Soulsoothinsounds's Blog

For those awakening divine humans

Compassion, Not Sympathy

11 Comments

You have a big heart, and you do not enjoy seeing your fellow humans suffering.  Hell, you don’t enjoy seeing YOU in pain.  And you have held your hand out countless times to those who you felt a heart connection with, whether they were someone you knew or a complete stranger, trying to soothe them in any way you could.  For that you are deeply honored.  That had its place.

But where you are going, as an ascending human, you will not be taking pity or sympathy with you, but you will be taking compassion.  There is a big difference between compassion and sympathy, or pity.  Compassion, at least the way it’s used in this discussion, is allowing others to be just who they are, allowing them their own journey.  What that looks like to you is really not your concern.  Even if they choose suffering, drama, and victimhood.  It’s knowing that they are going through what you went through, and much of what you went through was for the purpose of having more compassion for your fellow human beings.  It has helped you to be a better teacher.  For those you choose to work with.

Sympathy or pity is taking on others’ emotions and pain, and feeling it with them.  Most of us on the ascension path have been taking on the emotions of mass consciousness, of humanity and even to the point of believing that they are our issues. We are in the process of letting that go. It’s a big step in our evolution.

WHAT ROLE WILL WE PLAY?

As you let go of your caretaking role, on a more personal level, it may feel awkward at first, especially if you still have relationships built on past connections.  You may feel challenged right now to reconsider those connections.

There may be others who come to you.  They may even come to you and tell you they want change, that they can’t bear to be here a moment longer because it’s too painful.  They may have an awareness and many insights into their situation.

They may say they are ready for change, that they just need to be heard, and acknowledged.  That they are wanting someone to help them to understand why all this is happening to them.

Some mean that.  Some are truly ready to step out of the old story, and they just need someone to guide them.  You will know pretty quickly if that is true, or if they just want to feed off of you and then go back to their old ways.  They sense your balance and they want to feel that too, but are not willing to do the necessary inner work, the hard work of loving themselves and allowing their soul to love them back.

But even if they are ready to move forward, does that mean you are wanting to play the role of guide?  Many of us took on that role as our default.  Not considering if it was truly what we wanted.  Outside of being a professional guide, as in providing a spiritual service in which we get compensated, is it what we want to do?

In other words, are you looking for clients that you can assist, or do you want an equal, a friend who is at the level you are at, who is already becoming self-loving and sovereign?  Someone who can be a true friend.  Where there is no compromising, or dimming of your light in order to connect with them.  Or where there is not a teacher/student relationship.

So sympathy is not doing you or anyone else any good.  It’s taking on the emotions of the one in pain.  I love the analogy in which someone is sinking in quicksand, and their friend in an attempt to assist them jumps into the quicksand too.  Looks like they are going to have to find a third-party to pull them both out!quicksand-friends

The new energy is based upon compassion for others and for the Planet.  It’s having the wisdom to allow them to continue their own journey.  It’s not about rescuing anyone or saving anyone.  The Superman complex gets supermantossed out. Many in the New Age Community will have issue with that.  They for the most part still see enlightenment as being all light and excluding the dark.  If they have not faced their own shadow with love, they will continue projecting it outside themselves.  The enlightened being is someone who brings back all of themselves, the light and the dark.  And because they have done that, they can have the deepest compassion for others because they know that they too must go through their own awakening.  That no one can be rescued or shielded from their own shadow, or their emotions that have been suppressed.

YOUR RADIANCE IS GROWING

As a master, as your light grows, don’t expect everyone to ingratiate themselves to you.  To many people you will be considered a pain in the butt!  That’s because light has a tendency to bring to the surface issues that have been hidden.  Not everyone is ready to look at those.

And others will be drawn to you because they sense that you have been where they are now.  You provide a safe energy for them to be themselves.  It’s not what you say so much or what you do, it’s just your radiance, which is growing as you continue loving yourself.  The difference now is you no longer need to feel that you have to help them.  If it brings you joy and does not diminish your light, then go for it.  But so often we have done the knee jerk response and ended up downloading others’ emotions without realizing it.

Sometimes I would justify staying in a relationship by telling myself they were much more conscious, much more aware than they really were.  Or that I was still struggling with the same issues they were.  But really i just wasn’t owning the place I was at, a very new place.

If you enjoy being with them and feel no need to swoop in and help them, then that is a good place to be.  I have a dear friend I have known since college.  Although he and his husband live across the country, and although he and I do not see eye to eye on the existence of the soul, we truly enjoy talking to each other.  There seems to be a genuine heart to heart connection without any agenda, or any feeding going on.  Our conversations can be interesting and deep, sometimes sharing personal challenges we are experiencing, but without trying to change each other or pulling in drama.

