Ascension Update

The further along we are in this ascension process, often the worse our lives may feel.  Things seem to be falling apart physically, emotionally, financially, in relationships and jobs.

We scratch our heads and say, “I don’t get it.  What am I missing?  What’s the benefit of integrating my divine into my life if I’m left with nothing?  If my body is falling apart, my emotions are out of control, my mind is going crazy?  I don’t remember signing up for this!”

You say to yourself, or whoever will listen, “I see others around me, who know nothing about this ascension process, whose lives are getting better.  They seem to be healthy, and financially doing well.  Did I take a wrong road somewhere?

My body seems to be more sensitive than ever!  I’ve got these ailments that persist no matter what I do.  My mind just can figure it out!”

You may identify with some, or all of the above.  Whatever stage of this process you are in, you are probably experiencing some symptoms.  And the frustration that accompanies them.  Your friends or family probably don’t understand, even if they say they do.  They can’t, unless they have also given permission for this transformational process.  So this adds an element of feeling very alone.

So you get confused.  You don’t want to feel sorry for yourself, you know you are not a victim, but you can’t help but feel at the end of your rope from time to time.  What you may have forgotten is that even though you have been working on this process for lifetimes, this is THE lifetime you slated for your ascension.  Which means a hell of a lot of transformation needs to occur in your body of consciousness.

It takes an adventurous human to allow this process.  Not many want to undergo the massive inner and outer changes required.  Of things breaking down in their life, of losing things that they cherished.  Of facing the deepest and darkest of emotions, in order to clear them.  Of losing the things that gave them a sense of security, whether it was a job, a relationship, family, health, finances, and even the mental constructs called beliefs.  What they once believed no longer rings true for them anymore.  Who they thought they were seems to be dissolving.  The passions, the connections with others are going away!  Even their beliefs about being spiritual no longer apply.

So what started out as an exciting idea, this concept of enlightenment, isn’t exactly what we expected.  Or, put another way, its a lot more challenging than expected.

But the good news is, we are doing in a few short years in this lifetime, what took lifetimes to do.    We are rebirthing in these same bodies, and transforming them in the process.  It’s not that we don’t deserve joy, health, and financial abundance, but if we are to house our soul in these bodies, and into our life, we need to release anything that blocks the self-love.  And the result will be more joy, and our bodies, and our finances naturally come into balance.


Part of the awakening process is integrating our aspects.  Those aspects are parts of ourself from this and other lifetimes, that have separated from us.  Many of them are angry at us and want to create drama in our life.   They come in and accuse us of many things:  we are not good enough, smart enough, young enough, spiritual enough.  They feel angry, sad, confused, lost.  They make their presence known by how we feel.  They sense that something different is happening to us, and they come in close. They want to feel the love, and they want to come home.  Our job isn’t to try to analyze them or to figure out what life time or when they began. All we need to do is acknowledge those feelings, whether it is sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, boredom, or any other so-called ‘dark’ emotion,  and breathe in our soul to assist with integrating those aspects.  There should be no forcing or trying involved in this.  It’s just an allowing.

That’s the part many of us are still struggling with – the allowing of our soul-self to love us just as we are, and to infuse its presence into our bodies and our lives.  But if it is taking longer than desired then so be it.  This is a process after all.  If it could happen at the snap of a finger everyone would be ascending on the planet in an overnight fashion.

There are many in the new age community who contend that we are going into unity consciousness, and while that is true, we are required to be selfish enough to fall in love with ourselves, because unity consciousness can never manifest on this Planet if humans are running around, carrying old baggage that burdens them with old fears that tell them they are not good enough, or worthy enough to have a joyful life experience.  Each one of you is, or will be teaching others who are ready what you have learned on your way to ascension.  That information is more valuable than any amount of money or things.  Showing others by example how you are becoming an integrated human.

