This morning I had a maid service come in to do a top to bottom cleaning of my apartment. Every so often I call the service, usually when the place is one step before an intervention. No, I jest. But it was getting pretty dusty and grimy in there.
What was even nicer this time is a dear friend offered to pay for it. And I didn’t give into the temptation to use the money for more ‘practical’ things.
Many people would look at my apartment and ask, why not just clean it yourself? It’s not very large. You have all day. It’s not like you have a 9-5 job, or kids. Some may wonder if I have a secret tust fund.
The service isn’t cheap. But they have a good rep. They are in and out within an hour and a half. If I tried to clean, I would have to devote an hour and a half to just the kitchen.
And, look, there is nothing wrong with cleaning. Sometimes I do enjoy a mundane chore or two. I have been known to whistle while I work. And, now that the place is so neat and clean I can tackle those overlooked areas, like closets, and cupboards and drawers.
Also I noticed it moved some stuck energies.
And my dear friend who gifted me the denaro to pay the ladies helped me to see that I am worthy of maid service. I am the master after all. A creator-god pretending to be just a human.
Lately I’ve been feeling particularly anxious about things. It feels like my mind is trying to grasp onto its control of my life. Like a last gasp grasp. And it manifests as a free-floating anxiety, and it even spilled over into having my place cleaned. I was anxious about making sure they didn’t clean certain appliances. But the ladies couldn’t speak any English. So I walked around with them and tried to explain what I wanted done.
It feels like my mind is asking, can we trust life? Can I trust that what I want will come to me without struggle? Without things going horribly wrong?
TYING UP LOOSE ENDS
As I leaned over to tie my shoelaces this morning THE MAIDS knocked on my door. I greeted them, and after I walked them through the place one of them, Silvia, pointed to my shoes and said something in her native tongue. I laughed and said, oh, yeah, I don’t want to trip.
And without missing a beat Silvia leaned over and tied my shoelace. First the left one, then the right. I smiled at her and said, wow, my mom was the last person to do that for me.
I’m not sure if she understood the words, but in that moment we clearly connected with each other.
AND, MY POINT…..
So I’m honestly not sure what my point is here. But maybe it’s that we are the messy human, who doesn’t keep their place spotless. The human who has some physical issues that bother him, that maybe even scare him.
The human who still doesn’t trust that life will support her.
And we are also the Master, the Soul, and the I AM. The magnificent creator god and goddess. We are both.
I am the human who is unsure and scared and needs her shoelaces tied for her sometimes. And I am the Master, who reminds the human that life serves us. If we allow it to.
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This is a great clip of Mel Brooks singing the theme song of the comedy, High Anxiety, and it’s actually profound if you listen to the words….