Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Uncomfortable

18 Comments

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Art by Maria Chambers

People will do almost anything to avoid feeling uncomfortable.  But we are in a time of discomfort.  Not just as ascension pioneers, but the world at large.  The old rules don’t seem to be working anymore in anyone’s world.  Nations are uncomfortable with change.  With diversity.  With more women in power.  

Conversations are being avoided around sexual conduct, as many men and even women grapple with long-standing attitudes and behaviors toward the female gender.  One company fired a transgender woman for wanting to begin wearing a dress to work.  She wore men’s suits as a man.

The employer said they were not comfortable with a man wearing a dress, even though the employee now identifies as a woman.

It’s  interesting that women wear men’s clothing all the time and it’s not judged or scrutinized.  We ladies can wear men’s trousers, shirts, hats, shoes……and, no one blinks an eye.  Why is that?  Is it because being more male is seen as a step up in life?

But to be seen as a woman, well, unless you already are female from birth, according to many people, you have what’s coming to you if you become feminine.

To some people seeing two women kiss, well, they want in, but seeing two men kiss is so uncomfortable that they need a safe space.

I will admit, some things make me feel really uncomfortable.  And I really do try to run the other way when I see them, to spare myself any discomfort.  But I also recognize that the discomfort is MY problem, not the people I happen to be looking at.

But that’s thanks to more awareness.  You see, awareness isn’t about being some kind of perfect being who always is kind, understanding and compassionate.  Being aware and conscious is about recognizing that we are responsible for how we feel, and no one else.

Being aware and conscious isn’t about rescuing anyone, trying to change anyone, or allowing others to trample our boundaries.    When we awaken, we become very discerning.

But, as far as discomfort, well, we know intimately about that, as we feel the discomfort of this transformation in our mind, and our body.

All these weird changes in our body, all the feelings of disconnection with the 3D world, are perfectly natural.  Others may begin to feel uncomfortable with where we are in our life.  Again, not our problem.  They will have to find a way to deal with their own discomfort.

MAKING OTHERS UNCOMFORTABLE

A couple of people in my life that I released keep trying to reassert themselves, hoping that we can resume our relationship.  They keep hoping the old Maria will resurface, but that’s not going to happen.

I am no longer that person.  And that makes some people very uncomfortable.  And angry.  And that’s my next point.  When the discomfort leads to anger, and worse, violence, it is problematic.

We see that in the world at large, where people’s discomfort is so acute that they need to lash out at those who are perceived as making them uncomfortable.

We see it as the war on women’s rights heats up across the globe.  And the discomfort is really about the unwillingness to look within at their own emotions and their own fears.

Anti-abortion groups, which I consider hate groups, are on a crusade to annihilate the  feminine.  The radical religious right is super uncomfortable with women gaining ground in the world.

Predation is being exposed at every level.  The Churches are not able to keep protecting their own, and many people are now feeling uncomfortable as the truth comes out.

The Patriarchy is being exposed for what it is and has always been, and those who believe they have the most to lose are very uncomfortable.  But rather than face their own discomfort and see it as an opportunity to go within, to face their fears, they are doubling down on their attempts to silence the feminine.

INITIALLY FREEDOM IS UNCOMFORTABLE 

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Art by Maria Chambers

And the female gender has to face a new type of discomfort,  as she is being given the opportunity to free herself from the shame and guilt she has been carrying on behalf of humanity.  But it requires her to be radical.

She has to set herself free and that means no longer hiding behind her pain and suffering.

It means she will have to deal with many people in her life calling her selfish, or worse.  And with more people dropping out of her life, or her leaving behind relationships that no longer bring her joy.

She will have to reclaim her sensuality and her joy.  And that may mean making others resentful of her.  Because she no longer is interested in playing in drama or suffering with others.

As she lets go of her role as touchstone for others, she will see some people in her life floundering around, some attempting to continue to pull on her energies, and that will make her very uncomfortable.

Letting go of guilt is a process, and initially the mind will try to make her feel even more guilty.  But it’s a game that is coming to an end for her.