Every once in a while a friend needs a hand to get out of that downward spiral of self-condemnation or feeling victimized by life.  But you are wise enough now to know if someone has a tendency or a pattern in which they continually create drama and crisis.  You begin to see that they are enjoying it too much.  They are still getting something out of it.  It is serving them in some way.

And you are wise enough to know that by holding their hand and bailing them out emotionally you are not helping them and are diminishing your light in the process.

Enjoy my music video, A Rail Song.

copyright © 2016, Maria Chambers, All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, your Facebook page, etc, but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author and source website link: Maria Chambers at http://www.soulsoothinsounds.wordpress.com

 

Author: soulsoothinsounds

Our lives are like great paintings or great pieces of music. If we focus on all the technical 'imperfections' we will miss the true beauty of the work. We won't see, or rather, FEEL the essence and spirit of the masterpiece. I no longer identify myself as a writer, artist, or musician. Rather I express my divinity, and my humanity through the media of art, music and writing. I began this blog because I wanted to give voice to my experiences and insights, and I wrote for myself primarily. Six years later, I am still writing for myself, and I am discovering that my experiences are not personal but universal - galactic even. And now I am more sure than ever that I am a new consciousness teacher, as each of you are. The way we teach is by going through the very human experiences, and as we ascend and shed our old selves, with love, and as we embody spirit in this lifetime, which we are all doing, we become the standards for others of the new divine human.

11 thoughts on “Compassion, Not Sympathy

  1. Pingback: Compassion, Not Sympathy — Soulsoothinsounds’s Blog | Blue Dragon Journal

  2. “And others will be drawn to you because they sense that you have been where they are now. You provide a safe energy for them to be themselves”

    That is so well put. That’s what I have done to so many people and what I have been told numerous times. People feel safe to be themselves with me. (or felt, because I have been quite reclusive for a while now). Maybe also because I ‘m not easily shocked by anything or generally not judgemental. But I reckon it is as you say. It’s about the energy. What was great for them was also the fact that I wasn’t needy and feeding off of them, so they could “feast” on their own ( not that they had any energy I wanted to feed on anyway) haha.

    I do think that this all had its time and place. I believe I was meant to help some people out of shitty situations, as I was helped as well by others – not by me talking about my issues but by them helping me in a more practical way; by giving me a place to stay and feeding me for example, which was an experience I had to make in order to realise that I can lean on others as well. I was basically put in a situation where my own independence wasn’t the solution; I had to accept the help of others; that was so hard at first as you can imagine.

    But these times are over now. I don’t feel like there is so much more to learn, at least not in the same intensity that was prevalent some years ago in my life. Obviously there is still much more that I will learn, but that is not the focus now. I feel the focus is experience: experience the joy of being alive. Relax, let things come, implement what you already have learned. So the big, hard lessons are behind me, now it’s time to put them into use.
    LOVE to you 🙂

  3. Maria–

    Yes.
    Yes!
    YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!
    This resonates so perfectly–every single word!!! Brilliant how you put words to it all so perfectly. One part that especially struck me was how certain others are just not ready to do the serious work of loving themselves–i have a dear friend where that is the case, even though she THINKS she is being loving towards herself she is sill really beating the hell out of herself, and i have no way of showing her the difference other than by my just doing my thing and being an example of it–words have failed repeatedly lol.
    And Kat you are so right about others getting the double bonus of feeding off our light and attention whilst not being fed upon themselves bcuz we dont need anything from them! Of course that would be attractive to them! But not so much for us….. 🙄LOL

    • “And Kat you are so right about others getting the double bonus of feeding off our light and attention whilst not being fed upon themselves bcuz we dont need anything from them! Of course that would be attractive to them! But not so much for us….. 🙄LOL”

      It’s an energetical one way street isn’t it. Glad that changed though

  4. So relevant to me Maria. I noticed yesterday a lot of people sharing their “stuff” with me. As always happens. I think others are drawn to my light. Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign on my forehead “Talk to me”. Sometimes I’m better as not taking on their energy than other times. I find myself noticing (not saying this; noticing) patterns in others. Maybe I’m familiar with those patterns. I see others “blaming” others for their reactions and feelings. I also notice at times I need to extricate myself from conversations sooner, as I feel their negative energy seeping into me. I want to let it flow through me better. I’ve been told I heal people by my presence, but I’m not always proficient at letting it go, instead of getting stuck in my field. Feeding off our light is the perfect way to describe it! Hearing others talk of things I’ve been through reminds me of how I felt, so I have sympathy, but then I know they’ll come through it and it will help them change. Its an interesting mixture.

