            I’ll have to give Medium another shot. Something at least with a credible female lead.

            I did watch a couple episodes of The Closer a while ago. I can’t remember if I liked it. I’ll check it out. I also recently signed up for Hulu. There are some good things there that are not on Netflix or Amazon. It’s the basic plan….6 bucks a month….not bad if you can tolerate ads. 👀

          • I have Hulu right now. There are some fun things. Tiny house shows for one. I really enjoyed Fixer Upper. They are a fun couple and the man is a kick! And I enjoy seeing houses get fixed up, even though I always think they don’t have to spend SO MUCH MONEY!

            It is so interesting to see how our awareness has shifted. I notice it a lot more with racist stuff, also. White privilege.

            We’ll have to see what we can discover on Hulu, etc and share the joy.

            Love, E

    • So glad I’m not alone in just not knowing what to say anymore! Online, emails, in person. I’ve always been talkative but now It seems i’m usually stumped for words or ideas for topics. (A friend and i also have talked this week about how bored we are with listening to other (3D)peoples stories and talking –just not being able to relate at all and people asserting things as “facts” or always regurgitating some self help personality). Thank you for bringing this up.
      Also Maria–the part about feeling like I’m getting ready to move but no idea where resonated SO VERY much. Not to mention being bored with usual entertainments. You really hit all the nails on the head with this post!
      Love you all xxxooo

      • Elila, yeah, it’s definitely a strange place to be. In the past when I was ready to move it was usually because I was excited about my next destination. New place, new people, new experiences….of course, once I got there and settled in, I would still be faced with the same old me and same old story. Same old unresolved issues.

        Little did I know that real change wasn’t just renting a uhaul and relocating.

        So, yeah, really strange, and now, I don’t have much to throw into the uhaul, even if I knew where I was going, most of it is old stuff that isn’t me anymore.

        I guess that’s good, traveling light. At least we don’t have the old, karmic baggage to weigh us down.

        Love to you my friend. 💜

        • Ha yes! No baggage & travelling light. I don’t even need the uhaul anymore–ive downsized/streamlined so much through this process that everything I own will fit into a normal sized car in one trip. Just waiting to find out the destination!
          It’s also strange that even though I have been here a couple years in this apt that I have instinctively not made it a HOME or acquired stuff to personalize it beyond the furnishings that were already here –because I already know there’s more moving to be done and I don’t want to make it any harder or more complicated, and I don’t want to slow myself down when I finally get my “walking papers” haha–i want to be able to jump at opportunity when it FINALLY presents!

          • PS “coincidentally”(???) there is a moving truck at my front door loading up a neighbor today…….hmmmm

          • Wow, Elila, so weird about the moving truck! Also nice to know others are experiencing the in between feeling, of not wanting to invest our energies in our current domiciles.

      • “A friend and i also have talked this week about how bored we are with listening to other (3D) peoples stories and talking –just not being able to relate at all and people asserting things as “facts” or always regurgitating some self help personality.”

        That’s it exactly, Elila. Methinks it’s a sign we’re about to move on… not so much as in a physical relocation, but in our hearts, and definitely the urge to move is part of that old, as Maria says, thinking that just getting to a new place, meeting new people will be the answer, and for a while that worked. But I know now that it won’t, so am waiting optimistically for what Soul would like to experience. I mean, really Soul must be as bored as we are! Time for a new frequency/dimension where both us and Soul are feeling, Wow! Love, B.

      • Ha!! Me too. It feels like every conversation I hear I have heard before. No-one seems to say anything I’ve not heard before. So tedious!! Longing for a new dimension…gotta be more interesting that THIS. Love you all, Gail xxx

      • So interesting. I keep seeing myself moving into a tiny house but I DON’T KNOW WHY since I am happily married (most of the time anyway hahaha) and we live pretty small already……

        Things feel a bit shifty.

        • That is interesting, siSTAR. I’ll have to watch one of those shows and maybe we can compare notes. I love the recent story about the ‘Flintstone’ style house in California that is being sued. Something about being a public nuisance.

          Man, talk about no imagination and needing everyone to conform. Such a mental, uncreative society we live in. From YABBA DABBA DO TO YABBA DABBA DON’T.

          • ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️☮️🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸

  3. every word is relatable dear Maria.