So, yes, we are living in a time of being uncomfortable.  But real change is always uncomfortable initially.   And denial and cognitive dissonance can go only so far.  Trying to run from the discomfort stops working after awhile.  Because there is no where left to hide.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

Enjoy Here’s To Love from Simply Divine

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Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Almost a decade later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

18 thoughts on “Uncomfortable

  1. It REALLY is a time of being uncomfortable. I have become immersed in doing anti-racism work and peeling the layers of my white supremacy and racism….AND I have been a liberal all my life. Being a nice white lady who is trying to be less racist!!!
    It is intense and fabulous work. So many layers…..oh my! But so needed. I have moments of great peace. AND so much learning. I keep joking that I am a big old (white) onion that is peeling the layers.

    Thanks and much love to you dear sistar!! I have missed reading your posts……trying to catch up a bit. I always love your blog.

    big virtual hug….

    Elizabeth

  2. Great description, siSTAR Eliza….of peeling an onion….so many layers, indeed! You make a good point.

    And, as a female, I have internalized some of the sexism and misogyny of our culture. I sometimes catch myself thinking or saying something rather sexist.

    But the difference is, rather than deny it and project it onto others, we are aware, and have the courage to acknowledge it. Ideally without self-judgement. It’s what this whole enlightenment thing is about. It really has involved a lot of inner work, but doing it with compassion for ourself.

    As races and genders we all have internalized the prejudices of the culture to some degree.

    And it’s so interesting because those are all coming to the surface now on personal, and universal levels. All the multitude of aspects of ourself, including the shadow, all coming home.

    It’s a great, big homecoming! 💜

    • “I sometimes catch myself thinking or saying something rather sexist.
      But the difference is, rather than deny it and project it onto others, we are aware, and have the courage to acknowledge it.”

      Courage is one of my favorite human virtues. Every difficult human conflict that will cause opposition within or between clans will require courage…and consequence (enter, again…the purpose of courage by which we act through and endure any consequence).

      You brought up transgender peoples. Yep, that takes courage to leave one’s natural born and conditioned gender identity for the opposing gender identity BECAUSE the consequences are many: One must feel Discomfort of others in addition to the discomfort it naturally sets up in the transgender person (double discomfort), humiliation to those transgenders by those that use hate to shield themselves from their own discomfort. a real potential for physical pain and suffering caused by side effects of synthetic medications that oppose natural in-born hormones, and then real potential for life long irreversible pain and suffering post surgery which will never yield actual and real change beyond the cosmetic appearance because of the fact that a knife was chosen to cut (Maim) the natural body one was born to so that an “Identity” could be maintained. Many accept these risks with great great courage; despite best or worst outcome, for both are possible. It’s a gamble. That’s life.

      Every race, each gender and every degree, level and station of these must have courage to get done what each came here to get done by and through choices. Courage then…can be celebrated…and deeply valued by all.

      I truly value and admire any who would engage courage. And these are times when wel all really need to have it; rather courage than hate, judgment (censure) and fear. Note: Ironically courage doesn’t exist without fear…as compassion does not exist without suffering.

      We gonna need a lot of courage and compassion!

      And love…despite fear and what fear brings with it.

      Thanks Maria. I want to think more about this article. I can not address the specifics of what is involved for women because I am male. But I do honor and want to celebrate your courage and wisdom won through your embodiment of the Sacred Feminine which we must all struggle to embody, for it is a universal life principle of creative force we all yield…weather conscious or not….it is there.

      You bring that to light when you talk about it. It’s really important work!

      Love in spirit.

      • You bring up some great points, t.k. I can’t even imagine what a transgender person has to deal with, on a physical, psychological and social level. What courage indeed!

        I wonder, does a trans person who identifies as male have less stigma than someone who trans into a female identity from a male? And, I wonder what their experiences and perspectives are from both sides. In other words, how they experience life as both a male and female.

        And I find myself comparing our spiritual, ascension journey quite often to the gay and transgender experience since both require living as someone that society hasn’t fully accepted or demonizes.

