You may have noticed i haven’t posted in a while. Let me try to explain.
I know I am going through an integration process, integrating my light body. And I know with that comes many challenges, especially with the physical body such that it is.
But I never anticipated that it would be this brutal. The process has brought up some deep physical issues, and, while not life threatening, they erode the ability to truly enjoy life.
I have let go of a tremendous amount on the emotional level, but now I’m dealing with the physical body and its integration.
So these issues have not been easy in my life the last couple of years and they seem to be intensifying.
I can’t seem to get relief for them on the 3-D physical level which has lead to sleep deprivation and more stress and anxiety. I even resorted to trying some Xanax (imagine that), which is widely used as a short term remedy for certain conditions, and it worked for a couple of days on the physical symptoms but now I am experiencing side effects, a tingling nervous feeling in the whole body.
Maybe because of the light body, I am highly sensitive to chemicals now, and drugs like anti-anxiety meds. Or it’s just my own anxiety manifesting. But I know with certainty that I am feeling everything, the wanted and unwanted alike, with an intensity never experienced before. My senses have become ultra heightened, because of the light body.
Sometimes it feels like I have painted myself into a corner in which I can’t really do anything but surrender to soul. And even that feels impossible at this point. At least to my human self, my mind.
But anyway, it’s why I hadn’t been posting. It felt like there’s nothing I can offer at this point. I’ve sunk into a kind of abyss. And I’m not sure where to go from here. Other than just allow this to do what it needs to do.
This doesn’t sound very masterly of me, I know….or, maybe that is what the master must ultimately do. Just allow.
LOVE AND SUPPORT
Even though I have’t posted in awhile, I can still feel and am grateful for the love and support from those in this blog community. Some of whom I have reached out to. I have learned it’s important to allow others to help us at times.
A couple of dear friends in my FB group have been working with me personally throughout this, with energy work. to them I am deeply grateful.
A dear man in my life has been a touchstone for me throughout this ordeal. He is supportive, wise, and helps me to see that lumping all the anxiety into one pile just makes it unnecessarily overwhelming.
So he has walked me through it step by step so as not to get so overwhelmed. And throughout this, I have come to appreciate him on a deep level.
Meanwhile the remedies that work for others don’t always work for me. especially because of the light body process which many of us are undergoing.
And that is because our bodies are not just human anymore. they are becoming lightbody.
And whatever hasn’t been integrated will not necessarily respond to traditional remedies anymore.
Yes my physical conditions have medically bonafied diagnoses, but that doesn’t mean that they are going to respond to the same medical solutions.
But each of us is different and for some, the medical route is fine, and works. And I’m not discounting that it may for me.
Yet sometimes it’s a matter of just allowing the condition to transform. Either way, it can be scary. Which, fear has been a huge theme through this for me, and that’s exactly what needs to be transformed.
A NEW PERSPECTIVE FOR ME
Because of what I have been going through, my perspective has shifted profoundly on life in the past few months. I no longer see any point in taking sides on issues, politically or socially or even personally anymore. I see the beauty of life, the precious opportunity we have of being here and just enjoying everyday things.
I see that, no matter our political or social or even personal differences, we are all more alike than different in terms of having a heart, and our capacity to love.
Many things that used to bother me have no meaning to me anymore. It’s all about living every moment as if it’s our last. Being here. Being in life.
And yet I understand how difficult that can be for those of us still going through the intense final stages of transformation. Especially as it relates to the physical body.
We have to be so very patient with ourselves. Nurture ourselves. Love ourselves.
And know that the rough waters will become calm.
My love to all here.
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48 thoughts on “What I Am Going Through”
Hi Maria! I can really relate with your experience and know you will move through this with Grace. ✨💖✨Sending you my Love and Infinite support. ✨💖✨
Thank you Fran. ❤️
Hi Maria, do not despair. These so called “ascension” symptoms seem to be affecting a lot of us, recently. My Higher Self-insures me that they will not need to go on much longer but we are all different. Some have a more work to do and so on.
I like that you are taking a more neutral stand on life and the disturbing issue we all see are not helping. UghJust do as you are doing. Remain neutral, live your life in Love and Light and hang in there!
Thank you Juli! ❤️It’s good to know we are not alone.
