Women and Freedom

Image Credit Maria Chambers

For the female gender, sexuality, including sensuality has been seen as dangerous, as something she was not allowed to enjoy. The shame and stigma directed toward her and her sexuality was normalized. It was used against her, and she also used it as a weapon in order to protect herself and garner a modicum of respect and value.

I remember the fear and guilt I felt around my sexuality as a young woman.  When I did want to express it, there was the added fear of pregnancy.

I used protection, but I would often give into the male’s needs and abandon the sheath. Until I learned I could use an undetected form, the diaphragm. Which was not terribly romantic, and not always comfortable, but I knew it was better than getting pregnant.

I was told that I was a whore because I wanted to date someone my father disproved of.

I was told that I was putting my father in a grave because I was living with a man I was not married to.

So, sex for me during those years was fraught with guilt and fear. It was no wonder it was not easy to enjoy it. But in spite of it all, I did enjoy it. But I also feared the consequences. And I internalized the stigma, the guilt and the shame.

And in retrospect I know that I was not alone in that type of experience.

For many women sex is associated with pain, both emotional and physical, and after awhile, the body itself rejects it because of the process of aging and the symptoms that come with menopause.

I am not speaking for all women, of course. But for many women the female menstral cycle itself is associated with discomfort and shame.

In some cultures women and girls must stay in small huts during their cycles so they do not ‘contaminate’ the others in their family. Many women have died of hypothermia in those huts during the winter months.

Women are shamed for wearing clothing that is form fitting, and at the same time encouraged to look like models.

They have been given the clear message that their bodies are what gives them value, and are for the male gaze, and male pleasure and at the same time punished for displaying those bodies. And by displaying I mean simply existing.  Their sensuality is misinterpreted as sexuality by those who don’t have a clue what sensuality really is.

It’s no secret that women are hyper-sexualized in the media and film, and women in positions of political power are scrutinized for how they are dressed, not for their policies.

Girls and women are accused of being a distraction to men in school and college if they are not dressed ‘appropriately.’  They are accused of seducing men when they are just enjoying their own sensuality. Rape culture is still alive and well in colleges and universities.


Image Credit Maria Chambers

I bring this all up because the thing that stops women from their own freedom, and their own embodied enlightenment is closing down their own sensuality.

In past lives many women tried to attain their enlightenment by cloistering themselves in convents. There they felt safe from sexual intimacy and the pain and shame associated with sex.

But they discovered that the could not really embody their own Christ consciousness by closing down their sensuality.

It is possible to be extremely sensual without ever having sex. Sensuality can include sex, but it really doesn’t have anything to do with it.  But our chauvinist culture associates sensuality with sexuality all of the time,

In fact, our soul is all about sensuality. The main reason our soul enjoys this physical experience is because it is such a sensual experience. And yet It is totally understandable that a woman who has had a history of sexual abuse or harassment, or just every day sexism and misogyny, would want to shut down her sensuality.

Or women who are older. We are taught that we are not supposed to be sexual or sensual past a certain age. So older women as well try to stay in the mind, and try to ignore their body, and shut down their own sensuality.

But if we are to allow this embodied enlightenment it will require a full-bodied experience. That makes many people uncomfortable. Many women especially want nothing to do with their own sensual nature.

Especially given their history of being disrespected and worse for being sensual beings.


And now we see across the globe the crusade against women’s human rights is heating up with these punitive abortion bans. Women are being told once again that their sexual pleasure is wrong, and must be shut down, and criminalized.

The anti-women agenda can no longer hide behind the sanctity of life, or protecting a clump of cells called a fetus. It has nothing to do with god. It is about trying to make women feel less than human and shamed because she desires sexual pleasure if it has nothing to do with reproducing.

If that were not so, then men who are the other half of the equation would also be held accountable. Has anyone heard that the men who impregnated the women are being held responsible legally or criminally? Or even peripherally?

Of course not. The burden invariably falls upon the woman.  The eroding of her personal freedom is insidious, and it has been progressing over time.


Image Credit Maria Chambers

But as bad as it all sounds, this is the best of times for women who are awakening. The Divine Feminine is here, and she is beginning to disrupt old, stagnant systems like never before.  And those of us on the forefront of enlightenment are ushering in that Divine Feminine.

Women on this planet need NEW role models. They need to see women who embody their Christ consciousness and the sensuality that goes with it.

Women are stuck and at a loss as to how to get unstuck. They are understandably angry. Yet they can’t really enforce or demand equality in terms of how they feel about themselves.

Yes, it’s time to hold those abusing their power accountable. Absolutely. And women are rising and making themselves heard, and have solidarity with their sisters across the globe like never before.

And, of course in response, the patriarchy and its status quo are nervous.

But women are still not going to be truly free until they embrace their own divinity. And that’s where we come in. It’s what we are doing as we allow spirit into our bodies and our lives.

We are paving the way so that the women who come after us, even those who are not born yet, can have an easier pathway to their own freedom.

So the pain stops here with us.

We are the new leaders. Women have traditionally been the bringers of social change. Now it is time for a change of consciousness never before experienced.

And it’s no surprise that Women are in the forefront of that change.

But we won’t be able to be the examples if we are still in suffering and pain ourselves. We are required in this new dispensation to release the pain, the shame, and the guilt. We are required to UNBURDEN ourselves. To finally allow others to hold their own energies.

Women’s freedom requires them to sever their old ties with humanity.

We can’t step into our freedom if we are still holding energies for humanity. We need to free up our hearts, and our bodies, for only spirit to dwell in.

To feel the essence of that spirit that goes beyond our mind and our heart is the challenge. The spirit that wants to be with us comes to us through our body, and we experience it as a sensuality that often comes in from the earth up through our sexual organs themselves.

It’s different for everyone, but it does require us to be receptive as we would to a lover.  But this lover is one that can be trusted with our heart, our mind and our body.

That is going to sound uncomfortable for some. That’s ok. Give it time. If you haven’t already, there will come a day when you will feel spirit in that way and it will knock your socks off.

So, it’s no coincidence that abortion rights are front and center now in the headlines. Abortion is not a complex issue, it’s not nuanced, it’s not the most difficult decision a woman has to make, and it’s not heartbreaking for most women. That is all just hyperbole peddled by the anti-abortion agenda.

In fact it appears that the agenda of those who wish to control women’s body and her own autonomy is quite simple. It’s making sure women are not allowed to have pleasure.

But women are not victims. And we on the forefront of this transformation are courageous. We play victim to NO ONE.  Not to any god, or any government. not even to our own mind.  In fact we are not even operating from that reality anymore, unless we choose to.

We are creating along with other adept souls, our own safe, sovereign domain. One in which we can be fully ourselves, without sacrifice or compromise. And without fear.

I like to call it true women’s liberation.