        And, as pioneers of consciousness, we too can no longer hide in the spiritual closet.

        And, on the up side, we can compare our experiences of life before and after awakening.

        Coming out has its consequences, indeed. But living as a shadow of who we are is becoming too painful.

        • You, ALSO bring up some powerful points!

          I remember seeing a trans female to Male guy in my youth and fallling head over heels in Lust (I’m a gay man….FYI)! He was HOT!

          EQUALLY in my youth, I was once repulsed by a trans. Male to Female GORGEOUS woman by whom I was terribly confused (I was 18) because I thought “She” was a woman coming on to me in a gay and lesbian community center (a haven for LGBTs back in the day). I thought…”Why is this lesbian coming on to me??!!” that was my intro. to Transgender. She liked me (in that way women like men)…but I was “Gay!” LOL…ROFL. I let her down easy…”I like Men…sorry, but you are gorgeous”…and she was.

          I’m only human. “Human” shouldn’t be an ineffable concept to ourselves, yet…when it comes to these questions you and I propose…in the midst of every other human being faced with the same questions I am truly confounded.

          I am human. I don’t know THE answers…not exactly. I know MY answers based on…I’m male, gay, a nurse…a son…an uncle…step father, husband…etc etc…etc. I’m a single entity with only an accumulative knowledge base of 53 years (54 in July). That’s it! Only that.

          Yet…my personal Truth is powerful to me. Wheather my personal Truth is in transition between stasis and synthesis within its own evolution, it drives me. I live by it.

          I always get fouled up when I try to take on another’s truth as my own (and so Religion trouble me), yet…the ability to “Share” truth between us all is what helps my personal truth evolve and shift (one way or another).

          I’m really glad for this opportunity even though it hurts sometimes…makes me angry (I loved your last posting by the way).

          You have often called us into “Self Love.” I think…this is our best hope (“OUR meaning humanity’s…all genders, all races…any discriminating differential between all peoples) because we will never get to self love until we see we really are all the same…and SELF LOVE actually forces that realization…empowers unity.

          So…again, to you…I really value your embodied wisdom which you share so freely, Maria…

          …it personally helps me…think about things and empowers a very specific pathway of thought that, if willing brings one to an exalted conclusion.

          Love in Spirit.

    • Oh my gosh dear Sistar! So much coming out to the light to be healed. So needed. So hard at times. Painful. Perfect.

      And yes, “As races and genders we all have internalized the prejudices of the culture to some degree.”

      I am becoming more aware of my white privilege and white supremacy all the time. So so many layers. I just keep walking.

      Love you tons!

  3. ‘It really has involved a lot of inner work, but doing it with compassion for ourself.’

    Seems that once we press the ‘Go’ button it is continual inner work. The relentless nature of it demands that it HAS to become compassionate (even if it isn’t at the beginning)….perhaps it is the ‘uncompassion’ that is one of the first things we do the inner work on. I was so relieved when I discovered that UNCOMFORTABLE does not have to mean UNHAPPY. The further I go inwards, the more I actually welcome the discomfort (in a kind of, ‘Oh God….gulp….here we go..’ way.)

    Thanks Maria, once again xx

  4. Gail…Maria…Anyone else observing and open (or closed). (sigh)

    I have both loved and HATED my journey “About” compassion. It started in my adult youth; in an AIDS hospice where I worked.

    I was a deeply troubled young man, and for this I prayed deeply one night at work when I was angry, frustrated and hating myself for being in that place that was so full of suffering…so much need that conflicted with my own needs.

    I remember being in the nursing office; looking up at all these boxes of medications our patients were taking that were both managing symptoms and destroying their bodies…all the sickness we were managing which left little room for taking care of how that impacted us…which it did deeply particularly me as a young gay man in SF in observation of what sex could do…TERRIFYING!

    I PRAYED one night…”God, all I want to be is a good person. I want to be compassionate because right now I HATE life…I hate this job, I hate (hate hate hate hate so many things about myself…how I feel, how terrified I am…how much need there is…how much need that suffering produces…I HATE IT ALL. I hate my life…I HATE IT. I HATE MYSELF FOR HATING WHAT IT IS TO BE HUMAN).

