Back Where I Started From

Photo credit Maria Chambers

I am sitting here at the cafe I started out sitting in over fifteen years ago.  I had left this cafe community about four years ago, then came back around recently, getting my coffee to go and sitting in my car. They have begun their reopen this week with limited sit down dining. The decor and tables are the same, even some of the original staff is here.  Many people from back then, when the cafe first opened up, are still patronizing the place. But something is different.

I am different.  I have traveled that long and lonely and often scary road.  I have let go of so much.  I am not the person I was back then.

I feel kind of beat up physically.  Kind of worn down by the process of embodied realization.  But definitely a lot lighter.  A lot more clear.

No, I haven’t traveled the world, or done that much on an outer level.  When you’re going through this arduous process, it’s almost distracting to do so.  Those of us who have awakened have been practicing social distancing long before the current Coronavirus Outbreak.

I am, many of us are at the end of a cycle of lifetimes on this beautiful Planet.  We know this will probably be our last lifetime here, so we want to make this one really count.

To others that may signal a need to do lots of living,  Travel, build a business, have a relationship of relationships, get really involved in things.

But to those who have gone through this embodied enlightenment experience, it probably means something quite different.

It does mean enjoying life like we never have before.  It means savoring things.  Being sensual on every level.  But we discover that can happen right here.  In our current home.  On our walk, going for coffee.  Having a nice meal.  Listening to music.

Just being can be ecstatic.  And it doesn’t have to involve anyone else.  In fact it probably won’t.  Because it’s such a solitary experience.  We are experiencing our own sovereignty.  Our own energy,  in such an intimate way.

Not that travel or any other of a number of things aren’t part of it.  As is being more creative and expressive.  Our soul loves creating and expressing.  But it’s all from an inner sense of joy for just being,  for being here.  For being here in a very physical and tangible way, coupled with being in the energy of our own soul.

This is radical stuff.

So here I am, right back where I started from.  Sitting, sipping my dark roast, writing, and savoring.  From the outside in, my life may not appear much different than it was fifteen years ago.

That’s the funny thing about awakening.

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11 thoughts on “Back Where I Started From

  1. As I said to my ma the other day,
    Wherever you go, there you are.
    And it really only matters what we think of ourselves, eh?

    Isn’t it just the most profound Bliss to be in this space, just BEING? ♥️♥️♥️♥️☕☕☕☕☕

    JIM AND I often laugh that we’re happy we don’t have the money to travel, because we just don’t care. I get why people do. But I wonder how many do it to escape to their existence.

    I’ve worked hard to get to this place of peace filled Bliss. I’m digging it.

    So happy you get to coffee cafe it again.

    Thanks dearest Sistar! Love you tons!


    1. So true, siSTAR, ‘wherever you go, there you are.‘. I like that one. It says it perfectly. And, yes, I do think some folks do the around the world thing to run from themselves. I’d rather send the postcards from my backyard. Lol. And, yes, we have worked damned hard for this place of bliss. And, yep, it’s good to be back to sitting INSIDE the cafe. I am appreciating it now in a way I didn’t think I could. Love you tons, too. 💕💕💕💕💕

  2. Barbara

    “Back where I started from” tells me that we did good, we were meant to get back to where we started from… I call it reverse engineering in my Capricorn way. No more bringing it here, work completed, now to enjoy the accomplishments of our inner and outer work and when the time comes, take it all home. To get back to where we started from was why we were here, so that we could lighten and light the load for others, and hopefully, then bring a few folks along with us, and so I repeat myself… we done good, “We done GREAT!” Does that mean we’re done? No, but just the fact that you are back where you started from is a huge symbolic sign in my heart thinking, and thus a perfected Soul Song. Love, B.

  3. Annette

    Well My Maria, just how ironic is this!? I remember when you set out to find something a little more fitting for you at the time, Wow.

    Surely did warm my heart to see you enjoying your dark roast, and writing. 🥰
    Looks like you had a nice little hide-a-way. ☕️📕

    1. It really is ironic my Annette. This is such a mysterious journey at times.

      Interestingly, a few times , Pre-COVID,, it crossed my mind to stop by this place, my old cafe community, that I missed it, but not the old entanglements here. And since the shut down of businesses, this place was the only one where I could walk in to get coffee to go, well decent coffee anyway.

      Then someone told me the cafe has a subscription program for 9 dollars a month you get limitless coffee.

      And, now that I think about it, I also wished that traffic congestion would ease up, and that I could top off my savings account with one or two thousand dollars somehow.

      Both of which magically fell into my lap via the pandemic. The universe works in mysterious ways.

      ….now, I’m gonna wish for that pony I always wanted! 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🐴🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

  4. “Those of us who have awakened have been practicing social distancing long before the current Coronavirus Outbreak.” a dear friend asked me how was things now with the pandemic, “just the same.. I don’t go out or engage to a lot of people, anyway!” haahaha when it comes to relationships.. I always say the same.. I’m so “busy” loving myself and this is my biggest joy. so far so good!

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