© Copyright 2018 Maria Chambers, all rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others but maintain the article’s integrity by copying it unaltered and by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

67 thoughts on “Women and Freedom

  1. Elizabeth Sadhu

    Woooohoooo! Brilliant.

    Thanks! AND so, right after my nap, I will embrace my power and divinity. ha!
    Although I am getting that the more napping the better. The more relaxing the better…..I am taking care of me me me…….

    So crazy tired. Reminding me to let go of taking care of anything…..but me and my shadow.

    Thank you dear SiSTAR!

    Great reminder and post. Embracing my WHOLE BEING!
    This reminds me that about 25 years ago, I decided to come out as a Sexy Goddess….I even put SG on my checks after my name. And then I had to tell people when they asked me. HA! I am getting the idea that I need to get back in touch with that SG of me.

    Well, tonight is dancing and that is fun and joyful. It may even include a little dolphin dancing. 🙂

    loving us all

  2. sweet pea

    aaaamen Maria ❤️

    “The anti-women agenda can no longer hide behind the sanctity of life, or protecting a clump of cells called a fetus. It has nothing to do with god. It is about trying to make women feel less than human and shamed because she desires sexual pleasure if it has nothing to do with reproducing.”

    to me this is 1000 % what anti-abortion is about and that’s why i refuse to discuss it ever again with them. until you can admit this, the conversation is bull poo and i refuse the have it.

    further proof of your point is that when the clump of cells at the exact same stage of development is outside the woman’s body in a fertility clinic, it’s suddenly not a crime or “murder” to these very same people to destroy the exact same cells?? so it’s only when it’s in the woman’s body and about her making a choice about it that it suddenly “becomes a life”. that right there is y’alls proof that they’re completely full of it 🙄

    ug Maria i have always struggled with expressing anger… i really just don’t go to “angry” very often, but 3 things have really set me off the past couple years… women’s rights, civil rights – the racism and bigotry, and then all of the religious force… all of this stuff has just had me so infuriated 😥 i’m to the point where when anyone pushes their religion on me in the slightest way i feel actual hatred in me 😞 i hate that it does that to me but i really just don’t want to hear one more person “scold” me about what i’m “supposed” to believe ever. again. no one else gets to tell me what to believe. and the people that keep trying to force their beliefs on the rest of us are the ones whining like babies how they are “oppressed” 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 ug please. you not getting to oppress others is not “oppression” you jerks. these people have become so excruciating to me… and it’s the world i grew up in so i should be used to it, but i seriously can barely deal with it these days 😩

    i say this all the time, but your blogs really do help articulate things for me and remind me of the higher perspective ❤️ it helps me take a breath and step out of that energy they put me in. so so needed when i get overwhelmed by it all, thank u 💕❤️💕

    1. Sweet pea,
      I hadn’t thought about the fertility clinic perspective. Yeah, the sanctity of all life is such horse manure, and those words ring hollow even more now with these extreme abortion ban legislations. When an eleven year old girl would be forced to carry to term a fetus that is developing because of rape and incest, there is nothing sacred about any of that.

      I can imagine the anger considering you grew up with all that oppression, and being so aware and conscious now. You realize how insidious it was. How it has impacted your life and your body, especially as a woman.

      I think the anger is appropriate at a certain stage of this process. For women especially it hasn’t been allowed. generally speaking men were allowed to be angry, so now it’s women’s turn. The anger will shift and be transmuted as we allow it to flow.

      And, yeah, it seems those who hold the most power are the ones who play victim the best. Look at Trump. Have you ever heard anyone complain more than him about how unfairly he is being treated? He’s white, privileged, entitled, wealthy, and holds the most powerful position on the planet. Poor guy can’t catch a break.😞😞

      1. sweet pea

        yes i think it’s exactly why it infuriates me so much… i’ve been so deep on the inside of religion so i know not only are they unbelievable hypocrites… they judge everyone else for not following their “rules” that they break all day long 🙄but also that they are miserable because of their chosen ways of being, and it’s infuriating that they are obsessed with forcing that misery on the rest of us who want no part of it 🙅‍♀️

        and yeah as uncomfortable as i am with anger i try to give myself the space to let it come up, because honestly it’s almost impossible not to be angry about it all at this point 😞

        1. Cathy Morales

          I totally agree with you regarding religion and hypocrites. But I have also learned today that they know that they are hypocrites. They love to preach but not practice what they preach and the men are the worst. I believe like you do that they are full of hate and obsessed with forcing misery on the rest of us. I was involved in a twitter argument because I asked why it was immoral to have an abortion. It was all men and 2 women who called me names and wanted to argue every little point. It’s sad that they can’t see pro life beyond the womb.

          I love this article Maria. Every time I feel discouraged I come here to feel better.

          1. sweet pea

            lol Cathy…

            “hey know that they are hypocrites. They love to preach but not practice what they preach and the men are the worst. ”

            the infuriating story of my life. i left the church at 17, and to be honest i’ve sort of been “in recovery” since. 😞

            and yup, really for me, this is was most of christianity basically is to me…

            “full of hate and obsessed with forcing misery on the rest of us.”

            and people will say it’s just modern day christianity that’s gone wrong, but i think back to when i used to read the bible as a kid, and i personally feel like it has always been this way 🤷. as i’ve distanced myself form the church, more and more i’ve come to feel like organized religion has really always been about humans and ego and control, and not really about god or spirit or even goodness. i feel like it uses those things as a cover, but the bible is full of patriarchy and hate and hypocrisy and just a ton of fear and manipulation. i say all the time that the bible reads no different than modern day political propaganda to me now. i feel like the people who wrote it were writing things to server themselves and their agenda. and honestly even as a kid i remember feeling that deep inside of myself. i knew that when i read the bible, i didn’t feel peace or guidance or love. i knew that the version of god i was being shown felt awful to me. i knew i had to twist my brain in a million knots to try to get all of the contradictions in the bible and in the church.

            i get that those are some pretty strong feelings i have, but it’s just what i honestly feel. and i get that maybe some people find peace in religion, but i truly never did. and i know there are genuinely good people who are part of organized religion, but i feel like it’s almost in spite of the church that they are? like they have to work around and rise above the church to be or stay good 🤷

            my spiritual journey is everything to me, but organized religion is just a big nooooo ma’am for me with a fierceness. 🙅‍♀️ i really have no tolerance for it being pushed on me ever again, and it’s a soul level protection that makes me feel that way.

          2. Don’t worry about the typos, sweet pea, you came through perfectly. And as far as I’m concerned, auto correct can go straight to he’ll. And spell check has become my enema.

          3. Cathy Morales

            You hit it on the head sweet pea. I remember look at the stained glass windows in church and feeling so uncomfortable with the whole thing. I find peace in nature and painting or cooking. I’ve deleted my twitter account because of the hate and some strange man kept sending me kissing emoji’s. It’s too bad that pro life doesn’t include what’s in front of them with the homeless, kids abused and killed etc… I glad I found all of you. I don’t talk too much about my awakening. Only my family really know but, it’s nice to talk to people who understand.