    SHAZAM!!!

    In that AIDS hospice, we had a mission statement. One of the first principles was “Compassionate Care for people “Living” with AIDS,” and compassion was simply defined: TO SIT WITH AND BEAR SUFFERING (Period).

    That definition has never left me. That definition has evolved within me (as in…a key to my own personal life….for it is a personal definition as evolved in me and for me). I don’t know if it will work for you, but I will share it…see what you think and feel for yourself.

    COMPASSION (to me) is a very complicated dynamic…like LOVE is a complicated dynamic…as it HATE…and FEAR….

    The meanest part of compassion is kindness. I say it is the “Meanest” because compassion doesn’t require kindness. As I know it, it only addresses “Sitting with Suffering and bearing that.”

    So I would ask…”How do you bear suffering?” If it is kindness that you need in the moment of your suffering then engage kindness…seek it out.

    Is it “Courage?” If it is courage that you need to bear suffering then find courage and make your way to doing what you fear. Compassion will tag along if your are suffering and bearing it.

    Is it “Empathy” that you need to bear the suffering you see in your self and/or others…or as is caused by others…or that you are in observation of suffering of others that YOU are causing? If so…open your heart and feel yours/their pain as your own because you know that pain…and it inspires words to speak that comforts another (or let someone speak to you of their knowing of YOUR pain…and believe it…and take comfort).

    Is it “Anger” that you need…to bear suffering, and it fuels your blasting through or away from it in order to tolerate it?

    Is it objectivity…is it a boundary (personal or professional)…is it a policy and procedure, is it a rule, a law…an edict…personal philosophy that raises you higher than your conditioning (DING DING DING FOR ME)…Is it your your lessons learned that steers you clear of or towards what is painful (and “UNCOMFORTABLE “AS A SUFFERING)…?

    Compassion…

    Is it going within after long engaging battles from without that have maimed you, torn you and bruised you, and ther- in…you finally recognize the Temple of “God” within…and there is peace even as you still live within the World that is so hyped up…and spiraling out of control?

    Is there suffering and still alive and in the presence of suffering? Yes! (compassion now exists by default).

    How then…are you bearing it (SHAZAM! COMPASSION).

    Discernment…might be equally important…choosing best for yourself how you will bear suffering.

    Self love…is very compassionate. How do you love yourself in the presence of suffering (SHAZAM! ANOTHER VENUE FOR COMPASSION)…ANOTHER ONE OF MANY MANY WAYS to be compassionate).

    Peace…and love in spirit.

  5. TK!! I know this….done it many times….I PRAYED one night…”God, all I want to be is a good person. I want to be compassionate ……”

    THIS is the point when it starts……that deeper than deep need (it seems much bigger than a want, a wish or a desire to me) That’s when we/Soul press that GO button, but we get no hint to hold on to our hats and fasten the seatbelt!!!

    ‘compassion was simply defined: TO SIT WITH AND BEAR SUFFERING (Period).’ I think this is the Buddhist definition.

    But I’m not sure if we actually DO compassion? It feels more like an attribute/skill(?) we HAVE. Maybe something to do with reacting to others’ pain (or often not) with awareness of our own triggers. I have observed in myself that there has been a huge shift over the years from Exposure-Pain-Escape to Exposure-Response (and often the response is to DO nothing!!)

    Because there is a cultural brainwash that we have to FEEL other peoples’ pain in order to be supportive, people tend to either over-feel or run away! But I’ve found that entering into feeling (different to empathy) is only us feeling our own old pain anyway.

    TK, I have literally JUST posted about this….we are Soooooooooo very connected, the forerunners.

    Big Love All, Gail

    • OMG, GAIL! Exactly!!!!

      You are right! That hospice I was in WAS A BUDDHIST hospice. I am NOT Buddhist…not at all, but that one mission statement was really important to me. And it did evolve in me. I made it work for me.