So as an aspect comes in and tries to tell you that you are not good enough on whatever level, you know the truth.  That you are love and you are spirit and you are also the darkness, you are all of it.  We were taught that being human is on the low-end of the totem pole, and spirit was way up there somewhere.  As we awaken, we realize that there is no totem pole.  There is simply a body of consciousness.  We come to understand that we exist in many dimensions at once.  That we are in the process of transmuting the denser energies.  That we are in the process of grounding the New Energy.  Learning to use the New Energy has its own challenges.  One is that it is easier and freer and we are not used to that.

Again, the biggest challenge to us on the ascension track is to allow this process.  To surrender to our soul.  To accept ourselves as we are.  And in that acceptance of it all…the seeming chaos of our lives, we begin to love ourselves into a joy-filled life experience.

Return To Magic

New Energy Music

Enjoy my song, Forest Dancewhile reading the post.  The music helps ground the message.

This process of transformation from human to Divine human has taken its toll on us emotionally, mentally and physically.  We may be feeling worn out and discouraged.  Add to that the mundane, daily maintenance required of us just to be here in these bodies!  Having to maintain our home, our car, the lawn, maybe you have a mate, children, a pet that requires attention.  And, god forbid, a ‘job’.

All of that can literally extract the joy right out of us!  We hear about the joy that awaits us, in the higher dimension, yet it feels elusive.

Yet, it’s joy and playfulness that will bring us into the new energy and reunite us with our soul self.  It’s allowing ourselves to become that child again, where you believe everything is possible.  Picasso said that it took him a lifetime to paint like a child.  He had to go through the ‘serious’ training, embracing all the protocol, all the rules, before he decided to throw them all out!

And that is what we have been doing.  We went through the conventional ways of learning and strove to fit into a left brain world, untill we finally said, enough!  We sensed there was another way, a more joyful way, to create our reality.

Now, you can be playful even as you are creating a painting with dark colors, a brooding landscape.  Remember as a child you pretended you were a pirate, a ‘bad guy?’. Wasn’t it fun?  As a musician I have created some rather sad songs, that evoke tears.  But its all from a place of honoring our feelings and expressing them.

But, more and more we prefer the lighter feelings.  So the colors of our life canvas are becoming predominantly more pure and bright.

To be more playful requires us to be more in the moment.  It may look abnormal to other people.  It requires a kind of easiness and freedom.  So much happening to us now is pushing us to be in the now moment.  To be in our bodies.  Why is that?  Because that is where home is, at least for now.  For our Soul to reside within us, we need to be home. Not somewhere else.  Worry and anxiety are a mental energy that is focused on the past or the future.  And our soul is not interested in worry or anxiety.  Our Soul is whole and complete and just wants to savor life in a human body.  Our Soul, like a child, wants to experience the sensual nature of life on the planet.  Our Soul has the ability to create with ease.  Our Soul knows how to heal our body, and how to create wealth, if that is what we desire.  But our soul needs a physical vehicle that is present, that is grounded here, to do that.  It needs a trusting human.  A human who isn’t trying to do it all by themselves.

The lack of trust and anxiety may have its origin long ago, but it’s not necessary to try to figure it out.  All that is necessary is to invite in our Soul, into our bodies and our life, just as it is, and then all that stuff just clears up.  You begin to focus more and more on, how can I have FUN today?



If you want to feel your soul, and to rekindle passion and health and abundance, you have to be selfish.  (See my post, Get Selfish And Stay There). You have to show yourself that you are serious about your enlightenment, that is, serious enough to be playful.  You have to demonstrate to yourself that you are loving you on a daily basis.   That you deserve your hearts’ desires.

Take that walk in nature.  Sit by a big tree.  Feel its roots.  Feel yourself as that tree.  Strong, deeply rooted in the earth, able to withstand storms, wind, snow, rain, and always in the right season, yielding new leaves. You are now being nourished by the rain, soil, and sun of your Higher Self. You have been like the tree, going through your iterations.

Your leaves are about to sprout new leaves.  They have been dormant for a while, as you were in the winter of your soul.