          4. sweet pea

            yeah Cathy i feel the same about nature or doing things i love or being places i love or being in creative energy as where i find my spirituality too. like that John Muir quote…

            “I’d rather be in the mountains thinking of God, than in church thinking about the mountains.” 💜💜💜

            and yeah i refuse to even use the term “pro-life”, i say “forced birth”, because “pro-life” it isn’t remotely true. 😞

      2. sweet pea

        hey Maria,

        here is a really great article from a woman who had IVF and she so perfectly uses it to call out the abortion laws 🙌 she speaks about it perfectly in line with what you describe too about abortion laws really just being about control and shaming women for wanting to be sexual beings, and god forbid not wanting to just sit around and have babies 🙄


        1. Super article, sweet pea. I never considered fertility clinics. Such blatant hypocrisy. But they don’t seem to care. The anti women agenda wants what it wants, it’s male entitlement run amok.

          It seems that things are coming out, being exposed for what they really are, no more hiding behind god, or morality. They are becoming more transparent, and motives are being revealed, which is a good thing.

          And in his way, Trump has assisted with it. He hasn’t attempted to hide any of his misogyny, homophobia, racism, xenophobia, anti-semitism, transphobia, etc.

          He is such a great manifestation of how low the bar has been set for men, and for a President.

    2. kat

      ” so it’s only when it’s in the woman’s body and about her making a choice about it that it suddenly “becomes a life”. that right there is y’alls proof that they’re completely full of it 🙄”

      That’s it. it’s about control of the woman’s body but you know what. A part of me doesn’t want to believe it (even though it’s blatantly obvious) because – why would you want to control what another does with their own body? Like, why the f*** do you care? The disbelief is there I think because it’s so impossible for me to grasp why someone would want to do that as it is sooo far removed from my own nature. Can anyone else relate?
      It’s just so beyond invasive!

      1. I agree Kat, it seems incomprehensible doesn’t it? I believe it boils down to the resentment of the feminine. These vigilantes are In deep denial of their own feminine. They resent the feminine, and want her to suffer.

        It’s the old galactic story of the masculine feeling abandoned by the feminine, taking it out on her, (the wound of Adam) and then she became the caretaker, took on the guilt and shame, and has been carrying around that for a very long time. (The wound of Isis).

        Even in 2019, when a woman is violated, there is a part of her that wonders what she did to deserve it. It’s why so many women don’t come forward. They feel a sense of shame.

        Recently a priest asked a female paritioner during the service to cover her shoulders because he wanted to protect the men paritioners,

        The story goes…..
        “Ladies, a priest I know was forced on Sunday to ask a woman at Mass to cover her shoulders. Please help the priest to protect the purity of the men at holy Mass by choosing to dress modestly. The alternative is awkward for all involved. Thank you.”

        In other words, once again, men’s behavior is not their own responsibility. Women must behave and dress in a way that keeps men from losing control. This is what perpetuates rape culture.

        I’m sure most women have felt so many times in their life that they need to control their own movements and how they dress so as not to get unwanted attention. I certainly have.

        And these draconian abortion bans are all about denying women their own autonomy and their own sensual pleasure.

        It’s time for women to wake up. This is why I am so passionate about the importance of women letting go of the caretaking role. Of letting go of being the mother of humanity.

        It’s a radical shift, and even in my own life as I have let go of that role, I have had people angry at me, and tried to make me feel so much guilt. And, I noticed as I released the guilt, they no longer tried to use it on me. Interesting how that works.

        1. Elizabeth Sadhu

          Thanks for all of this!


          WE are all fucking awesome and it is time for the DIVINE FEMININE to rock it.

          Brilliant conversations.

          loving us all!

        2. kat

          Amen to everything you said Maria. There is no denying.
          And women being pushed into the caretalking role is still soo prevalent! I hate when that happens. It’s something different when the women is naturally caring. I can be caring as well, especially to people I love, but it has to be on my own terms. If someone wants to force me into that role I refuse. That is why feminism is stil so important: because it deconstructs gender roles and allows people to become their own selves independent of what society might deem appropriate for them based on their gender.

          1. Yes, well-stated, Kat.

            Archangel Michael talked about the sovereign heart, which is the new heart developing in the female. That new heart is not wounded. It doesn’t carry the burdens of humanity within it. So the new enlightened woman shares her love from a place of already being whole, and self-loving and self-fulfilled. 💜

          2. Elizabeth Sadhu

            “Archangel Michael talked about the sovereign heart, which is the new heart developing in the female. That new heart is not wounded. It doesn’t carry the burdens of humanity within it. So the new enlightened woman shares her love from a place of already being whole, and self-loving and self-fulfilled.”

            That makes complete sense. My longtime mentor who is now with AA Michael said that men’s DNA is changing. AS it must. And I sure have seen shifts……..And not to sound completely prejudiced but my son has always been super aware and sensitive. 🙂

            Loving us all………

      2. sweet pea

        awww hi Kat 🥰🥰🥰

        and yes yes yes…

        “It’s just so beyond invasive!”

        that word captures why i’m so enraged about it. i’ve never actually been pregnant or even had a scare, and i’ve been pretty much celibate most of my life lol, so abortion is not a choice i’ve ever even come close to having to consider at any point. i am a sexual abuse survivor tho, and this is a little hard to explain, but part of the reason the abortion debate is so triggering for me is because it’s invasive – insanely invasive. and something about it just feels comparable to sexual assault in a way. i know it’s not the same thing, but just the energy of it feels the same to me – the idea that our bodies are not our own, and that it’s really about men thinking they have the “right” to dictate what happens to our bodies and even inside of them. it’s just gut wrenchingly gross on a soul level for me 😔

        1. kat

          Hi sweet pea 🙂

          sorry, I didn’t even say “hi” properly in my last comment. So glad to read from you 🙂

          “the idea that our bodies are not our own, and that it’s really about men thinking they have the “right” to dictate what happens to our bodies and even inside of them. it’s just gut wrenchingly gross on a soul level for me”

          That’s it! you worded it so perfectly. It’s an absolute disrespect of boundaries by wanting to destroy our bodily autonomy. Still it’s so effing incomprehensible for me. Maybe because I would never ever think of doing that to another human being. Like, why? What’s in it for them? I know of the wounded masculine that is scared of the feminine leaving him and being independent from him but still, it’s hard to grasp.