      And you are right…it is everything you say, and so that’s why I said compassion was a “Dynamic.” It’s not…one thing. It’s a principle connected and working through, within…outside of other principles we live and die by here on Earth.

      I can BELIEVE it, Gail…we ARE connected. I’m going to check out your posting, and I can’t wait.

      And Your right, too…feeling others’ pain IS feeling our own old pain…and this is empathy…like…Earthly empathy…animal empathy…primary empathy, which is important so long as we have our physical bodies and before we gain greater.

      I loved what you said…I LOVE IT!

  6. An hour ago I decided to pluck facial hairs. That happens as we brunettes get older and suddenly I was more intrigued with my wrinkles, and the little bits and pieces that have been added to my face in the last few years, than I was with those pesky hairs. I’ll be honest, I’ve been resenting aging. Anyway, this may sound weird, but I was kind of overcome with the actual beauty of my aged face. I gazed into the mirror. The Sun was shining and that helped with the reflection and I went down memory lane with respect to my face and realized… this is not ego talking… how much more beautiful and comfortable I am now in my body than I ever have been. Every wrinkle, every sag, every added bit and piece to my face are from my life on this planet and I am proud of my choice to experience it. I don’t feel I need to defend the feminine or the masculine, though I’m very aware of the challenges faced by the feminine. Perhaps it means that I have extended empathy to myself and by doing so I extend empathy to others…. and all that from having to pluck some facial hair. Each discovery to their own! Love, B.

    • Barbara!!!!! I adore this. Thanks for sharing. Even though a part of me wants to be 30 or so pounds lighter, I have had some amazing life moments seeing myself naked in the mirror in the morning. Having a kind of “goddess” moment. Pretty fucking miraculous.

      There are tons of benefits to this youthing process.

      Much love to all of us!

    • Lovely comment Barbara. I too have the plucking thing (chin-beard and eyebrows which genuinely look like a mad professor’s if I don’t pluck them!!) I have a major duality moment every time I see Me in a mirror. Gorgeous/hideous…….delight/resignation….joy/sadness….ending in balance and self-love, once those automatic emotional responses diminish. My step-grandson LOVES my prickly beard and likes to stroke the stubble!! Who would have guessed!!!!!

      I’ll share that I’ve caught myself seeing Me in a mirror and not realising it was a mirror, nor realising it was me…….the difference in how I see my physical self when I know it is me and when I don’t is AMAZING.

      I think you are spot on with the empathy-to-ourselves thing……:) 🙂 🙂

  7. Within the vein of “Uncomfortable” and the turn of topic to lady chins (ROFL), I remember this very old woman I took care of on hospice. The daughter of this woman was very clear about my goal for that day…”Please shave my mother’s chin. She always took beautiful care of her appearance, but now she has a beard…and It’s important to her to have a ‘Proper’ appearance.”

    So I entered the room escorted by this very loving daughter. I assessed my Patient…this lil’ ol’ lady who was so fragile.

    As a nurse, human dignity is a very high priority. On one hand, I can grow a beard in a week. Whiskers are a part of my life and body, but on the other hand…it was very odd to see thick whiskers on a woman, and the thought of shaving her was really strange and fairly UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT…they covered shaving in nursing school (they did), and…well…I had the skill, training and experience.

    Got my shaving cream out…razor and lathered her up. I made sure to go over several times to make it smooth. There was nothing but gratitude when I was done…no shame…
    Only dignity for her last days.

    THIS IS STILL ONLY AND OUTSIDE EXPERIENCE! But…it might contribute to an overall empathy for any man that might read it…maybe furtive acknowledgement by any woman who would look beyond audacity and see we face changes as we age…and there is no shame…only dignity with the right intention.

  8. Elizabeth, Gail and TK. Many thanks for your great comments. Elizabeth, I don’t have a full-length mirror, but it’s time I got one for the naked goddess dance! Gail, now whenever I pluck I will send love to your step-grandson and smile, and TK, I sure hope I get someone as dignified and competent as you who will tell me when I need a shave and then to do same with humor and compassion. Much love, B.

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