I don’t know about anyone else here but August was a very intense month for me. I have felt especially sensitive and insular. I had a couple of mini-meltdowns. Things just felt kind of endless and hopeless. My human self felt like it didn’t need too much more to push it over the edge into a precipice. And then there were moments when I felt the extraordinary bliss of my soul.
Oh good, you’re here. The title didn’t scare you off, or turn you off. Then read on…..I’ll start with a less frightening comparison. A dear friend showed me a list of PTSD and negative symptoms in thinking and mood. I was struck with how they are eerily similar to awakening symptoms.
Everything this morning went well. I woke up early and refreshed, made a little breakfast, and drove to my cafe as the sun was coming up. The air was balmy and fresh. I got here and the place is practically empty. I am sitting outside before the heat makes it too uncomfortable. The coffee is rich, fresh and hot. All is well, and yet I have a bit of heaviness in my heart. I don’t feel that connection to my soul. I know it’s there, but something is just off.
Note: This post is for those who have chosen Embodied Realization in this lifetime.
Why does realization feel so elusive? That moment in time when we shift from a life we have been living for over a thousand lifetimes, to a life as the embodied master? Why does that feel so implausible? Why can’t we wrap our mind around being predominantly the human one minute, and the next, being predominantly the I AM,￼￼ or the Master?