          1. sweet pea

            aw no worries 🤗❤️💕

            and yeah i had come to understand the wounded masculine, but at the root of that there is a soul that wants to be healed. this kind of stuff feels different 😔 like a level of hatred and soullessness that has nothing but emptiness at the core 💔 when i see these old gross republican dudes talking about how 12 year old rape victims should have to carry their rapist’s baby to term cause it’s “god’s will” 🙄 i cannot fathom there is a soul in there. you ask why, and it’s basically like these monsters thrive off of being as vile as possible… it’s awful 😔

      3. Elila

        Uh YEAH I relate!! I have always thought if you don’t like the idea of an abortion, then DONT FUCKING HAVE ONE!!!!!! And then mind your own damn business and do not concern yourself with what others choose. If it’s such a thing for all these “pro lifers” (which is a bullshit description because they clearly are only placing “value” on “fetal life”, and not on ALL life) why haven’t they ALL adopted some of the LIFE that’s already HERE and desperately needs love and attention??? Until that happens I’m calling bullshit on all of them.

        And sweet pea I agree 100% with everything you have expressed here and once again applaud your brilliant articulation and also Maria’s –this whole convo is just so dead on

        1. kat

          I second everything you said Elila. I still can’t believe some states in the US made abortion illegal. Have women moved out of those states? What was the reaction?

          1. Elila

            You know what Kat I don’t even know what the reaction has been –I avoid the news like raw sewage and guys in MAGA hats lol

          2. sweet pea

            hard to explain Kat… the US is weird right now 😔 the majority of people don’t agree w all the things going on, but we have a loud obnoxious minority that has cheated their way into power on many levels, and they’ve been doing it gradually for decades. so basically we have like 25% of the country that has all these awful beliefs making the laws for the rest of the 75% of us 🙄 so most people are either infuriated or indifferent because we’re kind of powerless to stop a lot of it because they just keep breaking the rules and cheating.

            it’s really like we live in the upside down at this point, and it’s not stopping… the forced-birthers are even going after birth control now 🙄🙄🙄🙄like seriously, if you really wanted to prevent abortions you’d WANT birth control provided everywhere! but nope, they don’t actually give a dang about abortion they just want women to be as powerless and feel as useless as possible 🙄 i literately saw some right wing talking head lady the other day going on about how birth control needs to be abolished because it’s preventing gods intention and we need to “stop treating fertility like a disease” 🙄🙄🙄🙄 i seriously can’t with these people 🤦‍♀️

  3. sweet pea

    yup, Maria, at the end of the day, that’s the issue. facts, science, reason, fairness, and even ‘sanctity of life’ don’t matter. it’s shameless hypocrisy and misogyny and nothing else. again that’s why i’m done giving them one bit of my time 🙅‍♀️ we vote them out, we stop giving a single care about tiptoeing around fragile religious sensibilities, and we unapologetically take our power back. i used to consider myself somewhat “center left” politically because i felt like we had to meet the other side in the middle, but after trump, and how right wing extremists don’t meet in the middle on anything, i don’t care one bit to bother with what they want, cause pretty much everything they want is awful an unreasonable. to me they’re gradually and in a variety of ways opting themselves out of what it takes to be a part of a civilized society, and it’s time for society to stop vibrating down to make them comfortable. they can either evolve and progress, or they can go live on an island somewhere and create their own patriarchal, racist, gun-filled, baby factory wonderland far away from the rest of us lolllll 🙅‍♀️

    1. All so well said, sweet pea. It’s interesting, because that’s where I considered myself politically before Trump. But he busted everything wide open in a way. He gave permission in a way for everyone’s true colors to come out, which filtered down to even interpersonal relationships. I opened my eyes, on many levels. To the misogyny, racism, and homophobia, to the xenophobia that many people practice.

      And, even though I am not directly involved in politics, I can see why the unapologetic freshmen Democrat progressives in the House are where this country is needing to go. Because the corporate Dems are just going to perpetuate the status quo, and that’s because they are still living large on their donors’ money and don’t want to rock the boat.

      Unless Trump tanks the economy and Pelosi’s billionaire donors tell her to begin impeachment because they don’t want the stock market to crash.

      So we’ll see if this country is ready for a real progressive president in 2020, someone like Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren, or will they need a moderate Democrat who still has no real policy, as a stepping stone, or…….will they need another four years of Trump. How bad will it need to get before people stop voting against their own best interests.

      You’re so right, the Republican Party has no interest in democracy, and playing nice with them isn’t working. It may be time for hardball.

      But the big question is, Are people ready for change. Because the progressives represent change, at least in a 3D way. It’’ll be a test for humanity in the next few years. And it’s because of people like us that the light on this planet is beginning to bust things wide open.

  4. sweet pea

    lol Maria, everything you just wrote is the exact thoughts that play through my head when i weigh it all too 🙃 it will be interesting to see what happens 🤷‍♀️ i just know i’ve been so shaken up by it all 😩.

    everyone always describes how politics are a pendulum, and we just go back and forth between the 2 extremes – right to left, over and over, but to me this go of it all feels different? like it feels “up or down” to me, light or dark. and i try to remember exactly what you describe, how it’s a purge and a bringing to the surface of all this awful stuff. so i hold hope that it’s enough of a purge that we don’t go back to that same lateral pendulum after this, and actually shift somewhere higher… at least the majority anyways 😔

    1. Yes, sweet pea, trust those feelings…you are right. It IS different. It’s not the same old back and forth.

      How long it will take humanity to shift to the higher consciousness, well, that’s up for debate. But one thing is for sure, a lot of folks are pretty tired of that pendulum thing. And some of those people will be finding their way to us, we the teachers and advocates of a new way. Whether it’s the clerk at the grocery store, an executive at your bank, your next door neighbor….and they will sense something different. Even someone who has the potential to do something violent. They will sense our presence and it has the potential to diffuse their rage, at least in that moment.

      And the beauty is, we don’t have to say a word, or lift a finger to impact others. It’s just being in our balance, and our radiance.

  5. sweet pea

    yes to the last part ❤️ i know i keep saying it, but im just done with any connection or even conversation with anyone stuck in that energy because it just becomes looping. i’m just going to go towards the direction of what feels like goodness and freedom and love within myself, and just BE more of those things. y’all can either find your way to that stuff too, but i’m not sacrificing being in it to come get you 🙅‍♀️

  6. Elila

    This conversation is fucking brilliant. Thank you for it ladies! I laughed so hard at the “patriarchal, racist, gun filled, baby factory wonderland”–I think I’m living in an outpost of that island right now Lolz
    Love you yous xo

  7. kat

    “i literately saw some right wing talking head lady the other day going on about how birth control needs to be abolished because it’s preventing gods intention and we need to “stop treating fertility like a disease” 🙄🙄🙄🙄 i seriously can’t with these people 🤦‍♀️”

    What the actual f*?!

    And that is coming from a woman. She doesn’t realise that those children (whose mothers are forced to give birth to them) will most likely have a horrible life because they were unwanted. I can’t believe this is happeneing in a 1st world country!

