The further along we are in this ascension process, often the worse our lives may feel. Things seem to be falling apart physically, emotionally, financially, in relationships and jobs.
We scratch our heads and say, “I don’t get it. What am I missing? What’s the benefit of integrating my divine into my life if I’m left with nothing? If my body is falling apart, my emotions are out of control, my mind is going crazy? I don’t remember signing up for this!”
You say to yourself, or whoever will listen, “I see others around me, who know nothing about this ascension process, whose lives are getting better. They seem to be healthy, and financially doing well. Did I take a wrong road somewhere?
My body seems to be more sensitive than ever! I’ve got these ailments that persist no matter what I do. My mind just can figure it out!”
You may identify with some, or all of the above. Whatever stage of this process you are in, you are probably experiencing some symptoms. And the frustration that accompanies them. Your friends or family probably don’t understand, even if they say they do. They can’t, unless they have also given permission for this transformational process. So this adds an element of feeling very alone.
So you get confused. You don’t want to feel sorry for yourself, you know you are not a victim, but you can’t help but feel at the end of your rope from time to time. What you may have forgotten is that even though you have been working on this process for lifetimes, this is THE lifetime you slated for your ascension. Which means a hell of a lot of transformation needs to occur in your body of consciousness.
It takes an adventurous human to allow this process. Not many want to undergo the massive inner and outer changes required. Of things breaking down in their life, of losing things that they cherished. Of facing the deepest and darkest of emotions, in order to clear them. Of losing the things that gave them a sense of security, whether it was a job, a relationship, family, health, finances, and even the mental constructs called beliefs. What they once believed no longer rings true for them anymore. Who they thought they were seems to be dissolving. The passions, the connections with others are going away! Even their beliefs about being spiritual no longer apply.
So what started out as an exciting idea, this concept of enlightenment, isn’t exactly what we expected. Or, put another way, its a lot more challenging than expected.
But the good news is, we are doing in a few short years in this lifetime, what took lifetimes to do. We are rebirthing in these same bodies, and transforming them in the process. It’s not that we don’t deserve joy, health, and financial abundance, but if we are to house our soul in these bodies, and into our life, we need to release anything that blocks the self-love. And the result will be more joy, and our bodies, and our finances naturally come into balance.
Part of the awakening process is integrating our aspects. Those aspects are parts of ourself from this and other lifetimes, that have separated from us. Many of them are angry at us and want to create drama in our life. They come in and accuse us of many things: we are not good enough, smart enough, young enough, spiritual enough. They feel angry, sad, confused, lost. They make their presence known by how we feel. They sense that something different is happening to us, and they come in close. They want to feel the love, and they want to come home. Our job isn’t to try to analyze them or to figure out what life time or when they began. All we need to do is acknowledge those feelings, whether it is sadness, anger, anxiety, fear, boredom, or any other so-called ‘dark’ emotion, and breathe in our soul to assist with integrating those aspects. There should be no forcing or trying involved in this. It’s just an allowing.
That’s the part many of us are still struggling with – the allowing of our soul-self to love us just as we are, and to infuse its presence into our bodies and our lives. But if it is taking longer than desired then so be it. This is a process after all. If it could happen at the snap of a finger everyone would be ascending on the planet in an overnight fashion.
There are many in the new age community who contend that we are going into unity consciousness, and while that is true, we are required to be selfish enough to fall in love with ourselves, because unity consciousness can never manifest on this Planet if humans are running around, carrying old baggage that burdens them with old fears that tell them they are not good enough, or worthy enough to have a joyful life experience. Each one of you is, or will be teaching others who are ready what you have learned on your way to ascension. That information is more valuable than any amount of money or things. Showing others by example how you are becoming an integrated human.
So as an aspect comes in and tries to tell you that you are not good enough on whatever level, you know the truth. That you are love and you are spirit and you are also the darkness, you are all of it. We were taught that being human is on the low-end of the totem pole, and spirit was way up there somewhere. As we awaken, we realize that there is no totem pole. There is simply a body of consciousness. We come to understand that we exist in many dimensions at once. That we are in the process of transmuting the denser energies. That we are in the process of grounding the New Energy. Learning to use the New Energy has its own challenges. One is that it is easier and freer and we are not used to that.
Again, the biggest challenge to us on the ascension track is to allow this process. To surrender to our soul. To accept ourselves as we are. And in that acceptance of it all…the seeming chaos of our lives, we begin to love ourselves into a joy-filled life experience.