Thank you for sharing your light activation symptons. I know I have also experienced the change in attitude on political etc issues. Because as we are remembering who we really are we realize it does not matter. Love is the only answer. Wise to surrender to the process, call on your guides/angels , they are with you every step of the way. As an old friend once told me, “this too shall pass”. Let go of the fear, you are releasing and welcome the miracles all around you. Blessings and healing, Diane
Thank you, Diane.❤️
The Deep Violet Transmuting Flame of Mother Earth is always on offer willingly and so advised by Jesus in the 5th.Blessing.
Aetherius says “Relax into it and let it rise up through the aura”.
Many thanks, my friend! ❤️
Sorry a correction. It was in the 7th. Blessing, “Blessed is the Mother Earth”.
Annette Carter’s comment had problems posting from her device so I am posting it here.
Thank you my dear Annette! I agree that one way or another this transformation is happening. Frankly I was disappointed with the side effect from the Xanax because it was helping. But my doctor is prescribing another one so we’ll see. Love to you. ❤️
Love you Annette!!!!!
Well said, Almond Sis.
I L🌺♥️E you Elizabeth!!! My sweet Almond Sis🥰
Oh gosh….dearest SiSTAR……I have been thinking about you. I am taking Zoloft which feels like a miracle to me. Otherwise my anti cancer drug (anastrozole) were dragging (think quicksand feeling) me into a dark dark vortex. I have overriding anxiety which is tied to depression. I have had it my whole life. The anastrozole exacerbated it tremendously.
WE are all so different and we all need to bust out of the box of what we think will work because of someone else and be very individual.
Thanks so much for letting us hear about you and take this opportunity to send you love.
Jeez….just when we thought we were through and the shifts keep hitting us. AND of course as we have all often talked about the physical is the last.
love you tons and tons
loving us all
Thank you dear siSTAR.❤️
Reblogged this on Infinite Shift.
Hi Maria, I hear you. The last 10 years were hellish with lots of physical symptoms but I survived them and am now mostly out of the woods. Many things that worked at one time didn’t work later: it was a moving target. Very strange.
Thank you my friend. 💕
Very Masterly indeed Maria and the ONLY way; Accept, Surrender and Allow… 🧘🏼♀️
Totally saturating the self (inner child/little self 👩👧) with the deepest love, care and attention, 24/7, everything you already know, is the key 🔑💯
(The last few hundred yards of a marathon, climbing Everest etc etc, are the hardest. Let go, Allow, love love love your-self, and you’ll realise you’re already there, right on top of that most glorious mountain.
An infinite and limitless abundance of love, light, peace, joy, happiness, ‘presence’ and well-being to you ✨🤍✨
Thank you, Tyron. 💕
Much love to you, Maria. You are not alone xx
Thank you my friend. ❤️
This is such an honest and real post from you. As you’ve always told me (with such wise and beautiful words), surrender and allow and remember we can even surrender to the part of us that feels like it can’t do this, our true selves always bubble back up after the storm has past and the waters have calmed. Perseverance and faith are our greatest allies during times like these.
And I can also relate tremendously, it’s like life has really left me no other choice but to surrender this time around. Dipping in and out of the ego mindset is a luxury (for lack of a better word) that I can’t afford anymore.
Sending you lots of love and light and you’ll be in my prayers, dear friend ❤️
Thank you, James. ❤️
‘Realisation happens the very moment we fall deeply in love with our-selves and ‘realise’ how utterly amazing we are… inside and out, head to toe, within us, with-out us and around us’
Total reunification, balance, harmony and alignment between human and Soul
Oh, Maria, I’ve been missing you, really. What you reported was very brave and I want to tell you that somehow I have also been very stressed and anxious. I use a lot of florals and homeopathy, in addition to phytotherapy, which helped me a little. Trust and faith that we will get there. very grateful!
Thank you, Adavai. ❤️
I appreciate your post. I was struck by your words “It felt like there’s nothing I can offer at this point” as for me this is a perfect offering 💖 I’m sorry you’re going through such challenging integration. I certainly can go through a lot although I have no idea what stages of integration I’m going through as you do. I can tend to have times of intense anxiety where my whole nervous system feels like it’s on alert. This is been happening for years. It has been happening lately. My first go to has always been some kind of supplement to at least calm my system down. Not that it’s necessarily the perfect solution but sometimes I just can’t seem to get out of the extreme feeling without it. I have no experience with drugs. I have used things that help with the gaba receptors and/or calming like taurine, inositol, niacinamide, drenamin, magnesium and even topical progesterone. I have never completely known whether it’s initiated physically or mental/emotional. Like you, sometimes something works one time and doesn’t work another time.