    1. I’m thinking we are more like a 33rd world country. ☺️☺️☺️☺️ Or maybe a 108th world country.

      I don’t watch, listen or read the news anymore. Haven’t for about 30 years. I find out things here and there. Not living in and focusing on a 3D world where I just don’t live anymore. And years ago I realized that getting depressed was not a great contribution to world peace. My honey, who is an avid reader, only looks at the news now on Tuesdays because “Mr It rolls off me” was getting depressed.

      We are definitely in Armageddon and we are healing and we are at the OW, yukky, pus-filled, oozing wound, “it’s never going to get better” stage.

      This shit has to get out into the light so it can be healed.

      Loving us all.

      Thanks Maria for creating this space for us all. ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️


    2. Elila

      Yeah and the KID will likely have a shitty life too because it was unwanted! And what about all the kids who are already HERE and starved for love and care? How about if all those forced birthers (that term is awesome sweet pea) with their shitty spiteful mysogynistic god focus some of that control freak energy on the issue that’s already HERE instead of a mass of cells in a woman’s uterus?????? I’m glad I don’t have such a goddamn cruel god.

    3. sweet pea

      yes Kat, it’s unreal 😔 but that’s exactly the thing they keep exposing – they don’t give one single lick about “life” or the actual children that they are forcing to be born, they just hate women. there is no rhyme or reason to what they are doing, but they just stick to their guns about their wrongness. and yeah it’s even more mind boggling when women are pushing this nonsense because you can’t imagine how much self-hatred they have to have to have that mind-set.

      the truth is, if we actually let them have their way and we abolished abortion and we all stopped taking birth control and women just sat around having babies all day, the country would be an unimaginable overcrowded disaster of poverty, child neglect and abuse, crime, depression, drugs, lack of resources, children without homes, etc. etc. it would be utter madness… but guarantee you these jerks would 100% be the first and loudest ones complaining about it all! they’d be blaming people for not taking care of “all the kids they created”. ugggggg. it’s all kinds of insanity. 😔

      and Elizabeth totally agree with you. i don’t actually watch the news either. i only hear about certain things or see certain headlines or clips about things and really it’s just the major things that are kind of everywhere and hard to ignore like the abortion issue. but agree with you that when i pay more attention and it does pull me down drastically. it’s just hard to ignore certain things because some issues – like civil rights issues, women’s rights, etc. those things are just so intrusive it’s hard to not feel the need to “fight back” in some way.

      ug it is so so exhausting for the soul though 💔

      1. Elila

        Ugh yes so true sweet pea. All of it. I don’t watch the news either as I’ve said, and I also always say to people who ask me how I will know about “important things” happening, that “trust me, the world will NOT afford me the LUXURY of not knowing!”. ANNNND..….just this last week I have been reeling and even watching some news clips because a woman who lives across the street in my neighborhood who I see sometimes when Im walking, strangled her 5yr old daughter and then shot herself in the head. It’s been a crazy low vibe energy pocket around here and the press is rabid as usual and eager to demonize another woman as you can imagine. The fact that no one is questioning the little girls father about why he didn’t act for DAYS after a missed custody swap when it’s actually documented that the woman was suffering severe depression and anxiety and had threatened to do exactly what she did more than once before! But the press is focusing on how the mother let her child down. As far as im concerned the father is culpable as well– he also failed miserably to protect his child.

        1. sweet pea

          ug that’s awful Elila 😔

          that’s the biggest flaw in their argument to me is that they don’t give a single dang about actual LIFE! not one lick about the ACTUAL LIFE that will happen for any of the zygotes and embryos when they are actually ALIVE and have actual LIVES to live. so the quality of life, the safety, the health, the mental stability or well being of the parents that will need to care for them, the financial support they will need to be taken care of… none of it. all they care is that the mother doesn’t get to make the choice about her body.

          it’s so so infuriating. and totally fine if they want to do what they want for their lives, great! but nope, they are hellbent on invading other people’s bodies, bedrooms, relationships, marriages, and thinking they have a right to other people’s private choices… ug… all of it is just infuriating.

          and then again, they are the biggest complainers about the effects of the things they try to force on people 🤦‍♀️ when we try to create ways to help out all these kids they want to force into the world they start screaming about “communism!” and “socialism!” and they demonize the kids and parents for the situations they are in. it’s. so. dang. maddening.

          honestly it ties into our other conversation about relationships in a way… like they are committed to a level of misery in their existence, and “gosh darnit if we are going to be miserable, then all the rest of y’all are gonna be miserable too!”

          1. Elila

            Yep you are right I see the correlation–and I supposed it makes sense when you have such a miserable punishing petty god that you would want to make sure everyone else has to suffer as “inevitably” as you think you have to. And somehow this despotic “god” has been perpetuated for CENTURIES!! Go fig. Even as a child growing up in the Catholic religion I couldn’t understand the enormous inconsistencies in telling us “god is love” when all I saw was suffocating hatred and flimsy male justifications. Misery sure does love company.

          2. sweet pea

            yes yes yes EXACTLY Elila! word for word. i have said that for years that all of their miserable beliefs go back to their miserable god concept. that god is SUCH a miserable, abusive, petty, hypocritical, ego maniacal sociopath… and in my opinion completely made up but a bunch of dudes 🤷‍♀️

            ever since leaving the church, rediscovering a concept of god has been the most difficult but important part of my spiritual journey… still not really sure of what i even think “god” is at this point, i just know it’s not that big a** of a god they used to force on me ever again, no ma’am! 🙅‍♀️

          3. Elila

            Haha yes–it seems the power hungry MEN who wrote the bible (ugh i argued with my mother ENDLESSLY that “god” did NOT write the bible….) created god in their own image lol lol. What’s really frightening is that people use the bible as their textbook for life–imagine if any other endeavor still used a two THOUSAND year old manual to guide them? Surgeons? Teachers? Mechanics? These people need an UPGRADE!!!! Can I GET an hallelujah?????? 😂😂😂

          4. sweet pea

            omgggg yes Elila! ‘Conversations with God’ was basically my very first “ascension-y” book lol… when i had just left home, and had just left the church, i started on louise hay first, but for health reasons, and those books led me to seeing a counselor to deal with my family stuff. and then she gave me CWG because i was just tip-toeing into a lost agnostic-y place, and she knew atheism wasn’t where i was going, but that religion was no longer where i could stay. that book was like the PERFECT thing i needed in the moment because it still used a concept of god i was familiar with, but it softly stretched my ideas about that god… so it didn’t freak me out too much, but it at least opened me up to thinking outside of my conditioning from the church… and that book felt soooo good when i read it 😩. next she gave me ‘power of now’, and then ‘Marianne Williamson’.

            i swear you and i are in such sync right now lol. you perfectly articulated what i’ve been feeling! ☺️ i’ve actually been in a bit of a weird space about how i no longer want to read spiritual stuff anymore… like other than Maria’s blog, i’ve dropped off reading everything “spiritual”, and it’s been kind of bumming me out because i’m in one of those awful “disconnected from spirit” phases we’ve talked about on here before – where i’m totally disconnected from the “magical” and “inspiring” stuff, and so i kind of wish i was motivated to read that stuff again… but i’m just not 😔

            but this perfectly captures why… “As great and helpful as all those books were back then, they don’t really exemplify where I am now. ” yup, that’s exactly it. i feel like reading it all would be circling back to things that don’t resonate anymore. and yes, also that same place about just no longer seeking guidance from teachers in general.

            i feel soooo so stagnant right now that i was almost feeling like i should just force myself to go read something lol, but once i read what you wrote, i immediately felt confirmation that it’s not what i need… even though the place i’m in now sucks and doesn’t feel like it has inspiration or guidance, it still wouldn’t make sense to circle back to the information i needed in the phases of my growth that i can no longer go back to. and i also don’t need to go back to the old way of seeking out my answers from external sources. i do feel such a strong need to connect to spirit and find inspiration again, but i’ve gotta find it within.