Give yourself treats.  Don’t be stingy with yourself.  This is not the time to be holding back.  Give to yourself with the understanding that energy is LIMITLESS. This will be challenging for many lightworkers, who have been taught that Tis Better To Give Than To Receive..  They will feel guilty.  Shouldn’t they be out there healing the sick and saving the Planet?

And for those striving for that, how’s that working out? We have learned that we are of more benefit to our fellow man if we are in our own joy and balance.  It’s all about self-love now, and a love that runs deep.  A love that accepts all of you, physically, mentally, emotionally, accepts your past, your actions or inactions   it’s a love that also understands that you can’t love yourself easily from your human perspective.  So you invite in your Soul to balance the human love with unconditional love.  It’s not done from the mind.  It’s a trust and a surrender, and it’s initiating a playfulness that you may think you left in your childhood.

That magic, that playfulness is what will activate the long-lost love of you for you.

Maybe get a children’s book with playful images and saturate yourself with that energy, of magic and mystery.  Nature herself is a magical kingdom, and small children are seen talking to the fairies and those beings in the other realms.

Give yourself permission to sing, to dance, to draw or paint.  Just for yourself. For the fun of it.  You came here at this time to break free of all the old limitations of this world of form, of duality and polarity.  You played in that old world for eons, and now you say, enough!  Now you want to create with more ease and you want more joyful experiences.

And it begins with the everyday you, and you don’t have to wait.  You can start just where you are at.  Just allow that child-like innocence to come forth more and give that child within priority.  That child holds the key to the magic and to your connection to your Soul.


Simply Divine CD Cover

Enjoy my song, Inside of Me, while reading the post.

Most people don’t want change.  They will bitch about their circumstances, but at the same time hold dearly to the status quo.  Why is that?

For one thing, change is hard.  There is a comfort in patterns, even if those patterns are not bringing us joy.  And the status quo is serving us in some way.  We resign ourselves to conditions or situations or ways of behaving in order to avoid something we consider far worse.  For example, staying in an abusive relationship is better than being alone.  Working in a job that gives us no joy is better than the anxiety of not knowing where the money will come from.  Being the emotional care taker for others is better than facing ourself and all our own feelings.

Some behaviors and patterns feel like home or like love according to our personal childhood experiences.  We may have been taught that love means behaving well or being there for the needs of others, putting aside our own needs in the process.  This is a hard role to give up.  Even when it clearly violates our self-respect.  Women especially have been taught that giving, giving, giving (over nurturing) is the way to receive love.  So they allow their personal boundaries to be crossed so much of the time to the point where they don’t even recognize it’s happening.

Meanwhile, they are repressing feelings of anger and resentment, because on the deeper level they know this is not love, and it certainly is not balanced.

Releasing Patterns

Now we are releasing patterns in a way never done before.  Through ascension.  We used to have to die and release our bodies and personalities in order to achieve that.  Now we are doing it in this lifetime in these bodies.  So if we are feeling indisposed physically, mentally and emotionally, and if our lives are turned upside down, we are right on track.  You see, because humans are so resistant to change, sometimes there has to be a disruption of the status quo.  We need to be knocked off our feet, at least initially.

But what happens in the process is we start to worry that something is wrong with us.  The only thing wrong is we are still clinging to those old patterns.  Change is intimidating.  It requires moving out of our comfort zones.  For example, sometimes it requires us to take actions that make us look selfish.

It often requires us to put our own needs in front of other people in our life.  Sometimes it requires us to be alone, to depend upon ourselves.  Yes, this ascension is extracting the old patterns right out of us, often in a painful way, because we do not like change so much, even though we asked for this change.

So much stuff is churned up, so much guilt, so much anger, so much sadness, and doubt.  Oh how we doubt.  What’s wrong with me?  What should I be doing?  Maybe my instincts are wrong and I should go back to the old ways.  I’m beginning to stand out too much from the crowd.  We also find ourselves saying, I seem to be happier in spite of my own chaos and the drama out there in the world.  I seem to like my own company better than most everyone else’s.  I don’t seem to enjoy care taking others any more.  In fact I am realizing that the care taking was the main connection I had with them and without it there is not much left to relate to with them.