Many blessings to you Maria and for all of us to walk thru with grace and ease.
Thank you, Leslie. ❤️
Thank you all dear friends for you loving, wise, and supportive comments. I appreciate each and every one of them, and each of you.
Right now it’s difficult to respond to each one, but know that I am reading them and taking in the love. 💕💕💕💕
I sensed with your absence you were going through some tough times. Also, glad to hear you are getting strong support.
Keeping you in my thoughts,
Thank you my friend. ❤️
I had been looking for a post from you for weeks and recently I wondered what was going on and then your post appeared. I am truly sorry to learn about your struggles. I often lack clarity myself about my physical challenges , is it ascension, is it purely psychological, or is it a challenging astrological transit, or perhaps unprocessed intergenerational trauma, ( or all of the above)? I identify with so much of what you say here. As I grow and evolve, my physical stuff worsens, not improves. My sensitivities to stimuli, food issues, recurring illnesses, etc. The light body transition could be a great explanation.
Also at times through the pandemic, I have struggled to show up with something to say. even in my latest post ( my blogiversary) I offer that there is little to say that has not already been said. And like other comments have stated, your declaration is noteworthy and relatable. 🙂
I do not want to gush, but….. I am tough customer and can sometimes tire of writers rehashing the same “platform” over and over ad nauseum. You Maria, don’t do that. You offer fresh, raw, and unique perspectives on your journey and the collective at large. You bring nuance, balance, and clarity even in the face of confusing, frustrating and divisive rhetoric all over the “net. ” You are on point about the remedies needing to be updated ( literal treatments and global solutions). My motherly side is wanting to say be careful with the Benzos. They often come to the party with plenty of dangerous baggage that people don’t often anticipate.
If there is anything I can do to help, name it. In the meantime, I will send love , care, and healing energy your way.
Blessings my dear ❤
Thank you litebeing! 💕
So much love for you here Maria. That’s how amazing you are 🤍🙏🏻✨
Thank you, Tyron. ❤️
Sending you much love Maria!💖
Thank you, Joanna. ❤️
I hope it makes you smile when I seriously tell you that a few beers a day has been a godsend for me. Seems there are numerous “Dark Nights of the Soul”… emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and a few others that I can’t name but know intimately. Take care of you first, Maria. We’re with you and love you big-time. B.
Thank you, Barbara ❤️
² I’ve sunk into a kind of abyss. And I’m not sure where to go from here. Other than just allow this to do what it needs to do.
This doesn’t sound very masterly of me, I know….or, maybe that is what the master must ultimately do. Just allow.”
This is incredibly masterly of you Maria. Of course it is. Another proof of your evolution is this:
“Because of what I have been going through, my perspective has shifted profoundly on life in the past few months. I no longer see any point in taking sides on issues, politically or socially or even personally anymore. I see the beauty of life, the precious opportunity we have of being here and just enjoying everyday things.”
This is BIG! Detaching from the binary – even on a personal level – is indeed something the old masters talked about as a their ultimate goal and you seem to have reached it.
I completely understand what you are going through with your physical stuff and the transmutation of yet another round of stuck energies. It feels like a neverending cycle, doesn’t it? Yeah, same here. But maybe the issue is that so many of us have subconsciously placed a “deadline” on ascension. I definitely have done that at times.
I hope you are feeling better my friend. We are all rooting for you here.
Thank you Kat, for your love and support. 💕
I UNDERSTAND VERY WELL WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH. AS YOU KNOW ME TOO I AM GOING THROUGH A PHYSICALLY DIFFICULT PROCESS. I WAS ON BENZODIAZEPINE FOR MANY YEARS AND I HAVE REDUCED IT AT TGE MOMENT FROM 2MG A DAY TO 0,60MG. TOGETHER WITH THE ASCENSION PROCESS THIS IS NOT EASY.
Thanks, Fred. I know how hard that can be, and you are courageous for seeing it through.
I read your post once more.
I hope you are feeling better.
I am now on 0,20 mg of alprazolam each day and it is still a hell of a process!