This morning on the way to Starbucks I heard a rattle coming from somewhere in my car. My mind went right to the past and began to panic.
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Last month I heard a similar rattle, and it turned out to be a blown tire. I was close enough to home and two maintenance guys happened to be right there and helped me to repair it till I got to a service station.
So I was going through worst scenarios, from flat tire, to something major in the engine. Since the sound occurred only when the car was moving, and especially over rough road, I hoped it was just something rattling around in the glove compartment, or the trunk. Lord knows there’s enough junk in both spaces for lots of rattling.
But the rattling continued. So I drove it to the service station. The mechanic figured out it was the sunglasses holder on the car’s top front windshield.
I was relieved. But it brought up plenty of fears. I realized that this process of integration brings up our deepest fears, especially around survival issues.
For me it’s the fear of losing my independence, and my mobility. Whether it’s a physical condition in the body, or my means of transportation.
In the old days, I would depend upon others when things happened, like my car not working or running into financial problems. But over time I find myself depending upon only myself.
And in the past I would imagine having so much money in my account that I would never have to worry again about money.
That too has changed. I have come to realize that this transformation from human to divine human isn’t about having lots of money in a bank account. It’s really about trusting that the money or resources will be there as needed.
And they have been. I’m not talking about barely enough. But enough for what is needed and desired in the moment.
And that’s the tricky part. It’s about being in the moment. That is what is required in this new energy we are in. There’s no planning, goal setting or control involved. And to the mind, that’s tantamount to being irresponsible, or even crazy.
Yet it’s the only way that we will be able to claim our freedom while still being human.
And it’s why this process is going slower than we would like it to. Because to allow so much and to trust to the degree we are needing to trust our soul to take care of our health and well being…..that’s no small thing.
It’s happening at the pace that our body and mind can safely handle.
And many of us are noticing that it’s already happening in our life. That things seem to flow better, and things seem to resolve themselves. Synchronicities are more frequent.
After a while, we even begin to feel that we really don’t have any problems. That things always seem to work themselves out. Although usually not in the way we expect.
It’s challenging for a mind that has been in charge of things and responsible for our health and well-being for lifetimes.
This trust thing is relatively new.
There are times when we do trust, and times when we feel the deepest fears. We reach into our past and find the worst outcomes and project them into the present and future.
But I have been allowing myself to feel the fears when they come up, and I notice that they do dissipate much quicker than in the past.
We are not in the same frequency anymore in which these worst case scenarios would even happen. But try explaining that to the mind. Actually, don’t. Just allow the mind to feel those fears, and don’t attach any story or potential outcome to the emotion.
Because at this point in our transformation, those stories and potentials are no longer a part of who we are becoming. At this point they are just residue in our body and mind that is being released and transformed by our very capable soul.
A very wise teacher has said not to take these issues that come up personally. Because if we do, if we try to attach them to our past or any story in our life, the energy has a way of staying stuck.
The car situation is a perfect metaphor for what’s happening in our bodies and our lives. It feels like things are falling apart. And to a degree that’s true. (And in many cases, it’s just a minor adjustment like the sunglasses holder). But in many ways, old systems are falling apart and being upgraded. They are being replaced by much more efficient ones.
But in order for that to happen in the smoothest way, we need to give over the steering wheel to our soul.
Even things in our life that seem incurable, or unresolvable, are being rebalanced or released. There is absolutely nothing that can’t be transformed. But trying to figure any of it out logically or realistically doesn’t work. We are no longer operating from a place of logic.
Don’t tell that to your friends.
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