    “On an inner level, I’ve been slowly dismantling my old story. I’ve been letting go of my old passions. It feels like I am getting ready to move, to relocate, but I have no clue where that would be.” I was talking about this yesterday to my fellow friends online.. I always thought about belonging as it was a physicall destination and not a place where counsciousness would go.. oh and not that cousciousness would leave me either.. damn being human is harshly funny

    • Lol, Tainara! Being human IS harshly funny!

      This whole Waking up thing isn’t what I expected at all! In some ways it’s better than my mind could ever have imagined. And in some ways it’s rediculously harder than I would ever have imagined.

      But then, that’s what we get for signing up as the pioneers. 💜

      • Exactly! the other day I was listenning to myself while I was saying “I thought this would be a simply vacation” how wrong was I… oh my.. been working on this since… I don’t remember… at least.. hmm.. we have.. some.. gratitute… and blessed for have some great companions together on this experience.. worldwide.. ♥

      • Yes. I feel at peace most of the time and then occasionally I think what’s the point of hanging around??!!?? But I do have two amazing grown children and we are very close so that keeps me here for sure.

        It is different from what I expected. I don’t care about things as much as I used to. I am also bored with so many 3D things that people talk about. I am happy to just lie on my couch and watch the wind blow.

  4. I hear ya My Maria! Resonated fully my friend!
    I loved the video/song! (((❤️)))

  5. Just a ditto from me. Drifting uninspired from one meaningless activity to another while I ride the energy shifts. I think the energy waves are enough without adding much more at the moment anyway.
    I couldnt put the word ‘bored’ to it. My emotions are just disconnecting from even boredom. Sometimes I can be joyful watching an animal or watching someone moved openheartedly by something they see in another. However that’s about it. I’m not depressed but rather just disconnecting.
    One thing I am finding harder. Several in my extended family are hitting life challenges. I used to be relied on to give them time and listen. Now I tense inside and really dont want to hear about dramas, challenges etc. I still try to be there in some way but I am over theses issues even if I desire the others happiness.
    Many spiritual writers out there would judge me for not being openhearted in service this way.. or maybe I am just judging myself for not wanting to do this now.
    I retired with burnout as a counsellor of many years about five years ago. Much of this was also ascension symptoms building up. They talk of ‘compassion fatigue’ with burnout – and I think I have a form of that now. I’d rather be at peace than have the anxious vibes and all the ‘stuff’ that comes with these conversations.
    I read a book years ago that said used the analogy of a buffet for Earth life. It said many of us had gone to the buffet many times but were now feeling we had sampled enough and were wanting to leave the buffet. I REALLY related to that analogy all those years ago before ascension began in earnest. Earth has its moments but feel I have taken my plate enough times to be over it.
    I wonder if the shift now is out of the ‘me’ who seeks these experiences, or wants desires met, Instead, moving in the moment as part of a greater whole feeling pulled by whatever is in front of us.

    • Very perfectly articulated Lyn. I also like the buffet analogy. Before we were feeding off the same energies as the masses were. Now we are feeding from our own energies, from spirit itself.

      It’s funny you mention being the caretaker of others, because I was about to write yet ANOTHER post on the tiresome concept that it’s better to give than to receive. It’s NOT. What we are doing here in our awakening is letting ALL of that go. We are not here any more in that capacity,

      But many in the spiritual community, and even in 3D love the idea that people need to be better humans. More compassionate, more giving, not to be so selfish. And, while that is a good thing, most are missing the most important concept. Which is to love self first. Because without that, loving others is just ass-kissing. It’s just trying to be a good Girl Scout or Boy Scout.

      Which most on the planet have not done. Learned to love themselves, that is.

      So what we on the forefront of this transformation are doing here is really RADICAL. We are teaching others to be more self loving, by us being more self loving. We are letting go of the do-gooder, social worker roles. And of holding energies for others.

      So we look selfish to others now. Where did that sweet, tolerate person go,they ask? Who am I supposed to feed of of now, they ask?

      I have had a few others dump their anger and frustrations on me because I let go of that role with them. Oh, well, it comes with the job.

      So if someone isn’t pissed at us, or isn’t calling us selfish, we are not doing it right! 💜

  6. Another thing I’m noticing with some of the “content” I “consume” when bored is that I end up with “media hangovers” (that’s what I call them anyways haha). Like if I’m bored and just randomly clicking through YouTube (instead of sticking to my better-feeling subscribed channels), I end up falling down a bunch of rubbish rabbit holes and then end up feeling like I just binged on cheap fast food and candy bars, and it takes forever to “digest” and I have a hard time sleeping because my brain is trying process all the stupid useless shit I just dumped on it! Last night I even ended up seeing part of that ridiculous r.Kelly interview before I managed to yank myself out of the quicksand! Anyone else noticing they have to be much more careful with what they “consume” on more than just a food level?

