Greetings. I am Tef-Lon, of Non-Stick Surface. I reside in the Quantum space within the outer corridors of the 999 billionth dimension. I am responsible for shifting the cookware grids in 1987. It is why many of you back then switched from cast iron to T-fal. You’re welcome! I come to you in this now to bring you good news.
To better serve you, the Planet Earth has been selected by ALL THAT IS to fill out a short survey. Any human who chooses to participate will be entered in a sweepstakes contest to win a free pass to Instant Realization. No purchase necessary. Restrictions apply. Non-transferable. Must be old enough to remember MySpace. Not eligible in Alabama.
Please answer the following questions as accurately as possible.
1. While visiting Planet Earth, were you greeted in a friendly manner?
◦Once in a blue moon
2. Would you rate the atmosphere of Planet Earth to be
◦Great atmosphere but the service was lousy
◦Terrible atmosphere but good service
3. Has your spiritual journey been
◦All of the above
4. Do you even know what a spiritual journey is?
◦Does not apply
5. After residing on the planet do you consider yourself
6. Would you recommend Planet Earth to souls who are considering it for the first time?
◦Not on your life
7. Would you come back to Planet Earth?
◦Not on my life
Which of the following best describes your own realization?
- I am not yet realized
- I am realized, I just don’t realize it yet
- I am realized, and I realize it, but I have placed it in the linear future, so in my now, I am not realized
- I am not realized, but I actually am realized, but I’m pretending I’m not because I’m grooving on the experience of ‘getting there’
- All of the above
- none of the above
- It doesn’t matter
- I need a drink
Thank you for participating. Click here 👕 to continue shopping.
Click here 👡 to return to Kansas, Dorothy.
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