          5. Elila

            Sweet pea
            Hope I hit the reply button for the right comment lol! I love your story about CWG!
            It seems to me that the disinterest in reading spiritual stuff is pretty common in this process. I’ve heard it a lot from others. There seems to be a seeking phase and then at some point it kinda falls off and we are just not drawn to it anymore, and yep it starts a process of really going within and learning to connect to and trust our own innate wisdom. And me too Maria’s posts and the comments is the only stuff I’m still drawn to. It feels safe here and that we are all speaking the same language and coming from a loving place (as opposed to fear or control based). And it’s not so much about seeking here as it is about supporting and sharing and some healthy bolstering lol. Maria is brilliant and insightful and illuminating but without the guru-y ego vibe in my opinion lol.
            And yes there are definitely pockets where I feel disconnected and can’t seem to make “contact” haha, and at those times I try to find stuff to laugh about and stuff to appreciate, even if it’s just “I love hot water so much”. I figure laughter and gratitude are more high vibe and if I can reach for those simple things then my vibe has to increase some and it’s sort of like meeting spirit halfway–like my higher self can connect to me easier if i reach up just a little and then hopefully I can just let spirit do the heavy lifting to pull me out. Also I’m finding lately it seems that too much time on line or looking at screens is scrambling my circuits and I need to consciously back off from it to create space for my own connection. Too much screen time is overwhelming and overstimulating for me and not in a good way and this is what I’m wrastling with these days–allowing more empty space. We all know the boredom that comes with this slow as molasses process and my kneejerk is to want to distract and entertain myself, but now I’m starting to notice that that is maybe not gonna work anymore if that makes sense. Feels like I maybe just need to get comfy in the empty spots and not fret too much haha

        2. sweet pea

          yes Elila! i used to ask my mama the same thing as a kid! if this thousand year old book is the manual for life then literally what is the point of existence since then? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ like what in the good gracious are we all doing here!?!?! like we’re not meant to learn anything or progress or evolve or grow in any way? just sit around and read this book all day and try to make sense of it in context to our lives now? spoiler alert… most of it doesn’t make sense now and a ton of it didn’t even logic out back then!

          like to me it’s the equivalent of all of civilization sitting around trying to live our lives based off of like a small group of dudes’ diaries. 🤦‍♀️ like why??

          and yes yes yes… that’s exactly the other thing i always say! how the god they wrote about is “conveniently” a version of god that makes a selfish abusive misogynist in charge of the universe 🙄🙃 … like when they say “man was created in the image of god from the bible”, i call bull poo… y’all created an image of god in the bible after yourselves 🤨

          1. Elila

            Yasssssssss! Like we are never supposed to change or evolve or get stronger/smarter…but I think that was PART OF THE POINT of the Bible was to keep people, especially women, in a place of struggle (moral and otherwise) & confusion. People who are struggling to comprehend ambiguity or contradiction, or toe some line or remain chaste all while their greatest fears are being invented and stoked are far easier to control and influence, and DUPE. And then GUILT works a treat on those people! So yeah I think the control factor was built in to the bible (ugh it is annoying me no end that autocorrect keeps capitalizing “god” and “bible” and I have to keep going back and removing those unwarrented capitals!!!). Let us not forget that the whole “christianity” bit was mostly a violently FORCED endeavor with a LOT of bloodshed. And it was enforced by the “government’s” of the time–kings etc, to further their own personal power. People didn’t just flock to it because it was so wonderful. And it makes my heart hurt how they bastardized and used Yeshua (hmm autocorrect didn’t capitalize THAT name….I had to) and what he tried to teach/show. As far as I’m concerned the bible is propaganda and a lot of religion smells a bit cult-y sometimes….

            Annnnnnyway….yesterday on my walk I saw something even scarier than guys in MAGA hats and just as toxic as raw sewage…..it was a WOMAN, in a bright pink tee shirt that read…..
            “trump 2020” (annnnd autocorrect capitalized that name too–no effin way not on my watch!!! Lol). Seriously how frightening is THAT. Talk about defying evolution. She was walking towards a christian music concert in the park.

          2. sweet pea

            yes yes Elila! EXACTLY how i feel about the bible. and yes yes yes! about the history of christianity. whenever they go off on islam being a religion of violence, that’s exactly where my brain goes. like…. um… y’all realize christianity established itself by terrorizing it’s way through the world right? most major religions have done this nonsense in the name of “their god”.

            lol on your punctuation battles 😂. it’s funny cause once i left the church i subconsciously stopped capitalizing the word god, and now i’m aware i do it, and i think it’s mostly intended for me to disassociate it with the old god concept i’m letting go of, but also i think it’s partially in rebellion to religious people who get all righteous and correct people who lower case it 😋.

            and ug. the woman in the trump shirt going to the christian concert… unfortunately that’s a perfect metaphor for the christian women i grew up around… women who volunteer for their role in patriarchy and spend their lives defending it at their own expense. 😔

            and something else with the whole bible worship thing… not only can i no longer imagine sticking to an old static manual ever again, my own spiritual beliefs are sooo fluid and everchanging i can’t even imagine going back to spiritual teachings i was drawn to like a few years ago lol 🙃. there are of course foundational beliefs i hold that never shift, and that grow even stronger the more i explore – so by that i mean things always center around, or somehow come back to things like love, goodness, authenticity, self-awareness, self-sovereignty, light, energy dynamics, the search for freedom, and so on… but the concepts and processes and perspectives – i swear that stuff is always changing for me! the books i read at the start of my ascension journey wouldn’t resonate with me at all now. like a few i can think of are louise hay books, or eckhart tolle books, or just in general books that simply explored the basic idea of “ascension”… and now the idea of reading about certain things like that ever again feels exhausting and tedious. so going back and re-reading and studying and arguing about a diary from thousands of years ago… lol no ma’am! 🙅‍♀️