    • PS I can also get “hangovers” from being around certain people & their conversations, like we talked about above. It seems to be about anything I “take in”….

      • I hear that, Elila….in fact I also get a drama fix from it, a guilty pleasure. and yep, great analogy to junk food high!

        I enjoy the news the most through the hilarious lens of late light comedy and other satirical commentators.

        And, I know it’s a stretch, but maybe we can enjoy Trump as a parody of himself. As long as we ignore thoughts of a potential universe in which he becomes King.

  7. You mentioned that you enjoy documentaries, and if you haven’t seen this yet, I think it may resonate with you: https://www.netflix.com/title/80209608

    Also, thank you for your blog. I’ve found it to be a regular source of inspiration.

  8. I can relate, Maria. I favor documentaries too, as they feel more “real” to me – I feel like I’m witnessing some level of growth and evolution, rather than watching a fictional account of duality.

    That said, I recently watched “John Mulaney, Kid Gorgeous at Radio City” on Netflix and I thoroughly enjoyed it. John is a comedian. It felt so good to laugh (a nice break from what feels like an uptick in energetic intensity this month). I highly recommend it. One of my fav parts: John does a bit about the process of verifying that you’re a human when transacting online and the absurdity of having to “prove to a robot that you’re not a robot.” He describes the experience to a tee and says “doesn’t THAT make you want to walk into the ocean?” That last line alone cracked me up – mainly because, as an awakened being, WAY more than talking to robots online make me want to “walk into the ocean,” but when you can laugh about the myriad reasons awakening tempts you to exit stage left, it’s a good day!!!
    😁🙃😅😲😰😪😘🤗🙋

    • Thanks, Lisa, I’ll check him out! Yes, that is absurd, I hadn’t thought about that. Prove you’re not a robot. Identify all the crosswalks or all the cars in the above photos. Etc…that’s our mental oriented world for you! Well, humans have proven they can be very human. To the point where they want proof that their soul is real.

  9. Thank you dearest Maria, Sistar Goddess and all! What great words and so comforting to be here with some kindreds.

    Just the title cracks me up. Thanks Maria!

    So much agreement and connection here. Thanks everyone!!!

    Loving ME and loving us all!

    ☺️☺️☺️♥️♥️♥️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸🤸

  10. Your materials are still great. Yeah, I know what you mean… Im 31 years, and I wouldnt mind directing one or 2 feature length films. One would be an village setup, old school kung fu film with an Nubian Egyptian cast, and the last project that needs more prepairing would be about ancient native egyptians (nubians) . It would be A very close to reality-story with no whitewashing or yellow people. It would tell the real story of why Ancient egyptians last Nubian pharaoh wahibre (bibles apries) collapsed, that led to the Hellenic greek-rome bloodline mingling with a carbon dark Kemetian royal bloodline, and we all fell even more.

    Haha, dramatic. But real stuff.

    I would still blog before the actual projects start. Nothing else to do anymore. I have done a lot of blogging lately, and have been censored . Many young guys, are going hard-core because we have discovered the intense deception.. Michael jackson was an hellenic deity, hollywood actors are in fact 95% transenders. Including males. Many alestoy crowley stuff everywhere.

    It is really weird to the system to know this, and exposing this makes you an matrix reject, and tends to lead to being getting trolled in the internet world and outside…

    Anyway, cant wait for the film to happen. The road it self is like a scifi movie now. Yeshua did say once that “Let the dead bury the dead” and it has been my mantra for a very long time. This world is dead.

  11. Cheers for the reflections. Enjoyed your work. Yes, the old dilemma how to be in the world and yet not of it. There’s some pretty enlightening stuff getting around the internet these days, it all part of the bigger picture methinks. Especially as the binary system that made computing tech possible was inspired by the Daoist Yin Yang. So it feeds into our evolution in one way or another. As long as we remember to get off and get out into the real world to enjoy nature and people and things like that were doing alright.

  12. Love this! Going through much the same, as if part of me lives in this other world, filled with beauty, light, and love but having to wade through the mass amount of things that no longer serve me in this world. Your words brought a smile and a feeling of resonance, thank you.

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