What I Am Going Through

Graphic by Maria Chambers

You may have noticed i haven’t posted in a while. Let me try to explain.

I know I am going through an integration process, integrating my light body. And I know with that comes many challenges, especially with the physical body such that it is.

But I never anticipated that it would be this brutal. The process has brought up some deep physical issues, and, while not life threatening, they erode the ability to truly enjoy life.

I have let go of a tremendous amount on the emotional level, but now I’m dealing with the physical body and its integration.

So these issues have not been easy in my life the last couple of years and they seem to be intensifying. 
I can’t seem to get relief for them on the 3-D physical level which has lead to sleep deprivation and more stress and anxiety. I even resorted to trying some Xanax (imagine that), which is widely used as a short term remedy for certain conditions, and it worked for a couple of days on the physical symptoms but now I am experiencing side effects, a tingling nervous feeling in the whole body.

Maybe because of the light body, I am highly sensitive to chemicals now, and drugs like anti-anxiety meds.  Or it’s just my own anxiety manifesting. But I know with certainty that I am feeling everything, the wanted and unwanted alike, with an intensity never experienced before. My senses have become ultra heightened, because of the light body.

Sometimes it feels like I have painted myself into a corner in which I can’t really do anything but surrender to soul.  And even that feels impossible at this point.  At least to my human self, my mind.

But anyway, it’s why I hadn’t been posting.  It felt like there’s nothing I can offer at this point.  I’ve sunk into a kind of abyss. And I’m not sure where to go from here.  Other than just allow this to do what it needs to do.

This doesn’t sound very masterly of me, I know….or, maybe that is what the master must ultimately do. Just allow.

LOVE AND SUPPORT

Even though I have’t posted in awhile, I can still feel and am grateful for the love and support from those in this blog community. Some of whom I have reached out to. I have learned it’s important to allow others to help us at times.

A couple of dear friends in my FB group have been working with me personally throughout this, with energy work. to them I am deeply grateful.

A dear man in my life has been a touchstone for me throughout this ordeal. He is supportive, wise, and helps me to see that lumping all the anxiety into one pile just makes it unnecessarily overwhelming.

So he has walked me through it step by step so as not to get so overwhelmed. And throughout this, I have come to appreciate him on a deep level.

Meanwhile the remedies that work for others don’t always work for me. especially because of the light body process which many of us are undergoing.

And that is because our bodies are not just human anymore. they are becoming lightbody.

And whatever hasn’t been integrated will not necessarily respond to traditional remedies anymore.

Yes my physical conditions have medically bonafied diagnoses, but that doesn’t mean that they are going to respond to the same medical solutions.

But each of us is different and for some, the medical route is fine, and works. And I’m not discounting that it may for me.

Yet sometimes it’s a matter of just allowing the condition to transform. Either way, it can be scary. Which, fear has been a huge theme through this for me, and that’s exactly what needs to be transformed.

A NEW PERSPECTIVE FOR ME

Because of what I have been going through, my perspective has shifted profoundly on life in the past few months.  I no longer see any point in taking sides on issues, politically or socially or even personally anymore.  I see the beauty of life, the precious opportunity we have of being here and just enjoying everyday things.

I see that, no matter our political or social or even personal differences, we are all more alike than different in terms of having a heart, and our capacity to love. 

Many things that used to bother me have no meaning to me anymore.  It’s all about living every moment as if it’s our last.  Being here.   Being in life.

And yet I understand how difficult that can be for those of us still going through the intense final stages of transformation.  Especially as it relates to the physical body.

We have to be so very patient with ourselves.  Nurture ourselves.  Love ourselves.

And know that the rough waters will become calm.

My love to all here.

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