    • Sherry
      yes, it sounds all too familiar to me too. I guess a good rule of thumb is, checking in with ourselves frequently and asking ourselves, how am I feeling right now? And is this what I am wanting to feel? So if we notice that those around us are into the victim/drama place, we can then choose to excuse ourselves if we can’t seem to move the conversation to something more uplifting.

      I notice that with some people, I just couldn’t get past their vibrational ‘range.’ I decided that how I want to feel is most important, much more important than how they want to connect with me. Admittedly sometimes it was fun playing in the game with them, but it’s really getting old.

      It’s truly not our job to help anyone feel more comfortable at the expense of our own joy. I think that is one of the most important realizations for me. It’s like, “Wait. You mean I don’t have to do this anymore if I don’t want to? You mean I can just walk away from anyone or anything that doesn’t feel good? I don’t have to prove that I can transcend it?”

      And I think we will eventually be able to allow things to flow through us better, or we will just not attract those kinds of feedings from others. But until that time, we really need to preserve our precious energies and focus on our own radiance. I like how you phrase it:

      “Hearing others talk of things I’ve been through reminds me of how I felt, so I have sympathy, but then I know they’ll come through it and it will help them change.”

  5. Hey Maria. Just enjoying your ‘talk to me’ track. I just love the simple compassion of it. And even if there’s no one trying to talk to us or for us to talk to right then? Just the affirmation of that compassion FOR OURSELVES…speaks volumes at times when we feel less than fabulous. I will definitely revisit that track as and when I feel the need!

    ‘I know what you’ve been through/I’m here for you’. ‘My soul knows who I am’ indeed!

    I’m an extremely sensitive and empathic Pisces type, currently somewhat in ‘recluse’ mode. And your blog and music has been such a find Maria! I’m 55 and female and you and the community of readers and commenters here resonate with me SO much. I love that you’ve written so much about so many aspects of the spiritual awakening (I’m not even halfway through reading it all and absolutely relishing every post!), and I especially love the affirmative and non-judgmental aspects of your writing. You are not a ‘should’, prescriptive person AT ALL. One can FEEL that you have ‘been there’ for long enough yourself to refrain from judging others’ weaknesses.

    I’ve heard it said that we only tend to learn what we already know – we don’t exactly learn new things, it’s more that we are reminded of our soul’s preexisting knowledge. This is certainly my experience. Hence, reading your blog is almost like revealing myself to myself yet with the added bonus that it’s coming ‘from outside’, and is therefore so extremely validating. So yes, just a massive ‘thank you’ going out to you Maria.

    • Beetrootsoup….I’m so pleased that you found this blog and this amazing community of kindred souls….and that you get that ‘Talk To Me’ is all about our soul and us, not necessarily another human and us. You sound like an old (advanced) soul filled with such wisdom.

      I’m especially happy you are enjoying the music. It’s been such fun to create it, and such a healing tool. Since it bypasses the mental and goes to the heart. And it engages our senses, which I am discovering this enlightenment is also about sensuality…engaging our human and divine senses. It makes life so much richer.

      And yes, so right…these words and energies just validate what we already know as the soul.

      And yes, there is a deep archive of material here. I began the blog in 2010….and it’s been so satisfying on so many levels, one of which is connecting to souls such as yourself. Enjoy and welcome to the community. 🤗🌹💕💕

  6. I can definitely relate to what you wrote here, Maria. I had been such a Rescuer, and I’m grateful that I’ve now become so much more aware of this and how disempowering it is for everyone. Thankfully, my rescuer days are behind me. 😀 I’ve lost all interest in dramas and in ‘saving’ others from their misery. It’s not that I don’t care or have no concern for them. I do, but I now know that it isn’t my responsibility to remove them from their suffering. I also know that people need to go through painful situations because it is part of their growth process and evolution.

    I have been sharing quite a bit about this — rescuing tendency — on my site. In fact, I had just published the post,”Compassionately Listening & Observing Instead Of Rescuing” which was featured on Barbara Franken’s Me, My Magnificent Self. Every other Monday throughout this year, Barbara hosts a Guest Blogger/Author Feature showcasing their thoughts and perspective on COMPASSION. She will put together all submissions in a FREE E-Book which will be available at the end of the year. There are still a few slots available, and I thought about you and how invaluable your contribution will be. If you’re interested, here’s the link for details on what to submit, etc. http://memymagnificentself.com/2017/01/16/want-appear-guest-blogger/

    Thanks, Maria, & much L ❤ ve to you!!! Om Shanti….Nadine

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