And even with the inner voice that tells me I’m not worthy.  I am no longer giving that voice much attention.

We want change, and we are getting it.  Like never before.  We took on patterns on behalf of others, in order to transmute those patterns.  So they weren’t even ours.  Even so, we get stuck in them and they need to be extricated out of us. We are changing, we are beginning to respecting ourselves, and others reflect that back to us.  We notice we don’t attract so  many energy leaches anymore.  Which also means we can be a little bored without our old role to rely on, being there for others.  Because being there for ourselves can sometimes be lonely.  It means being with all our feelings.

It also means being there with our joy.  Seeing our magnificence.   Taking responsibility for our life and claiming our freedom.  Freedom from worry and fear, and from the opinions of others.  No, most people don’t want change.  They just want to bitch about their life.  But you, dear way shower, wanted change.  You asked for it a while ago.  You were the adventurous souls.  You came into this lifetime prepared, having worked on yourself over lifetimes, now ready to allow your christ seed to emerge.  No, you didn’t anticipate quite how much of a tsunami this thing called enlightenment would be, but nothing was going to stop you.

You wanted more than anything your enlightenment.

Step Into Your Teaching

Each of you reading these words is a teacher.  You have graduated from the school of life.  You are ready to move into your new role as a new consciousness, new energy teacher.

You have the wisdom, the compassion and the life experience (lifetimes of it).  You are the awakened ones who came here to make profound changes, first within yourselves.  You went through the difficult stuff, and even though it feels difficult still at times, many others are waiting to hear from you.  They want to know what you know.  Actually, on a soul level, they already know it.  You provide a voice for their inner knowing, confirmation for their inner truth – that they are divinity having a human experience.

Your teaching can come in a myriad of ways, from teaching an actual class or workshop, to blogging, counseling. to any creative expression, or just shining your light wherever you walk.  You show others who are ready, that being divine is also being very human, that spirituality is all about being brave enough to be selfish.  Selfish enough to care how you feel.  Teaching is more a state of being, not so much a profession.  It’s not about seeking a following because you know intimately this ascension process isn’t about following some guru.  It’s all about being the example of a human in the process of embracing their divine self and inviting that divine self into their every day life.  A human who is becoming their own best friend, and who is there for themselves, even if that means disappointing others.  It’s not about being the martyr.  It’s showing your students that it’s o.k. to get away from it all, to turn off your cell phone when you need to disconnect.  They will learn from you that it’s about being human as well as divine.  It’s about honoring the human aspect, honoring the human needs and desires.  Embracing all the emotions.  Letting those emotions come and go.

So being a teacher is not preaching and it’s not having an agenda for how others use the information.  It’s not about sacrificing, or taking on the imbalances of your students or clients.  It’s seeing their divinity.  It’s understanding that there is no room for power.  Sometimes you learn from your students, and you realize that they are aware in places you may not be yet.  You may find that when you step into your role as a new consciousness teacher that your students come in ways you didn’t expect.  Sometimes you feel unprepared, even like you are a fraud, someone who is just pretending.  But then you realize that it’s your human self that doubts.

So you have all these great gifts and all of this insight and experience.  You have your unique perspective.  Now it’s all about on the job training.  The only real difference between the teacher and the student in the new energy is the level of confidence.  And that comes naturally with each desire to share who you are, whether it’s through expressing creatively, or through simply enjoying the sensual experience of life on planet earth.

So if stepping into your role as a new energy teacher feels right for you, congratulations!  You have all the support you need.  Things will unfold in the most wonderful and unexpected ways.  Others are excitedly anticipating your presence.  And you can’t get it wrong, even in those moments when you feel that way.

Also check out my new page: Maria’s Enlightenment Cafe (menu at the top) where you will find many questions related to the New Ascension answered.