          3. Elila

            Gahhhh YESSSSSS sweet pea —- “Christianity established itself by terrorizing it’s way through the world….” That’s exactly it and just the most perfect and succinct summation!!
            And yes with the lower case letters it’s not really a “spitting on” kind of gesture, it’s more a way of dissociating myself from THAT particular “god”, as in I do NOT believe in that specidfic mean deity at ALL, and I do not think the bible earns my respect either. Funny you should call it ” static” lol, and I know what you meant, but it actually has been changed over and over again over the centuries to suit various mens’ power grasping egos and interpretations. I’m pretty sure no woman has ever been allowed to amend or contribute to that though hahaha. Why on earth would I sell myself so completely to something that I’m not even represented or valued in? Where I’m blatantly deemed less-than and inferior? No thanks. My version of “god” is much more loving, accepting, non judgemental, and doesn’t need the arrogant bigging up or demand worship. It’s more evolved than that 😉💙💙💙
            And yes me too the stuff I read 10, 20 years ago doesn’t vibe the same anymore. I remember for example hungrily devouring everything Neale Donald Walsh wrote (like the Conversations with God series), and I even got to meet him once in Palm Beach and he gave me one of the best and most authentic loving hugs I’ve EVER received in my entire life, but it would feel like pedaling backwards to go back to that same stuff now! For exactly the reasons you describe. (And me too I read Louise hay and Eckhart tolle, and Marianne Williamson and the Abraham books, and don Miguel Ruiz….and and and….haha) As great and helpful as all those books were back then, they don’t really exemplify where I am now. Plus where I am now I’m more trusting of my own interpretations or feelings about stuff and not nearly as interested in “seeking” or other people’s opinions at this point.

  8. kat

    @fellow women here (Elila, Elizabeth and sweet pea in particular)

    I don’t watch the news either out of the same reason as you. And elila that is absolutely horrible what happened in your neighbourhood and I totally agree with you that it is ALSO the father’s fault. People don’t realise how common it is for women to have post natal depression that – if left untreated – can lead to horrible scenarious like it did in your neighbourhood and because society still sees child rearing as a solely female job they don’t even think about what the father could have done to prevent such a situation, It’s so infuriating!

    1. Elila

      Right on kat—exaaaaaaaactly!!!! No one cares about how the patriarchal “system” failed this woman. I’m not sticking up for her or justifying her actions–perhaps she was just an awful person. But I do take issue with the fact that no one is blaming the father for anything or holding him accountable. As a matter of fact a particular FEMALE reporter has seemingly taken it upon herself to show HIM as a tragic victim!!!!

      So “father’s rights” have come up in conversation too due to this event and all the abortion stuff. And I’m telling my 20yr old nephew, for example, that NO ONE gets to have any say about what a woman does with her own body, and If a guy wants to make sure that a woman doesn’t abort a baby that he himself wants, then he should be EXTREMELY careful and selective about who he sleeps with, and take on the responsibility of birth control himself for starters!

      1. kat

        YES! Men can technically impregnate 100 women a day. They are much more fertile than women if you look at the number of children they are able to create. We need to put much much more responsibility on them to wrap up and NOT impregnate a woman by taking care of their own contraceptive measures if they don’t want kids. And if a woman wants to abort then this is on her. There was a thread on reddit where a guy coerced his f* buddy into bringing a child into the world (she didn’t want it) and said he would take care of it on his own. She just should give birth to the baby and not abort it. She gave all her parental rights up but still paid more child support than she had to. He then realised how hard of a job it was to raise a kid and opened this thread on reddit to get advice on how to get this woman to take on her mothering role. I was happy to see that people tore him a new butthole in the comments, saying that he was an arsehole because he forced her to give birth in the first place and now expects her to do sth, she refused to do from the start.
        and yeah that woman in your neighbourhood could have been evil but very likely she did have some mental issues because – looking at friends with kids – child rearing is just absolutely not easy. On the contrary,. And if someone is not emotioanlly stable anyway then things like that can happen. She should have received helped beforehand but I bet the birth forcers were against any additional tax paid help for mothers in bad mental/emotional situations.

        1. Elila

          Omg YES, Kat. Agree totally with all you say here. Men need to start taking responsibility and an active role in preventing happenstance pregnancies and all the work getting dumped on the mother. I’d like to say that sex itself needs to be dialed back more towards an intimate and sacred act and less of the competitive impersonal sport it’s become, with mostly women and children paying the price. But that might be radically idealistic lol. An unwanted pregnancy occurs and a guy can pretty much go about his normal life uninterrupted, but the woman, no matter what she decides, cannot do the same, emotionally or physically, even if she has an abortion. And what about the women who do have the baby? THEY aren’t supported at all either!!! Think of how hard women are forced to fight for child support, if they get it at all, even when it’s court mandated? And that’s just the money bit, what about the rearing and day to day? It’s a lot less demanding to be a weekend dad than a lifelong mother. And the forced birthers sure aren’t lining up to help her.
          Whenever I saw this woman in my neighborhood, even tho I never spoke with her, I always felt a distinctly “defeated” vibe even tho I knew nothing of her story other than that she
          was living in a dilapidated rat infested crappy building (one of the male neighbors I know asked why the father hadn’t at LEAST made sure his daughter and her mother weren’t living in a shithole?) All I can guess is that this woman probably felt trapped and helpless. At a disadvantage in every way. Unable to provide even with a full time job. Yes perhaps she was an awful lazy abusive parent who never should have had kids. But maybe she was one of millions of women who end up with way more than they can handle on their own because men aren’t holding up their end and are perhaps even sabotaging them, and a society and government that doesn’t ensure support either. I can only speculate that women who feel supported and valued and treated fairly usually don’t feel the need to kill their children or themselves.

  9. Kat

    ” An unwanted pregnancy occurs and a guy can pretty much go about his normal life uninterrupted, ”

    Exactly and this is so annoying! And then men have the cheek to think they can tell us what to do with our bodies and force us to give birth. They can fuck off altogether!
    “what about the rearing and day to day? It’s a lot less demanding to be a weekend dad than a lifelong mother. And the forced birthers sure aren’t lining up to help her.”

    I know! There was a programme I watched about a mother leaving their family after the divorce. The kids were all relatively independent (The youngest was about 11 years old) and she moved across states to be with her new boyfriend while the father stayed living with the kids. But the mother was always in touch with them, skyped with them regularly and came to visit them as often as she could (that was in US) and guess what: she received death threats! From random people who were so offended by the fact that it wasn’t the father but the mother leaving and the woman herself said that if she was a man she would be congtratulated to be such a good father because she never forgot a Skype appointment or a visit.

    ” why the father hadn’t at LEAST made sure his daughter and her mother weren’t living in a shithole?”

    Good question. I bet many people (especially the forced birthers) blamed the woman herself for being in such a situation.

    ” But maybe she was one of millions of women who end up with way more than they can handle on their own because men aren’t holding up their end and are perhaps even sabotaging them, and a society and government that doesn’t ensure support either.”

    Absolutely! And yes women, who are supported, don’t kill themselves and their kids. Why would they? Also, put MORE REPSONSIBILITY on the MEN!

    1. sweet pea

      hey Kat & Elila,

      i posted an article in the comments of another one of Maria’s posts that y’all should read, it’s amazing lol.

      this lady took the abortion debate and flipped it completely back on men needing to take responsibility. her main point is the fact that 100% of unwanted pregnancies are because of men. she refutes pretty much every anti-abortion talking point and brings it back to men over and over:


      soooo good.

      1. Kat

        Hey sweet pea,

        I know that article by that lady already and like you, I LOVE it! She has such great arguments and it’s so refreshing to hear a new viewpoint on this matter.

        1. sweet pea

          yes Kat, i was so happy she said all that stuff out loud because she articulated it all SO well! once i read it i decided that i refuse to discuss abortion with forced-birthers ever again and instead i’m just sending them that link 💁‍♀️

          1. Kat

            haha, good move!!
            There is absolutely NOTHING they can say against this. But then again, they never really had any proper arguments in the first place

      2. Elila

        Sweet pea I read it already too when you posted it before–it was soooo good! Part of my argument about men being held more accountable came directly from that article!

        1. sweet pea

          it’s sooooo good 😩🙌

          and honestly before i read it i had never really given a ton of thought to flipping the abortion debate to male accountability, i think mostly cause i’m so used to being buried in defense of simply wanting things to not be forced on us.

          it’s really how it usually is too 🤨 women are constantly on the defense to not be punished for things that are not actually wrong, but just deemed wrong by patriarchy, and yet there are epidemic level things men do that are not remotely punished to that level or with that urgency…i.e. rape and domestic abuse.

          like her argument about that hypocrisy really hit me….for instance they take no issue with the idea of women having permanent punishment for what they consider a bad choice… by that i mean how they believe that having to carry the pregnancy term is appropriate “punishment” for having “irresponsible sex”…. well then what about permanent punishment for rape? chemical castration? once we say stuff like that they get all up in arms about the possible issues that would come with that level of consequence for men 🙅‍♂️ yet rape is a real legitimate epidemic! can you imagine if convicted rapists were castrated??? bet that would scare some of them a little bit 😠

          point being is there is no hesitation from them to give women life long consequences for a made up crime, yet they would never give en the same level of consequences for an actual crime that men are committing on epidemic levels every day.

          she just really hit me hard with her point about how much women are just expected to suffer while we go overboard to make it as comfortable and without consequence for men in so many ways. 😔

          1. sweet pea

            lolll Elila i swear you’re in my head this week 🤯

            i think you captured EXACTLY what it is for me in that i’m totally put off by any kind of “guru” energy at this point. doesn’t matter if it’s religion or new age-y stuff or just any sort of anyone else telling me “their way”. so reading books by people who see themselves as philosophers or spiritual masters… even though they may be saying things that totally resonate with me in terms of ideas or concepts, i’m just not pulled to the way those types present the information anymore… like in the sense that THEY have MY answers. and yes that’s exactly why i’m drawn here because Maria has never ever been like that. this blog has always resonated with me in a way that it either comforts me because she “gets me” or it stirs me into reflection and change by gently by making me aware of somewhere i need to grow, but i never come here and feel like i need to relinquish myself to someone else’s thinking or leave myself to follow someone else’s way.

            there is this quote by a really great poet that perfectly says it…

            “the greatest teacher will send you back to yourself” – nayyirah waheed

            that’s really the only kind of guidance that feels right for me anymore… the kind that sends me back to myself to find the answers in myself.

            interesting too what you say about too much screen time and too much overwhelming and overstimulating stuff and just letting spirit do the heavy lifting… i think maybe that’s a lot of it for me too? like that i’m just maybe burnt out on “taking in information” at the moment. i wouldn’t say i’m burnt on the “seeking”, i actually miss that aspect and crave that curious energy, but i think the “mental seeking” is what i’m burnt out on. like i spent so many years at the start of this process ingesting SOOO much information that i think the ascension experience was really mental and overthink-y… and even though i learned so much during that phase… to be honest, not a lot manifested from it? like i feel like i “know” a lot more than i did before that phase, but i can’t say much has actually manifested in my physical world because of it? layers of change internally for sure… but not a lot of change actually pulled into “being”.

            so maybe that’s what this weird dead space is about for me. 🤷‍♀️ it’s not that i’m done seeking and learning and growing, it’s just that doing it on a informational/mental level is what no longer resonates. so like you say “i maybe just need to get comfy in the empty spots”… and hopefully there is a more “integrated” phase of “growing” coming, so growth that isn’t just mind expansion or just internal spirit work, but change that is mind, body, spirit shifting together.

  10. Elila

    Oh sweet pea I love that quote. That’s how I feel too. And when I said that about seeking I really meant that I’m not really into seeking in the guru-y way where I’m looking for answers outside myself and following someone else’s way. Mental seeking like you said–yes that’s a good way to say it. I still like anecdotal info, like hearing someone elses experience, but i shut down when someone is trying to apply it to me or say their way is THE way and that i need to do whatever they are doing. Because then it feels like they need me to agree with them or do what they are doing or did to justify themselves instead of just sharing their experience without needing me to validate them. That as you said they think they have MY answers. I still want the curious energy and the delight of new discovery! But yes exactly same as you I feel like my hard drive is full up on mostly useless data. I call it the whale method/syndrome where I’m having to swallow thousands of gallons of seawater just to get a few little plankton of actual useful knowledge. And it’s left me feeling sluggish and bloated! There is just too much info overload and stimulation and I don’t have room left for it and it’s hard to delete effectively! I’m left with brain clutter it feels like. Just like you said too much mentalness. I feel like I need some space in that area so a more fluid “feeling-knowing” and connection can move in if that makes sense? It’s like trying to get the sand out of my glass of water haha.
    Yes yes yes too much over-thinky, and boy you are right not much of actual manifestation/change. I just have this vague-ish sense that I’m leaning into a diff kind of knowing thats more about feeling-knowing (I dont know how to better articulate it yet) than the mental info gathering and “research” ive ealways done in the past? Something thats more innate and connected and clear/fluid and SPECIFICALLY applicable and useful for me and not necessarily anyone else, without all the superfluous clutter that not only doesn’t help me, it clouds up my pool. Im not sure I’m making any sense, I feel a bit stumbly trying to put words to it, but I have a feeling you will get it!

  11. sweet pea

    ah yes yes yes Elila 😩 you perfectly articulated EXACTLY how i feel 🙌 like word for word. i guess it puts us in a place of having to commit to trusting ourselves no matter, because even if we don’t clearly know what our answers are from within yet, we’re becoming instinctively less and less interested in the external noise enough to listen for them.

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